Trixie vs. Sonata: Battle of the Last Taco! (Edited: 3/25/18)
It was lunchtime in the Cafeteria of Canterlot High. Many of the students were already sitting at their tables, eating and interacting with their friends. Some were still standing in line, waiting to get their food.
Sonata Dusk was anxiously, yet eagerly, waiting in a line for what seems like it was fifteen minutes, maybe even more. She hoped that the cafeteria would still have that certain food available that she had wanted since last week before she and her two best friends attempted to take over this world with their singing.
Too bad it ended so badly for them.
It had been a rough week for Sonata and her sisters since the night they were defeated by the Rainbooms and lost their powers. They couldn’t sing like they used to, which means they can no longer gain magic by feeding off the students’ negativity. Worse of all, every time she and her sisters walked around the school, they would get nasty glares and whispers from the other students. Adagio Dazzle declared that they should leave Canterlot High and hide out in another location so they can plan out their next plot. Sonata however begged both of her sisters to stay for another few days until the day she gets her hands on that meaty, cheesy, spicy, crunchy goodness treat… tacos.
Well, what do ya know! This day happened to be Taco Tuesday!
It was difficult to convince the leader of the Dazzlings to give her more time, especially with Aria Blaze teaming up with Adagio to give Sonata a long list of reasons why it was a stupid idea to stay in school with everyone remembering of what they did throughout the Battle of the Bands. After many hours of Sonata’s begging, her sisters finally agreed to stay for a few more days. However, they warned her that after Taco Tuesday, they will leave the school immediately, whether Sonata gets her taco or not!
This was why she was on line right now, waiting for that delicious taco that she hungers for. She was determined to get what she came for and will not leave the cafeteria empty handed… if only the line did not take so long!
Many minutes had gone by as the line slowly moves closer to her destination. The longer it takes for Sonata to wait for her food, the more anxious and hungry she’ll felt. She couldn’t help but watched helplessly as the other students each taking one or two tacos from the big piles of tacos from the counter. She got more and more nervous as the big pile of tacos got smaller by the second. She was starting to lose hope of ever getting that taco that she desperately wanted. Sonata was tempted to just cut in line and ran off with dozens of tacos in her arms, but she did not want to cause an angry mob of students chasing after her for stealing the tacos, especially the fact that she and her sisters are now the most hated students in school. The last thing she needed was to get beat up from the students for stealing their food… and than get beat up again by her sisters for putting them all in danger.
Finally, after about a half hour of waiting on line, it was finally her turn. As Sonata approached the counter, she discovered to her horror that all of the trays where the tacos supposed to be were empty… except for one. There was only one last taco remain in one of the serving trays.
The taco itself had a rich meaty ground beef, lightly covered in sour cream with freshly chopped lettuce, tomatoes, and onions on top, and finally, mixed of cheddar and mozzarella cheese on the top of the other ingredients. All packed in a U-shape crisp-fried corn tortilla… just as Sonata imagined. Sonata squeed at the sight of that taco and her mouth began to water.
At last, she thought, After so many days of waiting, I can finally eat that taco!
With a huge smile on her face, Sonata reached out to take that taco from the serving tray. As Sonata’s hand touched the taco, another hand touched the taco at the same time as hers. When Sonata looked up to see whose hand belonged too, she saw another girl that for some reason looked very… familiar to her.
This girl has cyan skin with white hair, and purple eyes. She has a purple star with yellow outline on her hair. She was wearing a purple dress with a dark blue jacket with yellow waistband and cuffs over it. Both the jacket and the dress are covered with stars and magic dust including a wand over the half moon emblem on the side of her dress. She was also wearing long dark blue boots with purple and yellow-line cuffs, purple soles and yellow star at the front of each boot.
Whoever this girl was, she did not looked happy to see Sonata.
“YOU!” the cyan girl shouted.
Sonata looked around her for a moment and then pointed to herself.
“Who me?”
