Chapter 10: Gifts
Luna looked at the entrance to the Carousel Boutique with trepidation. She’d been asked to come in for something called a ‘final fitting’. It was Luna’s opinion that the word ‘final’ had an ominous ring to it.
She scowled at the door, as if she could cow it into sticking to save her from this trial.
The door gave no sign it understood or cared about Luna’s wishes.
There was little else she could do.
She opened the door.
“Ah! Luna, darling. Right on time. I’ll be with you in just a moment, dear,” Rarity said.
Luna sat patiently as she watched Rarity sweep around the shop, humming to herself.
“This way, dear,” Rarity said, ushering Luna into a back room. “Please, slip this on and stand up here.”
Luna looked the dress over before trying it on. It was simple, almost plain, lacking lace and frills. She slipped it over her head and stood dutifully on the platform.
“Hmmm…” Rarity mused, placing a pair of glasses on her face. “No, no no. That simply won’t do.”
She immediately went to work tugging and pinning fabric around Luna.
“So, tell me Luna dear, how are you doing. Twilight tells me you’re still having some trouble adjusting.”
Luna winced internally. The subject was not a comfortable one.
“More accurate to say I feel… displaced. Out of my time. Obsolete.”
“Why Luna, don’t talk like that! Trust me, some things never go out of style. Things become classics for a reason. Whether through nuance, elegant simplicity, or sheer artistry, certain styles last. We don’t always even realize why at first. It sometimes takes time to fully appreciate how deep, how sophisticated something is.”
Rarity frown at the gown, her forehead wrinkling as she peered at it speculatively.
“Mmmm… no. N- Oh! Yes! I have it!”
She danced around Luna, pins going this way and that.
“You know,” she said distractedly, “so much of the fashion industry is about the new. Forget about last year, and focus on the new thing. We spend so much time chasing after the latest trends and anticipating what will be the new style.”
“That doesn’t seem like it leaves room for the classics,” Luna observed.
“Mmm? Oh. You’d be surprised, dear. Fashions seem to come around in cycles. Mmm. No, but what I mean is I spent a good part of my early career trying to copy the hottest designers and chase the trends. Awful, atrocious work it was.”
Rarity stepped back a moment.
“Hmph. No, it should hang this way.”
Luna felt a tug at the material.
“What it took me far too long to realize,” Rarity continued, “was that I was trying to be somepony other than me, but I was the one constant in my work. It was my tears, my sweat… not that I’d admit that a lady sweats. It would be unseemly. No, what I realized is that I could really only be the best designer I could be if I stopped trying to be somepony else. I had to be the best me I could be. Once I realized that, everything else became secondary. I could try emulating a popular style, but I made it my own. It was my vision, through the lens of my own experience. It didn’t matter if it was a classic style, a modern style, the latest trend, or something completely new. It was me. I can’t help but put myself into my work. Anything less would be dishonest.”
She stepped back and looked Luna over.
“There. I think that does it. What do you think?”
Luna turned and looked at herself in the mirror.
Luna forgot how to speak.
The simplicity of the dress was deceptive. It hung on Luna just so, accentuating her features. The colors complimented her coat and mane perfectly, providing contrast and depth to her natural coloration.
Luna turned and looked from other angles.
“It’s… it’s amazing.”
Rarity blushed demurely.
“Oh. Well. We do what we can.”
“I mean it. This dress is beautiful.”
“Well,” Rarity deflected. “It’s easy to create beauty around such a remarkable subject.”
Luna snorted.
“Now, now, dear,” said Rarity. “You’re flattering me shamelessly. The least you could do is let me return the favor.”
“Return the favor. Yes,” muttered Luna. “Such an elegant gift demands like.”
“Luna, I did not make this dress just to guilt something out of you. I insist that no reward be given.”
Luna attempted a smile, but only made it as far as a smirk.
“Such is always the way with gifts from the heart. Do you give a hearth’s warming gift with the expectation of return? No, you give it out of love, but one is returned nonetheless.
“I… I…” Rarity stammered.
The bell at the front door jingled.
