• Published 4th May 2012
  • 4,805 Views, 252 Comments

Martin's Unreal Life - CrypticMetaphor

Martin returns home after winter wrap, until The Six decide its time for them to cross over with him

  • ...

Chapter 1: Break on Through

The sun was high above the Equestrian Mountains shedding its warm glow over a winter laid land; all the ponies were prepping themselves for winter wrap up that was scheduled for the following day. Sitting on a park bench wrapped in a thick grey winter coat complete with black snow pants and boots along with a scarf wrapped around his neck and black gloves was Martin Fairbridges, who was currently staring at Twilight Sparkle with envy.

Martin shivered slightly as Twilight gave him a confused look, “Martin, I still don’t see why you have to dress in so many layers”

Martin just spoke through clenched teeth so to prevent them from chattering, “I already told you I have to or I’ll freeze to death”

Twilight just gave a half smile, “But surely earth winters are just as cold”

Martin shook his head frantically, “Not even close, this is like advanced winter, how do you even stand this…”, he then remembered Twilight was a PONY, “Oh….right”

Twilight just laughed in response, and then a snow pony behind both of them exploded revealing Pinkie Pie hiding within, “Hi!”

Martin jumped slightly but smiled, “Hey Pinkie, what’s up?”

Pinkie reflected for a moment on the comment, “The sky, the clouds, OH! And the birds, the bees, the sun…”

Martin just chuckled as he turned to look at Twilight as Pinkie carried on, “So tell me more about winter wrap up”

Twilight nodded, “well as you’ve heard, winter wrap up is when the citizens of Ponyville work together to wrap up winter to bring in the spring by getting rid of all things that are pretty much winter related, waking up the hibernating animals, building new nests for the birds when the pegasus ponies retrieve them and cleaning up all the snow and planting new plants”

Martin nodded, “so it’s like spring cleaning”

Twilight thought for a second, “If you put it that way, I guess so”

Martin smiled, “so where do I sign up?”

Unbeknownst to either of them, the rest of the six had been looking for Pinkie and had come across Martin and Twilight’s conversation, Rainbow of course put her two cents in, “Well you can help if you want, I just don’t think you could handle it”

Martin just stared at Rainbow, “Excuse me, if you forgot I fought an Aspect of creation…”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, “with our help…”

Martin then raised a correcting finger, “but not before I did some fair amount of damage on my own”

All the ponies sighed as Rainbow and Martin got into an argument which seemed to not have a conclusion. This wasn’t the first argument they had, Martin had been coming back and forth between his world and Equestria for two months now, and they had all become close friends with him and he would always help them out when asked be it helping them with errands or just hanging out and chatting. None the less, the one thing the ponies had grown accustomed to was him and Rainbow Dash duking it out on the verbal battleground. Breaking up the arguments was easier said than done due to the fact that when both of them started, their stubborn attitudes prevented them from reaching a conclusion or backing down from each other.

Rainbow Dash then said bluntly, “I have an entire weather team on my side!”

Martin then for some reason blurted out, “So, I can do the work on every team”

Rarity spoke in a calming tone, “Now now you two, let’s not make any promises we can’t keep”

Martin looked straight at her, “OH, I can totally keep it!”

Rainbow then took on a cocky grin, “Prove it then smart guy”

Martin stood with a determined smile, “I Martin Fairbridges shall be the best damn winter wrap up person you have ever seen!!”, Rainbow just scoffed, but stopped when Martin pointed at her, “and I won’t even break a sweat!!”


Martin had discarded his winter coat and layers in favor of the loose fitting black muscle shirt that was underneath, winter wrap up went by without a hitch, there was the odd occasion somepony would “accidentally” throw a snowball. When it had ended, Martin was absolutely winded, he was still wearing his black snow pants and boots along with the muscle shirt, when he collapsed under a shady tree in exhaustion, almost all the ponies there applauded his hard work where as others just smiled and shook their heads.

