For two weeks—following the banishment of her sister—Celestia is inconsolable. When she emerges from her self-imposed isolation, however, she finds that the country is not the same as it once was. In order to placate the nobles—who fear her following her sister’s path—Celestia forms a Legislative Assembly, with herself given sole executive power. Over the next few centuries, she agrees to further concessions, more than willing to give her little ponies the freedom to decide what they want for themselves.
It has been almost one thousand years since then and she has regretted her agreement to self-determination greatly. Her role now purely symbolic—with her power solely over the Sun, Moon and her school—she finds herself on the sidelines of a highly corrupt bicameral parliamentary system. Foreign relations are tense, resources are squandered, military interventionist policies are rampant, wealth disparity is at an all-time high, and her former subjects are miserable.
Now—with Nightmare Moon soon to return—she is running out of time to get her nation in a state able to defeat her once again. Without the resources of the state capable of finding the Bearers of Harmony, and with only a select few even willing to listen to her at all, it might already be too late.
Reminder - This story uses two systems of dating:
A.D. - After Discord - The years of Luna and Celestia’s rule following the petrification of Discord
C.E. - Celestial Era - The years following Celestia’s banishment of Luna
Strange story. Interesting, though at the same time, I am not sure how far the political reality would ever sway this way. I am guessing English History is serving as something of a model here, and the one thing that fits there that doesn't here is that the time when political power oft-passed from monarch to subjects was when the monarch was, well, incompetent and forced to cede power.
Celestia isn't, so...allowing herself to be divested of power would almost always be for calculated gain. Which may be the case here, but that's one thing you have yet to convey, if so!
5182174
I explain this a bit in the story. The initial reasoning for her "aid in governing" was that she was away from power for several weeks and Equestria almost collapsed, as such she "humoured" the nobles with a politically worthless council. Before that, I describe how she recognizes her ponies' innovations and that the more power she gives them, the more prosperous Equestria becomes (I explain this in the second prologue a wee bit when she looks out at Canterlot from the balcony).
The alternate reality here is that ponies here aren't incompetent and unruly children that need benevolent guidance, but are able to make their own destiny somewhat (they have ambition just like us imperfect humans do).
Besides, do you really think Celestia would deny her ponies the right to self-governance (or even "just" self-governance in "X and Y") if they ask for it and they were competent enough to do so? I would say she would be a proper dictator otherwise. I believe that the ponies don't in canon because they either don't have the ambition or their lives are too comfortable to care. As I'll explain in this story, that isn't the case here.
5182872
No, I think she would likely stick things to where they did wield a good deal more power. Just that I don't see her placing herself where she is completely hamstrung by regulation & bureaucracy, either, but rather finding herself a happy medium between the two - basically, think putting herself in a situation equivalent to the American President, where if Congress is sufficiently opposed, they can completely override the President.
Right now she seems to be the Queen of England, but with even less political/social power than the Queen has.
And, well, taking a different tack - if she did refuse to relinquish power I don't necessarily see that as tyrannic, sort of like how a parent refusing to let their child engage in certain activities does not make the parent a dictator.
5183157
That is exactly what I'm talking about. That is what's different here. It isn't that Celestia is acting any different than what she would given the situation, but rather the subjects she rules are different.
Ponies are bound to disagree with her on things. In the show, what that means is that Celestia teaches them a lesson and they conform to her view, just like unruly children. In this story, it isn't that simple. Some ponies might think a murder should be given more jail time for killing or a thief give better compensation for their crime and maybe orphaned children should get one less meal, after all they don't do anything for the state.
These aren't questions with definitive answers to anypony but the government and Celestia. Anypony that doesn't agree doesn't just conform in this story but dislikes her for it, resents her. Celestia wants things to remain a peaceful platonic state where ponies are given their destiny with their marks and live happy simple lives knowing their place. I just made ponies more like us. They don't like being told what they can and can't do. "You can't be a leader, you aren't nobility or Celestia, know your place" or "you can't form your own nation because you and a bunch of ponies think you can do things better" aren't rules that humans would agree with, nor are they things any free nation should enforce.
