• Member Since 13th Oct, 2011
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FredMSloniker


T

Twilight Sparkle and her friends lived long, happy, and distinguished lives. Now, reunited in death, they learn the true nature of Equestria and the lands beyond and must face a task greater than any other: becoming gods to a new world.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 142 )

I'm already starting work on the next chapter of this fic, which I hope you'll enjoy, but I need your help! The Mane Six have a big decision ahead of them, and they need to make sure they don't miss any important information. What questions should they be sure to ask? Is there anything you want to be sure to consider? Call out your suggestions, and if I like them (and haven't already thought of them myself), I'll use them in the fic!

Hmm... I'm not sure what to think. The writing was clean, with a few instances of descriptors being used repeatedly too quickly, and it had an overall nice flow. I cant tell if you captured the characters right due to the fact that they didnt talk much, and you described scenes well.

But the story was rather unusual. I felt like Celestia was stating things too plainly (though what does frankness matter when you're dead) and the characters didnt get enough attention outside of their descriptions.

the ide of the mane six becoming gods is enticing, but you could easily screw it up too, it just depnds on how you handle it.

Overall a solid opener, not astounding, but good. You have writing skills, but you could definatly benefit from an editor or pr-reader if you dont already have one.

I'll track it just to see what you do next chapter, and i'll hold off on rating it until then too. Good luck writing chapter 2:twilightsmile:.
-juyunseen

Has alot of potential cant wait wait for the next chapter!

Ooh, postmortem apotheosis. Fun times. It should be interesting to watch the Mane Six's first attempts at creating a habitable planet. Something like browsing the Catalog of Magrathea while on acid.

I see a lot of potential here, and I look forward to seeing what you do with it. (Also, part of me can't help but wonder: Will our little goddesses ever meet the divine Lauren Faust? :rainbowkiss:)

23737
Ughh didnt mean to double wait

God damn. I've been comparing everything to Homestuck lately. :twilightsheepish:

#7 · Nov 3rd, 2011 · · · Elysium ·

Where do gods go when they die?

#8 · Nov 3rd, 2011 · · · Elysium ·

Interesting, i wonder what that would make discord (There world version of a devil?) so there going to be gods, COOL!


PS i pm you using your Fanfiction account.

I wonder what role they play as new role 'goddess' or what sort of power they have, and possibly the limits of their power ... :derpyderp2:

This is eerily reminiscent of the ending of "The Last Battle." Regardless of where the story goes, it should be an interesting read.

Of course, becoming a god/goddess, according to various mythology, is almost never an easy task. Looking forward to what the main six have to do in order to ascend to godhood, if they choose to go along with it.

23744 And now I'll be spending the next half hour thinking of God-tiers for ponies. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

23733
Thanks for your input! I've sent you a PM.

I've noted down the questions people have asked so far, and I'll try to get them answered, though it may not happen in the very next chapter. I also welcome critiques, though I suggest you send them via PM so I can address them without them cluttering up the comment thread. Keep those comments coming!

Can god's of other world's chill together? Can Twilight say, "Hmmm time for a relaxed day, I'm going to see what Celestia and Luna are up to" or are you limited to your own individual world?

Very interesting... a very sort of high concept work. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

Second chapter is out! If you have criticisms of it (or the first chapter, for that matter), PM me and let me know; I value your input!
I'd also like your input on a few decisions I'm going to be making for the next chapter. One is Spike. On the one hand, I'm hesitant to deprive Twilight of her number one assistant. On the other hand, if he decides he wants on this train, the cost of a ticket is preeeeeetty high. How do you feel about the issue? Let me know, and I'll consider your arguments when I make my final decision.
The other issue is how new this new world should be. Do you want to see the Mane Six making an apple pie from scratch, or should they have something to start with? Should their world have plants? Animals? Even primitive people? And should they be interested in recapitulating Equestria in some way, or should they be going off on a wild tangent? I look forward to your comments!

:scootangel: The Mane 6 is in heaven. What a way to go. At this point, I'm not entirely sure where you're going with this. Is it going to be a drama of the Mane 6 dealing with their deaths and leaving loved ones behind? Is it going to be a spiritual fantasy? Is there going to be action and some villains in it? Or is it going to be a combination of all three. Either way, this story has piqued my interest and I'm eager to see where it goes.

