Devil's Due

by All American

Chapter 13: Loathing in Canterlot

Author’s note: Sorry for taking this long with this chapter. I wanted to get all of the events from the Gala in one shot to make sure it flowed correctly. I didn’t want you to read the first half and go ‘This is fucking awesome’ due to all the buildup and then read the second half later and go ‘meh’.

Prepare for some brooding, drinking, and awkwardness; this chapter is full of it.

Enjoy.

P.S. I think I may lose some of you to this chapter but that is just my prediction.

-

“What is that?!” Rarity called out from the back of the group.

I closed the door and walked in front of the hood of the Hummer. Evening was beginning to take hold as the sun slowly closed the distance with the horizon.

“This is a machine from my world.” I said pointing toward the machine with my rifle “Think of it as a chariot without the need for horses.”

“What powers it?” Twilight asked, taking a step toward the Hummer.

I understood that it must have been intimidating since the Hummer stood a seven feet tall, five feet wide, and fifteen feet long. It also didn’t help that the engine rumbled like a factory due to the massive V8 that was powering it. I ran my fingers under the hood and released the latch. I lifted the hood up and placed the holding rod in place. I motioned for Twilight to step forward and I realized something. She was only four feet tall and the Hummer’s engine stood at five feet.

“You need a lift?” I asked as I motioned upward with my thumb.

“Yes please.” She answered.

I slung the rifle over my back and placed my hands on her sides. With one solid motion, I lifted her up and placed her so that she could stand on the bumper and give the engine a good once over.

“This is… fascinating.” She said as she pointed to the various belts and moving parts in the engine.

“I hope it is because this thing won’t last forever. At least I don’t think anyway.” I pointed out.

“What do you mean?” She asked, not taking her eyes off the engine.

“I got as much fuel as I could carry but it won’t last me through the month. Without it, this thing will just turn into a giant piece of lawn art.”

“Why don’t you work your magic like you did with your… eh… guns. Is that what you call them?”

“I’m not sure if that will work.” I said as I gave the engine a once over.

I knew the reason I was so good with guns was due to my father. He would take me to the range almost every weekend but I didn’t know so much about cars. I’m mean, sure, I loved ones like the Hummer and other sports cars but due to my finances, I could never afford them. All I ever drove were shit-boxes and I never bothered to learn anything about them because I knew it would be cheaper to buy a new one than to fix them. I cleared my mind as I picked Twilight back up and set her on her own four legs.

“Come on,” I said as I opened the door to the Hummer “I’ll help you in.”

The ponies gave each other a few looks of hesitation before shrugging it off and forming a line. The music was still booming on the inside of the cabin as I lifted Twilight into the backseat.

“Thank you.” She said as she looked around the interior.

“Scoot on down to the other side so I can make sure you all fit.” I pointed out.

Twilight gave me a nod before turning around and walking over to the opposite side of the car. I turned my attention to the next one inline and saw it was Applejack.

“Don’t worry partner, ah got this.” She said before I could even attempt to help her.

Applejack took a step back and took a running leap into the car. I watched as her front legs cleared the seat and her back ones caught the ledge. I chuckled as I watched her clamber up into the seat and give me a look of ‘I told you so.’ Next was Rarity and she gingerly walked over to me.

“You look dazzling in that suit.” She said as she lifted a hoof as if motioning for my assistance.

“I’d hope so,” I said as I lifted her into the car “I’d hate to see you disrespect your own design.”

She shot me look before plopping down in the seat. I rolled my eyes and looked at the one next in line. It was Pinkie. I still didn’t know much about this one but I could tell that she was very energetic. I reached down and lifted her up into the car and she giggled all the way.

“Did I say something?” I said as I set her in the car.

As soon as I finished my sentence, she began to make faces at me and my confusion only grew.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked.

“Your glasses, silly.” She said as she made another face and laughed at her own antics.

I took a step back and slammed the door in her face as she made another face. The back seat was effectively full and I still had two more passengers.

“Well,” I said as I clapped my hands together “You two get to ride shotgun.”