This democracy didn't happen overnight. As an example, let's do like you said, Celestia becomes the President of the United States. What do you think happens when the Republican and Democratic parties disagree with her? Does she just goes along with it (if so, then she might as well not be there at all)? What if they don't and the Senate or Legislature overrule her? Can ponies elect her out of office if their fairly elected officials disagree with her? Who do ponies side with when she refuses to step down, their elected officials or their Princess? Would Celestia risk civil war just to get her way? At that point, it is too late. Celestia must make concessions or she risks it blowing out-of-proportion. That is how her power was limited, step-by-step. Small concessions to the majority over a thousand years.
Maybe this isn't the place for this type of story though. If the ratings are any indication, it's not being enjoyed. If this keeps up I'll probably call it quits and go on hiatus for a few months before doing something else. This kind of complex political drama is too much effort if it isn't appreciated.
5183334
The problem here is that, at least in my eyes, again, it's...how to analogize?
Imagine if FDR hadn't died, and had somehow regained his vitality after WW2 in some crazy experiment, and kept running for President.
Yes, he might well have had battles he'd have lost, and times the office would have diminished in power. But he'd have had fights he won that gained equal power back. People who lost to him may resent him for it, but others who he gave victories to would love him and crusade for him.
Power can be chipped away, but it can be added to. Celestia makes a concession one decade, and then sets circumstances so it is undone in another. And the game is rigged in her favor, because she's eternal, she can put into place plans not meant to bear fruit for centuries.
Furthermore, some of the most powerful actors in statecraft are those who wield purely soft power - look at the Pope as a perfect example. The Papacy is an office that has no real army, the Church is wealthy but it is wealth almost entirely locked up in art, land, buildings, and so forth, and its economic clout is minor at best.
Yet the Pope can wield enormous soft power and in doing so butterfly effect world affairs. If the Roman Catholic Church came out tomorrow in favor of contraception, for example, that could cause massive ripple effects in that area in US Domestic policy because of what sort of tipping point it would hit.
The monarchs in the world tend to lose power because it is incredibly difficult to keep a competent dynasty in place generation after generation. Had say, Augustus never died, the Roman Empire could well stand today. Were Genghis Khan immortal, who knows what may have happened? And so on, and so on.
I totally accept the idea Celestia could end up a figurehead, but if she does so, I find it hard to justify it happening unless it's by her own hoof.
5183898
I been saying this entire time that she has been giving that power freely, but I suppose I should be explicit: "She saw that the more power she gave, the more prosperity Equestria had." She gave concessions, I never said that she was forced to do so. She would have still participated in politics and she still had political power ...
I suppose it doesn't matter now. I've cancelled the story. I guess this isn't the right place for a political story like this and I guess I have to question whether I want to continue writing as well. I spent over 3 weeks making this for nothing ...
5184876
Something like this takes time to build up an audience. It's definitely more niche work. At the same time, I wouldn't be commenting so heavily if I weren't interested in seeing how it develops, and poking a few people for signal boosters can always be helpful.
It may be for me the Gore/Dark tags that really raise the flags. I see those and expect the story to be one where our 'modern' scenes are concealing an extremely ugly underbelly that has yet to be revealed, and I imagine a lot of other readers may feel the same. Given the relatively light nature of Sweetie Belle, seeing the Gore/Dark could well be causing people to not even give it a chance. To me, at least, it immediately gives vibes of 'There's no happy end coming here', and a lot don't want to be put through that wringer because...well, it hurts.
But yea, I can't see it from within your perspective - meaning I lack the author's omniscient eye, and I've learned the hard way things that appear with brilliant clarity to me can be completely boggling for others because they lack info I possess. Regarding the 'She gave concessions' bit...I suppose there the major issue is it's kind of a 'Telling, not showing' scenario in action.
