The Kingdom War

by Sir Squidfish

Cupcakes

Cupcakes

Twilight sat at a café in mid Ponyville, one of the few left open after the shelling had commenced. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that it was situated in a historic bomb shelter left over from the Discord incident… something about highly combustible pillows? At any rate, it was the only place that served both alfalfa/peanut butter sandwiches and high grade gems, both rare items on any menu. The gems were, of course, for Spike- the dragon had proved invaluable in the war effort thus far, partly because of his capacity as a portable fax machine, and also because of his ability to light multiple mortar fuses in a second. The peanut butter/alfalfa combo was an enigma in itself. The invention of PB&A had actually come about by accident, a lesser known but nevertheless significant result of Applejack’s insomniac phase. It had come just before the baked bads incident, and was surprisingly tasty in a sort of exotic way, not to mention priceless as brain food.

But it was not for gems or alfalfa that Twilight Sparkle had come to the café, even if that was the sole reason Spike had. No, she had something far more important to think about than food at the moment. After all, the burden of keeping Ponyville safe and secure rested squarely on her shoulders…
Ha. Haven’t heard that before.
And because she was in charge of all resistance operations throughout the town, she felt personally responsible for every pony’s welfare. Guarding every single pony under her jurisdiction involved a whole lot of late nights, tactical brainstorming sessions, and overall headache about getting every last factor of security in place perfectly so things didn’t rapidly spin out of control. Even one minuscule detail gone wrong could mean a huge gryphon clawhold on Ponyville, and from there, Equestria. They couldn’t let that happen. That was why she had arranged this meeting of commanders: To get a serious grip on the situation at hoof and address any technical flaws in the overall defense system that either Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash had found since their last martial parley. Then they would discuss how to best deal with each problem, argue a bit, put the little pony and gryphon dolls on the map, and have done with it. At least, if the others ever showed up…

Twilight glanced for the umpteenth time at the ancient clock on the wall. They should have been here an hour ago, she realized, somewhat peeved and slightly worried. Not like Pinkie Pie to be late for any kind of gathering… Rainbow Dash, yes. Time apparently doesn’t mean as much to you when you’re arguably the fastest pony in Equestria.

The unicorn General stood up.
“OK, I’ve waited long enough. I’m going out to see if I can find them. Spike, you stay here in case they show up while I’m gone. I’ll swing by Pinkie’s new place first- it’s less of a walk there than Cloudsdale. Also, Pinkie Pie has a way of knowing where ponies are and how to find them. Hold the fort until I get back, got it?”

“Sure thing, Twilight! I don’t mind staying here.” Spike said, his mouth full of marinated rubies and hay fries.

“Good. I’ll be back in an hour or so, maybe sooner depending on whether or not I find them.” Twilight slung on her green-blue-brown patterned flack vest, a necessary precaution because of the amounts of shrapnel whizzing about of late. She walked up the stairs, out of the door, and was on the road to Pinkie’s house.

***

Twilight trod up the path Rainbow had taken earlier that day. Unlike its earlier appearance, or rather nonappearance, the house was now in plain sight. Walking closer, she could hear sounds from within. Sounds of slicing and pounding. Of mixing and blending.
Wonder what she’s up to in there…
She knocked on the door.
“Hello, anypony home? What’s going on in there?”
A moment went by, in which the noise from inside suddenly halted. Then Pinkie's voice rang out from what was probably the kitchen.
“Oh, hey Sparky!” Sparky? What the hoof-- that’s a new one… “Come on in. I’m baking cupcakes with Rainbow Dash.”
…

“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!”

Twilight bolted through the door, the cry ripping from her throat as she tore through the house towards the kitchen. She reached the miniature bakery Pinkie had already installed, bucking open the double doors in a heartbeat and hurtling her body into the room.

She saw Pinkie Pie standing over an oversized mixing bowl, chopping something up and throwing it in. A bowl of blue frosting stood on the counter. The window shade was drawn. The pink pony was grinning as if at some private joke, and Rainbow Dash… was… Rainbow Dash was…

Rainbow Dash was standing near the oven wearing an apron and laughing. “Oh, hey Twilight! What’s up?” she said, wiping frosting off of her hooves and face.

“Uh, I…” The unicorn trailed off, somewhat bemused.

“Oh- hang on a second! There.” Rainbow interrupted her, neatly pulling a batch of what else but cupcakes out of the oven and setting them out to cool. “So, what were you saying?”

Twilight rubbed her head, now totally confused. She turned to Pinkie Pie, who was still mixing batter in the huge bowl. “I thought you said… uh, never mind. Rainbow Dash, is that… you’re not wearing a… someone shoot me please.”

“Okey Dokey Lokey, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie burbled, pulling a camera out of nowhere and clicking away. “Now you can have [whoosh-crack!] The Magics.”

With a valiant effort, the unicorn got a hold of herself. Now that she remembered why she had come in the first place, she realized that she had some bawling out to do. “Girls, stop! Now, wasn’t there someplace you were supposed to be?” she asked them expectantly, tapping her hoof on the floor.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash exchanged blank stares, and then guilty looks.

“Wait, don’t tell me, was… was there… there was some kind of… war thing going on today, right?” Rainbow Dash guessed. Noting the look on Twilight’s face, she grinned triumphantly. “See? I didn’t forget! I was just, ah… telling Pinkie here that we needed to be getting to your… um, the… thingy. You know.” she concluded lamely, still smiling hopefully.

“Yeah. I know.” Twilight bristled. She made a noise from behind her tongue that was right about halfway between a sigh and a growl. “Are you awaaaare,” she began with extreme irony evident in her tone, “that there is a WAR GOING ON?!? We don’t, and I repeat, DO NOT have time for MUFFINS!”

“Actually they’re cupcakes actually. Cupca--”

“I. Don’t. Stomping. Care. I want you BOTH over at the café. Now.”

Pinkie Pie sighed. “We COULD have the meeting here…”

“Here.”

“Yeah, we could totally do it here!” RD enthused. I mean, it’s high tech, totally secure, even invisible if we want it to be. And besides,” she said, producing a pair of sunglasses and putting them on, which would have worked if it hadn’t been for the apron, “We have cupcakes.”

“Cupcakes…” Twilight bobbled, her temper suddenly and totally diffused by her friends’ total randomness. She slumped her shoulders in defeat. “Hay, why not?”

***

Spike sat at the Pony and Feather, dozily munching on yet another pastry. “Got to wait… for Twilight… gonna be back soon… Oh, my head (hic). Waiter, another doughnut, straight no sprinkles. Be back soon, said she would… doughnuts…”

~~~

Comments

[SlipperPutty]

I think you might be misspelling Pinkie Pie. It's with an "ie", not a "y" I believe.

Otherwise, this is a great story. The Cupcakes reference was brilliant. I'm going to follow this.

[SlipperPutty]

BTW, if you actually get to writing about the actual events of the war, I'll be listening to this while reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOPEbIIQRRI