Seeing Red
Mafioso was not a happy stallion at the moment. No, he was not happy at all. He was most assuredly the opposite of happy. He ground his teeth in frustration, trying to keep his cool as he read this morning’s newspaper. Apparently, a group of those lowlifes, the Reds, were apprehended by police. That wasn’t what irritated him, though. He actually applauded that. The Reds were a problem, and they needed to be dealt with. No, what irritated him was this particular paper’s current front page story:
MYSTERY PONY CREATURE FENDS OFF REDS: FRIEND OR FOE?
One of the Reds who had been caught claimed that the creature looked like an ordinary pony, until they started fighting it. It moved like a living shadow and handed them their flanks. Even their knives did nothing to it. Another Red actually had a name for the creature: the Raven. Apparently, this “Raven” claimed that it was the defender of Manehattan now, and that all criminals should beware.
‘Yet another hero type,’ he thought, grumbling under his breath. He looked up from the paper at the sound of hoofsteps, seeing Brawn enter.
“I’m guessin’ ya saw today’s paper,” said the large pegasus. Mafioso scoffed and tossed the paper across his desk so that Brawn could see it as well. “What do ya wanna do about this one, boss? We’ve already got a lotta other stuff to do.”
Leaning back in his seat, the earth pony mob leader thought on his options. This “Raven” character could prove to be an issue in the future. The Reds were roaches; their numbers were matched only by their toughness. No matter what one did, those jokers would always bounce back one way or another. Anypony who could take down a group of them and walk away should not be taken lightly. Still, Brawn had a point: presently, they had other business to attend to.
“Let this one go for now,” said Mafioso. “We still have to deal with that Swimming Vine, or whatever her name was.” Brawn nodded in understanding and left his boss with his thoughts.
Mafioso once again read over the article on “the Raven.” Very little was given in description, except that the creature was dark in color and had horrifically yellow eyes. He cocked his head as he read through the article further again. The Raven’s abilities (the ones that were known so far, as listed by the captured Reds) were… unique, to say the least. Gradually, an odd little idea began forming in his head.
Maybe, just maybe, there was a way he could turn this situation into something working in his favor. Certainly, the Raven had incredible skills. This creature could be a force to be reckoned with. A force he would greatly prefer to have on his side. On his payroll, if necessary.
-o-
Exhausted.
Swirling Line was completely, utterly, thoroughly exhausted. The last four days were filled with nothing but work, and her nights were now her getting yelled at by Drill Sergeant Cranky-Feathers for four-and-a-half hours, with the last half hour being a mad dash to get back to her apartment. Bare hooffuls of hours of sleep did little to ease her tiredness, which, unfortunately, often led to-
“WAKE UP!” Lou hollered into ear, making her yelp in panic as she jumped from her seat, hooves flailing until she roughly fell to the floor. “Get your lazy flank in gear, Line! We’ve got customers!”
With a long yawn, Swirling said, “Right, sorry…” She trotted out of the kitchen, doing her best to ignore Lou’s hollering from then on. She grabbed a notepad from the counter and went to the nearest table occupied table. After taking the order of the relatively respectful couple, she handed it off to Lou, then stood behind the counter with Summer Streams, who gave her worn-out friend a worried look.
“You okay, Swirl?” asked the unicorn.
Swirling shook her head slightly, trying to get rid of the urge to just drop her head on the counter and sleep. “I’m fine. Long night.”
“Your art keeping you up?”
The two-toned pegasus hesitated. “Er… yeah. Still trying to… yeah.” She looked at her friend, hoping she bought. Slowly, however, Summer’s concerned expression became a sly grin.
“It’s not your art keeping you up at all, is it?” she asked, nudging the pegasus slightly. “Come on, you can tell me! What’s his name?”
Swirling Line only blinked at first, not quite getting where her friend was going. Then it clicked. “Wh-what!? N-no! There is no ‘he’!” She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks, despite her attempts to stop it.
‘I beg to differ,’ a painfully familiar voice said within the pegasus mare’s head.
‘Shut it, Nevermore!’ Swirling spat back to the bird through her thoughts.
Summer gave Swirling a quizzical look for a moment. “Oh. Well… huh… I never expected you to be interested in mares.”
Swirling’s face blanched at the unicorns astoundingly blunt statement. Nevermore’s uproarious laughter in her mind didn’t help her any. “There’s no ‘she’ either!”