“Oh, who could that be? Please excuse me for a moment, Luna. You just stand there, please, and don’t try to take the dress off. I need to make sure none of the pins snag.”
Rarity turned and hurried out of the room.
“Coming!” she sang.
Luna watched Rarity trot out of the room, shutting the door behind her before returning to the mirror.
“Oh,” Luna could hear Rarity’s muffled voice through the door. “I didn’t expect such illustrious company!”
The response was lost in the walls.
Luna gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She was lovely. The dress made her so. For the first time in recent memory she actually felt princessly.
She turned, trying to find a bad angle. There didn’t seem to be one.
It was almost enough to make Luna vain.
Almost.
Of course, once she took the dress off, she would simply be Luna again, and all would return to normal, but for now, wearing this dress, Luna felt beautiful.
Luna heard some polite laughter from the other room. Curiosity got the better of her.
Curiosity was always her worst trait.
She stepped carefully from the raised platform and crept to the door.
“Oh, my,” Luna heard Rarity pouring on the charm. “Such a noble, statuesque build you have. You need something that accentuates that. Something which shows Equestria what an important role you serve in Canterlot.”
Luna’s ears perked. A customer from Canterlot?
“My duties these days consist primarily of tip-toeing around that psychotic princess Luna,” a bored voice whined. “One never knows when she might suddenly lash out and injure somepony.”
Luna stiffened.
“Oh, it can’t be that bad,” Rarity admonished. “After all, Princess Celestia trusts her implicitly.”
“History has already shown her to be a treasonous murder-mare. The Princess is simply overcome with the thought of having her sister back. It’s blinding her to the danger.”
“I must ask that you not say such things in my presence. I’ve met both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and I assure you such things are not true. Luna is a delightful lady.”
“Pah!” the second voice spat. “Don’t dictate terms to me! It’s bad enough I have to come to this provincial little no-place. If it weren’t for the splash I’d make with whatever kitschy thing you make, I’d never demean myself so.”
The voice harrumphed.
“The very idea that you could know the princesses. Preposterous.”
“This is Ponyville, Madam.” Rarity’s voice was cold. “Twilight Sparkle lives here, and she happens to be my very good friend. Now I must ask you to leave. You have insulted my friends and my art. I have no wish to deal with you any longer.”
Rarity’s words were met with a snort of derision.
“You’ll make my dress, and you’ll like it, or I’ll make sure your gaudy little shop is shunned from Canterlot to Manehatten. You will be blacklisted.”
“Nevertheless,” Rarity’s voice shook, “I insist you leave at once.”
Luna was angry. No, she was furious. It was a decidedly unfamiliar feeling, and she wasn’t sure she liked it; however, it demanded action.
Luna inhaled a deep breath and drew herself up. She felt herself shaking, though whether from nervousness or rage she couldn’t tell.
Being still or calm wasn’t an option. Pity.
Luna opened the door.
“WE BELIEVE YOU SHOULD SHOW RESPECT FOR MADAM RARITY’S WISHES.”
The strange mare jumped at the new arrival and booming voice.
“What?!? I... I mean…”
“IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE. QUICKLY. UNLESS YOU WISH TO REMAIN IN THE ROOM WITH A ‘TREASONOUS MURDER-MARE’?”
The pony’s face went ashen, giving her a deathly pallor. She scrambled backwards on her hooves.
“I did try to warn you, dear,” Rarity said with a barely contained smirk.
The mare’s mouth worked, but no sound came out. Eventually a low keen came from her throat, and she bolted out the door.
Luna watched her go, feeling guiltily pleased. It would do little for her reputation in Canterlot, and Rarity’s might suffer as well, but….
“I’m very sorry, Luna. I had hoped to spare you that.”
“Rarity, I believe I know what thy gift should be.”
Rarity gave Luna a mild frown.
“Oh, Luna. I told you I didn’t need a gift. Besides, fashion is a fickle mistress. Anything you might do to try to sway opinion is as likely to bite you as not.”
“Indeed, but friends give gifts as signs of affection, and such boundless generosity as thine should not go unrewarded. Thou undervaluest thine own work. This dress is as lovely as I’ve ever seen, and I know others will think the same. I need not endorse thy work. Thy work will speak for itself.”
Rarity gave a soft chuckle.
“It can hardly speak as eloquently as you, Luna dear. Or as loudly”
“Thou art a consummate flatterer, but I thank thee.”
The Nightmare smiled her toothy, predatory smile, her eyes wild and mad.
“SO, RARITY, WHAT WOULDST THOU BE WILLING GIVE US, OH AVATAR OF GENEROSITY?”
Rarity looked at the Nightmare uncertainly.
“There is nothing I wouldn’t give for my friends,” she said.
“THEN WE SHALL TAKE EVERYTHING.”
The smile on the Nightmare’s face was gleefully vicious. Predatory.
Murderous.
Luna rapped a shaky hoof on the library door.
She tried not to pace as she anxiously waited for a response. Her shaking had not quite subsided after her sleep-induced vision.
She couldn’t bring herself to view them as dreams anymore. They were too real, too specific. They were like messages. Warnings.
Attacks.
Luna’s shivers returned in force.
The library door opened.
“Luna!” Twilight exclaimed. “I didn’t expect you this evening.”
“I apologize for imposing on thee, Twilight,” Luna said, hoping her voice was steadier than her legs. “I… I was hoping thou m-might stand some c-company.”
“I always have time for you, Luna. Come in. Spike!” She called. “Company. Make some tea. Please?”
“Sure thing, Twilight,” the diminutive dragon replied as he appeared from the kitchen. “Who’s here- Oh. P-princess L-Luna.”
“Simply ‘Luna’, please.”
“Uh… sure!”
Spike shrugged and disappeared into the bowels of the kitchen, presumably with the intent to prepare tea.
Luna crept into the library to find a minefield of books. There were open books everywhere, covering every surface.
“Doing some research, Twilight?”
“Yep!” Twilight chirped happily. “I was reading up on Brightstar’s theory of morphic memory, and it brought to mind Trato’s Forms, so I started reading some of his philosophical essays to refresh my memory. Then I thought it might be a good idea to cross reference that with Landais’ Transformations, and things just snowballed.”
Twilight hummed contentedly, if somewhat tunelessly as she moved books off the couch to allow Luna to recline.
“Oh!” she said, stopping short. “I should have referenced Lundy’s treatise ‘The Stability of Shape-Changes as a Function of Magnitude from Baseline’.
She dropped several books on the already filled table as she trotted to the library shelves in search of her prey.
“She’ll be like that all night,” a voice said from beside Luna.
She turned to see Spike holding a pot and mug.
“Are you okay, Pr... Luna? You looked a bit shaky when you came in.”
Luna took an offered mug in her magic.
“I’m feeling better, thank you.”
It was true. The normalcy of the library, the tea, Twilight and her books, it all served to calm Luna.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply of the steam rising from her mug of tea.
“It occurs to me that, despite my recent association with Twilight, we have barely spoken.”
“Yeah,” Spike agreed, looking down at his feet. “When we’re in Canterlot I’m usually visiting friends, and… well… I’m not very good at staying up late.”
“Ah,” replied Luna. “That would make my eccentric schedule problematic. Well. I thank you for the tea.”
“Oh, it’s no problem. I usually make a pot about this time anyway when Twilight gets like this. It usually calms her down enough to let me clean up a bit and get her to bed before she falls asleep face down in a book.”
“SPIIIIIKE!” Twilight cried. “Have you seen my scroll of notes from this afternoo-”
Her words were cut short as she slipped and disappeared behind the large library table.
“NEVERMIND!” her voice came from behind the table. “I got it.”
Luna could only stare in bemusement and awe.
Spike chuckled.
“Believe me, it’s worth making the tea just to keep ink stains off the floor and table. Although the one time she fell asleep on her notes and had words printed across her face was pretty funny.”
Luna observed Twilight prancing around the library, books in tow. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes mildly bloodshot, but she moved with a contented air about her and a smile on her face.
Luna smiled. She felt almost pony-like again.
“She is something, isn’t she?” Luna asked.
“Yeah.”
The tone drew Luna’s attention.