Fluttershy shot behind Dash as I clapped my hands together and poked her head out as I spoke.

“Shotgun?” Dash asked.

I brought my hand to my face and mumbled “Front seat smart one.”

“Ohhh… Why didn’t you just say so?” She said as the light bulb came on once again.

I pulled open the driver’s side door and I motioned for them to fly inside. Both of them flew up and claimed into the passenger’s seat. I was lucky that the ponies were so small or else I would have had to strap some to the roof along with the gas cans. I placed one of my feet on the running board and climbed inside. The inside of the Hummer still smell faintly of new car smell and the read outs all read at nominal levels. I arched my back and looked at all of the ponies in the back seat.

“Try to hold on because I don’t drive gently.” I said with a smile on my face.

I reached over to the CD play and hit the next track button. I waited for a few seconds before the radio flared to life with AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill". I shifted into drive and peeled out of the small town.

(Play the song. It helps with the mood.)

-

I had been driving for almost twenty minutes before most of the ponies calmed down and quit white knuckling it. The back seat flared to life with plans that the ponies had for the long night ahead. It seemed Applejack was keen on selling some of her wears and Rarity was intent on meeting some royalty. I never understood the point of royalty and the idea honestly infuriated me. Maybe it’s just all the propaganda the American school system shoved down my throat but I don’t really care.

I could see the city in the distance. It appeared to be flaring to life with lights and activity and I found it a nice change from the never ending quiet of Ponyville. The sun had finally gone down and forced me to flick on the headlights. I reached over to the turn signal bar and gave one of the extraneous buttons a push. The road ahead lit up with both my head lights and fog lights. The road was mostly barren except for the occasional pony walking along the road and diving into a ditch the moment they saw me barreling towards them.

I looked over at Dash in my passenger’s seat and saw that she was talking to Fluttershy about her plans for the night. I couldn’t hear most of the conversation but I did her a few choice words here and there. All I knew for sure was it involved a group called ‘The Wonderbolts’. I really didn’t care though. All I had planned was to drop the girls off and go get plastered. I could already taste alcohol on the tip of my tongue.

“Ryan,” A voice called from the passenger seat “Why are you so quiet? You haven’t said anything in almost a half an hour.”

I reached over to the radio and turned it down. The conversation continued in the backseat as I looked over and saw that Dash was giving me an odd look. I tried to think of something to say but I knew I had nothing really. What was I even going to say? ‘Yeah, I just killed a bunch of people and want to bury their memory in booze.’ didn’t seem like a good conversation piece.

“I don’t have anything to talk about. I’m going to a party for talking ponies and I’ve only been here for a week.”

My excuse was paper thin and she knew it.

“Ok.” She said with indifferent eyes “I’m sure you just need a little time. Try to lighten up a bit!”

She just accepted my lie. Something in me wanted to tell the truth but I buried it deep. I turned my eyes back to the road and saw that we were now nearing the gate of the city. I could see that there was line leading from the road and into the city.

“Fuck.” I said as I pulled up behind a buggy.

With that being said, the conversation in my backseat stopped and I could feel eyes beginning to pry into the back of my head.

“Ok ladies,” I announced “This is where things get bumpy.”

“Wha-“ I heard Twilight begin to say.

I cut the wheel right and pulled off of the road and into the field next to it. There was a small ditch that threw the front end of the Hummer down and then we leveled back out before the back tires met the ditch. I gave a small chuckle as confusion reigned in the backseat.

“What are you doing?!” Rarity cried from the backseat.

“Taking a short cut.” I replied.

I floored the gas and flew right past the various carriages that lined the road.

“Let’s wake the neighbor, shall we?” I said as I cranked the volume of the radio and lowered the windows.

I could hear complaining from the backseat but AC/DC’s “Hell's Bells” Quickly drowned it out. I turned my head to the left to see that the ponies in the carriages were giving my Hummer stares of both astonishment and terror. I gave a small, sarcastic wave before turning my attention back to the field in front of me. I felt the Hummer’s front right tire connect with a large rock and it tossed the cabin about. The gate wasn’t far from our current position as I neared the entrance. The set up that sat as the gate was that there was a guard on each end of the road and a large portable fence sat in-between them. As a buggy would near them, the guard would check their credentials before waving them through and removing the fence.

I drove up as the engine roared. I watched as the guards saw us approach and run off in the distance. I gave a thunderous bit of malicious laughter as I neared the fence. There was not enough room for us to squeeze in-between the buggy that sat at the gate and the fence, so I had another idea. I drove up to the buggy and shunted it in the back. The buggy popped a wheelie and the ponies that were pulling it were raised in the air and the wheels continued to move under them. The ponies gasped and turned around to see the large, black, metallic beast roar behind them. I watched as they tried to run and failed. I gave a laugh as I pushed the cart along before slamming on the brakes and letting the buggy return to all fours.

I saw that the castle was lit up like a Christmas tree in the distance. I turned down the street and saw that it was lined with guards that stood at attention. I stopped at the end of the road and locked eyes with the guard in the front.

I poked my head out of the window and said “Let’s play a game of chicken. I guarantee I’ll win.”

Without thinking, I slammed on the gas and laughed as the tires kicked gravel down the road behind me. I barreled down the road towards the guards and they jumped out of the way.

“Told ya!” I said as continued down the road towards the castle.

The song came to a close on the radio as I pulled up to the front of the castle. There was a large red carpet that led from the street to the door and a large crowd of thunderstruck ponies stared at the Hummer.

“We have arrived.” I pointed out as I shifted into park.

“WAS THAT NECESSARY!?” Rarity shouted at me.

I let out a hearty laugh before I said “No, but it was damn funny.”

“DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!” She fired at me.

I threw up my hands and opened my door. I jumped out to be greeted with the night wind. It was a cool and calm night with the moon just starting to show its head over the horizon. The street was fairly well light as I walked over to the Twilight’s door and opened it.

“I’m going to have a talk with the Princess about that!” She said in a disapproving tone.

“You do that.” I fired back with a smile “You have to admit that you did arrive in style.”

She didn’t even grace me with a response as she trotted away from me. All of the others follow in her hoofsteps except Dash.

“You want something?” I said as I locked the door.

“I just wanted to say that was awesome.” She said with appreciative eyes.

“Thanks I guess?” I said as I swung my G36 round and let it hang at my side by the strap.

“We have to do that again.”

“Later.” I said as I turned off the engine, pressed the powered lock button, and slammed the door closed.

“Why?!” She asked in frustration.

“I have somewhere to be.” I said cryptically.

“And where is that?” she said trying to pry answers from me.

“Didn’t you say something about a ‘Wonderbolt’ on your way here?” I pointed out, trying to cover my tracks.

“OHMYGOSH! I forgot!” she said before flying off in the distance.

I turned to the ponies that were staring at me from the red carpet and yelled “What the fuck are you looking at?!”

As soon as I finished, the ponies all turned their head and tried their hardest not to make eye contact with me. I shrugged and walked down the carpet and into the large open doors. Just beyond the large double doors laid a large entrance hall. The hall had a high vaulted ceiling that stood at roughly 30ft high. The hall was adorned with marble floors and walls along with various vases and artwork. A soft line of classical music played in the background as I made my way toward a large stair case. I wrapped hands around my rifle to give a little support as I made my way up the stairs. I had no idea where I was going but I just hoped that there was a bar at the end.

As I neared the top of the stairs, I could see that Celestia and Twilight were greeting peopl- I mean ponies, as they made their way toward the party. There was a long line toward the door but I just passed them by. I would like to see one of them try and stop me. As I walked along, I could her whispers and hushed voices. Some said that I was a monster and others said I was an alien but I guess I was a mix of both really. As I neared the top of the steps, Celestia stepped in front of me and cut off my entrance to the party.

“How goes it, boss lady.” I said nonchalantly.