“Oh. Well, then, what’s wrong?”
“Just… long nights.” Swirling Line hated having to lie to her best friend like this. She and Summer were close, and had been since Swirling’s early days in Manehattan. But Swirling knew Summer a little too well. The unicorn couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. That, and the fact that her current boyfriend was a journalist, albeit a freelance one, made it pretty clear that it was bad idea to share the secrets of her new powers.
Summer hummed for a second, obviously mulling over an idea. “Well, how about we do some exercise when we get off work? A brisk jog around the park should make you tired enough to get some actual sleep.” She then winked playfully at Swirling. “Besides, if you trim up some, you might even find yourself a nice stallion.”
Swirling blushed furiously, her embarrassment added with Nevermore’s increasing laughter made her want to strangle somepony. “I get enough exercise every night now,” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just thinking out loud. Look, it’s nice of you to offer, but I’m too exhausted for anything more strenuous than Lou yelling at me.” That was about half true if Swirling was to be completely honest. She was afraid getting much more of Lou’s crap would drive her off the edge. And, as if on cue…
“Line! Streams! Get your flanks back to work! I ain’t paying you to talk!”
Summer visibly flinched at Lou’s hollering, then heaved out a sigh. “Duty calls,” she quipped with a joking smile. Swirling gave a light chuckle as her friend walked off with her own notepad. The two-toned pegasus lay her head on the counter again, sighing through her nose and watching as the hoofful of customers talked and ate.
She let her mind wander, mildly fantasizing about leaving this grease pit of a restaurant and living out her dream as career artist. Meeting Mr. Perfect… having a family of her own… the thought was nice, that was for certain.
‘You’re aiming too high, you know,’ said Nevermore in his usual dry tone.
‘Oh, what do you know?’ she retorted. ‘Sure, it might never happen, but it’s nice to dream about it, right?’
She heard what sounded like a sigh from the spirit and rolled her eyes. Who cares what he thinks? She’s the only one who can hear him anyway. Why was he so adamant that she know all of his opinions?
“Line!” she heard Lou scream.
“Back to work, right! S-sorry!”
-o-
After a day full of the everlasting joy that’s known as work, Swirling decided it was time to do a little something for herself. The chime of the entry bell rang as she walked into the candy store known as Daytime Delights. She was still amazed at the colorful little store that had the best assortments of different candies. Gummies, chocolates, hard candies, even mint-flavored candies were set out in cute, little displays. As she looked over the candies and baked goods, she wondered why she never visited this store before the night of the fire.
‘Maybe it was because you don’t have any money to afford it?’ she heard Nevermore quip.
Her ears leveled in annoyance. “Life was hectic enough without the commentary,” she muttered quietly.
‘Don’t you think you’re milking Bright Day’s generosity a bit? This is only the fourth time this week you’ve raided her store.’
She muttered, not able to completely argue with him. “She said it was always on the house.”
He didn’t say anything, but she felt him shake his head at her.
“Hello?” She turned to see Bright Day exit from a door. The bright-red earth pony smiled warmly as she saw Swirling looking over the stock. “Swirling Line, it’s good to see you again!”
Swirling smiled to the mare. “Hello, Ms. Day, how’re you?”
The shopkeeper gave a tired sigh as she stepped behind the counter. “I’ve been all right, it’s just the slow season. Holidays are where my shop does it’s best, but with the Summer Sun Celebration still a month away, it’s been slow.”
Swirling frowned softly, her guilt growing some. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll pay for anything and everything I get today.”
The other mare shook her head firmly, smiling. “No, Swirling. What you did for me, saving my daughter when I thought I’d lost her, is worth all the candy in my store. You’re always welcome to anything I have.”
The pegasus nodded slowly. “Still, I do feel a bit guilty.”
Bright gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t. What would you like today? More of those chocolate mints?”
Swirling couldn’t keep the wide, triumphant grin from her face. “Yes, please.”
‘I’ll never understand ponies…’
Swirling’s smile only grew wider at Nevermore’s exasperated tone.
After Swirling put the stuffed bag of candy into her saddlebag, she looked at the door as the chime went off again.
“Mom! I’m back from school!”she heard Sunny Day call. “My teacher gave me an ‘A’ on my—” the little yellow-coated filly gasped in surprise as she spotted Swirling at the counter. “Swirling Line!” The filly rushed forward and wrapped her forelegs around Swirling’s fiercely.