“Yes you! You and your sisters were the ones who tricked the Great and Powerful Trixie!” yelled Trixie while pointing at Sonata. “Thanks to you, Trixie was mocked by everyone in school for being used as a tool to you three. Worse of all, Vice Principle Luna sentenced Trixie to clean the entire stage with a toothbrush, all because Trixie shoved the Rainbooms to the bottom of the stage just so they can’t compete!”
Sonata looked confused for a moment until her brain finally clicked as her memories from last week was coming back to her.
“Oh yeah, now I remember you! My sisters and I “influenced” you to trap those girls to the bottom of that stage... oh... and you didn’t shove them, you pulled the lever!”
Trixie’s left eye twitched repeatably from Sonata’s response.
“That’s not the point!” Trixie screamed, “The point is, you and your sisters will pay for making a mockery out of Trixie!”
Many students at this point, gathered around the two girls to see the commotion due to Trixie’s screaming.
“Listen, I know you’re angry and all, but can I pay you back for whatever later? I really wanted to pay for this taco first. I’ve been dying to try them since I entered this school a week ago!” said Sonata.
“Oh no you don’t!” Trixie shouted, “Trixie got this taco first!”
“But this taco is mine!” Sonata argued.
“The only thing this taco belongs to is for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” said Trixie.
“Last time I checked, your name isn’t anywhere on this taco Bixie!” said Sonata.
“It’s Trixie you twit!” Trixie yelled.
Sonata looked confused, “No I’m Sonata!”
Sonata turned and pointed at the table across from them. “Twist is over at that table!”
The girl with curly red hair with pink eyes, who was wearing a pink shirt with two peppermints emblem on it, purple skirt and glasses looked up.
“Did someone mention my name?”
Trixie turned towards Twist with a look of anger. “NO! NO ONE MENTIONS YOU AT ALL!”
Twist recoiled and whimpered in fear.
After an uncomfortable silence, Sonata spoke up. “Sooooo can I have that taco now Nixie?”
Trixie turned back to Sonata while her left eye twitched repeatably again.
“IT’S TRIXIE! The Great and Powerful TRIXIE!” Trixie yelled.
Trixie then calmed herself down by performing her breathing exercise.
“And the answer to your question… yes, you can have that taco.” Trixie said sarcastically.
Sonata smiled. “For realsies?”
“NO!!! YOU ARE NOT GETTING THAT TACO!” Trixie screamed.
Sonata frowned. “Aw, come on! I’ve been waiting to get this taco all week! I’m not leaving without it! Besides, you were cutting in line!”
Trixie smirked arrogantly. “The Great and Powerful Trixie, does not wait in lines! Trixie can get Trixie’s food anytime Trixie wants, no matter who Trixie cuts, especially you! You stupid, pathetic, has-been singer who got her butt kicked by the Rainbooms! You couldn’t even sing a single tune right since then… you loser!”
The whole cafeteria was dead silent after Trixie’s insulting rant and no one dared to make a sound, not even to breathe. Sonata stared at Trixie with a shocked expression. The two sisters had talked down on Sonata many times before, but even they would never say anything that cruel to her! Worse of all, everything Trixie had just said was true… and that hurts her. She may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but she still has feelings. Sonata’s eyes began to water.
Trixie noticed Sonata’s sad state and decided to mock her.
“Aw… what’s wrong? Did Trixie hurt your widdle feelings?”
Trixie laughed at her and then changed to her serious expression.
“Let’s face it, everyone hates you and your sisters now! The three of you might as well leave this school and never come back! You don’t deserve to be here, you don’t deserve to be anyone’s friend and you… definitely don’t deserve to eat this taco! Only the best of the best deserves the best tasting taco in Canterlot High! And that person… is TRIXIE!”
Sonata’s expression changed from sadness to anger at Trixie’s words. While Sonata and her sisters did deserved to be hated for what they did a week ago, but Sonata won’t let this so-called showgirl talk down on her and take away her taco!