She gave me disapproving eyes before saying “Not in public, Ryan.”

“That wasn’t in the contract.” I pointed out.

Twilight stepped forward and said “Please Ryan, just listen this one time.”

Twilight gave me a pleading look before I finally felt something break on the inside.

“Fine, what is it?”

“My guards tell me that you made quite the entrance.” Celestia said with a tone of annoyance.

“And?”

“Please try to behave yourself here at the Gala.” She said before taking a step back to allow me through “You are dismissed.”

I gave a half-assed salute as I walked by and said “Thank you, boss lady.”

Twilight facehooved before Celestia let out a sigh of defeat. I laughed as I stepped into the ball room. The room had almost the exact same décor as the entrance hall, but was much larger, full of mingling ponies, and had three very large windows stationed on the wall opposite of the door I walked in. I whisked the rifle around and let it hang at my midsection as I laid my hands on top of it. I was honestly impressed by the architecture as I walked around the outskirts of the ball room.

The ponies in the ball room didn’t seem to pay me much mind as I made my way around. I hated to be the center of attention. I just wished I had another human to talk to or at least to push into strangers every time I was asked the same goddamn questions. ‘What are you?’ and ‘Are you dangerous?’ were the most common. The last question always made me the most aggravated.

‘Are you dangerous?’
*shoves rifle barrel into face*
‘Yes I am, so piss off.’

Oh to be in the recesses of my mind.

I finally reached the back corner of the room and saw my destination. A large bar sat in a poorly lit section of the room. I looked over the area and found that tables had been set up around the bar and waiters were serving the various customers. I targeted a booth in the very corner of the room and made my way over to it. The table was a run of the mill 3ft tall oak table with even smaller chairs. I rolled my eyes and just slid the chair aside as I sat down on the floor and pressed my back against the wall.

I lifted my rifle into my lap and played with it as I waited for a server to come by. I pulled the action back and noticed the familiar blue glow from the magazine that I had seen in the 1911 when I first checked it. It had to be magic. I had no other reasonable explanation for it. I let the action fall forward with an audible clunk of polymer hitting metal. I unslung the rifle and set it on the table as I looked around for the waiter. I now knew what the problem was. I looked to my left and found that the waiters were staring at me with fear in their eyes. I chuckled and noticed that the bartender was waving me over.

With nothing better to do, I grabbed my rifle and walked over to the bar. The bartender motioned for me to sit down as he made a drink. The bartender was a grey unicorn with a fizzy drink on his flank. I guess he knew his calling. I removed my sunglasses and shoved them into my pocket where the zippo and Hummer key were. My hands instinctively began to rub my eyes as the bartender slid a large glass to me.

“I know when somepony needs a drink,” He said as he walked over to me “and you really need one.”

I nursed the glass in my hands and downed a quarter of it. It was mildly alcoholic at best. It seemed like it would fall somewhere between a Bud Light and a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

“I’m going to need something a hell of a lot stronger than this.” I said before downing the drink.

“I’d say,” He said with a look of mild shock on his face “I’ve never seen anypony down a drink that quickly. Name’s Fizzy Draft.”

“Fitting. I’m Ryan and I’ve had a hell of a few days.”

Fizzy nodded as he poured a drink into a smaller glass and slid it over to me. I caught the glass with my hand and laid my rifle on the bar.

“I’ve heard of you.” He began “You’re that human Celestia wanted to capture a while back.”

“I’m the guy and now I’m working for her.” I said as I downed the glass of unknown liquid “Funny how things work out, huh?”

Fizzy nodded as another ponies walked up to the bar and order a round of drinks. Fizzy nodded and quickly got to work. After he finish he walked back over to me and refilled my glass.

“What do you do for her?” He asked with a sympathetic tone.

“I am a body guard for the Elements. I’m not really sure if that is confidential or anything but I really don’t care.” I explained before downing my drink “Everyone is bound to find out anyway.”

“I can see how it would be hard for you to fit in.” Fizzy said, stating the obvious.