Swirling smiled warmly and hugged the little filly back. Ever since the fire incident, and the filly’s initial shyness, the two had grown rather fond of each other. Swirling almost considered Sunny to be the little sister she never had.
Sunny stopped suddenly as she sniffed the air, her face scrunching up in disgust. “Mom, what is that smell? It stinks.”
The older mare took a sniff of the air and frowned faintly. “It smells like… grease?”
Swirling lowered her head in shame. “Yeah, that’s me. I just got off work at Lou’s Diner, and I probably smell like the place.”
Sunny looked at her while still covering her nose. “You need a bath, Swirling. You stink.”
“Sunny! That’s not nice,” Bright Day admonished her.
‘Out of the mouths of foals,’ Nevermore remarked.
‘Will you shut up!?’
“Sunny, how are you?” Swirling asked as the little filly hopped back.
“Good! My teacher gave me an ‘A’ on my spelling test!” She dug into her saddlebags and proudly showed it off to both Swirling and her mother. “See, Mom?”
The shopkeeper smiled warmly to her daughter. “I see. Very good job, Sunny! See what taking the time to study does for you?”
Her daughter deflated a bit but nodded. “Yeah… it’s still boring, though.”
Swirling couldn’t help but chuckle at her. “Oh, studying is boring, but it’ll all be worth it in the long run, though.”
The pink-maned filly looked at her carefully. “Really?”
The pegasus nodded knowingly. “It will. You’re a smart filly, you’ll do fine.”
“Yay!” Sunny started bouncing in place happily.
As Swirling watched the little filly excitedly ramble to them about her day, she only wished she had such enthusiasm about school when she was little.
‘Why must you lie to the little filly like that?’ Nevermore asked.
‘I didn’t lie to her. She is smart!’ Swirling shouted at him in her mind.
‘I was talking about school being worth it. You know full well how far school gets you.’
Swirling grumbled at both Nevermore and the greasy odor her coat gave off. “I should go home and take a shower.”
Bright smiled at her. “Probably a good idea. Maybe we’ll see you again soon?”
“You gotta come back, Swirling. I got a new doll I want to show you,” Sunny added but kept a respectful distance from her. The pegasus smiled down at the filly, rubbing a hoof in her mane.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get a shower at home and come right back. Then you can show me your new doll, okay?” Sunny nodded hopefully as Swirling made her way to the door with a smile on her face.
Just as Swirling Line made it to the door, it swung open, nearly striking her in the head and making her leap back with a surprised yelp. In walked two burly stallions, one a pegasus wearing a bright red bandana like a headband on his forehead, the other an earth pony wearing an equally red hoofball jersey. Neither looked like they were here for sweets.
The earth pony marched up to Bright Day, who stepped back nervously. Sunny hid behind her mother’s legs fearfully. “It’s that time of the month, lady,” he said with a scowl. “Where’s our money?”
Bright gulped. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t have it. The fire-”
“Don’t give us that crap!” the pegasus stallion growled. “We don’t want no excuses!”
At that, Swirling Line stepped in between the two stallions - both clearly Reds if their attire was any indication - and Bright. “What in the hay is going on here?” She was answered by a rough shove from the other pegasus, knocking her to her haunches.
“Ain’t none of your business,” said the earth stallion in a gruff, spiteful tone. He face Bright again. “We’ll be back tomorrow, lady. And if you don’t have our money by then…” He nodded to his partner, who immediately bucked a leg in one of the display cases, shattering the glass, which fell across the floor on other side on the display. Sunny shrieked at the sudden sound, shying further behind her mother.
Bright nodded reluctantly. “Okay, I get the idea. I’ll try to have the money by then.”
“You damn well better, or you’ll lose more than a stupid candy store.” With another nod, the earth pony and his pegasus accomplice left the shop, but not without knocking over one of the gumball machines on the way out, spilling the candies all across the floor in a mixture with the glass.
Standing back on her hooves, Swirling glared angrily at the door before turning to Bright and Sunny with a concerned look. “What were the Reds doing here?”
Sighing bitterly as she got to cleaning up the mess, Bright Day explained, “It’s an extortion racket. They have this whole street under their hooves. They’ve been demanding protection money around her for the past year, and nopony can stop them.”
“The Raven can.”
