Alone

by Dream_Catcher_

Welcome in Ponyville !

Friday, 24th October, 3 PM.
Yesterday we finished to pack up the last things we needed to. At my surprise, the preparations for our moving-out were kinda super fast. I must say, I did more than the half of the packages . After all, if I can be useful, well ... Why not ?
And now, we've almost arrived . Ponyville is a small town, and ... Reaally, really near Canterlot.
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.
We took a family sized flying chariot.Yeah, we could have took the train but ... There would be a lot of ponies. Too much for me .
I feel kinda bad that we have to use a much more expensive conveyance just because of my phobias.

---

" Hey, Dream, look out ! We're arrived ! " squealed with delight Pandora, a huge beam on her cute little face.

" Wow, cool. " answered flatly the teen unicorn while glancing briefly at the decor .

Dream Catcher was the last one of the small family managing to get out of the chariot when a pink, bouncing earth pony approached her, still jumping awkwardly.

" Oh, hey, wait a minute, I never saw you before ! That's funny because I know everypony here ! OOOH, wait, then you are new ?? Are you ? What is your name ? " shouted happily the pink pony .

" Yeah, I-I-I'm new and ... ''

A bit stressed by the proximity of somepony she didn't knew, the unicorn didn't have the time to complete her answer that ALREADY Pink-Pony continued with her loud, happy voice.

" OOW, then if you are new I totally need to throw a party " Welcome to Ponyville" !! "

" ... "

At the word of party , the white teen froze in terror.Painful memories were already playing in her mind.

---

- Mommy ?

Nopony answered .
A tiny, white unicorn filly scanned fearfully the crowd of ponies. Ponies, unicorns, pegasi everywhere ...
Absolutely EVERYWHERE.
But her parents were nowhere to be found !
The little filly was shaky and tears were running on her cheeks.

- MOMMY, DADDY ? W-W-Wh-where a-are you ?

---

" Dream, sweetheart, where are you ? "
Nopony answered and the white, tall unicorn looked the roads of Ponyville. She didn't notice her biggest daughter and her purple eyes went wide.

" DREAM ? "
A few ponies looked awkwardly at her.

" Oh, sweet Celestia, where is she ?! "

She finally saw her, staring widely in the air, with a pink pony talking super-fast of random things and ...
Parties.

---

'' And so I said to him, ARE YOU CRAZ...''

Pinkie Pie stopped when she noticed that three other ponies - a white unicorn with a long, light blue straight mane and purple eyes, a black earth pony with a dark purple, messy short mane and blue eyes and a little filly with a dark greyish coat and a short, messy, black-and-purple mane - were around the teen unicorn and comforting her.

'' D'aww, it's so CUTE ! OH WAIT, you three are family with her ? OOH, BUT THEN THERE IS A WHOLE NEW FAMILY HERE ! "
She was bouncing even more, super excited .

'' IT'S GONNA BE THE BEST P... Mmmph ? ''

She looked down and discovered the little cute filly who ... just putted a hoof in her mouth ?!

'' My big sister is afraid of parties '' explicated Pandora, at a very low voice, while putting off her hoof.

'' Well, THAT is silly, silly ! Who can be afraid of p-MMPH ...''

'' Don't talk about parties with her ! It's a phob .. Phub ... Phib-weird psychological thing ... So don't talk about THAT with her, you promise ? ''

'' Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye ! ''

Pandora blinked a few times.
'' What's that ? ''

'' Oh, I just Pinkie Promised ! Cross my heart , '' she made a motion of crossing her chest with a hoof, '' Hope to fly, '' Pinkie Pie continued while spreading her forehooves like if it was wings, '' Stick a cupcake in my eye ! '' She ended happily, sticking a hoof in her eye.

'' It's funny ! '' squeaked the little filly. '' What is your name ? ''

'' Pinkie Pie, what is your's ? ''

'' Pandora Eye, but you can just call me Pandora like everypony do ! '' answered gleefully the young filly.
A few minutes after, Pandora noticed that her family already left .

'' Shoot ! Pinkie, can you help me to find my parents and Big Sis' ? "

" Okie-dokey-lokie ! "

Pandora saw the fact that Pinkie Pie was acting strangely. Her eyes were twitchy, and her legs were shaky.

'' What's happening ? ''

'' Oh, nothing, silly ! That's my Pinkie Sense who is telling me that your family is riiiiiiiiiiiight ....'' she started to drag a wide-eyed Pandora ...
'' ... Heeere ! ''

'' Thank you ! '' said happily the little filly who joined the three others.

---

There they were, finally arrived. But the journey wasn't finished yet.

Comments

[Mr Marshmallow]

Some errors but willing to follow.

[Dream_Catcher_]

5164163
I'm awfully sorry for the errors, I'm French :s
But I am glad that you like it, I'm going to post some more tomorrow evening at the earliest :D

[Electrician]

I like the premise of the story, and will be following this! It's a very original idea; at least, I've never seen it done before. Pacing is pretty good as far as I'm concerned.

As Mewtwo already pointed out though, the story has a few errors riddled throughout. While words are spelled correctly, and grammar is used correctly most of the time, sometimes your word choice makes sentences feel awkward. Example (Chapter 2):

And now, we're almost arrived .

The word I believe you meant to use was we've. Expanding the contraction as it is, your sentence reads "We are almost arrived" while it's supposed to say "we have almost arrived, hence "we've". This mistake was done more than once, from what I remember.

Also, and this is very minor and me just being picky, there's a space between "arrived" and the period (or full stop) that's not necessary.

Aside from that, there are a few more sentences that have this type of problem, and your paragraphs should be indented at the start (like the start of my paragraphs, use the tab key to do this).

Overall though, these mistakes are not anything major, and I enjoyed your story (and I see others have as well, good job ). I would recommend that someone look over your chapters before posting if you can, to catch these errors, but that's about it. Keep up the good work, and hope to see more!

[Dream_Catcher_]

5164622
I'm glad to know that you like it <3

... Oops I guess I definitely should get a proof-reader x'D Thanks for pointing out the mistakes, I'm going to correct that the fastest possible ^_^

Thanks again for your heartwarming support <3
I have a few ideas for this story and I'll keep writing something like 5-6 chapitres which are going to be a bit bigger :3