• Member Since 26th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen January 25th

DerpyStarlet


Crying is cathartic

E

It's business as usual on Sweet Apple Acres. And the days all seem to be the same to Applejack. Same routine, same chores, same everything. Except for certain days, when she knows she has a special task. It's not hard, or all that big, but it only happens once a week. Though, it could be any day. It just has to be when the opportunity presents itself, and it almost surely does.
When a stallion wanders onto Sweet Apple Acres, he wonders what makes Sweet Apple Acres Apples so delicious. They are the self-proclaimed best apples in Equestria after all. Applejack is eager to show him just what makes Sweet Apple Acres apples unique...

~~~~~~~

Written in poem form. It was actually an assignment from school, an assignment to write cowboy poetry. I thought "What better to write about than our little cowpony Applejack! Then I figured there ought to be a twist, this is my contribution to Nightmare Night (Halloween [all hollows eve]).

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )
CCC

Hmmm.

The "twist" was predictable; dark for dark's sake, it appears. Pinkie's character is dead-on, despite the brevity of her appearance; though Applejack is badly out of character, above and beyond the whole dark not-a-twist; canon Applejack is a terrible liar, yet this Applejack twists the truth like a pro, diverting Pinkie's attention perfectly. You've certainly got the basics of "show, don't tell" down, and you present the story in an interesting format; but the story being presented is simply too predictable to earn an upvote from me. (No downvote, either; I'll just leave my opinion on 'neutral').

Well, this was new. It's good in my mind, I like poetry fairly well, but I can't help but wonder if improvement can be made here.:applejackunsure:hmm. What was your test score anyway?:pinkiesmile:

Those apples sound good. Maybe appleJack was faking being a bad liar to be more innocent to the others.

5170866
She doesn't lie... per se. She more of bends the truth. And while she's the element of honesty, I like to think that gives her a sort of advantage over truth for this. It's manipulation, certainly. But she doesn't truly lie...

5169061
And Yes, very predictable.

5169761
It wasn't a test, jujust an assignment. But we had a substitute, so we couldn't turn it in yet.

5171143 OOOoooooh, I was thinking it was one in the same:derpyderp2: but in different parts of the education world, the word "assignment" and "test" was the same thing.:trixieshiftright:
Then again, I haven't been in a "official" class sense third grade. Heehe, :twistnerd:so I may be alone In that mistake:derpytongue2: oh well. Further more, I agree that Apple jack can bend the truth. If she can do it once, then the second time is easier, and the way this is going, she's been at this, a vary, long time.:pinkiecrazy: she will never fail, hehe.

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