Both mares turned to Sunny, who sat looking surprisingly sure of herself. Swirling blinked somewhat nervously, Bright only shook her head.
“Sunny, sweetie, you know that’s just some urban legend,” the earth mare said.
“No, it’s not. The Reds are afraid of it, so it has to be real!”
“Er…” Swirling hesitated to reply, even though she really wanted to.
‘You could just show them,’ Nevermore pointed out. Swirling lightly shook her head.
“You know I can’t!” she whispered.
“What was that?” Bright Day asked, startling the pegasus.
“Oh-oh, nothing! Just thinking out loud, that’s all!” She grinned rather awkwardly. “Uh… I’ll just… go home and get a shower. I’ll be back later!” She then darted out the door, leaving both mare and filly to their mild confusion.
-o-
Swirling Line stood as the water poured over her, washing her violet and white-striped mane and coat, thinking back to the Reds at Daytime Delights. Bright had said that the racket had been going on for a year now. A whole year of ponies being oppressed by a group of no-good, cutthroat bullies. She growled to herself and punched the wall.
‘What did the poor wall ever do to you?’
“Shut up, Nevermore.”
‘Why is this even bothering you so much to begin with? It’s not our problem.’
“But Bright and Sunny are my friends. You could at least respect my concern for them.”
‘Believe it or not, I do respect that. It’s still not our problem.’
Swirling didn’t even bother to dignify that with a retort. Her main worry was with her two recent friends. She couldn’t bear to see anypony get hurt, and from the way those two Reds acted, it sounded like they were planning to do more than just break a few display windows. Bright had said that nopony could stop them.
“The Raven can.”
Sunny’s words rang out in Swirling’s head, and grew a determined look in her eyes.
‘You’re right, Sunny,’ she thought. ‘The Raven can stop them. And she will.’
-o-
The door to the bar flew open, and an earth pony stallion wearing a red bandana wrapped around his left foreleg walked out, a drunken flush on his face as he trotted out into the cool night air. He heard the bartender yelling at him, but he ignored him. He was just having fun. So what if he “forgot” to pay for his drinks? That bar had pretty good business. Come to think of it, why weren’t the Reds bull-rushing this place for protection money? Soon as he met with the boss, he’d see to fixing that mistake.
Staggering after admittedly a few too many ciders and salt licks, he somehow managed to keep himself on the sidewalk, though he had to often lean against a wall or a lamppost for a few moments to steady himself. As he walked he hummed some tune he heard on the radio far off key. What was the name of that song again? Ah, whatever.
A sudden sound like the clang of metal caught his attention. It had come from an alley to his left, but the only thing he saw at first a brief flash of something yellow. It was too fast to make out, however.
“Who’s there?” he called out. For a few moments, no answer came. He shook his head. “Must be hearing things…”
As if fate desired to prove him wrong, something tackled him into the alley and roughly shoved him against the wall of a building, dazing him.
“Here’s how this is going to go down,” said bizarre, unnatural voice that sounded like two ponies talking at the same time. “I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to answer me with complete honesty.”
After a few moments, the stallion’s focus returned, and he saw what had pounced on him. Before him was a creature whose body was jet black, with glowing yellow eyes and a mane that broke apart and vanished as it flowed like an ethereal mass. Its large, spread wings shared that same trait, making the creature look like a living shadow.
“Wh-what in the-!?” A hoof suddenly slammed over his mouth, muffling a cry of pain. It felt like a few teeth had just been broken.
“I’m asking the questions here, tough guy,” the creature said in its unnatural voice. It didn’t have any mouth that he could see, further adding to his slowly rising panic. “Now, I’m going to ask you one very simple question, and you’re going to answer honestly. Then I might let you go. Understand? Nod if you do.” The stallion nodded as frantically as he could with the thing’s hoof pressing on his face. “Good. Now, tell me, what do you know about the extortion racket down on 10th Street?”
-o-
An hour after her interrogation of the Red - whom she’d discreetly delivered to the nearest police station - Swirling Line made her way to where he had said that the Reds in charge of the racket on Bright and Sunny’s street were based; an old, abandoned building that had been set for demolition for years. Apparently, the city never got around to taking it down. This could prove to be to her advantage, now that she thought about it. All those shadows everywhere, especially with it being nighttime, would hide her with no trouble at all.
When the building was in sight, she landed quietly atop a roof across the street. Sure enough, two Reds were standing guard in front of the derelict building. Although, “standing guard” was being generous. In reality, they were just standing out front smoking and chatting.
