• Published 2nd Nov 2014
  • 427 Views, 12 Comments

War In The Dark - Lyraah



A rare blue diamond, a lost artifact dating centuries had found its way onto the hooves of a mafia boss. One pony will do anything to 'retrieve' the gem, all that she could, however illicit the means may be. But, there are two sides to this

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Act IX: Epilogue

War In The Dark

*** Epilogue ***

***


Minuette sat in the bar, taking an occasional sip from her coffee. Who orders coffee at a bar? She stared blankly at the newspaper which she so conveniently taken.

Upon scrutinizing a particular piece of news, actually, it was the headlines, but it still caught the detective by surprise. Minuette squinted and scanned the words quickly.

She slapped the paper on the table and picked it up again, feeling quite shocked and in utter disbelief at what presented before her.

'Mystery mare donates twenty million to the Children's Cancer Foundation'

Minuette laid back and shut her eyes. She really didn't know what to say, or think. Did Amethyst really donated about two thirds of her loot to charity? That thought made her want to know more about the mysterious mare's story. Sure, her means of 'stealing' and framing a mafia boss was a little too crazy, but her intentions were merely for good, even if Amethyst made a fool out of her in the process.

---

Minuette trotted down the busy street. It was evening and she had a large bucket of popcorn floating beside her. After all that, she needed a break, she needed time to think and reflect.

Minuette cantered to the bus stop, where a bus had already arrived at the stop. Clamping the bucket with between her teeth, she clambered onto the bus and quickly took a seat.

Just as she sat down hugging the bucket, something strange and miraculous caught her curious eye. Turning, she leaned on the seat and studied the commuter behind her. Minuette popped a popcorn in her mouth and continued studying the pony, as if it wasn't creepy at all.

Roseluck stared back at the unicorn, smiling affably. She shuddered a little.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I thought you were somepony else." Minuette nodded and beamed back. Roseluck returned her nod and smiled again, this time of a more shy disposition.

Minuette turned to glance at the shimmering necklace around her neck. It was really familiar, where had she seen this necklace before? Who was she kidding, of course she remembered. In the heart of the necklace was a magnificent blue gem embedded.

"Hmm, that's a pretty necklace, where did you get it?" Minuette casually asked, her thoughts were bouncing back and forth, trying to collect themselves but to no avail.

Roseluck held up the blue diamond delicately with both forehooves, admiring it keenly. She seemed really attached to it, Minuette could tell from her face. "A friend gave it to me, it's pretty cheap actually."

"Can I have a look?" Minuette inquired.

"Sure."

Minuette floated the blue gem closer to her face and studied it carefully, every groove, every shiny surface. This was it. The real Blue Diamond. Minuette couldn't help but smile at the thought of Amethyst being all romantic and crap. She doesn't look the kind, anyway.

"A gift from your marefriend?"

"Yeah." Roseluck simpered, blushing a little. The look in her eyes was heartening. Enough to convince Minuette that she was really happy for all it's worth. And deep inside, she knew Amethyst was too.

That's all that mattered. Despite her utter defeat to Amethyst, it was all worth it.

Minuette knew she would see the unicorn again. This time, she would meet her as friends, and not foes. However far-fetched it may sound, she held on to the hope of seeing Amethyst again.

Not today. Not now.

END

Comments ( 7 )

5315558

When I re-read that part, I'll have to admit it was a little weird and choppy in terms of pacing-wise. That was before you commented on this part. I edit my own stories so there's some parts I may not know how to change. I found it quite hard to jump from Amethyst's perspective to the part when Minuette was speaking to the security guard on duty. I tried to connect those two parts with a conversation on the phone, but it was really abrupt in my opinion. Thanks for the feedback though, I'll try and improve that section.

5361233 Honestly, I did not put Rose in just for the sake of it. It's hard to find somepony to fit in, if that made any sense. The reason why I did not elaborate more on the main protagonist is mainly due to the nature of her work, Fitting in any relationship-wise sections would be pointless as they might not serve to drive the plot further, which can be a drag and bore.

Thanks for reading and your honest opinions about my work. I'm currently working on a fic with a dense plot, which would hopefully allow readers to, like you said, genuinely care about their fates, especially in the atmosphere of that particular world. This is not my best work, oh no.

I went ahead to have a gander at your work, and so far, it has me intrigued.

P.S. What genre of literature do you enjoy reading? Pardon me for asking :yay:

5361999 I welcome the question. My favorite genre is either historical fiction or, believe it or not, sociological narratives. Some sociologists take the liberty to place their findings in a story format, which appeals greatly to my specialized taste for learning.

Also, I did not necessarily criticize Roseluck's inclusion in the story. If anything, she adds another layer of depth to a character and plot that would otherwise fit into stock archetypes. The love sub-plot is just a difficult element to incorporate into thrillers (you can ask disillusioned film critics why); however, like I said, it worked here splendidly.

As for the protagonist, perhaps give her time away from the case. I would have loved to see her interact with a friend after work who was not directly involved in the narrative or even read about her acting as any ordinary city dweller.

5363008 Historical fiction is definitely one of my favourite genres, especially if it incorporates some political and social aspects amongst the conflicts, I am a fan of novels like Romance of the Three Kingdoms and A Song of Ice and Fire as it really captures the notion of a world in constant tension and uprising. Characters are well drawn out and elaborated on, and it feels like every single character is believable. As such, you fear of their fates and the reactions of their peers and family. I am attempting to write such a tale using that atmosphere, hopefully, I'll be able to incorporate these themes well.

5364938 No easy task, but I wish you the best.

I look forward to your piece.

This story definitely captured my attention all the way through, good job :derpytongue2:. I think my favorite part would be the ending, through it could of been longer.

I really did not see the movie yet that was based on, so everything was unexpected, through maybe now I might look into the movie.

I also made a cover art for this, feel free to use it if you want to.

orig12.deviantart.net/f768/f/2015/220/c/2/war_in_the_dark_by_blazedsilver-d94tgor.png

6338683 Oh wow. Really not expecting a comment on this, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Picture is great, don't mind if I do! :rainbowwild:

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