Spike was watching Twilight rather misty-eyed.
Luna cleared her throat.
“You are always welcome to accompany her when she visits me,” she said. It was not my intent to exclude you, o-or to take her away from you.”
“Huh?” Spike asked, turning back to Luna. “Oh. Nah, don’t worry about it. Canterlot is home turf for me. There’s lots to keep me busy. Besides,” his gaze landed back on Twilight, “she enjoys spending time with just the two of you. I wouldn’t want to take that away from her.”
They watched Twilight scribble notes on a scroll. She paused for a moment, looking at the ceiling in thought. She tapped her quill against her nose, and ink dripped from the tip onto the scroll.
“If you wish to protect the furniture, you might wish to give her the tea soon.”
Spike chuckled.
“Yeah. She’s already going to gripe about having to recopy her notes.”
Spike poured another mug from the pot.
“Twilight,” he said. “You’re ignoring P- Luna. Sit and have some tea with her while I clean up a bit.”
“Uh?” Twilight looked up from her scroll. “Oh, Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to ignore you, Luna. I just got caught up in my research, and…”
Luna silenced her with a wave of her hoof.
“There is no need to apologize, Twilight,” she said. “I understand what it’s like to get absorbed into something. Sit. Drink. Tell me of thy day.”
Twilight accepted the mug of tea as she trotted over. Spike slipped away with practiced ease.
“Oh, there’s really not much to tell. I started doing some reading, and well… I guess I sorta lost track of time,” she said sheepishly.
Luna managed a smile.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Luna told her. “There are those who would envy thy ability. Never be ashamed of it.”
“Oh, I’m not really…. Okay, maybe a little,” Twilight admitted. “I’ve always been better with books than ponies. At least now I have you and Spike and all my other friends.”
Twilight took a sip from her mug and sat by Luna.
“What about you? Are you okay?” Twilight frowned slightly as she looked at Luna.
“You look a bit….”
“I am well, I assure thee. I… I simply did not sleep well, and awoke feeling unsettled.”
“And you came to see me?”
“My sister was unavailable.”
It was partly true. Celestia was involved in some minor dispute, but nothing she couldn’t step away from. In truth, Luna was afraid she’d start asking questions. Their last discussion on Luna’s unusual dreams hadn’t gone well, and Luna was not eager to repeat it.
“Besides, I enjoy thy company, and wanted to spend time with thee.”
“Oh.”
Twilight smiled and sipped from her mug.
“I met with Rarity earlier today to do a final fitting on the dress she is making. She impressed me. Her focus on appearances belies profound insight.”
“Oh,?” Twilight asked. “What happened?”
“I… There… was a… confrontation. A pony of noble blood and arrogant demeanor arrived and demanded attention. She insulted me before she was aware of my presence. It… it resolved itself, but not without cost to Rarity.”
Luna took a sip of her tea to ease her throat and calm her nerves.
“That was probably the cause of my restless night,” she lied.
Luna shivered as chill washed over her. It was as though the lingering ghosts of her dreams passed through her.
She rose, dragging her mug with her to the window. She peered out into the streets of Ponyville and watched the ponies going about their business. They strolled up and down the street, blissfully unaware of the aged alicorn observing them from the confines of the library. She watched and felt alien.
“You know,” Twilight said, walking up to stand beside Luna, “I wasn’t joking about being better with books than ponies.”
She took a sip of her tea and nestled up to Luna, sharing her view out the window.
“It wasn’t too long ago that I avoided other ponies like the plague. I didn’t know how to talk or act around them, and, of course, I had plenty of studying to keep me busy. I… I was looking something up and… and I found a name for what I was doing. Avoidant Personality Disorder.”
Luna looked down at Twilight. Twilight stared out the window, a melancholy look on her face.
“I never really felt like I belonged,” Twilight said. “I never really understood anypony else, and I never understood why.”
She looked up at Luna and smiled.
“Then came the Summer Sun Celebration, and I found all these new friends! Now I know I belong, and I know I’m not alone. Especially now.”
Twilight turned back to the window.
“Not that it was easy. Therapy helped.”
Luna looked back out the window silently for a moment.