“You think you’re better than everyone here in this school? Even during the battle of the bands?” asked Sonata. “The only reason why YOU made it so far was because of our magic! WE put you into the finals because WE man-it-pew… man-ip-plu…man-it-beu…”
“Manipulated?” the boy with a blue hair offered.
“Yes, that's the word! Ma-nip-u-lated!” Sonata cheered happily. “Thanks Brad!”
"...It's Flash!" he responded flatly.
Sonata ignored him as she turned to Trixie and changed her expression to her anger mode again. “WE made you into the finals because WE… Ma-nip-u-lated you to trap the Rainbooms by pulling the lever (not pushing) to the bottom of the stage! We would’ve succeed with taking over the world thing but… It didn’t work out for us! The point is… if it weren’t for US, you probably wouldn’t have made it to round two!”
Everyone in the cafeteria gasped at Sonata’s bold words. They all knew that if anyone ever dared to insult Trixie’s pride, then things are about to get ugly. Sure enough, Trixie’s face was all red with anger from Sonata’s words.
“You DARE mocked the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie growled.
Sonata glared back at Trixie. “What are you going to do about it… The LAME and UNpowerful Bixie?”
Trixie had just reached her boiling point. Trixie grabbed a piece of cherry pie from someone’s tray from behind her.
“IT’s TRIXIE!!!!!” Trixie shouted as she threw the piece of cheery pie at Sonata and it hits her squarely on Sonata’s face.
Everyone gasped at what Trixie had done and then set their eyes on Sonata, waiting to see what happens next.
Sonata just stared at Trixie with a stunned expression, as the cherry substance from the pie dripped off of her face. Sonata slowly placed her pointer finger on her cherry-face to take a sample of the cherry substance and then placed her pointer finger in her mouth to taste it.
She gagged in disgust.
She hated cherries!
Sonata’s eyes narrowed at Trixie.
“Of course you know this means war!” said Sonata in a low voice.
Without taking her eyes off of Trixie, Sonata took the plate of spaghetti with marinara sauce off of someone else’s tray. She calmly walked up to Trixie and then slammed the plate of spaghetti on top of Trixie’s hair.
The crowd gasped again. The war between the two girls had truly begun. Most of the students watched the two girls tensely while some others were already placing bets on who will win this "fight."
Trixie screamed in horror as she looked up to the top of her head as spaghetti and sauce were dripping from her hair. Trixie clenched her teeth in anger and glared at Sonata.
“You think you can beat Trixie?” Trixie growled.
Trixie quickly took a cup of pudding from another student’s tray and then dumped the pudding all over Sonata’s hair.
“Think again!” Trixie shouted.
The crowd gasped after Trixie covered Sonata hair with pudding and then shifted their eyes at Sonata.
Sonata appeared to be unfazed from what Trixie had done to her hair. Sonata slowly took a handful of mashed potatoes from another tray and splatted it all over Trixie’s jacket and dress.
The crowd gasped again and then turned their gaze at Trixie.
Trixie was furious at Sonata for further dirtying her outfit. Not backing down, Trixie snatched a corn dog with mustard from a different tray and smudged it all over Sonata’s dress.
The crowd gasped once again from Trixie’s actions and then focused their attention back to Sonata.
Sonata, who was still unfazed, took a slice of pizza and then threw it at Trixie’s face.
The crowd gasped once again and then turned to watch Trixie.
After a slice of pizza slided off of Trixie’s irritating looking face, Trixie took a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, separated the two breads and then pressed them against Sonata’s dress.
Once again, the crowd gasped and shifted their eyes back at Sonata.
Still unfazed, Sonata took a banana from another student’s tray and slowly peeled the skin off of the banana. When she finished peeling the banana, she shoved the whole banana in Trixie’s mouth up to the point that it looked like Trixie was smiling.
