For Realzies

Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk were standing outside of Donut Joe’s after their resounding defeat at the Battle of the Bands. They had dashed off to the park for a couple of hours until things cooled down, when Sonata suggested they get some donuts. Having nothing better to do, they agreed.

Sonata was positively vibrating with excitement. “Can I get a pumpkin spice donut, Adagio? Can I can I can I can I?”

Adagio, hand on her hip, nodded. “Yes, Sonata, you can get a pumpkin spice donut.”

“Yes!” Sonata said. She then looked at Adagio with a goofy grin on her face. “Can I get two?”

“Yes, Sonata, you can get two—”

“—can I get three?”

Adagio smacked her forehead. “Okay, now you’re pushing it.”

“Alright,” Sonata said as she somewhat calmed down.

Aria looked in through the window. “Uh, we might not want to go in there right now…”

“Why not?” Adagio asked as she turned her head to face Aria.

“Look inside.”

Adagio peered in the window and her heart caught in her throat. Inside, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle were enjoying some light-hearted conversation. Adagio held a hand to her chest, inhaled deeply, and put on her biggest shit-eating grin.

“Don’t worry, girls. Don’t bother them and they won’t bother us,” she said as she walked towards the door, the other girls following nervously.

Adagio opened the door and was instantly blasted by the smell of baked goods and the sound of shitty pop music. Adagio, flanked by her friends, walked over to the counter unassumingly and—

“—hey! What are you doing here!”

Adagio turned to head to the source of the voice, which appeared to be a rather miffed Twilight Sparkle. Sunset Shimmer was frowning as well as she bit into and chewed some monstrosity that had both bacon and chicken in it.

Adagio giggled nervously, her friends cowering behind her. “We, heh heh, we just wanted to get some donuts. Is there a law against that?”

Twilight glared at the three of them as she sipped on her iced coffee. “No, but there’s a law against brainwashing the entire student body.”

“Hmm, really,” Adagio said as she clasped her hands together, “then why isn’t Sunset Shimmer in prison?”

Sunset Shimmer shrank into her chair as she took another bite. Twilight Sparkle tapped on her chin. “I suppose it really isn’t. But you should at least apologize for what you did!”

Adagio raised an eyebrow.

Really? An apology? That’s it?

Adagio smiled coldly as she took a small bow. “We apologize for mind-controlling the entire student body.”

Aria bowed slightly as well, while Sonata just stood there. “Really? We’re sorry?” Sonata asked. “But isn’t that what we meant t—oof!”

Adagio glared at Sonata after elbowing her in the ribs. “Yes, Sonata, we may have meant to at one point, but we’re very sorry for our actions. Isn’t that right?”

Sonata stared at Adagio, then back at Sunset and Twilight. Everyone present could almost see the gears turning in her head as it finally hit her and her eyes widened. “Oh, right! Yeah, we’re totes sorry!”

Adagio pursed her lips together as Sunset and Twilight looked them over, Twilight finally smiled. “Alright, I accept your apology.”

Sunset glared at Twilight as she took another bite of her sandwich. “You sure? That didn’t seem sincere…”

Twilight put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Foal steps, Sunset. Foal steps.” Twilight looked back to the three Dazzlings. “Why don’t you come sit with us?”

The three Dazzlings exchanged nervous looks, then looked back at Twilight and Sunset.

“Sure, why not?” Adagio said as she sashayed over to the booth and took a seat, Sonata flouncing behind her and sitting down as well. Aria was about to take a seat when Adagio handed her her wallet. “Aria, would you be a dear and buy me a jelly donut?”

“And two pumpkin spice for me!” Sonata said.

Aria groaned. “Whatever,” she said as she walked to the counter.

Adagio clasped her hands together and smiled widely. “So, what were you girls talking about before we walked in?”

“We were talking about what happened to the original Sunset Shimmer,” Twilight said.

Sonata’s eyes popped open.

“Oh, really?” Adagio asked.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Sunset said as she bit into her sandwich again.

Twilight turned to face Sunset. “No, it is a big deal. You had a family and an entire life set up for you when you came through the portal. Don’t you find that a little strange?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just lucked out.”

Sonata hyperventilated in her seat.

Adagio leaned in. “What do you mean… lucked out? You don’t just luck out like that. There had to be an original Sunset Shimmer for there to be a family.”

“That’s what I said, Adagio,” Twilight said.

“Whatever,” Sunset said, “my parents’ daughter went missing a week before I went through the portal. If anything, it was a blessing that I showed up when I did.”

Twilight frowned. “How callous can you be? Somewhere out there is a scared teenager, homeless, or even worse—”

At this point Sonata shrieked and bolted into the bathroom, the three girls at the table staring.

Sunset took another bite of her sandwich and chewed slowly, savoring the taste of the delicious meat. “What just happened?”

Adagio giggled as she stood up. “I don’t know, I guess Sonata’s having another stupid attack. I’ll go check on her,” she said as she sauntered to the bathroom and entered.

“I don’t trust them,” Sunset Shimmer said, “it’s something about how she walks.”

Twilight pressed her eyes shut. “Please, I could say the same thing about you and your strange obsession with meat. How could you as an Equestrian eat another living being?”

