- Member Since 16th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen January 13th
JonOfEquestria
PS: Formerly 'Jonshine' - changed to match an available email address, JonOfEquestria [at] googlemail.com
JonOfEquestria
Joined 16th Oct, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TAW · 11k words · 576 17 · 14k views
- PhoKingAzn · 1k words · 37 33 · 2.2k views
- pjabrony · 2k words · 196 21 · 7.5k views
- PotatoJoe · 3.5k words · 41 5 · 2.3k views
- PurpleRibbon · 1.7k words · 48 4 · 2.1k views
- CosmicAfro · 1.9k words · 37 10 · 1.6k views
- PrometheusDark · 6.6k words · 84 5 · 5k views
- Diamond Sparkle · 4.5k words · 43 6 · 3.5k views
Featured In9
The Writers' Group56,342 stories ·9,285 members
- The GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE899 stories ·1,058 members
- Author Support4,367 stories ·2,069 members
- Selfcest is the Best Cest158 stories ·661 members
Queen Chrysalis's Changeling Swarm2,758 stories ·3,959 members
- Changeling Queen Chrysalis137 stories ·165 members
- Queen Chrysalis's Feeding Grounds1,389 stories ·1,421 members
The Queen of Lust130 stories ·304 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.254 seconds
Total duration
1,076 users online
2,060,798 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Looks promising, was pretty enjoyable to read
, i already can see her heart being breaked 
Poor trixie
Well isn't this one of the greatest crack pairings ever.
I can already see where this is going. I think I'm in love.
Well, they are voiced by the same VA. Same VA pair-ups are nothing new. Heck, why do you think there are so many AppleDash stories?
Okay, I'm hooked! Trixie's POV is hilarious (and then quite sad)
"More equine..." loved that line.
1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg
Give us MOAR!
That was a hoot!
This should be an interesting meeting.....once the queen regains consciousness.
Trixie x Trixie shipping? Or will it actually turn into Trixie x Chrysalis?
Tracking this, looks good so far
"Her precious bodily fluids would leak from her corpse..."
"Her precious bodily fluids..."
"PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS.
i.imgur.com/fCXmG.jpg
Instantly tracked and instantly thumbed.
HUZZAH! More good Chrysalis writing!
*looks at glaring mistake*
...I do believe you meant tomes when Trixie was talking about her (either destroyed or stolen) books. Tombs...how does one own multiple tombs? XD For a brief moment, I thought Trixie inheirited a graveyard.
Hey,
Thank you all for your overwhelmingly positive responses! Anypony's welcome to point out mistakes, or to offer some critique, though, as I wish to develop as a writer.
516099
Lars, you are quite correct. Fixed, thank you.
502912
Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. Yes, well. The reference was intentional, and it does get a little 'cloppy' towards the end of the second chapter, I suppose...
492503
'Trixie x Trixie shipping? Or will it actually turn into Trixie x Chrysalis?': Oh, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just a typing-slave to the Queen Chrysalis and The Great and Powerful Trixie who live in my head (more strictly, I used part of my brain to model how I thought their brains would work, but a model of a brain is itself a brain, and like Dr Frankenstein I lost control of my creations...).
492256
Your MOAR, delivered as ordered.
490961
'"More equine..." loved that line.': I probably stole it from somewhere.
490661
"Okay, I'm hooked! Trixie's POV is hilarious (and then quite sad)": It turns out you can pastiche Trixie easily enough, and she'll come out like in the show. But if you actually try to write the Trixie in the show, you quickly find the scared, lonely little filly behind the cape (or maybe she just trixied me).
490494
"Well, they are voiced by the same VA. Same VA pair-ups are nothing new. Heck, why do you think there are so many AppleDash stories?": You learn something new every day.
490408>>490190>>490375
I'm glad you all like it.
490111
"Poor trixie , i already can see her heart being breaked": Into tiny pieces all over the floor. Or maybe Chrysalis won't let me. She doesn't like it when I try to take her stuff, and she really doesn't like when I break her stuff, and she tells me I really wouldn't like her when she's angry...
Yours,
JMH
At first Trixie was like
, but then Trixie went 
and then
It all makes sense now, no?
Brilliant chapter, I like seeing Trixie's love for herself turned to Chrysalis's advantage and Sinisteed's bit was really good
.
.......................
yum.
trixie sandwich
Hey,
Glad you liked it! Separately, good news! Somepony - somepony who is not actually a pony - was kind enough to copyedit these chapters for me, and there have been a number of improvements. Mostly in the direction of fixed spelling and grammar, so if you gave up in frustration after the first paragraph - I would've - then you may, if you wish, wish to try again.
JMH
Hey,
518241
You're going to have to unpack that 'going theory' for me a bit. I can sort of see how Trixie could be a changeling - she travels from town to town and seems almost pathetically needy for ponies to like her. But how does Pinkie Pie fit in?
JMH
518904
Okay. I see where the theory comes from, anyway. But I'm more in the direction of believing that if Pinkie Pie really wanted to conquer Equestria... she could. Anyhow, I'm going to bed now, so who knows what'll happen when that idea ruminates a bit. And it would make a lot of sense of that 'I've seen better' line - in the mirror every day, for example.
JMH
519059
Are you pitching this to me, or are you saying you're going to do it (not that the two are necessarily mutually exclusive)?
519026
I always thought she was some sort of accidentally mindwiped chaos god, ala Discord myself.
Pinkamena is HARDLY her most dangerous form.
It's when she PARTIES TOO HARDY that ponies are really gonna have to watch out for!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1shf6hTN01ro9en2o4_1280.png
Someone went and took that insanity to its logical conclusion, actually.
Haha holy shit what
Well, it's an interesting start... Let's see where it goes.
fim.413chan.net/fim/src/129726514635-It%27s_a_Trixie_World_.png
This Trixie is a fascinating mess.
(Why DID the swarm have to use their faces....?)
This story is great! Keep up the good work!
585723
Thank you so much (also, for being patient)!
JMH
Chrysalis nodded. She was going to kill them.
Yesssssss.
forgets how to love?
NEVER FUCK WITH THE QUEENS FOOD SOURCE!
their gonna dieeeee
That last line was chillingly badass.
And poor Sinisteed, what the fuck are you doing.
That part with the diamond dogs was just annoying.
You better have Chrysalis kill those idiots at the beggining of the next chapter.
586354
'That part with the diamond dogs was just annoying.'
Ah, can I ask you to elaborate on that? Were the characters annoying (slightly intended, since there is some intention to do violence to them in the next chapter)? Or was it that the writing itself was annoying? The way they talk is drawn from the show, but hearing something and reading it aren't equivalently frustrating, I find.
More simply: Should I tone the strange word choice and 'accent' down a bit?
Yours,
JMH
585937 i had the same reaction. XD
Loved the ending, , that last line was so amusing because of how deadpan it is. Can't wait for the next part. Also kinda suprised Cadence umm...made out with sinister. Kinda curious to find out why she did that since it seemed like she initiated it, not him, but it sounded like she didn't even notice it happening, hope to find out soon.
587832
Well, maybe a bit of
(yay) and a bit of 
(too far!)
Also, I recently added this to the 'author advice' folder, and received some insightful comments from 'HoovesLikeJagger'. So I went back and changed a few things. Particularly, I'd intended to write 'third person limited' perspective - i.e.we sit on the shoulder of a particular character for a scene, and the 'narration' is primarily their thoughts and what they observe. But in a few places 'third person omniscient' slipped in, when we were seeing more than one character's thoughts in the same scene. Hopefully, that's clearer now, and makes more sense of the 'dialog/internal monolog of the narration'.
I'm learning all the time, and still trying to improve as an author.
PS: I wouldn't suggest anypony go back and re-read the story, however - it's straightforwardly unnecessary.
Yours,
JMH
This story had an interesting idea but I was on the fence about it until this chapter. The character work for both Chrysalis and Sinisteed is excellent here, sympathetic and sinister simultaneously.
Sinisteed is awesome, Cadance is obviously a Changeling - she just doesn't know it yet.
Chrysalis is hilariously deadpan. Emphasis on dead, which is what's going to happen to those dogs. Preferably involving a frying pan, to make deadpan into a pun of some sort.
