Everypony is Drunk and Speaking Russian for Some Reason
Admiral Biscuit
Twilight, as was her norm, had her muzzle tucked in a book, while her five closest friends chatted around her. She would normally have paid them better attention, but she had become distracted by the glass bottle full of a clear, antiseptic-smelling liquid that was in front of her. Everypony had had a drink—Rainbow had gotten it from a friend of hers. Everypony, that is, except Twilight. She was determined to solve the mystery of the label, which was written in a strange script of all capital letters, some of them backwards.
The script, she had already learned, was Cyrillic, but the translation was proving more elusive. She was sure it was hidden just beyond what she was reading.
She flicked her ears in annoyance at a loud, quite unladylike snort from Rarity.
“Hey, girls, can you keep it down a little bit? I'm trying to read.”
“Не будь скучной” Fluttershy said, and giggled. Don't be boring
Rainbow leaned towards Twilight. “Выпей водки.” Drink the vodka
Twilight blinked at them in confusion.
“действительно дорогая,” Rarity gave a prim head-toss. “расширить свой кругозор.” Really, darling, expand your horizons
Twilight blinked at them. “I have no idea what you're saying.” She looked brightly at the bottle. “Ooh! Is it a liquid translation spell?”
“более или менее,” Pinkie assured her. More or less
“яблоки яблоки,” Applejack agreed. Apples apples
Twilight clapped her hooves together. She'd heard of such things before. She was more attuned to unicorn casting magic, but she'd begun grilling Zecora about potions—especially since Apple Bloom had an interest in them—and was never afraid to experiment with a new spell. While her friends watched, she brought the bottle to her lips and drank deeply.
As with most potions, it burned like fury when it went down. Twilight coughed lightly, and blinked as the whole room turned slightly off-kilter, before oscillating back to position. Her skin suddenly felt warm, while her hooves had moved an impossible distance down her legs. She focused on the ten expectant faces staring at her.
“это на вкус как ракетное топливо,” she said. This tastes like rocket fuel
"is really expensive"
"Drink the vodka"
how the.. what even...
HOW DID YOU WRITE THIS!?
Lol, I have my reading mode set to Dark, could see the translations right away. Thought I was just seeing things....
I... what... how... why???
Lovely.
I have been entertained.
I... uh...
Gg, bro, gg.
Apples apples.
I came here just for this chapter. Excuse me while I die of laughter!
Didn't need to look at the translation.
Сумеречная Искорка: Флатершай, ты куда?
Фалтершай: Мне надо пойти подоить медведя.
Сумеречная Искорка: Молодец! Вернёшься - я налью тебе водки!
Фалтершай: Лучше налей сейчас. Я отнесу её медведю - он будет лучше доиться.
Сумеречная Искорка: Хорошо, сейчас налью... а куда делась бутылка водки?!
Яблочная Джекки: Её взяла товарищ Пинки Пай.
Сумеречная Искорка: Куда? Зачем?
Яблочная Джекки: В подпол. Она там чистит Партйный Канон.
Сумеречная Искорка: Вот чёрт! Я ей говорила, Партийный Канон надо чистить бензином!!!
Раритет: Но Искорка! У нас нет бензина! Ещё вчера его весь выпила Радуга Дэш. Она сказала, это чтобы её радужный ядерный гриб был ярче.
Сумеречная Искорка: Чёрт! Что мы будем делать? Эта зима будет холодной! Штырь, мальчик мой, сходи на базу, укради побольше урана для нашего ядерного реактора! Когда вернёшься - я налью тебе водки!
Штырь: Будет сделано, товарищ Искорка!
КОНЕЦ... (ПОЛНЫЙ)
The Pre-Readers are behind all of history's worst ideas. :V
Hey look. It is my entire undergrad experience in a story
ЗаебиЗь