Rainbow flew over to where he was passed out along with the rest of her friends who had long discarded their vests, “Told ya so”

Martin then uttered a weak, “Shut up Dash”

Rainbow just smiled in triumph as he reluctantly stood up and started walking toward the town with the six following close behind, “Hey Rarity, you don’t mind if I open the bridge using your front door do you?”

Rarity just smiled, “Not at all Darling”

Martin nodded as he approached The Carousel Boutique and pulled the key from his pocket, he then touched it to the door knob and there was a loud clicking noise.

Martin was about to grab the knob when Rainbow spoke again, “Okay I have to say it, I have been as patient and understanding on this subject as the next pony…”

Applejack just rolled her eyes, “Oh please Dash, ya haven’t stopped talkin about it since you made the promise”

Fluttershy then added, “And complaining”

Pinkie then said, “And whining”

Twilight nodded, “And praying”

Rarity then added with a slight bit of amusement, “And yelling at the sky”

Rainbow waved her hooves frantically, “Ok, Ok I get it, but seriously Martin, what about all those promises you gave us about seeing your world and its various attractions”

Twilight sighed, “I hate to admit it, but I’m also a bit upset that we won’t be able to experience your world as you do”

Martin looked at all of them, “Do you all feel this way?”

All of the ponies reluctantly nodded, Martin looked at the ground for a second as his hand was hovering near the doorknob, and he then looked up with a sly grin, “Well if that’s the case you all might want to cover your eyes and get close because it’s going to be a bumpy ride”

All of their eyes lit up instantly as they all crowded close to their human friend, Fluttershy spoke, “Won’t Sortitus be mad when he finds out that we broke our promise”

Rainbow put her for leg around her friend’s neck, “You mean, IF he finds out, I mean come on he can’t see EVERYthing from that window of his”

Fluttershy was about to say a rebuttal when Martin opened the door and the light engulfed them all, a few seconds later after the door shut, the sound of an earthquake like explosion was heard throughout the very fabric of the universe.


Martin’s the door to the living room closet opened by itself with a loud boom as he, along with six shapes, hurled through the door and onto his living room floor. Martin held his head as he saw actual steam seeping through the open door; his vision was swimming when he stood up.

He turned to face the living room window that had the curtains drawn, “You girls alright?”


The collective scream caused him to turn on instinct to quiet them, he then regretted doing so, for lying on various sections of the floor were six women about his age, (one looked a year younger), with very distinct eye color and hair styles…along with the fact they were naked.

Martin just couldn’t help but stare, each one of their hair style’s reflected a humanized version of their manes, and their hair lengths varied, Twilight’s was by far the longest reaching her waist, and their figures pretty much reflected their personalities perfectly.

Martin then snapped out of pervy mode and went to gentleman mode as he looked away, “OOOOOH this is bad”

Rainbow looked straight at him, “What the hay did you DO!!!”

Martin turned back, “HEY!, I did not do a damn…”

Pinkie then picked this opportunity to smoosh her new “additions” on her chest together, “OOH, there squishy!”

Martin’s face burned red, “DON’T DO THAT!!”, he looked away immediately

Rarity was examining her new fingers when she looked at Martin curiously, “What’s wrong?”

Martin was staring at the ceiling trying his damnedest to not look at Rarity because he knew that if he did he wouldn’t be able to look away, “On my planet, you wear clothes all the time so you’re not naked in public because its indecent”

Rarity upon hearing this crawled with great quickness behind a nearby couch while yelling, “DON’T ANYPONY LOOK AT ME!!!”

Martin was hopping in place trying to think, “Ok girls, this could be worse”, there was a knock on the front door

Rainbow chuckled a bit trying to make light of the situation as Fluttershy went behind a recliner, “Yeah, imagine if Sortitus found out”

Twilight gave a weak smile as she looked at Martin, “He would be mad”

Fluttershy added as she peeked out, “Furious”

Rarity spoke still hiding, “Enraged”

Martin opened the door and stared straight into the angry face of Sortitus, “ooooh crap”

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!