Changeling's can be inanimate objects too?
*eyes Skyrim disc warily*
was the mirror scene a reference to "smoke and mirrors"? or just a coincidence?
632161
In Chapter 2? It's something of a homage, yes. I thought I'd declared it explicitly at the tail of the chapter, but maybe not (I don't remember
). I know I'm missing more narrative debts than I'm acknowledging - no, wait, wait, that sounds bad. Let's call it 'laying easter eggs'. 
JMH
Holy tapdancing Jesus on a jackhammer.
Wow....
And some cribbing from Pratchett as well, I see
This story is turning out to be really thriling!
Poor Trixie, I wonder, as I've said many times lately, WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!
Great job!
I. I am so very impressed.
This is so good.
This is getting messed up!
AND AWESOME.
faved and liked.
Just thought I'd ask is this bit "or ruled by the shadowy cabal of Elements led by the nefarious Twilight Sparkle and enforced by the brutal Applejack." based on anything? because that sounds kinda awesome and I'd like to read it.
You know, the greatest proof that Chrysalis doesn't understand Trixie is probably when she spares a Diamond Dog for her sake and then goes on with this plan. Oh, the cannibalism may have been necessary, given a lack of food and a need to fight soon. But she didn't actually need to bring Fido's leg (or even cut it off, there was probably rope or something in the wagon) with a whole cooked diamond dog right there (and an uncooked one for Chrysalis). Not that I'm saying it was a bad plan or I disapprove, but just that as she doesn't understand surrender, she doesn't understand Trixie entirely and it fits her character, which is ironic given her ability to sense emotions.
At least we know what Changelings eat when they can't get at love now. And it makes sense, given their fangs. Chrysalis probably needed them to tear the strips of meat off, otherwise it would have made more sense not to provide Trixie with a physical difference between them to go with all the mental ones.
Also, some of Trixie's mental comments on how the applejack was gone in the morning left me with a weird feeling she had either a thing for or a thing with AJ at one point.
Damn, this is awesome!
Also:
It'd felt good to indulge her natural changeling instinct for the old ultraviolence.
40kbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/a-clockwork-orange-alex4.jpg
Alex DeLarge approves!
This chapter has satisfied my bloodlust.
It was delicious, thank you!
632375 632394 632542 632749 Thank you so much!
632486 You know, I read your comment last night, and I was like: 'What? Pratchett? Where?'. It wasn't till I was falling asleep that I realised, 'oh, right, the bee-queen thing.' :derpyderp2
632923 'Is this bit "or ruled by the shadowy cabal of Elements led by the nefarious Twilight Sparkle and enforced by the brutal Applejack." based on anything?'
Well, it's quite common to see Twilight et-al opposing Princess Celestia where it's a tyrant!Celestia they're opposing. There's also a webcomic called 'Friendship is Betrayal' - where nopony's a good pony - which may have been an influence. As for singling out Twi, Trixie still has some issues over the ponyville incident. As for Trixie's issues with AJ, those belong to another place and season.
'Because that sounds kinda awesome and I'd like to read it.'
No kidding. Me too.
633706
Droog. (For those who don't get it, wiki 'A Clockwork Orange'. Then watch it. It's disturbing, but good).
633706
Chrysalis is creepy, and Trixie is 'a fascinating mess', as Charles Rocketboy said of the second chapter.
The lack of capitalisation on 'applejack' in: 'But beautiful travelling magicians and athletically handsome earthpony fillies went together like applejack and a long warm night in Trixie's caravan' is intentional, because she's referring to the hard-liquor made from apples called 'applejack'. Maybe I ought to make that more explicit - 'a bottle of applejack,' or something.
As for any feeling you're left with - 'I cannot confirm or deny that this story will contain flashback sequences to 'hawt' Trixie-(under)-Applejack-Action' - of course, to maintain plausible deniability, I need a general policy of sometimes evading questions even when I've nothing to hide...
JMH
635007
Damn... I was hoping that existed. I'll have to check out that "friendship is betrayal" though. Sounds kinda interesting.
Thanks for responding.