• Member Since 30th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 7th, 2015

Hidden Brony

[8:05:09 PM] SpaceCommie: I'm biologically white, but I self-identify as black. I'd appreciate it if you'd refer to me as Tyrone


An ancient evil awakens, bringing a close to a thousand-year cycle. Hundreds of millions of years have passed since the first time this ancient Malevolence walked the earth, bringing with It the first feelings of true Fear. The very laws of reality bend and break in Its presence. Terror charges before It, and drives away all but the foolhardy. Those that run do so until they collapse of exhaustion. Those that remain fare worse, for where It walks, insanity follows. What It wants is a mystery. Where It’s going, unknown.

Unfortunately, the reality-warping nature of the Malevolence causes one of Rarity’s spells to go awry, trapping her in an unconventional prison of space and time rather than stone and metal. With the return of the Malevolence on the horizon, she has one week to fix what has been broken and stop It, once and for all. If she fails, she has to do it over, and over, and over again.

Oh, and she has no magic. No pressure.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 3 )

This premise should make me intense. Rarity crippled of her basic talents, forcing to used talents that aren't part of her normal selection. Facing dooms day. Facing the horror of futility as she tries again and again as she is indeed stuck in a hell with no escape in the conventional sense.

But after reading the MLP Loops stories . . . all I read when I see a premise involving ANY timeloop, is the one involved in the loop eventually becoming an overpowered god-mode-sue who memorizes every event, levels-up in skills that take several loops to master, (but they have all the time in the world) and by the end basically become unbeatable and canon baddies are just annoyances.

This story SHOULD get me revved up. But MLP Loops murdered my ability to enjoy these types of stories. I'm sorry. :-(

Despite the inherent power of a looping character, physically, I fully intend for Rarity to not be overpowered. It doesn't matter how strong she is, how good at fighting she is, and how easily she learns new things over many loops if that's not what's required to win in the end. Trust me, the power levels of looping characters is a little extreme, but most of them have a set goal and an easy way to go abou it. Have the "perfect day" so that nobody dies, do so by doing it over and over until you eventually have no choice but to do it right. Rarity won't have that.

I ask you to have some patience and stick with it; Rarity is going to be challenged, no matter how strong she is. There's absolutely no point giving a character power if they aren't going to need it.


Well, I'm intrigued. I look forward to more.

Login or register to comment