‘This may be easier than I though,’ she thought, already spotting a number of places where she could get in quietly to find their boss.
‘Never underestimate your enemy,’ warned Nevermore. ‘These guys are clearly thugs, but thugs are usually tough, and you’re not invincible.’
“I know that,” Swirling said indignantly. “I’m going to be careful about this. I do learn from my mistakes. I’ll keep an eye out for any banana peels this time.” She ignored the light snicker from the spirit and returned her focus to the building. “Let’s do this.”
She sank into the shadows (which still gave her the chills for a number of reasons), and darted through them toward the Reds out front. She paid their conversation no mind, instead emerging behind them.
“Lovely night, isn’t it?” she said, startling the two thugs. She quickly turned around and bucked them both in the face, sending them flying back a ways and knocking them out cold. She then headed into the building, where four more Reds sat around a table playing cards.
“You hear about those morons who got caught by the cops?” one asked his companions.
“The whole city heard about that,” a second answered as he drew a card. “Kept goin’ on about a livin’ shadow or some crap. Talk about a lousy day.”
“Damn straight,” the first said. “This whole ‘Raven’ thing is just some dumbass’s way of trying to the heat off himself. It’s gotta be some crazy pony in a suit.”
“What, like Batmare?” a third Red joked, earning a laugh from his fellow goons.
“No, actually,” Swirling Line chimed in, making all four stallions jumps out of their seats. The fourth of them pulled a knife from Celestia-knows-where. She had melded back into the shadows, leaving the Reds clueless.
“Who’s there!?” the knife-wielder demanded, brandishing his weapon.
The mare couldn’t help herself. Deepening her voice, she said, “Who do you think? I’m Batmare.”
One of the stallions actually suppressed a laugh, though he was silenced by a glare from his companions. The knife stallion scowled, glancing around for the elusive voice. “Get out here so we can beat you to a pulp!”
‘Not the best at giving invitations, are they?’ quipped Nevermore.
Swirling smiled to herself. “You asked for it.”
She shot out of the shadows, tackling one stallion to the ground slamming a hoof into his face, knocking him out. The Red with the knife went to slash at her, but her shadow form deflected the blade, giving her the chance to deliver a powerful buck to his barrel, blasting him away with force he likely didn’t expect. Another Red charged her, clearly with his plan only being to attack wildly. She ducked under a right hook from his hoof before headbutting him in the chin, a sickening crunch meeting her ears as the blow broke his jaw, earning a cry of pain from the stallion.
With two of his cohorts unconscious and one moaning in pain and holding his lower jaw, the fourth Red looked at Swirling with wide, fearful eyes.
Once again, she couldn’t help herself.
“Boo.”
With a shrill shriek of panic, the Red galloped out of the room and out of the building, leaving Swirling Line to snicker to herself.
“Ha, just a big chick—” she started until another thug jumped out from behind a stack of crates at her. He wrapped his forelegs around her neck and threw her through the crates before she could react. The wooden boxes splintered, their contents, mostly bottles of what smelled like hard cider and other alcoholic drinks, strewn around her.
She groaned as she pushed herself up to see the Red approaching her. He was much bigger and much tougher-looking than the others, with a dark gray coat and sloppy white mane. His dark eyes glowered down at her as he slipped a metal covering over one of his front hooves and glared down at her. She noticed his cutie mark was a fairly cartoonish lightning bolt, which she found odd on an earth pony.
“You got a lot of nerve breaking in my hideout and thrashing my boys, freak!” He brought his hoof down, barely giving her time to move as she jumped away from his strike. The metal covering sparked and left cracks in the concrete floor. “You think you’re some kinda hero? Well, you're about to find out what we do to heroes around here!”
She dodged his next attack and lashed out with a kick, but he threw up his hoof and blocked her. He then swiped out with a wide swing. She ducked under the attack and couldn’t help but smile at the opening the Red left her. She tried to spring forward at him, but before she went skidding across the pavement, she saw the knee of his back leg a split second before she saw the flashing lights, and felt stinging pain on her muzzle.
She quickly got back to her hooves despite the pain in her snout as the thug ran after her.
‘That was a feint. Careful; this one actually knows how to fight.’
“You don’t say?” she snarked as she jumped away from his broad attack.
He growled as she continued to keep out of his range. “Hold still, you coward, and fight me like a stallion!”