“Because it’s tasty,” Sunset said as she took the last bite of her sandwich, “and it isn’t sapient.”

Twilight sighed. “I guess. I really do have a lot to learn about the human world.”

Aria walked up holding a bag and a cup of coffee, staring at the table devoid of her friends. “Where are Adagio and Sonata?”

“Stupid attack,” Twilight and Sunset said simultaneously.

Aria grunted as she took a seat and sipped on her coffee. “Well, that explains it,” she said as she pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. “Sonata is just the worst. By the way, you girls mind if I smoke?”

Sunset waved a hand. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Thanks,” Aria said as she lit her cigarette, inhaled, and exhaled a large puff of smoke. Twilight’s jaw dropped.

“But… but that’s bad for you!” Twilight said.

Aria rolled her eyes. “Please. I’ve been smoking longer than either of you have been alive.”

Sonata shook and cried as Adagio held her close, tears streaming down her face as she tried to bury it in Adagio's shoulder. She kept whispering, "I didn't mean to," over and over.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Adagio said, rubbing Sonata’s back. “Just tell me what happened.”

Sonata snorted some snot back into her nose. “W-well, you remember that time when I locked myself in my room for two weeks?”

“Yes, what happened?”

“W-well, you know how I like to have sex with random people, right?”

Adagio hugged Sonata tightly. “Get to the point, Sonata.”

“Well, one time… I invited her in.”

“What?” Adagio said as her eyes popped open.

“Y-yeah. We went into my room, and she told me she was so excited to be having her first sexual experience at fifteen. I said no way hosay, and then she threatened that she would cry rape if I didn’t fuck her, and, and—”

“—and what?”

Sonata’s lower lip quivered. “I… I… I tortured, killed and ate her!”

All sound was sucked from the room as Adagio could only hear those words being repeated in her mind. She let go of Sonata and backed away, while her mouth hung open. Her words were trapped in her throat, but she finally forced them out. "You what?"

“Or maybe I tortured, ate and killed her,” Sonata said, sniffling. “I don’t really remember the exact order of events—only that a lot of torturing, killing and eating happened.” Sonata wrapped her arms around her sides as she cried. “I really am the worst.”

Adagio closed her eyes as she slowly pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sonata, what am I going to do with you?”

“What did you expect me to do? She was going to cry rape and have me sent to prison for life!” Sonata screamed. “For! Life!”

Adagio held out a hand to shush Sonata. “Look, Sonata, you can’t undo what you did.”

“Life’s a really long time for us,” Sonata quavered.

“Yes, I know, and that’s why I turn away anybody that doesn’t have identification.” Adagio looked at Sonata. “What brought this up now?”

“Well,” Sonata said as she licked at the tears rolling down her face, “I guess I just pushed it out of my memory. And then when they started talking about the original Sunset Shimmer, it all just came up.”

Adagio sighed and walked towards Sonata, who shied away. Sonata’s face screwed up when Adagio hugged her.

“W-what? Y-you don’t hate me?” Sonata said as she sniffed.

Adagio smiled. “Sonata, I could never hate you. You and Aria are all I’ve had for the past Celestia-knows-how-long we’ve been here. I led the two of you on a fool’s errand that led to us losing our powers.”

“But you didn’t torture, kill, and eat anybody.”

“No, I didn’t, and I’m very disappointed in you for doing that.” Adagio then pulled away and grasped Sonata’s shoulders in her hands. “But we’re going to be together for a very long time.” Adagio giggled. “Who knows, one of us might even commit an even worse atrocity in the future, and I’d want you to forgive me or Aria for that.”

Sonata grunted. “But you called what I did an atrocity.”

“Sonata, I’m not going to lie to you. That was an atrocity of the highest caliber.”

“Oh. But you forgive me?”

Adagio nodded, at which Sonata threw herself into Adagio’s arms and gripped her tightly. “Thanks, Adagio.”

“No problem, Sonata.”

“...so yeah, Adagio’s a tattoo artist, Sonata does telemarketing, and I fix computers,” Aria said as she took a long puff of her dwindling cigarette and blew out a thick cloud of smoke, Twilight wrinkling her nose at the acrid stench.

“That’s rather interesting,” Sunset said. “Could you look at my laptop sometime? I think I did something to it.”

Aria shrugged. “Whatever.”

At that point Adagio and Sonata walked out of the bathroom and took a seat with Twilight, Sunset, and Aria.

“So, how was today’s stupid attack?” Aria asked.

“It wasn’t so much a stupid attack as a… crisis of conscience,” Adagio said.

Twilight gave a knowing smile to Sunset while Aria raised an eyebrow at Adagio. “Really?” Aria asked.

“I’ll tell you later,” Adagio said.

“Whatever,” Aria said as she took another drag of her cigarette and sipped on her coffee.

“See?” Twilight said, “I knew they’d come around!

“I’m still not sold,” Sunset said.

Adagio unwrapped the bag, pulled out a pumpkin spice donut, and handed it to Sonata, who nibbled on it.

“Thanks, Adagio,” Sonata said, “you're the best.”