On Spike: I think it all comes down to two factors: Twilight and Spike's relationship over the years, and how much time has passed in the land of the living since Fluttershy's death. Spike might be an adolescent still recovering from the loss of of his mother figure, or he could be a great and mighty wyrm who has moved on with his life. Of course, a young Spike might not be willing the sacrifice the centuries of life ahead of him, and an old Spike might have grown weary of the mortal coil. The deciding variable would then be the terms on which Twilight and Spike parted ways. Was there resentment? Regret? Misconceptions that were never corrected? I don't have the answers here, but I hope I've given you the questions.

On the Carl Sagan reference: Personally, I vote for starting at Genesis, or possibly even NES. :pinkiecrazy: Seriously though, I feel that starting from scratch offers rich opportunities for humor, scenes of the new pantheon mastering their abilities, and character development through group decisions on the nature of the universe. Heck, a Caretaker or two might even show up for a bit of a tutorial. Of course, you've invoked Gods Need Prayer Badly, and that may throw a wrench in beginning pre-Big Bang, but I'm sure you can write your away around that.

One criticism:
Why isn't the next chapter out yet?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?
MUST HAVE MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once again very solid. A lot of exposition took place in this chapter, but I feel as if you handled that well enough. I feel like Luna didn't talk quite enough, but then again I'm a Luna fan and my own fic started out pretty centered on her so I guess I'm being a bit of a hypocrite:scootangel:

The best thing this chapter did was the moment where every character talked at once, where you got their personalities to a T. Of all the mane six, you most accurately portrayed Applejack.

There were no fast repeat adjectives as far as I could tell, which is a very small complaint I had for the first chapter. And I don't think there were any spelling errors, although I was reading as a reader, not an editor so I may have missed something.

Good chapter. Very consistent with what you've written so far. Good job.

All I have to say is that Spike should not join them in their new roles as gods. I have a reason, but I suck at portraying my thoughts through writing

Immediate questions that I have:

If there's one (or a few) gods per world, why is there division?

What limits do gods have with their worlds? What powers do gods have?

The whole problem of evil... (If there's an all-good, all-powerful, and all-knowing god, why does evil exist?)

I'm enjoying the story so far!

On the issue of Spike: Twilight, literally, has eternity ahead of her. If she wanted, she could wait the thousand years (or so) for Spike to have a complete life as a dragon and die naturally, then invite him to join the Mane 6.

On the other hand, stop and think about life. Spike, though roughly eight-ten years old (mentally) in the canonical series, is already intelligent enough to help with advanced research. This story takes place at least seventy years after the animated series. Would the fully-grown Spike still want to be a librarian's assistant after he's learned everything in the Ponyville Library? I doubt it.

I would suspect that Twilight and Spike still think of each other fondly, but that Spike, by the time Twilight died, has his own path and his own life. So I would not want Twilight to wait for Spike.

----------------

On the issue of where to start. You seem to have gone the way of Terry Pratchett's Small Gods or Lionhead Games' Black and White: "A god's strength depends on her followers. Whether she rules with love or fear, their prayers are the only nourishment she needs. A god without followers is hardly a god at all."

Therefore, you can't start from scratch. The Mane 6 need followers.

I say keep Spike. and Twilight together because the way I see it is that there friendship is so strong that if they found a way to stay together that they would take it no matter what the price.

I say a more interesting way to keep Twilight and Spike in contact is to have him be her inter-dimensional messenger, imbuing him with a little bit of divine power so that he can communicate across realities with her at certain times. This way he doesn't have to die immediately and he can live out the rest of his life before he dies to meet up with her again.

I say in terms of the new world, they should get multiple planets to work with, each in a different state of evolution. We're talking about a pantheon of six gods so by divvying work between them they could lord over a whole solar system and have a great deal of variety in life to work with. Some of the planets they get will already have some life, others will be barren and ready to to be built from the ground up.

Those of you who said I've required starting with followers: I wouldn't have offered the option of starting from scratch if I hadn't thought of a way to handle it. Perhaps a loan of some kind. :pinkiehappy: I'm interested in your thoughts on what'd make a better story.

I'm continuing to read your suggestions, by the way, and I'll probably crank out the next chapter tomorrow!

Chapter 3 is up (and for those of you wondering why Chapter 2 wasn't called 'Apotheosis', the word I chose means 'decision'). I look forward to your suggestions about the next chapter (which will focus on Twilight and friends getting used to their new world), as well as any constructive criticism about chapters past!

they told me i could become anything, so i became a god!
liking it so far, keep it up! :raritywink:

When I saw the title I tought it was a league of legends crossover

Like usual, the first thoughts going through my head as I read this are how I would react to these situations.
Now, as a reader, I must act you, the author, what you would do in this situation.

Hmm, I find it odd that they would decide to simply stick with the structure of the princesses. I mean sure it is what they are used to, but they could have been anything. Oh well, so it is written so shall it be. I just hope they won't copy/paste equestria

.......continue please....I need more before I can judge this fic...

There's two ways to make conflict: Conflict among the Mane 6, and conflict against something external.

If you choose the story's conflict to be against something external, it needs to be extremely powerful, far more than Nightmare Moon or Discord.

If you choose the story's conflict to be among the Mane 6, you could have different regions of the new world each emphasizing a different aspect. ("Hi! Welcome to the Kingdom of Laughter!")

Both can make interesting stories. I don't know which I'd prefer!

25370
A mixture perhaps?

Oh, BTW: Please don't make the intelligent species of their world only pony

"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted. "If any ponies see you looking like that, they'll go !"

Ia Ia Pinktulhu Pie Fhtagn. :pinkiecrazy:

Awwwww. I wanted Pinkie to look like pure chaos. It would fit her perfectly.

Seriously, MOAR! NOW!

I loved this fic. I rarely see this kind of fic come about but when I do i always love them, you must carry this thought to the end, which leads me to ask will there be another chapter and if so how many until the end if decided upon?

How did my 5.0 vote make the rating go from 5.0 to 4.9?

So is Spike going to be in this or not

Great minds think alike.

I have also been considering the idea of Celestia and Luna offering the Mane 6 nigh omnipotence and eternal perpetuity. Although, not quite in the same way.

I've made a slight change to Chapter 3 to accommodate Chapter 4 (just as I made a slight change to Chapter 2 to accommodate Chapter 3); you don't need to reread it, but if you want to, the change comes when Twilight first uses her god-vision.

So, Chapter 4 is up, and the Mane Six have run into a sticking point! As always, I encourage your suggestions, and if I like what I hear, I'll incorporate them into the fic. Any critiques you have to offer are also welcome, though if you're going to go through a chapter with a red pen, please PM me so I can incorporate your suggestions without cluttering the comment thread. Thanks in advance!

...or you could make it spherical, but the world is on the inside.
It would be somewhat large, and there would be two suns, one a normal sun and one a large sphere that changes from the sun to the moon slowly.
On the inside, when it is day, it would be day everywhere. Same as when night. The stars could be small lights that orbit the "sun" and only appear at night. To keep those that fly safe, the "sun" would produce minimal heat, most of the heat coming from the crust, and even then not enough to cause damage.
There would be ways to leave the sphere and go onto the surface of it, where it would also be possible to live, and it would have an Earth style day/night cycle. Can't forget stars and other planets as well.
And there needs to be some kind of dangers, or thing will be too boring. A world of perfect peace is no world at all.

brilliant, simply brilliant.

Just an idea. What if they each had a world separated by the void and/or connected by bridges of some sort. If the void sounds like a bad idea you could have some sort of matter e.g., air water, fire, some combination, etc. Just presenting an idea.

Interesting (Btw heres some stuff you should check out Digimon link

http://www.watchdigimonepisodes.com/series/digimon-adventure/

and may i sugest using elements of the chronicles of narnia: The magician nephew when it comes to creating the world

25936 okaaaaaaaay pinkie pie whatever you want :twilightsheepish: i like the idea id make the universe gigantic and start to make a ton of planets each with different life all using different philosphys cause a can make a world based on fear and then when they all start to meet i just sit back and watch the show of course id never let any species go extinct just suverly endangered

25982
I liked the part where you didn't use punctuation or shift

Of course, when pressed, Fluttershy will rattle off the full Linnaean taxonomy of a perfect ecosystem with everything in balance. :yay:

Your writing is superb, creative, and a joy to read. Thank you.

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