Chapter 22: Unwanted Memories
Author’s notes: “Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.”
-Stephen King
P.S. This chapter is insanely dialogue heavy. Just sayin’.
---
I sat there for a few moments, running my right hand over the rifle that sat in my lap. Twilight sat in the chair across from me, working her magic (*budum-tish*) on the paper in front of her. It seemed as though she was going to take notes. I collapsed my rifle’s stock and shoved it in my suit coat before retrieving my handgun. I fidgeted with it while I waited for to start talking. I listened as her quill made an annoying scratching noise as she dragged it along the paper.
“Can we get on with this?” I asked impatiently “I’d like to sleep before the sun comes up.”
She gave me an annoyed look before returning her attention to the paper.
“Listen, you are interviewing me against my will and expect me to be patient? What kind of fucked up logic is that?”
She gave me one more look before setting the paper down and leaning forward in her chair.
“Ok, then. Shall we begin?”
I leaned back in my chair, pistol in hand “Why the fuck not?”
“Please try to be professional about this.” She said in a laid back tone.
“Professional is not my strong suit.”
Twilight rolled her eyes before bringing the paper and quill around and started to write again. She lowered the paper once again before lowering it.
“Where do you want to start?” she asked, looking over the paper.
“At your first question.” I said as I motioned with the gun.
“How about your parents?”
“Are you sure you want to go there?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll ask again. Are you sure you want to ask this question?”
“I said yes didn’t I?”
“Ok, fine.” I said as I turned my head and looked over a large window overlooking the city “Do you want the long or short version?”
“We’ll start with the short.”
“Ok then. I was born in a small hospital in a place called Youngstown, Ohio. I was born to Sriena and Brian Laney.” I waited for the sound of the quill stopping before I continued “My father was a railroader with a passion for guns and my mother was a stay-at-home that just passed the days along in either a book or television. I was the only male of my family’s current generation and also the oldest of the children. I was one of three children. My sisters were named Samarra and Sarah. Samarra is two years younger than me and Sarah is seven years younger.” I looked over at Twilight and saw her diligently working on her paper. I pointed my handgun at the window and visualized my father on the other end “My father always used to tell me how proud me he was. You want to know where he told me this?” Twilight nodded “At the gun range. He signed me up for a little league target shooting club and I was the best of my age group. I could shoot a bird out of mid-air with a .22 at fifty feet. He always said I had a natural talent for it. My mother hated guns though. I remember my father bought me my first rifle when I was nine and my mother threw it out.”
“I’m sorry-“
“Shut up.” I said as I snapped my head to her “You wanted the story so you will listen.”
She nodded before scribbling on the paper.
“Anyway,” I said “I continued to work on my talent until I turned eleven. My mother then cheated on my father with a woman. My father found out and stormed off. The last thing he did was look at me before he walked out of the door and my life. I never picked up another gun for almost eleven years.” I sat back in my seat and laid my eyes upon the semi-automatic in my hands. I ran my fingers along the slide before continuing “Without my father, my mother struggled to keep us fed and housed on her own. We lived in shitty neighborhoods and lived around even shittier people. It also was normal to see her with other women from time to time but she always kept us provided for. Since she was working all the time, I was forced to care for my sisters. I made sure they went to school, got dressed, so on, so forth. They never really appreciated it though.” I stopped for a moment to pull the slide back on my handgun with a rhythmic click “I blundered though school before turning eighteen and running off by myself. Sure I stopped by on holidays but I felt like a stranger to my own family. This went on for another few years before my mother and sisters were killed in a robbery.” I watched her quill stop on the paper and her look up. I felt my expression melt away to one of ‘Keep your fucking mouth shut’. She returned her eyes to the paper “I was told that two men broke into their apartment and killed them with a crowbar and I did nothing to stop it. I could do nothing to stop it.” I let the slide of the handgun fall forward with a clunk before sitting forward in my seat and letting my hands hang in-between my legs. I let my eyes lock onto the floor before I spoke again “I had nothing after that point. I became a recluse and rarely left my apartment other than to work. One day, I stumbled before a pawnshop and walked in. I looked around the shop at all the watches and jewelry before fate seemed to speak with me. I looked through a glass topped case and saw her.” I lifted up my gun without breaking eye contact with the floor “I saw this M1911A1 for $500 and knew what I had to do. I bought her right on the spot and returned home. In less than a week, I had regained my love of shooting.” Twilight smiled a bit before continuing to work her quill “I spent almost every weekend at the range. The only problem was that every time I looked down the sights, I saw my father at the end.”