Like...here's how I read the timeline :
1. Celestia banishes Luna, Celestia goes into a funk
2. Celestia realizes upon emerging from it, that yes, it makes sense to have backups in place, puts in a backup with herself as supreme executive power
3. 1,000 years (nearly) pass by, during which Celestia ends up living within a gilded cage, where in many ways she seems to be less than a citizen. All we have seen modern Celestia doing thusfar is the equivalent of kissing babies - And that's the part where the disconnect really begins for me.
I can buy that over the past thousand years, she has found legitimate reasons to divest herself of authority. I can buy that she's accepted certain restrictions on the power of the Princess. On the other hand, the one that really stuck out was the 'But her ability to comment on matters' was restricted. Why? That's an example of something that I find hard to accept she'd just go with and allow to remain over the centuries. It's letting herself be muzzled and it's a perfect way to be turned into the pawn of another.
That's the trouble I'm having here. Not that she's divested a ton of executive power into the hooves of others, but that she's seemingly done nothing to undo the bindings that appear designed solely to hobble her and do more harm than good. To use the parent analogy once more, it feels like it's become the child has become a teenager and is now telling Mom what she can and can't do, and Mom is just blithely going along with it instead of pushing back at all.
Regardless...if it is gone, I'd love to see the skein of where it would have gone. And I don't want to discourage you from continuing, as what reservations I raise are meant to question but not condemn. The Old Equish sections were like, crazy good in terms of keeping the speech patterns consistent and I wince at attempting to do something similar because of how overwhelming it appears, and the work that must have gone into that part deserves heaps of accolades.
And, well, if you are interested in continuing at all, still, I would offer what I can in terms of editing/sympathetic ear/whatever, just shoot me a PM.
5184909
It wasn't the quantity of views that made me give this up, but the fact that almost 1 in every 10 people that viewed this story hated it so much that they "down-voted" it. I've seen self-insert HiE fics with better ratings than that.
I appreciate the advice and help, it is just that, as a working professional, I have very little free time and must carefully consider what hobbies I invest in. I draw, build electronics, write, read, watch videos, play games; all these vie for my attention. If something doesn't pan-out, I drop it; it really is as simple as that.
And this didn't pan out.
I would rather make the sequel to the Tablet of Knowledge than continue this only for a few people to read it. I won't grow as a writer by sticking around.
Since it doesn't matter now, this is my storyboard as I left it (I apologize in advance for the lack of organization, it was never meant to be read).
Agitation Arc: Celestia becomes more and more upset with the current state of Equestria (Starts 979 Celestial Era, 15.5 years starting at Twilight’s birth, Twilight discovered at year 9, Blueblood elected in at year 12)
- Show the corruption of the state
-- Aristocratic tendencies (consolidation of power/wealth)
-- Backroom deals (secret negotiations, military/industry/wealth effecting politics behind closed doors)
-- Media manipulation (propaganda, avoidance of important issues, distraction of general public)
-- Police State (drugs and thugs further forcing the divide)
-- Stereotyping (speciesism against buffalo, racism against earth ponies and pegasi)
- Show the ineffectiveness of the republic vs the effectiveness of Celestia
-- Dealing with foreign dignitaries (Celestia convincing ministers to keep them in check)
-- Celestia retaining popular opinion despite constant efforts to thwart it
-- Celestia’s continual strides in finding loopholes in bureaucracy to help the impoverished
- Warn of the impending doom, the lack of care, and the need for change
-- Nightmare Moon’s return | ignores claims as bid for power
-- Griffon → enemies, Zebra → no longer allies | satisfied they can handle war
-- Civil dissent brewing | satisfied that they can repress citizens adequately
Movement Arc: Celestia makes her move from the shadows (1.5 years)
- Celestia tries many different tactics (law, coercion, conspiracy, media manipulation) to no avail