“Thou didst have my sister,” she said, “even before those singular events.”
“So do you,” Twilight replied before returning to her seat.
Luna stared out the window a while longer, unsure of what she felt.
It didn’t matter how she felt, she decided. It mattered what she did.
“Twilight, what is thy schedule for the coming days? Wouldst thou consider a trip to Canterlot?”
Twilight entered the now-familiar Sisters’ common room with a smile.
What was she going to find, she wondered. What did Luna have planned? Increasing her curiosity was the fact that the Sun was high in the sky, an unfamiliar position for it to be in while she visited Luna.
“Oh, hello Twilight,” Luna greeted from her seat. “Thy trip was pleasant, I assume?”
Twilight nodded as she headed for her usual spot.
“So… what did you have planned?”
Luna smiled mysteriously.
“All in good time, Twilight. All in good time. Some tea, perhaps?”
Twilight quirked an eyebrow at Luna, unsure what to make of her friend’s deflection. She had air of Rainbow Dash in full prank mode. Twilight sat gingerly in her chair, as if afraid there might be a whoopee cushion hidden under a magical cloak.
The common room door burst open, and Princess Celestia barged in at full gallop.
“LUNA!” she yelled. “What’s the meaning of- Twilight?!?“
Celestia actually skidded to a halt when she saw Twilight. She stiffened and Twilight saw her take a breath and regain her composure before her eyes. The transformation from sister to Princess was remarkable. Twilight had never witnessed it before.
Luna hid a smirk behind a raised hoof.
“Luna,” Princess Celestia said in measured tones, “why has my court been canceled?”
“I thought thou wert in need of a rest, dear sister,” Luna said with an innocent smile. “In that spirit, I canceled it for thee.”
Princess Celestia’s left eye twitched.
“You… canceled… court.”
“Indeed! And look who had the good fortune to arrive this very morning! It is thy student, Twilight Sparkle!”
“YOU CANCELED COURT?!?! This is a disaster! What about all the decisions that were waiting for me? The diplomats! The Nobles! What have you done?”
“Hast thou no Chancellor?” demanded Luna, “No Seneschal? No Chamberlain? Delegate thy tasks.”
“But… but…”
“Wilt thou cook our food next?” Luna asked pointedly. “Clean our chambers?”
Luna rose and closed in on her sister.
“Thy time with her is precious and fleeting. Utilize it while it is afforded thee.”
Celestia looked back and forth between Luna and Twilight uncertainly.
Her shoulders sagged in defeat.
“But what if they won’t talk to anypony but me?” she tried one last time.
“On my honor, they won’t make that demand more than once,” Luna said with an evil smile.
Twilight would have sworn Luna’s teeth were pointed and sharp for just a moment.
“Oh, Luna,” moaned Celestia.
“Enough,” said Luna gently. “Twilight? Thy beloved mentor. Celestia? Thy favored student. Now I must beg thy leave. I must maintain order in mine own unique manner. Shouldst thou have need of me… watch the shadows.”
And with that, Luna left.
Twilight looked at Princess Celestia nervously.
“P-p-princess?”
Celestia sagged into her favorite chair with a sigh.
“Twilight,” she said with a wry smile, “just for today, why don’t you just call me Celestia.”
Twilight felt her heart swell so much that it threatened to burst from her chest.
“Of course, Pr… Of course, Celestia.”
Luna closed the door quietly, smiling at the scene she was leaving. Generosity was right. Sometimes all you needed was to give a gift to the ones you love.
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... What?! Just three more chapters?! Dear lord, I know not everything is said and done but I'm enjoying this too much to not request a sequel, no matter how the ending will be.
Uhm... no.
This story is brilliant and it pains me to hear there are only three chapters left.
Loved this chapter, again. Luna's character development is a joy to behold... and the others' are also really great. And again the mix of dread, apprehension, hearwarmingness and humor you seem to be so good at.
*contented sigh*
only 3 more chapters?
Love the bit about the sharp teeth.