Twilight stopped her writing and I sat back in my chair. It felt really fucking awkward to talk about myself. This was the first time I had ever done it. I looked out the window at the moon and smiled a bit.
“I think you might have abandonment issues.” Twilight pointed out.
“Thank you Captain fucking obvious.” I said with a little tone of resentment.
“I’m trying to help you.”
“I never asked for your help.”
“Anyway,” she said, trying to change the subject “Do you want to talk about what happened to Ulik?”
“No, but I get the feeling that I don’t have a choice.”
“Please, just let it out. I think it would help you greatly.”
“Fine,” I said as I locked my dead eyes with hers “I hope you are ready to hear this cause it is going to leave a bad taste in your mouth.”
“I’m ready.” She said, preparing her quill.
“So fucking be it.” I said as I read the inscription on the gun.
‘Everything must come to an end.’
I sighed before starting my story “After the shootout in town, I jumped into my truck and follow the instructions of the changeling I had ‘questioned’.” I said, making air quotes, gun in hand “I found their base and I was intent on making every last one suffer. I pulled out both of my guns and went to work.” I said as I mimicked shooting with my handgun “I killed every changeling I could find.” I pointed my gun at an imaginary enemy and fired.
I looked over to Twilight as she scribbled something on the paper franticly. She had a look of horror on her face, yet, she looked determined to finish this at the same time.
“Please…” She said in a slightly timid tone “continue.”
“As you wish.” I said before sitting back in my seat “I after making my way deeper into their base, I found a large group of them. I lined them up against the wall and demanded that they returned Ulik. One agreed and returned him but something was wrong. He was emotionally dead. Just a lifeless shell. I descended into a fury and mowed down the changelings without a second thought and you know what?”
“What?”
“I don’t regret a single fuckin’ bullet.”
She shuddered a bit as I imagined that she made a mental note to not get close to me.
“I’m not done yet.” I said as I spun the gun in my hand “I took him outside and begged him to show me a sign. I got nothing.” I stopped spinning the handgun and watched as her eyes locked onto it “I then had only one thing I could do for him.” I placed the gun upside my head and mimicked a ‘bang’ with my mouth.
The paper and quill fell from her magic to the floor and her mouth hung open. I sat back in my chair and looked back out the window.
“I know that you think I’m a monster right now and I’d probably agree. Truth is, I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what others think. It doesn’t matter anymore.” I looked back at Twilight and thought of my next line “What is the worst that could happen at this point? Am I going to be executed? Fired? Sent back to my world? Banished? Any of those could happen and I would still win in the end.” Twilight underlined something on her paper and sat back in her seat. I could tell that her mind was blown “Fate fucked me hard today.” I said before leaning my head back and breathing in deep.
“I-I-I…”
“Don’t need to say a word?” I said, finishing her sentence “So what happens now?” I asked in a strangely jovial tone “Are you going to have me sectioned? Locked up?”
“I’m so sorry.” She said as she set the paper on a table and walked over to the door.
“I’m sure you are. Please tell me you had as much fun as I did.”
She was speechless as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her. I rolled my eyes and locked my eyes on the paperwork. I pushed myself up and walked over to the paper. I snatched it up and read it.
Subject: Ryan Laney
Doctor: Twilight Sparkle
1:27am
Notes: The subject has deep abandonment issues and is brutally protective of those he deems ‘worthy’. Seems to be easily provoked and is violent when he is. The subject is probably going to need to be checked on in regular intervals but refuses any help due to fear of being seen as weak or ‘needy’. The subject has placed deep symbolism in his ‘guns’ and disarming him isn’t a good idea.
On another note, the subject seems to be fit for the job but needs to tone down the violence before he hurts somepony he doesn’t intend to. It would also appear that he is romantically involved with Rainbow Dash. I believe it necessary to inform her of what has been said here.
Final statement: Use extreme caution around Ryan.
Great, I’m a violent basket-case to her. This is why I don’t talk about this shit. Everyone is quick to label me crazy and through me away because they don’t know how to handle me. I set the paper down on the table and walked over to the window. I set my free hand on the glass and stared out into the night. The city was pitch black with only the occasional street lamp holding the darkness at bay. I let out a sigh before memories of my mother and sisters came back. I couldn’t save them and I couldn’t save Ulik. What kind of protector am I? I am lost in this world and my ways.
