Dangersignal-The history

by The Stainmore Phoenix

The basics of my family

Now, me and my younger brother have never been good at telling stories. I mean, ours sounds pathetic on the face of it, but since you have asked, here it is.

Not many people or ponies know about the original Sombra that ran the Crystal Empire. He was the most meticulous, but fair ruler. Our father was a Crystal Pegasus named Fallen Axe who ran the local Blacksmith's shops; while our mother, a unicorn named Ribbon Waves worked as a diplomatic adviser.

I was born some seven years before the Princesses rose to power. I was born on Hearths Warming Eve, at 10:45:28 am. A year Later, on the same day, at 10:46:27 am, my brother was born. Call that what you will, I say I'm actually happy to have my little brother. While we may get into arguments and fight with each other, when push comes to shove, we are there for each other.

I was born a Pegasus while my brother was born a unicorn. It's odd, but not totally unexpected, considering our parent's main pony types. Many reading this would expect us to be Alicorns straight out, but that's a dream we know we can't achieve. However, something I didn't expect is that my mother's side is related to the fifteenth king of the Vampony Kingdom in what is now the Dragon Kingdom.

My father's side is related to the fifth Overlord of the Vampony Hunters which ruled the lands that have become Manehatten. How they came be me and my brother's mom and dad, we will never know. They claimed they fell in love so deep it was impossible to leave. Ah, if only Cadence were an Alicorn at this time, but alas, it is but a distant memory.

I still love them, even when they did things that drove me and my brother crazy, such as asking Celestia to be our foalsitter. How in the world that happened, I don't know. As for their expectation that we'd drive Celestia crazy, they were sorely wrong. We were perfect little angels and by that, we did all that she asked. I could hear her telling my parents that we were the best foals she's ever foalsat.

However, before we fast forward a couple years, I want to tell you something Celestia once told me and my brother, “That no matter how far your friends travel, no matter the terrain, they will come to aide you, even after they die.”

Remember that, my dear readers, for our story has only begun

Comments

[person10179]

Nice! I'm not even sure what to say, other than great job!

[The Stainmore Phoenix]

5136985 Thank you. I had scrapped the original Idea of him and his brother being evil and wanting to take over all of Equestria, mainly because it didn't appeal to me. (It actually made me physically sick). I hope you like some more stories that I have planned to come out sometime over the Christmas holidays.

[PonyJosiah13]

I took a look at this and well...

First of all, your writing is fairly solid grammar, and based on skill alone, you show great promise.

But as for the story, I think the problem is that it's just incomplete: there's really nothing in the story that makes me really relate to the characters. He gets kicked around a lot: but that's not enough for the reader to really feel any empathy for them. Maybe if the story had been longer (as in, several chapters as opposed to just a brief overview of his life), we'd be able to get a better feel for him. But with the story the way it is, your character just feels really incomplete.