• Published 4th May 2012
  • 4,806 Views, 252 Comments

Martin's Unreal Life - CrypticMetaphor

Martin returns home after winter wrap, until The Six decide its time for them to cross over with him

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Chapter 2: Earth

Martin and the now human ponies were all petrified in fear; Sortitus just continued to stare at all of them with a look of anger as he stepped past Martin and into the living room.

Rainbow tried to stand and failed miserably and fell flat on her face, she looked up with an awkward smile, “Heeeey Sortitus, how’s it going”

Sortitus fixed her with a glare that caused her to shrink away from the cloaked individual; he then turned to Martin and spoke in a calm voice with visible effort to keep himself from not losing his temper, “Do you all have any idea what you have done?”

Martin nervously smiled, “Um, I brought Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash to Earth?”

Sortitus was in front of Martin before the human could even blink, “Yes, and all of you have broken the promise you have made to me”

Twilight managed with great effort to crawl over to Rainbow to see if she was alright, she then looked at Sortitus, “We all understand that we broke our word and we are deeply sorry”

Rainbow nodded, “Plus I really don’t see what the problem is”


His words made the very house itself tremble and cause Fluttershy to freeze up and fall on her back, Sortitus noticed their various reactions and inhaled deeply to calm himself before continuing, “Apologies, I’ve just been under a lot of stress of late and this incident isn’t helping my mood in the least”

Martin nodded then addressed the elephant in the room, “What exactly do you mean we’ve doomed the universe?”

Sortitus sighed as he sat down on the couch, only for Rarity to yell at The Aspect to move, to which he complied and stood up, “I’m afraid I must deliver more bad news, when the six of you came through The Bridge with Martin, you destroyed it”

All of six girls gasped in unison, Pinkie then yelled in anguish, “We’re never going to see Ponyville or our friends again!”

Sortitus raised his hands, “let me explain before the hysteria starts alright?”

Pinkie stopped immediately and smiled, “Okie Dokie”

Sortitus nodded, “Alright, to start off, the reason the bridge collapsed was because it was only fashioned for Earth’s inhabitants to use, not Equestrians”, he then gestured to the still steam producing door, “Since Earth has no natural magic energy, the bridge was stable for any earthling to use but since the six of you come from a world practically irradiating magic, the foreign energy that all of you exude caused the bridge to rupture and collapse when the energies were introduced into it”

Twilight nodded in understanding but raised another question, “But why are we now in the forms of humans instead of ponies?”

Sortitus just stared at her, “It’s a side effect from the bridges natural energies, sort of like what happens to Martin when he goes to your world and gains those abilities”

Pinkie nodded, “Makes sense”

Everyone, except Sortitus, looked at her and asked, “It does?”

She gave them all a look, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Sortitus continued as attention once more returned to him, “When the bridge collapsed not only have you officially rendered your way home inert for the time being, but you have also weakened the dimensional barrier between your worlds, which if left unchecked could cause a disaster of biblical proportions”

As they all looked at Sortitus, he sighed as he walked toward the front door, “well I must get to work on making a new bridge immediately”, he then added with great annoyance, “that both Humans and Equestrians can use from scratch”

Martin stopped him, “How long exactly will it take?”

Sortitus then looked at him and spoke in a still annoyed tone, “Well the one I made for you took me about a year, but since it’s destroyed and remnants still remain the process will be shorter, I would say six to nine months at the most”

Martin raised his voice a few octaves, “SIXTEY NINE MONTHS!!!”

Sortitus shook his head, “No, six to nine months, also I would suggest keeping them out of trouble can you handle that?”

Martin was flustered, “Why me?”

Sortitus opened the door as he stepped out onto the doorstep, “Because you brought them here, oh and Martin”, Martin looked at The Aspect, “Find them some damn clothes”

Sortitus shut the door as he leaned against it, “I just pray that my vision does not come to pass, out of all the things in existence, Martin would not be able to handle HIM in his current situation”


Back in Equestria, a statue of a Draconequus with a look of horror on its face cracked until the stone fell from its form. The creature stretched and yawned, it then looked around frantically noticing just at that moment that it was free once more, it immediately snapped its fingers and spawned a radar screen which it tapped a few times. No blips of any colour appeared which caused the creature to smile evilly as it laughed.

Discord then made the screen disappear as he stopped laughing and looked a bit sad, “It seems Twilight and her merry band aren’t anywhere in Equestria”, He then smiled mischievously as he rubbed his lion paw and talon together, “While the Elements are away, Discord shall play”


Martin had a blindfold on his eyes, “Just tell me when you’re decent”

Rarity responded with a huff, “Are you sure you don’t have anything for us to wear”

Martin nodded as he addressed Rarity’s direction, “The only women I’ve had over here were my mother and little sister, and that is a visit I prefer to forget”

A few seconds passed before he was told to remove his blindfold, he looked at the six who were still awkwardly seated on the ground but were now wrapped in white bed sheet togas, he then smiled, “Plus, Roman royals used to wear these”

Rarity then took a whole new appreciation for her “outfit” as Martin began to pace, “Ok first off, you all have realized that you have lost your wings and horns”, when this was said, the former pegasi and unicorns instinctively touched where their horns and wings used to be, “And you all have new bodies you need to adapt to on a planet you know little to nothing about, so as your friend I’m going to help you all blend in until the bridge is repaired, but we must first tackle the greatest challenge you will face here”

Fluttershy then asked, “What’s that?… if you don’t mind me asking”

Martin stopped and dramatically stated, “Walking”


Sorry for the short chapter, the next one shall make up for it

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