I heard the door open and someone trot in. I didn’t turn to them as I looked up at the moon. I follow every crater and shadow that the moon had to offer as the stranger had walked up next to me. I heard a clock ring in the distance as 2am rolled around. I let my hands slide off the glass and down to my sides as I looked at who was next to me. It was Dash. Of course it would be. It wouldn’t be nearly as poetic if it wasn’t, like fate was trying to comfort me a bit after it brutally raped me.
“How much did she tell you?” I asked looking down at her.
“Enough.” She said as she joined me in looking out the window.
“Ya know, my family died on a calm night just like this. It is still a wonder that I prefer the night at all.”
“That’s something.” She said, trying to come up with conversation.
“So, do you think I’m a monster too?” I asked as if I didn’t know what she was going to say.
“How many times do I have to say that you aren’t a monster?” She asked as she tugged on my pant leg.
I knelt down and she hugged me right there.
“How am I supposed to set the example?” I asked
“You don’t have to.” She said.
I stayed there for a moment, trying to comprehend what she just told me. I let it slip out of my head and just listened to the sound of her breathing. It was like music to the beast. Her breathing was like an orchestral score as it evoked a state of calm from me. Time and space stood still for a moment in-between each of her soft breaths.
“Will you always stand by me?” I asked.
I knew what she was going to say but I needed to hear it.
“I always will.” She said as I felt a tear soak into my coat.
It was time for me to set the example. I lifted her up in my arms and rocked her back and forth slowly. She had her head buried in my shoulder as I felt tears soak into my jacket. Her soft mane brushed my neck, slowly my heartbeat and perception of time to a crawl. I wanted this moment to last forever but everything must come to an end. I walked towards the door and opened it. The hallway was empty as I walked along it. Dash’s breaths had become a little ragged as she tried to cover up her dismay by burying herself into my shoulder as deep as she could. If I could still cry, I would probably be doing so.
My shoes clicked on the stone floor as I made my way down the hall. Dash tightened her grip on me as I walked down the hall making me feel almost invincible. I planted a kiss into her neck to try and comfort her as I exited the hall. I could hear Celestia and Twilight talking, but Dash was more important. I was going to make sure that I led the way for her. I was her protector and I was going to let nothing happen. I am her sword and shield, her gun and Kevlar. Nothing was going to stop me. One last image of Ulik smiling at me flashed in my mind before fading away.
I felt like I was in slow motion as I opened the door and stepped outside. The wind blew, sending a shiver down my spine. Dash must have sensed this. I watched as her wings unfolded and encompassed me in a warm embrace. I wanted nothing more. I lightly patted the back of her head as I made my way to the H2. Dash’s crying lightened up a bit as I neared the truck. She pulled her face out of my shoulder and looked into my eyes. Her lip was quivering and tears were welled up in her purple eyes that cared so much for me. It killed me to see her cry for me. I wanted no one to cry for me. I placed my hand on the back of her head and pulled her closer to me. I let our foreheads touch ever so gently as I stopped in the middle of the moon lit street. I watched her close her eyes and I did the same.
“I will be your gun and Kevlar.” I said valiantly.
She pushed her lips into mine as soon as I finished my words and tightened her grip with both her wings and her hooves. My lips seemed to communicate comfort to her as her aura of sorrow seemed to lighten a bit. I was here to share the load of pain. Her lips’ quiver died down a bit before she pulled back and disconnected her lips with mine.
“Please don’t make me worry about you anymore.” She said as she returned her forehead to mine.
“I never will.”
“Thanks.”
She lowered her head back to my shoulder and I continued to walk back to the H2. As much as I wanted to sleep in a real bed for once, the H2 was still my home for now. I placed my hand on the door handle and pulled it open. The metal hinges squeaked as I climbed in and closed the door.
I knew I couldn’t sleep. Not now. I had too much on my mind. Dash looked up at me as I peered out the window. I looked into her eyes and she seemed to understand. I petted the back of her head slowly as she lowered her head to my chest and closed her eyes. If she was tired when I went inside, she must be dying now. I stroked her mane slowly, running my fingers through it as I did so. I was happy for once.
Dash’s breath finally slowed down as she placed an ear to my chest and listened to my heart. She tapped her hoof on the console to the rhythm on my heart as I felt her’s beat against my side. I felt almost as one with her before I figured it was best that we remain two. I didn’t want her to see the things I’ve seen, to do the things I’ve done, and to have to go through what I have. I was here to protect her from that. That was my job over anything else. I was going to protect her, no matter the cost.