She smiled beside herself. “Yeah, there’s just one problem with—” She started when she felt herself bump into something. She instinctively looked back at the stack of crates when she heard the thug yell and turned to see him bring back his hoof in a deadly haymaker.
“Got you!”
She hoped her fearful stumble over the crates looked more like she had intended to roll over them rather than the desperate skitter it felt like. The thug brought his hoof down through the crate, but swore when it remained stuck in the wreckage.
“I’m not a stallion!” She yelled and leaped across and kicked him solidly across the muzzle. A few teeth flew free of his jaw as he bounced across the floor, his glove-like weapon remaining lodged in the crates.
He tried to push himself off of the ground, but when he felt himself lifted up and slammed into a wall of the warehouse, he knew she had him. One look at those unearthly eyes had him gripped far more solidly than the hoof that had him pinned, and that hoof had him pinned pretty tight.
“You’re in charge here, I take it?” she inquired, using a menacing tone. Or, as menacing as she could make her voice. The Red nodded. “Good. What’s your name?”
“J-Jolt,” he stammered out. Like with his cutie mark, Swirling noted that his name was odd for an earth pony. That was a mystery for another day, however.
“All right, Jolt.” Her tone went from her best menacing voice to her friendliest, hoping to frighten the stallion just a little bit more. “Let’s chat for a bit, shall we?”
-o-
Bright was nervous.
No, that was an understatement. She was terrified. Without a doubt, today would be the day the Reds finally tear her store apart, taking away one of the few things she had left after the fire had destroyed her and Sunny’s home. They had already been staying at a family friend’s place, and they’d proven to be very gracious, but they couldn’t live like that forever! Losing Daytime Delights to a bunch of delinquents would destroy Bright’s spirit. She didn’t even want to think of the effect it could have on Sunny.
There was nothing she could do, though. Resisting the Reds was pointless. They’d just send somepony in who was tougher than the last guy. All anypony on this block could do was hope that they felt merciful. That, however, would be a miracle in itself.
Any minute now, a gang of Reds would barge their way into her store, causes hundreds of bits worth of property damage, demand their money, likely beat her when she didn’t have it, then set fire to the building and walk away laughing. She steeled herself, trying to make herself look tougher than she felt, praying to Celestia, Luna, and Faust that those thugs would be gentle.
She was in the stockroom in back when she heard the bell over the door jingle, nearly making her drop a glass jar of jawbreakers. She took a deep breath to calm herself. She reminded herself that, even though the Reds were cruel, they were still ponies, and, hopefully, could be reasoned with. She made for the shop, wanting nothing more than to get this over with.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Day!” chirped a familiar, two-toned pegasus mare. Bright heaved out a sigh of relief as Swirling Line began browsing the many sweets and baked goods available.
“Oh, it’s just you, Swirling,” the earth mare said as she relaxed a little. She headed over to the counter, where she stood by the register. “For a minute there, I thought you were the Reds again.”
Swirling chuckled, almost as if she had a secret. “You know, I’ve got a feeling that they won’t be much of problem for you anymore.”
“What makes you say that?”
The pegasus shrugged. “Call it a hunch, I guess.” After that, she picked out several cupcakes and mint chocolates. Against Bright’s protests, she left a few bits on the counter and headed out. A few minutes later, Sunny bounced in, happily chatting about her day in school, while Bright found herself thinking about what Swirling had said.
‘A hunch…?’
Wherever that "hunch" had come from, Swirling was right. The Reds never came in. She learned from neighboring storeowners that the Reds failed to collect from them, as well. It wasn't until she read the front page of the newspaper the next morning that she learned why:
THE RAVEN STRIKES AGAIN
-o-
Brawn wanted to punch something. He wanted to shatter the table he was sitting at, he was so frustrated. Knives, who sat across from him, still wore that ever-present smirk of his, which only served to irritate him further. Almost a week of searching, and that what’s-her-name was nowhere to be found. She must’ve been out of town if they couldn’t find her. Talk about a pain in the flank.
“You’ll end up killing yourself if you keep going like this,” Knives suddenly said as he flipped through his menu. He frowned. “Is there nothing here that isn’t drowned in grease?”
“How you be so cool about this?” Knives raised a questioning eyebrow at the burly pegasus. “If we don’t find that mare, the boss is gonna go nuts. And you know how he is when that happens. Remember what happened last time?”
