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The Darkness Returns

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Cobalt Storm

Cobalt Storm #1 · Dec 2nd, 2015 · · · A Mystery ·

This chapter was fun to read, and I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story.

Found some errors.

"They One day the royal family..."
"...never met nor heard of, a unicorn who named..." - comma should be a dash.
"yeah I think I'll pass..." - capitalization.

Other stuff.
"The cover itself was a mystery to Twilight as she had never seen, nor felt a cover such as this." - ok...what does it look like and whatnot?
"Twilight guessed that the room must of been vacuumed sealed, thus keeping the room practically in suspended animation from when the last visitor was her, whom Rarity guessed was Celestia due to..." - this sentence structure is confusing. You might want to split it in two.

Agent Maine