Her taps on the console got lighter and lighter until her hoof went limp and she passed out. I gentle kissed her forehead before sitting back in my seat and continued to run my fingers through her silky mane. She loved me and I loved her.
Nothing. Else. Mattered.
My past, my job, my possessions, my life, I’d give them all up just to see her happy again. I didn’t want her to shed a tear for me. I didn’t deserve them. I had no idea how I got this lucky.
For me, the world stood still for that night, if only for a moment.
-
The sun rose too quickly as I never did sleep that night. Dash was curled up in my lap, gentle mumbling in her dreams. I couldn’t tell what was happening in them but I could hear my name now and again. I gently pet her back as the sun rose in the distance. I had the heat going in the cabin. With Dash passed out in my lap, I figured now was as good of a time to leave the city as any. I place the hand that wasn’t petting Dash on the wheel and let the engine come to life. I shifted into gear and gave it a little gas. The clock read 7am as I pulled out of the city.
I drove along the dirt road towards Ponyville without a thought in my mind as I continued along the road. Dash gave a slight stir as she rolled onto her back, legs hanging in the air. I lifted her head with my free hand so it wouldn’t be jolted around as I hit the bumps. The road came to the familiar fork as I turned towards the right as drove towards Ponyville. I still didn’t know how the rest of town was going to react to me now, let alone the rest of the Elements. I tried to push the doubts out of my head as I drove along.
-
I pulled into town at 9am and found that all the ponies seemed to be indifferent to my truck at this point. I drove along until I saw Twilight’s a stopped for a moment. I couldn’t stay here anymore. I watched as she appeared at the door way and motioned for me to come over to her. I looked away and shifted into reverse. I cut the wheel and turned around. I then sifted into drive and pulled away. I looked up in the rearview and saw her hang her head and step back inside.
I pulled out of town and drove towards Applejack’s. I was hoping that she’d at least let me park in her barn or something. The sun was on its way to its mid-day position as I pulled up to The Sweet Apple Acres gate. I pulled inside and saw Applejack off in the field. She looked over at me and began to walk in my direction. I pulled up in front of the farmhouse and shifted into park. The H2 grumbled before I let go of the wheel and it turned off. I sat back in my seat and put my aviators on. Dash mumbled in her sleep as I place my hand on her stomach.
“Time to wake up.” I said as I shook her lightly.
She groaned a bit before sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“Come on, everyone is already up.”
“I was just getting to the good part too.” She said as she crossed her hooves.
Dash looked up at me and noticed the bags under my eyes.
“You can hide behind your glasses but I can see that you didn’t sleep.” She pointed out as she rubbed the back of one of my hands “Are you ok?”
“I’m just fine.” I said before yawning.
Dash looked up and out the window, trying to find her bearing.
“Why are we at Applejack’s?” She asked me before sitting down on my knee.
“I have nowhere else to go.” I said.
“You could stay with me!” She exclaimed.
“Uhhh, ok?” I said before someone knocked on my door.
I rolled down the window and poked my head out to see Applejack.
“What’cha doin’ here?” She asked, wiping some sweat from her brow.
“Just figured I’d check on you.” I said.
“Well, ah’m doin’ just fine.” She pointed out.
“Glad to hear it.”
I rolled up my window and placed my hands back on the steering wheel. The engine shot on as I pulled out of the farm. I drove along the road for a minute before Dash pointed to the left and I turned off the road. The suspension groaned on the new terrain as I drove along.
“We’re here!” Dash said in excitement before looking at me to see my expression.
She was confused for a moment as I looked out the window, puzzled. There was nothing there, just an empty field.
“There is nothing here.” I said.
“Look up dummy.” She pointed out as if I should know.
I looked up out of my sunroof and saw a large cloud shaped like a house. The design was extravagant to say the least.
“Uhhhh…” I mumbled, trying to figure out how this was supposed to work.
“Built by yours truly.” She said with unbridled pride.
“Hate to burst your bubble but, I can’t fly.” I said as I watched her expression fall into a frown.
“Oh. I forgot.” She muttered.
I ruffled her hair and offered a smile to cheer her up a bit. She looked up and smiled sheepishly at me for a moment. Almost immediately, she perked up and looked at me.
“I have an idea.” She said before pushing her door open and flying into the sky.
I watched her fly gracefully into the sky, leaving a rainbow trail before she disappeared behind her home. Suddenly, the house began to lose altitude and slowly began to fall the ground. In a few minutes, the house was touched the grounded and bounced once. I jumped out of the H2 and closed my door behind me. Dash then appeared from behind the house and flew over to me.
