• Published 15th Oct 2014
  • 906 Views, 71 Comments

Everypony is Drunk and Speaking Russian For Some Reason - Admiral Biscuit


Four short one-shots about random events in random pony lives.

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2: Everypony is Drunk and Speaking Russian for Some Reason

Everypony is Drunk and Speaking Russian for Some Reason
Admiral Biscuit

Twilight, as was her norm, had her muzzle tucked in a book, while her five closest friends chatted around her. She would normally have paid them better attention, but she had become distracted by the glass bottle full of a clear, antiseptic-smelling liquid that was in front of her. Everypony had had a drink—Rainbow had gotten it from a friend of hers. Everypony, that is, except Twilight. She was determined to solve the mystery of the label, which was written in a strange script of all capital letters, some of them backwards.

The script, she had already learned, was Cyrillic, but the translation was proving more elusive. She was sure it was hidden just beyond what she was reading.

She flicked her ears in annoyance at a loud, quite unladylike snort from Rarity.

“Hey, girls, can you keep it down a little bit? I'm trying to read.”

“Не будь скучной” Fluttershy said, and giggled. Don't be boring

Rainbow leaned towards Twilight. “Выпей водки.” Drink the vodka

Twilight blinked at them in confusion.

“действительно дорогая,” Rarity gave a prim head-toss. “расширить свой кругозор.” Really, darling, expand your horizons

Twilight blinked at them. “I have no idea what you're saying.” She looked brightly at the bottle. “Ooh! Is it a liquid translation spell?”

“более или менее,” Pinkie assured her. More or less

“яблоки яблоки,” Applejack agreed. Apples apples

Twilight clapped her hooves together. She'd heard of such things before. She was more attuned to unicorn casting magic, but she'd begun grilling Zecora about potions—especially since Apple Bloom had an interest in them—and was never afraid to experiment with a new spell. While her friends watched, she brought the bottle to her lips and drank deeply.

As with most potions, it burned like fury when it went down. Twilight coughed lightly, and blinked as the whole room turned slightly off-kilter, before oscillating back to position. Her skin suddenly felt warm, while her hooves had moved an impossible distance down her legs. She focused on the ten expectant faces staring at her.

“это на вкус как ракетное топливо,” she said. This tastes like rocket fuel

Author's Note:

the translation was proving more elusive. It was hidden just beyond what she was reading.

Highlight after lines in Russian for the hidden translation.

This particular topic came up at Bronycon. I don't remember the context, and to protect the guilty, I'm not going to go back in my notes and find who's to blame, but it was probably an Equestria Daily Pre-Reader.