“Six corpses and a lot of burning to do,” the unicorn replied with a nonchalant wave of his hoof. “Relax. She’ll turn up. I’ve got a feeling that we’re closer now than ever.”
“Excuse me,” said a mare’s voice. “Are you ready to make your orders?”
Both stallions faced the waitress, and Brawn nearly did a double take. The mare was a pegasus, with a violet coat that bore white stripes on her legs and barrel. Her mane was dark shade of purple, with lines of lighter purple breaking in. Her cutie mark was an intricate snowflake. The look on her face gave the impression that she was having a rough day.
Knives spoke first. “Of course. I’ll have a double hayburger with everything, with a side of fries.”
“Er, an HBLT for me,” Brawn said. The waitress wrote down their orders and nodded, heading off to inform the cook. Brawn turned to his partner and said, “That was-!”
“I know who it was, Brawn. You don’t need to shout it to the heavens.” He looked over in the direction of the kitchen, his smirk returned, larger than before. “Heh. What’re the odds? She’s been working in this greasy hellhole this whole time. We should check these places more often.”
“We gotta tell the boss,” Brawn pointed out. Knives nodded in agreement. No doubt, Mafioso would love to hear news like this.
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5327577
Your uncertainty on how to process that isn't my problem. What I am saying is that authors should aspire to consistency, in the case most definitely more than the writers of the show seem to have. The show's writers deserve a good deal of criticism,
Worlds work on logic, not chaos. That's a fact, otherwise their can hardly be any level of consistency at all and making sense is a daydream. It is silly of a writer to espouse logic in one area and silliness in another. What happens in the show, as far as I am concerned, is a difficulty arising from, at the very least, the following: multiple writers, trying to figure out how things should work with hooves without undermining the ability to churn out an episode, writing a show meant to get the viewer to relate to the pony (meaning they have to bear a certain similarity to us and things we are familiar with), and of course being confined to a 30min. show time.
A fanfiction author/writer is not under most of those burdens.
Equestria is not a magical land of impossibilities, it is a magical land of different possibilities. In any case, unless you are going to dispense with any sort of physics at all you have to settle on how things work. It's clear that some things are very similar to our lives. Gravity still pulls things down and behaves in the expected manner (objects have weight, holding stuff up is hard, etc). So, barring some highly unusual circumstances or clear stated oddities, it is generally reasonable/fair/safe to assume that Equestria could reasonably be a country on a spherical planet in a similar sort of universe.
What is a little too much is mixing science and magic in a way that makes no sense. All technology relies on previous development and presumably all spellwork relies on past experiments with magic. Having a microwave identical to ours with no technological path behind it to support it's existence in the first place is ridiculous. It's a bit of a patch job, but you can make everything magitech, but unless you have enough regular tech or information about the universe it would be difficult for magical equivalents to our devices to be conceived of or created, much less provide such magic powered devices to everypony.
5325413
It was not my intention to be insulting, if that's what I should understand from your reply. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same level of understanding. And to be certain of that, I have to know that there is agreement on what something is, like a microwave. There's a real difference between a lack of understanding science and not thinking about it, and just including things that make no sense because it's easier to write that way.
5328619 Dude, you're thinking WAY to deeply into this. And to think this argument started because of something as trivial as a microwave oven.
5328619 I will post this here, it was a rather interesting read on the technology in Equestria. After reading it, I honestly don't think the presence of a microwave oven is that big of a deal. In fairness the article covers up to season three, and doesn't include season four.
We should also not forget that all of our fictions are based or roughly based upon the show. As for the microwave oven being too modern, it should be noted that it was introduced in the 1960s—over fifty years ago.
As for hooves and their practicality with finer dexterity of fingers, this should not even be an issue with MLP. As I've seen it, their hooves are only as solid as they need to be. Otherwise, yeah, more than half of what the ponies do in show and in writing would be completely impossible. It is just one of those things you just accept as is and move on. I learned my lesson with "Feeling Pinkie Keen" it is best not to dwell on things in MLP. It tends to lead to spontaneous self-combustion.
I can understand if it is something that bothers you, but that is not something I can really help with. That is something you will have to work out on your own.
i still cannot understand how mafioso wants to kill a random mare that saved a kid on a fire, he seems more rational than that.
are we missing something here?