5299687 , 5300029 , I started this fic with a clear idea of what I wanted it to be about, and where it was going to go. I wouldn't feel right about starting another without that. Also, keep in mind I had the whole thing written before I posted anything, and it took me a year to write this, so even if I start a sequel, I wouldn't expect anything soon. Sorry peeps.
That said, I'm not averse to a sequel, and I'm kicking around ideas now that people are demanding it. I simply beg patience.
5299725 Thanks. This is the longest thing I've ever written to completion, and something I put substantial work into. I'm glad people are enjoying it, and that the ideas I tried to put into it are showing through.
This is one of the best stories I've ever read man. You really hit home with the way you characterize Luna. It's paralleling a lot of what I've been dealing for the past month. There must be a sequel after this when you're finished!
All right, I'm a pretty staunch TwiLuna shipper and have my own interests in Luna so I thought I'd take a crack at this.
It's pretty good! I enjoyed reading it, but I don't leave comments at that, so here's some critique.
On a purely technical level, I feel there are some issues, the one that stands out the most in my mind is the use of non-prose onomatopoeia. Such as
or the interspersing dialogue with
There are different and in my opinion better ways to do these things, ones that don't interrupt the flow of the story. Judging by the comments there were some dialogue issues that got cleaned up, but when I read it I didn't notice anything particularly egregious there.
On character issues, pretty much all the characters work well. I especially liked Pinkie's insight, but I am not sure I agree with Pinkie sending Twilight away for it. I see why it was done, I'm just not sure I'm convinced it was the decision she'd make. The other major thing that bothers me is Luna's speech. Thees and Thous were ditched after one episode, and for good reason, and while having them present very early on would be acceptable I feel extending them this far into the story is just for the sake of establishing a unique speech pattern. Easing that away would have added to Luna's character development, I feel.
Luna's depression was fairly well done. Especially the energy burst / relapse, though I personally am leery of the whole prank aspect. It's probably mostly personal preference - it's not something I enjoy or am good at writing - but I also feel that they'd have to have creative talents. If nothing else they have had more time than anyone in the world to hone their hobbies. My view on Celestia and Luna is made fairly clear in Apotheosis and Triptych, and I won't fault you for not conforming to that, but with some of this there seems to be a lack of depth that goes unremarked.
I feel the TwiLuna bits could use more reflection on the part of both Twilight and Luna, or at least more emotional and visceral buildup. I know I'm one to talk but I do feel there's a bit missing in terms of, to quote Christopher Poindexter, the way the sound of her name could silence her demons. That's Luna's side; Twilight needs someone to dance with her angels.
On a canonical note, I personally cannot hold with the idea of Luna imprisoned on the moon. It's minor, but it's a point - it was a spiritual and metaphysical imprisonment, not a physical exile. Again I don't really fault this story for that but it is a niggle, and I think if Luna wanted to show Twilight her demons there are far better options. The ruined palace. The memories of being NMM.
I do agree that the Nightmare is and must be Luna and no more. Luna making bad choices. The whole dream-parasites thing is a bit sideways, but all I can figure that would fit with your narrative is that they're still Luna. Her own inner demons and doubts, just as her nightmares of The Nightmare are simply her fears made manifest. Enemies without wouldn't fit the narrative, I feel, unless they were actually enemies within.
Overall I think this is well-conceived, but there are some rough patches in the execution. To really rise above I think it needs a really strong closure on the nightmare/parasites/romance triad that bundles the three together. Some moment of crystal revelation. As you say this is already written, so I'll simply have to see. At the moment I do think it is good, something to recommend to TwiLuna shippers, and has some strong characterization, but really the strongest thing about it is Luna's struggle with depression. That's got the most punch, but that punch falls off as the story progresses (as it should, a story all about depression would be just be a slog).
There is something I feel is missing. A why to go with the what. Some specific theme to tie things together, some driving question or groping at a specific understanding. A particular greater insight into people or the nature of things (fictional or real). Perhaps the closure of the Nightmare/nightmare storyline will hold that.
Though there's a lot of criticism in this comment I hope you don't take it as evidence I don't like this story or think it's bad. I think it's quite good, else I wouldn't be spending my time dissecting it!