- Using her connections to the few loyal families left (Cadence, Lulamoons, Sparkles, Oranges, Pants) she decides the only option left is to prop up her own political party (the Equestrian Labor Party) and fight head on
-- She does so, all while avoiding any suspicion by current parties
-- the party grows slowly, over at least a year, and gathers support of the disenfranchised
-- the other parties, fearing their positions, band together and try to oust the upstarts, only fueling more support of Celestia’s party
- When she hears a plot of her discovery, she puts her support behind the party
-- She does so because she fears that not doing so would mean she may never get the chance
-- This goes against the law and divides the castle’s loyalty
-- The oligarchy casts her out, but many of her staff go with her
- The party continues to call elections again and again, slowly gaining more seats in parliament each time
-- In retaliation, oligarchy calls labor party out on their monarchist ways
-- In the shadows, they set them up as violent rebels, blaming them for atrocities their thugs commit
Civil War Arc: The oligarchical and labor parties come to blows, the griffon empire plans war (1 year)
- The government begins to collapse as extremist elements from both sides try to carve out the country
-- Blueblood, seeing that war is inevitable and that his side will likely lose, decides that the only chance for the survival is to convince Equestria he is on the side of democracy and Celestia wishes to reinstitute Monarchy
-- false evidence of this is leaked (from Celestia’s monarchist advisor secretly)
-- despite Blueblood’s tactics, it is too late and he is overthrown by an enormous labor party majority (but since he hasn’t done anything illegal they can’t throw him in prison)
- The Griffons, seeing this weakness, make invasion plans
-- A griffon on the inside, Gilda, whose clan stands to lose significantly should the invasion be successful, leaks the information directly to Celestia
-- With both sides already divided, and with her advisor’s convincing, Celestia informs the public about this and decides to institute martial law and organize a military industrial complex
-- Fancy Pants is against this and party opinion splits on how to approach the Griffon issue
- Civil War breaks out between Monarchists and Democrats (civilian extremists, not the party)
-- Members rearrange into Celestia and Fancy Pants camps despite their insistence on working together
-- Both sides must make moral sacrifices to beat the other
-- Celestia gains the upper hand when she calls upon the disenfranchised Bison
Griffon War Arc: Griffons invade, Celestia makes plans for the return of Nightmare Moon (1 year)
- The Griffons make their move when both sides are at their weakest
-- Fancy Pants, realizing that democracy won’t survive the day, demonizes himself to better Celestia’s position and kill his own movement
-- Celestia, now victorious, tries to get their Zebra allies to help, but they do not
- Celestia, seeing no choice any longer, authorizes conscription and the use of dark, war and soul magic
-- Twilight leads the development of the deadly arts, discovering and making morally bankrupt spells which weigh on her consciousness throughout the war
-- One of these spells, a destiny alteration spell by Starswirl, is completed in a different way, causing the Griffons’ destinies to change and leaving them without purpose, this leads to Twilight becoming and Alicorn and Princess of Fate rather than Friendship
- They win the war but Shining Armor dies in the final battle
-- Celestia warns Twilight that Discord and Nightmare Moon are returning and that there is need for her and her friends to save Equestria using the Elements of Harmony
-- Twilight “goes off the deep end” she takes the Elements away and studies them
-- Celestia insists that she prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration and her friends for Nightmare Moon’s return
Nightmare/Discord Arc: The Twilight deals with the return of both Nightmare Moon and Discord
- Nightmare Moon returns, banishing her sister to the Sun
-- Twilight, instead of trying to defeat Nightmare Moon, join forces with her
-- Twilight was communicating with her through dreams and NM already agreed, they will rule over night and day like before, but as equal partners, in return she must use the Elements with her to defeat Discord
-- Nightmare Moon agrees and various measures are made to ensure equality (split of forces, split of workforce between day/night etc.)