5329868 It was his organization that started that fire in the first place. Plus, he doesn't like having heroes in "his town." Plus, in case, you haven't noticed yet, he's kind of a dick.
5330718
Major one really, surprised he can put up with the police existing. Guess he doesn't want anybody higher up and more effective than them on the job.
5329244
I'm not thinking way too deeply, you're writing way too shallowly. You set boundaries on how the shadow "magic" works and yet you want to include microwaves without any real foundations or any hint at all of pre-existing technology that would lead to it.
5329270
I honestly couldn't give a single damn about their opinions. As I noted before, consistency in a fan work is up to the author not the canon. Just because the canon is mucky that way doesn't mean that fanfiction can't or shouldn't be more consistent. The 1960s is still very recent even in the scope of western civilization. The U.S. is younger than most of the western european nations by several centuries at the very least. -- Additionally the canon writers play fast and loose with things as I noted above. If they had the leisure of more time to work on it, I think they'd try a little harder.
Nothing leads to spontaneous self-combustion. It bothers me a bit, but I have no need to work anything out. Nevertheless, I have a certain degree of dislike for fanfiction authors who try to use the show as license to squeeze anything they feel like at the moment in on a whim particularly when It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make good writing, even if the story as a whole is fun to read.
Plenty of stuff shouldn't work and I suppose that, on one level, I'd be a lot happier if didn't. Strange behavior from a few ponies I can take, even Discord, but I feel that non-magic technology and even that based on magic has to have some rules. Technology as a rule works on scientific principles, which must be true and known for that technology to even be considered or invented. Magic must have rules too or you might as well just magic away any inconvenience which makes for something of a lame story.
Ignoring even semi-realistic restrictions on ponies devalues them being ponies. Perhaps I've forgotten or not noticed, but is there ever a discrete moment where a non-unicorn is holding a teacup that's obviously designed for hands or some kind of fingered appendage? I would not be surprised much by a lack of consistency in that department. It's implied and maybe mentioned somewhere that earth ponies don't have the fine manual dexterity of a hand and lose out to a unicorns improved ability in that department via magic.
5332491
Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. Really, it is not worth being riled up about. You honestly stated that you don't care about other opinions but then state your own and expect it to be taken with the upmost seriousness. That is called a double standard and things simply don't work that way.
I beg to differ.
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Would you honestly want us to take the time to write out an explanation on how microwave ovens would work? That seems like pointless fluff that has absolutely no importance on the story what so ever. Wouldn't an author's time be better suited to writing content that actually has meaning to the plot, characters and scene?
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Edit: Forgot to mention one point.
Again, please calm down. The shadow magic was set there to limit the hero and give realistic weakness to a character. Without it, the character becomes a Mary-Sue. Also, the shadow magic will actually have importance in the story, where as a microwave oven won't.
5332597
5328619
Seriously, this all started because one guy got butthurt about a microwave.
5333793
You obviously don't know what "butthurt" looks or sounds like, cause this isn't it.
5332597
The point is simply that I disagree with them and their view of things. As such, I don't take it into consideration in my own thinking. They are not some authority that you can hold up to justify something, just another source of opinion. That's hardly a double standard.
Sure, if you discard reality altogether along with any pretense of such, then sure, anything can happen.
The author's time would be better spent inventing a creative solution or way for the character to make their dinner quickly than plopping in a cheap, real world reference which is completely out of context and whose existence in world doesn't make any sense. A pony would probably just to some cheap takeout restaurant. The existence of pre-made, pre-packaged ramen is, in and of itself, questionable. What I'm saying though is that you should do more early onto emphasize the level of technology that is average before inserting a microwave. Without the proper underpinnings it feels really out of place.
I wasn't criticizing the limits on shadow magic. I was attempting to contrast the avoidance of a Mary Sue with the inclusion of tech that doesn't really fit in. In our world, thugs had guns, maybe even machine guns long before microwaves were common.
5335136 Dude. It's a microwave oven in a fan-made story about a cartoon about a world of magical, talking horses. Get over yourself and look at your comments. You're butthurt about a fucking microwave. So I used a real-life object in my story. Big deal. I didn't feel it was necessary to add in anything that would distract me or Zodiacspear from the actual plot of the story. No one has to conform to your specific ideas of what the technology of a fantasy world is capable of. At least I haven't given anyone guns. Then we'd have an argument. You don't have to like it. Just live with it.
5335136 Moving on.
5335136