All the students laughed at the sight of Trixie’s banana-smiling face, until they stopped the moment when Trixie spits out the banana and then glared at the crowd. Trixie turned back towards Sonata with a look of hatred. Trixie never felt so humiliated in her entire life. The only thing that crossed her mind was to make that air-headed siren suffer big time.
While her eyes locked on to Sonata’s, Trixie took another food from another tray. The food that Trixie took appeared to be some kind of mystery meat. That meat was very slimy and smelly and it was brown with green spots all over the meat. Trixie doesn’t even want to know what it was or where it came from, but she figured that it was perfect for the job. Without hesitation, Trixie threw the meat at Sonata, intending to hit Sonata right in her face. Sonata, who predicted Trixie’s intension with the meat, ducked down at the last second and the meat flew over her head.
“FOOD FIGHT!” One of the male students shouted out suddenly before he got hit in the face with that same meat.
Within seconds, the whole cafeteria was now in chaos as many different kinds of food was thrown everywhere across the room.
The grey sophisticated girl with black hair, pink eyes and wore a pink bow-tie on her neck, shrieked as her crazy blue-haired, dubstep-loving friend with purple sunglasses, dumped a glass of milkshake on her head.
The cream-colored girl with pink and blue hair was running away from her mint-green best friend with white hair, who kept throwing candies at her as she laughed hysterically.
The grey girl with blonde hair and crossed yellow eyes looked confused about what had just happened in this cafeteria until she felt a muffin bounced off of her head and landed on her hands. She looked down and smiled that she got herself a muffin. She then started to eat her muffin happily, while ignoring everything that was going on around her.
While everyone was dominating each other with food, the two girls who started all of this were still staring each other down. They narrowed their eyes, bared their teeth and raised their fists as if they dared one another to make their move first. Before one of the girls moved an inch, a certain energetic pink girl with puffy pink hair walked in and started speaking.
“Hey, did someone threw a food fight party and didn’t invite me!?! Who would do that? I would've love to join in the battle! Well, I would mostly just catch and gather the food as they throw food at me and not throw food back at them or the other students because that would be really really mean thing to do! Not to mention, it would be pretty wasteful to use food as a projectile and not for eating because those chiefs must be putting all their hearts into cooking all the food for us to eat! There are certain food that takes a long time to cook you know… like chimicherry… or was it cherrychanga? Chimicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimicherry? Cherrychan- OOOH! Is that taco!?! I love tacos! And lucky for me, this is the last one! It must have survived for not being used as a meaty projectile! Well I’m definitely not letting this meaty, cheesy, spicy, crunchy goodness to waste~!”
Both Trixie and Sonata’s eyes widened as they both saw her approaching the taco. Completely forgetting about their “battle,” they turned and ran towards the pink crazy girl.
As the pink girl with puffy pink hair reached out for the taco, her pinkie senses were suddenly tingling. Her senses were telling her to move out of the way because something was coming at her. As she quickly stepped aside, both Sonata and Trixie missed her completely, crashed against the serving counter and knocked the taco into the air.
Time seemed to slow down as the three girls watched the taco launched towards the ceiling. The taco almost touched the ceiling but then it slowly started descending towards the ground. Not wanting to let this taco fall, Sonata began to chase after the taco, only to be tripped by Trixie’s leg. Trixie then started to run towards the falling taco, but then got pulled back because her cape was yanked by Sonata. As the two girls ran and pushed each other for the prize, the taco continued to fall closer and closer to the ground. With no time left, both Sonata and Trixie launched themselves off of the ground. They both extended their arms to reach out for the taco. It seems that the taco was going to land on either one of their hands…
…sadly, they both missed it. The taco landed on the ground with a sickening thud, spilling all the contents all over the floor. After they landed on the ground, Sonata burst into tears in sadness while Trixie felt angry and defeated as they both stared at the ruined taco.
Suddenly, they both spotted two long legs walking up and stopped right by the spilled taco in front of them. Both Sonata and Trixie looked up to see an angry blue woman with a flowing midnight blue and purple hair. She wore a purple top with a belt around her waist, a white collar around her neck with a moon crescent on the right side and had a long blue pants.
“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” she shouted in her strong voice.
The whole cafeteria froze from the sound of an angry Vice Principal. They all stuck in their halfway throw or dump pose, not daring to make a sound, even as one of the students got hit in the face by a banana peel. The grey girl with blonde hair was still eating her muffin, totally oblivious to the events around her. Vice Principle Luna’s eyes hardened on every student in this cafeteria. As much as she wanted to lecture them all about their childish acts, her first priority was to find whoever was the one who started this mess.
“Alright, who was responsible for this destruction? Tell me the students who did this or I swear I’ll have everyone in this cafeteria in detention everyday including Saturdays with double the homework, cleaning up every single spot in this cafeteria and banned from eating in this cafeteria for the rest of the school year!”
Not wanting to face Vice Principle Luna’s wrath, they all pointed at the two girls on the cafeteria floor, who were still covered in various foods. Satisfied that she got her answer, Luna looked down at the two miserable girls with a stern look and crossed her arms.
“Alright you two, kindly explain to me how you both turned this cafeteria into a war zone and nearly destroyed half of this cafeteria?” Luna interrogated.
Both girls tried to speak (mostly sobbing in Sonata's case) to the Vice Principle their side of the story over the other at the same time, increasing their voice volumes by the second. Luna was already getting a headache and starting to lose her patience with the two girls.
“SILENCE!!!” Luna screamed.
Both girls immediately stopped talking and started to shake in fear under Luna's angry eyes. With no time to deal with this ridiculousness, Vice Principle Luna turned towards the pink student with puffy pink hair.
“Miss Pie, do you happen to know what those two did that caused the destruction of this cafeteria?” asked Vice Principle Luna.
Pinkie smiled. “Well, Sonata was waiting in line to get her taco that she always wanted to get since the Battle of the Bands for a long time until it was her turn, but Trixie cut in line and tried to take the last taco for herself, but then those two had an argument with each other until Trixie said something really mean to Sonata, which in turn caused Sonata to say something mean to Trixie, which also caused Trixie to threw a pie at Sonata face (which was cherry by the way) and then those two battle each other with food until Trixie tried to hit Sonata with that smelly meat, but she missed and ended up hitting another student in the face, which then-" Pinkie paused for a moment and then gasped loudly. "Caused the whole cafeteria to start a food fight and it was in chaos until you arrived!” Pinkie concluded with a squee.
Everyone was stunned from Pinkie’s long overly detailed rant until Trixie breaks the silence.
“Hey wait a minute! How did you know what had happened? You just got here about five minutes ago!” Trixie exclaimed.
“I read the author’s notes ahead of time!” Pinkie replied simply with a smile on her face and her eyes closed.
Not wanting to question Pinkie further, Luna turned back towards Sonata and Trixie.
“Is what Miss Pie just said was true? You two caused the food fight, all because you both fought over the last taco?” Vice Principle Luna asked with disbelief.
Sonata nodded in shame, confirming Luna that it was true. Trixie however, tried to defend herself.
“There wouldn't have been a fight if that girl would just let Trixie take that taco, which was rightfully belonged to Trixie!”
Luna glared down at Trixie. “Wrong, it wouldn’t have been a fight if you haven’t cut in line and not try to take the taco which was rightfully to Miss Dusk! As punishment, you will pay for her next taco and then the two of you will have six weeks in detention, starting after school today! During today’s detention, you two will spend the whole evening cleaning up this cafeteria until the place is completely spotless!”
Trixie groaned in defeat. “It’s not fair,” she muttered. “Will Trixie ever catch a break for once?”
Luna heard her question and respond, “If you treat others right, then maybe good things will happen to you instead.” And stay out of trouble. Luna thought to herself.
Luna shifted her eyes at Sonata.