- Discord returns only to be defeated by NM and Twilight’s might
- Everything is going NM and Twilight’s way
-- Begin institution of Fascist regime with secret police, propaganda, curfews and racism against griffons
-- Bearers of Harmony return with Trixie in tow, defeating Nightmare Moon and changing her back to Luna, little do they know that they were brought together because of Twilight
-- Celestia returns and “kills” Twilight, just as planned
- Celestia leads the nation back on track, the new Elements of Harmony do the various things from the show
-- Twilight writes a diary, revealing the plan and rationale
--- Necessary to ensure that the bad elements in the military are taken out, sentiment for oligarchy and against Celestia are gone, and redistribution is carried out through brutal reorganization
--- Also as a means of forgiveness, so that nopony believes her to be a good pony after all the atrocities in the war
- Twilight now lives in disguise as Celestia’s court mage, atoning for her sins by doing all she can to make magic that improves the lives of everypony, she looks out, longing for her friends
- everypony now hates her and she becomes infamously known as Twilight the Betrayer, her only source of comfort being that Celestia knows and will one day (long after she is dead) reveal the diary to the world
Other developments to be added:
Blueprint to establishing a dictatorship
-Create an internal/external threat that terrorizes the populace
--Griffons (war), Bison (threatening the pony way of life)
-Create secret prisons, with torture
--Griffon internment camps
-Create a paramilitary force
--Federal Knights
-Single out ordinary citizens as 'troublesome persons' (Redefine dissent as treason)
--Calling out ponies as unpatriotic when discussing social welfare, peace, etc.
-Establish surveillance of citizens' groups and ordinary citizens deemed 'troublesome'
--Use of taxpayer money to keep tabs on ‘terrorist’ activities (NESS - National Equestrian Security Service)
-Detain and release citizens without formally charging them with any crime
--Federal Knights stealing ponies from their homes
-Target key individuals who are well known, popular figures
--Discrediting film stars and politicians who publicly talk about the poor economic climate and the war
-Restrict the press
--Corporations control the press, especially Blueblood
-Subvert the rule of law
--Oligarches caught in scandal or breaking the law get away with it
Analogies
-Economy like a intricate pocket watch and regulation is like a time-keeper fixing the time on the watch
Random thoughts for the War Arcs
-Third party uses griffons and ponies to further their own gains?
show shining armor being outnumbered and then have him defeat them before Celestia meets with Twilight
-“My victory today will be for my sister, that she remain ignorant of things like this.”
-Shining armor tells his sister he won’t be attending the award ceremony “It’s just going to be Blueblood’s media show”
-Twilight wants to help her brother and be a soldier but Celestia vehemently opposes
-Shining Armor takes out a fortress with a hodgepodge army (veterans, reservists, all kinds of denominations etc. from various divisions) using a strategy of taking the Griffons in his army and using them to infiltrate and destroy them from the inside (he personally acts as a captive to convince them)
-There has never been a permanent peace, but if he takes the fortress, Equestria might be able to get a decade or so of peace, and that is enough for Shining Armor
-Have somepony go with Shining so that they can discuss the Griffon loyalty
-Shining frees the commander of the fort, only for her to be killed when she gets back (“why were you released?”) shows how paranoid the Emperor is and brings fear to the court (she was extremely loyal and returned knowing precisely that there was a good chance she would die)
-boy and mother (husband died in battle) approaches Twilight when she returns home telling her that he want to become a soldier and Twilight breaks down into tears at the futility of it all
-Zebras set up a Griffon territory seeking independence in Equestria but it is just a setup for war between them
-Blueblood is convinced that Celestia and Fancy Pants can be controlled
-Celestia forced to attend Blueblood’s gathering despite the fact that they hate each other
totally passive-aggressively tell each other off :P
-Fancy Pants wins the majority because Blueblood’s underlings kill and important character earning sympathy
-There is a lot of hatred and jealousy with the noble rearrangement
-The constant warfare is an intelligence drain on society (regular civilian stuff doesn’t work as well)
War vs. End War argument (ultimately decide based on public approval)
-- For - Toppling of despotic governments, centralization and improvement of industry (constant demand)
-- Against - Intelligence and Economic drain, centralization of authority and reduced efficiency
-“The Griffons oppress their people and are a bad government, while ours is elected by the people but is badly governed … which one is really wrong?” “That is not a question that is so easily answered.”
-The griffons have a young general the shining meets and looks to with admiration
female soldier near Shining notes how handsome he is :P
-“Is it wrong for me to like the enemy more than my own politicians?”
-Celestia creates a plan of planting an agent in order to instigate a coup d’etat in the Griffon Empire?
-Plan works but when the Emperor suddenly dies causes their instigator to gain much more power than they anticipated (watch from episode 18 for civil war)
-Instigator crushes the nobility and brings about a military dictatorship
-“If you sacrifice innocent civilians for personal gain, what difference is between you and the Emperor!”
-Nobles of Equestria rise in civil war against the crown for their inferior position causing democracy?
-Just before the Labour party gains the majority in parliament, the previous politicians manage to get the fascist military on their side to form a military coup (rationalize it as a means of subverting the subverters of democracy and avoiding monarchical rule)
-A leader previously believed to be loyal betrays their trust (Twilight Velvet?)
-Celestia is given the option by her advisor at one point to sweep in, kill the corrupt politicians and come in as the “savior of democracy” restoring the Monarchy
-A rally of civilians gather to fight for democracy and are destroyed; the fascist government collapse
-“You think you can force your ideals through violence! You are no better than the Griffons Emperor you despise so much!”
-“They believe in their own righteousness, the hard liners are so sure of themselves that they don’t think they can lose”
-Shining Armor places a fake minefield which is only partly filled as a lure to cause the enemy to fall in his trap
The Blood family (Blueblood)
-Our time is now! Whether we are consumed or dominate is our decision
-“Blueblood, just win, it’s what we do” (his father)
-Push ponies to go to the polls, they paid the media so they need the turnout (why would pushing for the polls be a bad thing? Why push to the polls for a 50/50 chance … unless you rigged it)
-“It’s not what you are, its what you make people think you are. If you have enough money, you can make people think what you want.”
-“There’s more to this family then you”
-Blueblood’s hatred of Griffons comes from his cousin’s death at their hand during the last war, it ruined their family (he was supposed to be Prime Minister and he blames himself for encouraging him to fight)
-Mother raised Blueblood to hate his father for his infidelity, caused him to win the election out of spite and then he “got rid of him” using his newfound power
-Infighting is the only thing keeping Blueblood’s power in check now, not ponies
-Bison defy court orders that they cannot participate in protest (flip moral positions in kennedy part 5)
-“We could destroy X griffons within the first year” “Well, I guess we’re lucky we have so many.”
-“I-I made so many enemies … they killed … they killed my cousin because of me!”
Government
-Media control by politicians used to cover up government faults (Snowden gives news to CBC, gov covers it)
-No regulation for regulation sake, eliminate burdensome and antiquated regulation, creating unprecedented corporate size
-Must undo deregulation to keep economy afloat
-Too slow, end up being forced to merge investment banks into regular banks where there is more regulation and then bailing those banks out
Well, personally I am loving/loved this story... but I also aspire to become a diplomat and enjoy the Political Sciences and History, so I'm severely biased and based on your own admission is sadly niche.
Quite sad to see it won't pan out, a darn shame; I'll be adding it to my favorites, and thanks for writing it.
Why was this cancelled?
5207039
Because my previous story (which I have yet to complete) is substantially more popular than this one, despite only requiring half as much work. Apparently, this is too political/boring/controversial to get any views (not to mention an upvote/downvote ratio on par with self-insert HiE) and so it was regulated to the scrap heap as a failed fic.
Hrm. Well, I'm generally somewhat behind the curve, so I added this a while ago and just got around to seeing it again... but it's already canceled. Probably won't bother reading it, which is a pity.
Cancelled? May I ask why?
5395006
I answered that question earlier.
5395012 Heheh, sorry about that...
I was dusting my bookshelves, and I noticed that this was no longer being written.
I'm sad to see this cancelled.
Hope your drive is better with the next story.
--Spade
Blueblood did nothing wrong