“We salute you Captain Obvious.” I shot back with a tone of sarcasm.

Fizzy gave a short laugh before bringing the bottle back out to fill my glass. He stopped just before filling the glass and shrugged. He just traded me the bottle for the glass.

“Thanks,” I said before drowning another round of my sorrows “Just tell Celestia. She’ll compensate you.”

“No need.” He said holding out a hoof “Just tell me about yourself and we’ll call it even.”

I began to laugh before saying “You just found the only way to get me to talk about myself.” I took another drink before continuing “It is my only weakness!”

“I can tell.” He said as he observed my suit and caught a glance of the mark on my hands. “Is that your cutie mark?”

“Yep.”

“What does it mean?” He said as he examined it closer.

I pulled my handgun from my coat and set it next to my rifle before explaining “These are weapons were I’m from. I could drop everyone in this room without moving from this spot if I wanted to.”

Fizzy took a step back before giving me a once over and returning to his friendly demeanor.

“I can tell you are just in your actions.” He said with confidence.

“Oh really? Did you know that I dropped six of my own kind last night to get my rifle?” I said as I pointed to my G36C.

“I know that you didn’t do it for no reason.” He pointed out.

I sat straight up and looked both ways before answering “The man was an illegal arms dealer and his friends were thugs. You’re too good at this.”

He gave a little chuckle “Comes with the territory.”

I looked him in the eye and said “Listen, thanks man. You are the first person to not bullshit me since I got here.” I held out my hand and we shook… hands? Hooves? Doesn’t matter “You are also the first one to give me a straight conversation too.”

“Anytime.” He shot back with a smile.

Before we could continue, he looked over my shoulder and locked eyes with someone I hadn’t seen. I shook my head and returned my handgun to my new holster. Fizzy gave me a nod of reassurance before walking off in the other direction.

“We think it has been a long time.” Luna said.

“Yes, it has.” I said as I slung my rifle on and spun around with the bottle still in my hands.

“Again with the alcohol?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Yep.” I said before taking another drink and letting the bottle rest in my lap.

“We think you should stop.” She pointed out.

“Never going to happen.” I said in a stern tone.

“What if we told you a secret?” she said in a hushed tone.

“Listen,” I said before polishing off the bottle and setting it on the counter “I ain’t in the fourth fucking grade.”

“We think you’ll want to hear this one.” She said with a soft giggle.

“Whatever,” I said, pointing at the bottle “I’m already done.”

Luna took a step back and a deep breath as if to steel herself.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked as I wrapped my hands around my rifle.

Without warning, Luna’s horn began to glow and my world went black. In a flash of white, I was standing in the corner of a new room with a few pegasi staring at me as if they could see right through me.

“Uh… hello?” I asked as I waved my hand at them.

The pegasi didn’t even acknowledge my movement.

“They can’t hear you,” Luna’s disembodied voice pointed out “this is a memory I wanted to show you. Turn around.”

With no better option, I complied and spun around. I was greeted by an apparition of Dash and Rarity walking along.

“What do you think of Ryan?” Dash asked Rarity as they walked along.

The moon hung high in the night air as the pair walked into a gazebo and took a seat.

“I think he is a bit brash and rude,” Rarity said “Just like you.”

“Hey!” Dash exclaimed.

“It’s just a joke darling.” Rarity pointed out.

“I-I…” Dash muttered.

“What is it darling?” Rarity asked as if worried for Dash’s health.

“I kinda like him.” Dash mumbled.

I brought my hands to my face and immediately recoiled to the nearest wall. My mind was reeling as it tried to comprehend what I just saw.

“Darling,” Rarity said as if taken back a bit “he is our guard and he is of a different species!”

“My thoughts exactly.” I muttered as if she might hear me.

“But there is something about him that just speaks to me.” Dash explained.

“Got a thing for bad colts?” Rarity said as she poked Dash in the chest.

“No… it’s just… I mean…” She said as she fumbled over her own words.

“Say no more, I won’t tell.” Rarity said.

“Thanks… I think I’m gonna try and talk to him tonight.”