“Miss Dusk, do you also understand your pun-”
Luna couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentence as she watched Sonata licking the floor where the fallen taco lied.
“Uh… Miss Dusk, why are you licking the floor?” asked Luna with her perplexed expression.
Sonata looked up at Vice Principle Luna. “There’s no way I’m leaving this cafeteria without that taco! So I’m eating it!”
“But the floor could be dirty!” Luna exclaimed.
“Worth it!” Sonata responded and then resumed licking the floor.
Luna was stunned while everyone else was grossed out by Sonata’s display.
Pinkie then leaned down to Trixie’s ear and whispered, “Should we tell her that the new batch of tacos had just arrived?”
Trixie facepalmed.
Now I'm in the mood for some tacos! 
Criticism is welcomed!
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Everyone loves taco Tuesday. There is no escaping the tacos on Tuesday, which just so happens to be today.
Very nice ai liked this story. Taco Tuesday id a very dangerous day.
This story was very entertaining! Very nice!
I had taco salad today because this story made me hungry for tacos....
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I LOVE THIS STORY! A like, a fave and a watch!
You occasionlly switch between present and past tense throughout the story, but it was a fairly fun read.
Nice story!
I think you meant "oblivious"
Extra L and I. 
I enjoyed!
A few spelling errors here and there, but overall a fun, silly story to pass the time.
Yes, bumbling villain sidekicks must ALWAYS receive their tacos!
Oy, this is a mess. Where to start...
First off, let's talk verb tenses. Your verb tenses are all over the place. Pick a tense and stick with it. You can't simply switch verb tenses back and forth in the middle of a sentence at will. It doesn't work that way.
Another major problem you have is that you're doing a whole lot of tell and not nearly enough show. Instead of telling the reader that Sonata convinced the others to stick around until Taco Tuesday, you could have shown her doing that, and gotten a lot of comedic dialogue out of it in the bargain.
Now, here's a selection of sentences and phrases in which there are glaring grammatical errors.
There are so many things wrong with the above sentence I don't even know where to begin:
- A student in a line is not a subject that an object can be "at". It's incompatible.
- "A student" is not a "where". I know you THINK you're saying the line is where she's at, but you're not.
- The description of Sonata is broken and stilted.
- How the bloody hell can Sonata be at herself?
If you're using anxious as an adverb here, it should be "anxiously".
- "would still have". Or "still has". Either is correct; the above is not.
- "had wanted".
Gain, not gained. Watch your verb tenses. They're important.
"to stay", not "of staying".
Why are you using "of" there? Why do you keep using "of" in places it has no business being?
Your readers already understood WHY they agreed. You don't need the redundant parenthetical aside that assumes the reader isn't clear on this point.
What was the point in adding "literally" there? Unless your reader has never heard of the CONCEPT of a taco, they know it's food...it makes no sense.
Two things:
- This is an example of you switching verb tenses mid-sentence, and you should not do this.
- "empty headed"? While that's fitting for Sonata, I'm pretty sure that's NOT what you meant to write there...
Hungry. Anxious and hungry.
This is as far as I got before the incessant verb tense errors and painful grammar forced me to stop reading. You need to get a proofreader or editor, preferably one whose first language is English (I'm assuming yours isn't. If it is, MY GOD.)
5170442 Thanks!
Could you please tell me which part so that I can improve my writing?
5171123 Sorry that you did not enjoy my story because of my grammar but I still appreciate your constructive criticism. I wrote this story myself without a proofreader or editor and I tried to look over it myself for any mistakes before I posted this on the site. Guess I still have some practice to do.
The renders used for the cover image look like they'd fit perfectly in Smash Bros.
Welp, that's just two more Mii Fighters to add to the list.
Sonata and tacos. Huh. Guess that's a thing now.
Everyone else in the cafeteria:
Everyone else in the cafeteria:
5174091 it was a thing the second that line happened in the movie.
