A story about Princess Luna and the struggles she faces in Seasons 1 & 2
Chapters (1)
Gaylord The Decider
Joined 11th Sep, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Gravitiaxis · 57k words · 358 25 · 13k views
- Alex Warlorn · 79k words · 205 9 · 5.7k views
- BlindBlossom · 3.5k words · 60 6 · 4.3k views
- WardenGage · 2.9k words · 58 9 · 2.8k views
- HiddenUnderACouch · 200k words · 218 10 · 4k views
- MintMetal · 5.1k words · 88 3 · 2.1k views
- Dragryphon · 40k words · 72 2 · 4.6k views
- LessThanHuman · 74k words · 93 7 · 2.7k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.089 seconds
Total duration
1,091 users online
2,041,754 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
There needs to be at least one line break here, to separate the paragraphs.
This is the same cover art I have for one of my stories
How was the story overall?
5156084 Done. Better?
5171825 Definitely, though I do see some areas that could be improved.
"Luna has always been an introverted kind of person."
You should change that to pony for better immersion.
There are also a few grammar mistakes throughout the story, but that appears to be a part of your writing style. So, no big deal there, though it is rather unusual to read.
Honestly, I quite enjoy the story, even though it reads like more of a poem than a traditional story. I assume this was done to help strengthen the deep emotional messages you were portraying. You handled Luna's struggles quite well, though some parts seemed to be a bit rushed. I would have greatly enjoyed if this story were longer, as right now it seems rather short and to the point. This isn't exactly a knock against your story, but more against my own expectations. Really, I want more, and this was just too short to deliver.
As for your recent blog article? Really, don't let this community get you down. We're all here to read and write fantastic content, and wish to see a community that's constantly improving.
While I've personally written a story that was hated by practically everyone, I took the feedback I received to heart, and worked on improving myself to write better and more engaging content.
To be honest, I still believe that the community was wrong with their opinion of my story, and that they just didn't give it a proper chance. However, I still took what was said to heart, and used the feedback to further improve myself as a writer.
Because of that, my two most recent stories are liked by practically everyone that has had the chance to read them. I literally went from a story with a negative 30 rating, to a story with a positive 26 rating, with only 5 negative votes. I also have a story with absolutely no negative votes.
So, even if a couple of your stories end up being disliked, or if people don't share your same artistic vision of what makes a story a story, never, ever let that get you down. All it takes is a single story, and you may just find yourself with hundreds of new and loyal fans.
If you ever want any suggestions for story ideas, or if you want any tips on writing engaging stories, just send me a PM. I really like your writing style, and would love to read more of your stuff. It would also be extremely awesome if you created a type of series. Something to keep people coming back for more. I know I for one would enjoy reading it.
5171869 the story was edited by my good friend and he fixed grammar mistakes. He didnt fix anything huge and he also told me that it should be longer and yes it did have poetry in it because irl I write dark/depressing poetry to help me. So I used it in this story to define Luna and her struggles.