Just as the memory started, the world flew back to the bar and my head snapped back to position. I looked around but could not see Luna anywhere.

“What’d you see?” Fizzy asked from behind.

“A shit-storm a brewin’.”

-

I drank in silence for another hour before saying ‘bye’ to Fizzy and walking out of the ball room. Most of the crowd in the entrance hall had died down and Celestia and Twilight were nowhere to be found. I felt my head starting to buzz for a moment before coming to the conclusion that pony alcohol was no stronger than an Irishman’s piss. I made my way towards the exit when a white unicorn with a dark blonde mane stepped in and made his way toward the ball room. He had an entourage of two mares (I think that is the correct term) as he made his way towards me. He was directly in my path as I walked and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to back down. He continued along before stopping just in front of me.

“Ugh, out of my way creature.” He said with an unreal amount of smugness that only royalty could produce.

“Get out of the way before I polish the floor with your face.” I said as the alcohol began to take hold.

He seemed to be taken aback by this statement and I wasn’t sure if it was bravado or blind courage, but he took a step forward.

“You will step out of my way, creature.” He said with the annoyance in his tone grew.

“One more word and I will introduce you to my shoe.” I said, not baking down in the slightest.

“You will-“ He began before I brought my rifle stock down on his head.

With him dazed, I brought the rifle back and swung it wide and connected it with the side of his skull. The blow sent him reeling as I took a step forward and kicked him over on his side. I could see that he had a nosebleed at this point along with the possibility of a concussion.

“What was that about moving over, skid-mark?” I said as I stepped over him and continued toward the door.

The two mares looked at me and then at the unicorn that was laying on the ground in pain.

One mare stepped up and said “Do you know who that is? That is Prince Blueblood!”

I looked down at the beaten prince and returned my look to the mare that had just spoken “His blood doesn’t look blue to me.”

I gave a short laugh before turning to the door and stepping outside. The night was still cool and crisp as the time we arrived. I could see the Hummer in the distance and I made my way towards it. I just wanted to be alone for a moment. When I reached the door, I opened it and climbed in. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it so that just the electric systems would be on. The radio flared to life before I ejected the CD and sat there in silence.

It was everything I hoped it would be.

-

I looked down at the clock and noticed that the time was almost midnight. I sighed and retrieved the bottle of vodka from the console and cracked it open.

“Cheers.” I said to myself as I took a drink.

This definitely beat that shitty pony piss. I reached over to the passenger side floor and grabbed the CD case. I flipped it open and grabbed a Motley Crue album and slid it into the player. I needed something to take my mind of that conversation Luna had shown me. I hit the next track button and was met with the song “Girls, Girls, Girls”. I gave a small laugh and took another drink from the bottle as I cranked the volume.

“What the fuck have I gotten myself into?” I asked myself as I took another drink.

As I took another drink from the bottle, I felt a familiar presence at the door. I rolled my window down and lazily looked to the side. It was Celestia and Luna in all their pride and glory.

“Shouldn’t you be mingling with guests or something?” I asked as I took another drink.

“We thought you had agreed to stop drinking.” Luna said with a tone of annoyance.

“I said I would stop drinking that bottle.” I pointed out.

“Clever.” Luna replied.

“What exactly happened with Blueblood?!” Celestia cut in.

“What? You mean that pompous ass that thought he could push me around?” I said as if I was playing dumb.

“Yes, that would he him.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Well first…”

-

“… and that is how I put that little shit in his place.”

I looked at the pair of princesses as their jaws hung open. Without breaking eye contact, I took another drink and rolled up my window. There was a knock at my window almost instantaneously, but I just cranked the volume of the radio till the rearview mirror began to shake. I knew I was too drunk to drive, so I reclined my seat and curled up into a ball with the bottle still in my hands.

-

I pried my eyes open to see the clock read 2am. I felt sober again as I sat up in my seat. I peered out the front window to see the road was completely deserted as I saw a firework go off in the distance. I turned the radio down and started up the Hummer. The engine roared to life as I shifted into gear.