Edit: Something I didn't mention at all was the portrayal of Celestia. It's a bit on-and-off for me, some parts I think you nailed dead on, others just make me scratch my head. But that's my interpretation so that's something I don't really want to get into unless you're interested. But I don't feel she was egregiously out of character, if that's worth anything.
So love this. It just keeps getting better
I'm loving this story, and I'm sad it's ending in three chapters!
I am seriously loving this story. As in, the whole thing. I am curious to see how Luna's nigh-...bad dreams work out, and to know if she ever just comes out and admits her feelings to Twilight.
Only three left? Oh my.
This story is fantastic. I couldn't put it down. I love the way you have written Luna. It's refreshing seeing her a bit more down to earth
5300421 Thank you for your comments. Your criticisms are fair. I've been told that my strength is in dialog and character, but I find story flow and arc to be a constant struggle. It's nice to know some things never change.
I'm sorry if you find the archaic speech grating. I did try not to overdo it, and I specifically used it to communicate something, and not just to show Luna being out of her time. It flags something, which I've not actually seen anyone get. Perhaps I was too subtle. Regardless, I can hardly go back and change it now.
Regarding the moon as a spiritual prison rather than a physical one, I actually agree with you. A spiritual prison does make more sense logically, but I find a physical prison more interesting. How do you define a spiritual prison? How do you give it form? It's basically meaningless. A physical prison is more immediately understandable. We've seen things like The Shawshank Redemption portray the effects of being 'institutionalized', or Castaway show the effects of solitude. We can relate to it in a way we can't relate to a spiritual prison.
On the topic of Luna's and Celestia's characterization, I would argue that they have no characterization in the show. Aside from being aloof, benevolent, and kind, they get no real development. Personally, I don't care for when people portray them as 'Goddess-Queens'. This might be closer to what is shown in the series, but I've never really seen it done well. I don't think people realize how alien and unrelatable this would truly make them. This is a matter of personal taste, however, and not right or wrong.
For my part, I've tried to humanize them as best as I could (as far as one can humanize functionally-immortal magical talking ponies. I mean really). They have flaws without resorting to dark and angsty. They have understandable wants and desires and weaknesses, at least I hope. This is how I see them. It might not be the same as you see them. We each infer personality through the lens of our own experiences and personalities. Again, I think this is personal opinion rather than right or wrong.
The last thing I wanted to touch on are Luna's 'issues', which I have avoided speaking to or naming directly. You are right that they have not been resolved. I disagree, however, that they have gone away or been forgotten. I would argue that they are the driving force for the story. For Luna they are omnipresent and all-encompassing. They inform everything she says and does. You are right that if she continued to suffer throughout the story way she did in "Corruption", the story would be a slog to read through. This, though, is only one facet of that illness and only the most obvious one.
I think it's obvious I have a lot to say about Luna's issues. I could go on for pages. I'd planned on doing a blog post once the story was over to go into deeper explanation, but I don't feel it's appropriate for a comment, and I don't really want it to be 'required reading' to truly enjoy the story.
I hope that the strengths of the story outweigh the weaknesses, and that the flaws don't prevent you from reading to the end and giving me your thoughts. Thanks.
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It wasn't too bad, but I'm afraid if you wanted to make a point about refusing to move on or reluctance to change it gets lost in the shuffle of general Luna characterizations that exist. Not really your fault, since you're hardly responsible for all the bad Lunafics out there, but if you wanted to make it a strong-ish point it probably would need more framing.
Except it's what this entire story is about
I tend to write them that way. Not sure if you've read any of my stuff, but I like to think I do a decent job with that interpretation.
And you already have, I'd say!
No story is perfect! Celestia knows mine are far from. I've enjoyed it and I'll watch to see how it goes!
It is an absolute atrocity that I can't thumbs up this for every glorious chapter. Someone simply MUST rectify this!!
Cap.
end " marks.
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beginning " marks.
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“What about you? Are you okay?” Twilight frowned slightly as she looked at Luna. “You look a bit….”
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“On my honor, they won’t make that demand more than once,” Luna said with an evil smile. Twilight would have sworn Luna’s teeth were pointed and sharp for just a moment