5175054 Huh. Must be in the unedited version. Or it just went over my head.
Trixie has to pay for Sonata's next taco. I suppose Aria and Agadio are not going to be happy having to stay at CHS for another week.
5190699 Especially when they'll learn that Sonata has a six week detection, making them stay at school even longer.
5191891 I suppose Aria (my favorite) and Adagio could always just drop out and go shovel roadkill for the county until Sonata's detention is over.
taco.
There's a number of grammar issues, but one thing that stuck out at me especially is the present tense narration. It's very distracting (there's a reason it's rarely done), but even worse, it's inconsistent, as you lapse back and forth between present and past tense narration. Pick one and stick with it; and I'd suggest that it's past tense you stick with.
That sequence in which the two of them alternate messying up the other...
I know I've seen it before, in an old cartoon.
I just can't. Remember. Which.
I want to say either Doug or Hey Arnold, though I'm leaning more towards the latter.
This is going to drive me nuts until either I remember, or someone answers it for me.
Words cannot expression how hard I laughed.
TEAMKILLERS!
The
Tentacle
Arm
Kragle
Outside
Sprayer.
Or, T.A.K.O.S. (The S is silent)
On Taco (T.A.K.O.S.) Tuesday, it's going to Kraglize the entire universe so that EVERYONE! WILL STOP MESSING! WITH MY STUFF!!
Okay, the grammar in this story needs some SERIOUS attention (not to mention spelling errors here and there).
All in all, however, it was thoroughly entertaining. 9 out of 10!
Awesome...
Yeah, it's a rough story.
Also, I'm not sure Sonata would go THAT far for a taco. Just me...
This was a pretty good story.
Like if reading on Taco Tuesday
The end was so funny!
Who can charm guys more: Rarity or Sonata?
6470925 Rarity by a landslide! She can easily charm any guy just by batting her eyes.
6472200 Sonata can charm them by being Sonata.
6472215 With or without her singing powers?
6472367 Didn't you listen to me? I said Sonata can charm them by being Sonata.
6472395 Sorry, let me rephrase it. By being "Sonata", you mean she can charm the guys by being herself? Right?
6472473 Eeyup!
6472491 Well, I agree. She so likeable, she can charm anyone without even trying!
Classic food fight story. Hilarious! Also, I can picture Derpy eating a muffin thrown at her and ignoring everything else.
Though I did notice a few mistakes in this story. If you don't mind here is what I found.
I'm pretty sure the right way to say that would be thanks to you, because it was their fault.
The right way of saying that would be sing.
Put would work better there.
"Have made" should go there, it matches the past tense they were using.
change threw to throw.
walking
I would change that first part to "There wouldn't have been" and the second part to "rightfully belonged".
But overall great story, you just need an editor or something.
6537914 Thank you for liking my story and pointing out my mistakes!
I'm still learning as I'm writing the next story but I'll try to look for an editor If I need additional help.
EDIT: Mistakes fixed!
6538482
I'm glad I could help. I didn't want to seem rude when pointing out any of your mistakes so I'm glad you appreciate it. Your stories are good, they just need to be edited better.
Lol I love this story!
that was best part
Cx You are amazing. This story is amazing. *claps* all the prizes, all the prizes. Twelve muffins out of ten
~SoDF
Yout mean oblivious here. But anyway this is just so funny xD
7111760 Fixed and thanks!
6538482
...ah, there's still some spelling errors. Not obvious ones, the words are "spelled correctly", they're just the entirely wrong words due to the misspelling, and since the words they wound up being were actually dictionary correct, they aren't triggering your spellcheck.
Best example:
Obviously, this is supposed to be "detention," literally one letter off from "detection," which is correctly spelled if you wanted a word that meant "The act or process of detecting; discovery"
Also, you shift tenses quite a few times.
This is easily one of the most hilarious stories I’ve ever read on this site. You’ve done an amazing job in the comedy department.
Also, I would really like to see a sequel to this, because I’m very curious about how the other Dazzlings would react to Sonata’s six week long detention.