“Wait for me!” I heard Dash call from behind the Hummer.

I leaned over the console and pushed the passenger’s side door open. With a stunning show of finesse, Dash flew into the cabin and landed on the seat.

“Them… eh… ‘Wonderbolts’ bore ya?” I asked as I pressed on the gas.

The Hummer slowly accelerated as Dash readjusted herself from the flight.

“They wouldn’t give me the time of day.” She said as if she was disappointed.

“Yet your friendly, neighborhood bodyguard is here to listen to all of your problems.” I said with the sarcasm starting to pour into my words with a mix of alcohol breath.

“Have you been drinking?” Dash asked

“Like no tomorrow.”

Dash looked down at her hooves before looking back at me. I rounded a corner and spotted a hill in the distance. It looked like a decent enough place to set up for the night and served as a decent vantage point to spot the others.

“Could I ask you something?” She asked.

Fuck.

“What is it?” I replied as if I didn’t know.

“What are the mares like where you’re from?”

Apparently I didn’t know.

“Well,” I said as I scratched the back of my head “I told you about being stabbed. I’ve also been cheated on, stolen from, and played for a fool one too many times to think a thing like love could exist in a place like that.”

“I’m sorry…” She apologized as if it was her fault.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t you.” I said, trying to fix the situation.

Goddammit. I hated lying like this. I was the type of guy that if I didn’t like you I would tell you straight to your face.

“Listen,” I said with a large amount of nervousness “I don’t like it when people hide things from each other.”

With that being said, Dash perked up and took on a defensive posture “I’m not hiding! What would make you think I’m lying?!”

“Well,” I pointed out “I was talking about me there but know I know you’re hiding something now.”

“Am I that obvious?” Dash said before sighing.

“A little.” I said before being punched in the shoulder “Ow.”

“Be nice.” Dash commanded.

“Back on the subject at hand,” I said as I pulled up onto the hill and shifted into park “I know what’s going on.”

I watched Dash’s nervousness grow tenfold before she said “Know what?”

“Luna thought it would be a good idea to show me your conversation with Rarity.”

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe she would do that!” Dash exclaimed in anger.

“No comment.” I said as I tossed my rifle into the backseat.

“I-I… You won’t think less of me right?” She asked is a defeated tone.

“Wouldn’t dream about it.”

Suddenly, a firework went off in the distance and Dash jumped onto my chest.

“What the-“

My words were cut off by lips as fireworks erupted in both the sky and in the car. It was like a hurricane of emotions as I tried to come up with a game plan. One part of my brain told me to stop kissing the livestock and the other encouraged it. Dash had placed he front hooves on my shoulders and her back ones on my thighs and she went at me. I gave a surprised gasp and she took that as an invitation. I could taste that she had alcohol in her system and she could likely taste it in mine.

In one burst of sobriety, I placed my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back. She fought me until her lips disconnected with mine.

“W-why did you stop?” She said as a tear began to well up in her eye.

I had no. fucking. clue. What to do.

“I-I have a problem with this.”

“What is it?” she asked as if she could fix the problem.

“Have you noticed that I’m human lately?” I said as I pointed to my face with my left hand.

“So? I’ve seen all kinds of inter-species relationships.” She said as she tried to give me an argument.

“Yeah, but on my planet, it’s just us. We are the only sentient species.” I pointed out.

“You mean you’re all alone?” She asked as if I was missing out on something.

“Yeah. That’s just the way things are.” I said “It’s not that I don’t like you, but we are both drunk and I think this should wait till we’re sober.”

“I-I-I-“

“Just let it be.”

“I almost had you.” She said as her competitive nature began to show through.

“Almost.”

I turned off the radio and watched the fireworks through the windshield as Dash curled up on my chest.

“Where are the rest of your friends?” I asked since we would have to head back to home base soon.

“They left.” She replied.

“They left?” I asked in a little bit of shock “I thought they would have stayed longer than this.”