“Impressive right?” She said as she landed next to me.
“I’d have to say so.” I said, totally astonished.
She seemed to bask in my compliment for a moment before flying up to waist height and grabbing my arm. She tugged me towards the cloud home. I took a step forward and walked up to the first step up. I placed my foot on the top of the cloud and pressed down experimentally. My foot sunk an inch before stopping (fuck you Physics).
“This is… interesting.” I said as I walked up to the front door.
Dash flew up to the door and opened it before motioning me inside. I walked in and was standing in the middle of what I thought was her living room. The room was roughly18x15ft and was about 17ft in height. The room had a few pictures hanging from the walls along with a few pieces of furniture made out of clouds. Dash flew over to a nearby cloud couch and plopped down.
“Come on!” She said as she motioned for me to sit down next to her.
I stumbled on over before collapsing on the couch. I laid back on the couch as my eyes fluttered closed. I was unbelievably tired at this point and I think Dash could sense that. She pushed my left arm aside and snuggled up into my armpit. I wanted to stay up and soldier on but my eyes said no. I was soon greeted with the insides on my eyelids.
(Good chapter end music here: Zia's Song)
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Ryan's past sure was hell
,keep up the good work!
Nice chapter. Looking forward to more.
How exactly is he walking on clouds now
620892
It's a land of magic AND I didn't think he was in a good position to start asking Twilight for favors.
cdn.thatssotrue.com/2012/3/6/thatssotrue_3569_1331054072.gif
620906 ah yes, when all logic fails just claim "magic"
620931imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/its-magic-i-aint-gotta-explain-shit.jpg
620925
You final understand the concept of "All Purpose Plot Insulation" otherwise known as "Magic". Isn't logic a fun concept?
Also, who are we to claim logic when we are reading (or in my case, writing) a story about magical talking ponies? Just sayin'.
P.S. So the infinite ammunition and gasoline were cool but walking on clouds throws your whole perspective out of proportion?
i.imgur.com/Gbmzb.jpg
620961 as for infinite ammo all you need is a red headband
620959
I laughed like crazy at that picture. Yey being an atheist! I don't have to worry about the consequences!
620977 Amen.
The character's past- revealed! It's terrible, it's tear-jerking, it's horrifying, and it picks up on previous established aspects of the character and explores them, making the character more complete. Good. Now I wonder, what happens next?
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/273/136/2d8.jpg
Good job. Keep it up
620906 I love that gif.
621229 MAGIC!
Build That Wall is a good song, as is Mother, I'm here.
Anyway... Good chapter. Nice to know more of our sad, sad MC's life. Still mad that you killed Ulik, btw.
Oh, and before I forget... War Machete and Calamity Cannon are at my disposal. Don't pull something like that again...
622452
Bitch, dual revolvers and the pike is where it is at!
622465 I used that until I remembered that I fully upgraded the Machete and Calamity... I have no life and played through multiple times. Also, Setting Sail, Coming Home is where it's at, BITCH!
622514
Slinger's song is even better than that!
622523 I bought the entire soundtrack, so HA!
Hello!
I'm the new reader of your fic!
Keep up the good work, my friend.
623594
troll.me/images/the-most-interesting-cat-in-the-world/pull-up-a-chair-join-us-thumb.jpg
static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/3708997+_7b37ea925eefce7eb2685af49f8c43b2.gif
623718
I have enjoyed the story greatly
But i have no chair will a beanbag do?
623870
Would it be better if I said to take a seat?
624006
Its fine i'm just being a literal ass
624015
Did my counter-sarcasm fly over your head?
624062
Clearly outta my ballpark
“I know that you think I’m a monster right now and I’d probably agree. Truth is, I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what others think. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Technically my life in a nutshell XD
story was written very nicely plus the lenth of the story made it seem like it passed the time also the storyline made the story feel like a edge of the chair exitement and srry for spelling errors
629170
You have awoken my inner grammar nazi...
"The story was written very nicely, plus the length of the story made it seem like it passed the time. Also, the storyline made the made me feel like I was on the edge of my chair in excitement. Sorry for the spelling errors."
Thanks for the praise and don't worry about your English. As long as i can understand you, you are fine.
Dear physics i4.ytimg.com/vi/W3abMUH_P1E/hqdefault.jpg from Ryan
Sorry bro you failed to make me cry
Hehehe Fuck Physics
-steps onto cloud and only sinks a bit-
I do what I want!