“I asked them to.” She explained as a large rocket burst in the sky, giving off a radiant shower of green light.

“Why?”

“So I could talk to you.” She said as she looked back at me and gave a soft smile.

“Wow.” I said as I gave a series of soft claps “You got guts.”

She could only smile sheepishly before returning her head to my chest and watched the fireworks with me in silence.

-

It was almost an hour and forty five minutes before the fireworks had finally ended. I looked down to see that Dash was still awake on my chest, but only barely. I reclined my seat and opened the sun roof. I could see the stars handing in the night sky ever so, but this time they weren’t mocking me. They were congratulating me.

Dash rolled onto her back and stared at the night star with me for a moment before saying “Do you ever wish you could go back to your world?”

“I used to.” I said with a tone of assuredness.

She looked up at me as I craned my neck and she gave me a soft smile before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. I laid my head back down on the seat and stared into the night sky. What the fuck had my life come to?

My mind was at war with itself as I closed my eyes and tried let my worries fade away.

Comments

[Dancing Dead]

PULL THA TRIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
and the Dash shipping is nice. YAYUH.

[Alex Wadegrove]

And there's the shipping. Hope you have flame shield...
(Great chapter btw)
EDIT: Surprisingly positive feedback to the shipping. Although I can't see any of those realists around. I guess you assumed correctly about losing a few readers.

Oh well...

Their loss.

[PoisonSt]

I'm okay with that, and Dash is only one that can actually be shipped in this case.
Keep it up.

[Rarelygood]

Yay another great chapter. Good job. I approve of this

[bucknorris]

Sweet

Edit 10/05/2012: The hummer needs to morph like the guns so he can keep using it.

[shirotora]

Ryan, you lucky sum b***h, you.

P.S. does anyone else read Ryan with Max Paine's voice?

[Almasy]

Awesome,never saw it coming. I approve 120% Keep going dude!

[EvilEnchantress]

god damn it any chance some one can point me towards a good hie fic that doesnt have shipping (american ill continue to read this I just need to read one with out ship)

[billbob12345]

Noooo shipping......

[Liaf112]

I thinks its cool

[All American]

572949

It's a semiautomatic sir.

Kinda looks like this in my head:
thetruthaboutguns.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Sheriff-Jims-custom-Colt.jpg

[Petro]

I'm OK with this.

[Heavy Weapons Guy]

You said that you might lose a few viewers with this chapter, However, I think that is not the case. Heavy's interest in this story has just grew Twofold! I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR NEXT CHAPTER!

[Kitsuneisuki]

573406 Y u no pick MP5/G53? D:

[Olpoe]

I think this is pretty good.
Makes me chuckle.
.....
....
....
That's a good thing?
....
....
....
Right?

[Flutterpoof]

Dash shipping is best shipping. Continue, please

[saxon]

[Gaz1997]

I SUPPORT THE SHIPPING!!!!!!!!!

[Thule]

“What’d you see?” Fizzy asked from behind.

“A shit-storm a brewin’.”

Literally rolled of my bed when I read that!

[Menoshe]

“A shit-storm a brewin’.”

osborneink.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/super-clap.gif

[MicroUltraMad]

572371
ARE YOU FROM THE FUTURE?
O wait... stupid 10 and 5 switching on me...stupid american/british differences.

[Warren Peace]

"I knew the reason I was so good with guns was due to my father. He would take me to the range almost every weekend" You lucky sonofabitch

[Warren Peace]

Nice one with BlueBlood. I hate that douche.

[granitecrab]

'Dash rolled onto her back and stared at the night star with me for a moment before saying “Do you ever wish you could go back to your world?” “I used to.” I said with a tone of assuredness.'

that hit me in the feels so hard.

[Shadow-Dancer]

691043 don't we all

[Stereoshock]

573515 I agree with this shaved Russian bear of a man. Let us enjoy a sandwich together my friend. I must learn your recipe

[Doctor REDACTED]

Ah, ah no! Nooo! Call me a bloody fuckin prude but damnnation, another story with HumanxPony?