• Published 13th Oct 2014
  • 16,164 Views, 2,332 Comments

Dante's Little Apple Surprise - Tatsurou



Dante juggles fighting demons and raising a baby Applejack while trying to stay as laid back as he's always been.

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Summer Break 6.5

Dante was rather surprised when Applejack returned to Devil May Cry just before the start of Winter. Probably not nearly as surprised as Lady, whom he had assured solitude and privacy throughout the building on a day it was closed and had to rush upstairs when the door unlocked, though. Dante did his best to compose himself as Applejack entered, her head hanging low and her ears flat against her head. "AJ?" he asked, discarding his embarrassment as he saw how sad she was, walking forward to scoop her into his arm while his other held up his pants. "What's wrong? I wasn't expecting you until Summer."

Applejack looked up at him and sighed sadly. "Ah...ah got expelled again..."

Dante blinked at her for a time, then sat down and sighed. "Did you blow up the school again?" he asked jokingly.

"Yes'm."

Dante blinked for a time. "But...that's hardly an unusual occurrence at that school. I mean, you were there for when it blew up two other times that you'd mentioned."

"It was during school hours," Applejack replied. "Lotsa human witnesses. Kinda hard to explain that...especially since I was in pony Devil Trigger form."

Dante sat back, surprise writ large on his features. "Why?" he finally asked.

Applejack sniffled. "Ah...ah didn't react well ta rejection..."

Frowning, Dante's hands went to Ivory and Rebellion instinctively. "Who do I need to kill?" he demanded.

"...'tain't his fault..."

Dante stared down at Applejack's form, sorrow and heartbreak dripping from every pore. Sighing, he relaxed his grip on his weapons and pulled her into a hug. "Tell me," he said softly. He held up a handkerchief to her muzzle.

Applejack blew her nose noisily, then began her story. "Well...remember that boy I told you about who was at that 'all-girls school'?"

"The one you had to talk me out of transferring you because of?" Dante asked. "The pervy devil boy?"

Applejack nodded. "Yeah, him."

"You said he'd become a pretty good friend," Dante pointed out. "Him and that 'household' he was a part of."

"Yes'm," Applejack replied. "He was a bit pervy, but ah could see he had a real good heart. And...well...over the past few months since last summer, I...well..." She blushed brightly.

"You developed a crush on him?" Dante asked.

"Yes'm," Applejack replied quickly. "At first, I was gonna hold myself back, since he had all those other girls chasin' him...but then I heard about how he was tryin' ta become some sorta 'Devil Harem King', having lotsa girlfriends...and the other girls in that household seemed fine with that arrangement...and he certainly seemed ta love 'em all...so I thought, why not me too?"

Dante nodded understandingly, while inside he seethed with jealousy over this young man, wishing Applejack would let him use her heartbreak as an excuse to beat the crap out of him. "Did he feel the same way about you?"

"Seemed that way at first," Applejack replied. "He didn't reject my advances, and he was always happy when I showed affection...but I thought I should show him the truth before things went any further." She shrugged. "He already knew about the whole 'Child of Sparda' thing and all that...so I showed him..." She gestured at herself with her hoof. "...this." She started to sniffle again.

Dante could see where this was going. "And then he got...very polite?"

"Ee-yup," Applejack whimpered. "He...he couldn't love me like this...not the way I wanted him to...and, well...I kinda lost it..."

"Oh, you poor dear," Lady said as she came back downstairs properly dressed. She scooped Applejack up into a tight, warm embrace. "That must have felt so horrible..."

Applejack began to cry. "Mama!" she wailed, burying her face in Lady's shoulder.

Sighing, Dante stood up. Since he'd taken the time to fix his pants, he was able to wrap both arms around them to join the comforting embrace.


Several hours, cups of cocoa, a warm bath, and a potty break later, Applejack had more or less composed herself, and was eating her preferred comfort food...Dante's scratch made apple pie. While it would normally take a day or more to make it completely, Dante had used Geryon's power to take a quantum shortcut to compress the prep and cook time into three hours. Cooling, unfortunately, couldn't be accelerated.

"Feeling better now?" Lady asked as she gently stroked Applejack's mane.

"Yes'm," the young mare replied. "Just had ta get it all outta my system. I'll be okay now. At...at least I can stay friends with them all, and I don't have ta fight with them over his time anymore."

"True," Dante replied. "Rather forgiving of you."

"Can't really blame him," she pointed out. "Ah mean, he was born human, and I was born pony. That kinda relationship won't work if'n he don't find me attractive at all times...and most humans ain't geared ta find ponies sexy."

"Very understanding of you-" Lady's voice froze. "What do you mean most humans?"

"Ah don' wanna talk about it," Applejack replied, quickly and firmly.

Dante and Lady exchanged a glance. "You can take care of yourself?" Dante asked carefully.

"Yes'm."

"Fair enough," Dante replied. "So...now about what school I send you to next..."

"Actually, ah'd rather not go to a new school again," Applejack replied. "I was kinda thinkin' about opening up a restaurant."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Lady replied happily. "Any ideas about locations?"

"Right in front of an active hellgate," Applejack replied.

"I'm...pretty sure we closed all of them," Dante pointed out.

"Ah'll build a new one, then."

Dante and Lady exchanged glances nervously. "I doubt humans would want to eat at a place where demonic invasion is a constant possibility, no matter how good your food is," Dante pointed out.

"Then it's a good thing I sent Berial back to the fire realms with some free samples ta drum up some business," Applejack pointed out.

Lady blinked. "Wait...you want to bring demons to Earth...to feed them?"

"Well, Berial and Ifrit did say that for the bigger demons, one o' the big reasons ta come ta Earth is better food," Applejack pointed out. "Ah figure if one of the conditions of buyin' food from me is swearin' an oath on Sparda that they ain't caused trouble in the human world for the past year. The sword's already enchanted to eat anyone who swears a false oath in its presence, and it'll be hung over the hellgate, and they'll have to swear the oath to get through. Figure that might take a few big steps towards integrating humans and demons peacefully. Ah mean, demons and humans of other mythologies - like those in Japan - manage it. Why can't ours?"

Dante stared at her in disbelief. "You think you can tame demons...with your cooking?"

"Not tame," Applejack countered. "Civilize. I had a lot of fun competin' in the Rating Games, and I - uh, borrowed - the dimensional space technique they use to make the Arenas. Ah figured once a year I could hold a massive tournament where teams of four - human, demon, or other - compete in an elimination style tournament within one o' those spaces, so no one ends up dead, since they can be pulled out and healed before that happens. Since not causing trouble for a year would be a condition for demons to compete or watch, a big reward for any team who defeats the defending champions being advertised, and mah cooking served to spectators and competitors alike...I think it'll be a real huge event."

Dante stared at her, frowning. Lady had already leaned against the wall to steady herself. "So...what's the reward? And who are the defending champions?"

"Well, Nevan told me about this one artifact that - when charged with enough demonic energy - can grant wishes," Applejack pointed out. "Berial will be swinging by Gramps' vaults in the demon world to pick it up. I figure the tournament will provide more than enough energy for it." She chuckled. "And the defending champions...well, the team name's either gonna be 'The Spardans' or 'Devil May Cry'. Which da you prefer, Pa?"

Dante stared at her for a time...and then a manic grin spread across his face. "Genius!" he declared happily, snatching Applejack up off the table and spinning her around, laughing like a loon.

Lady sighed, rolling her eyes. I had to marry a battle junkie, she thought to herself. I wonder if anyone else has to deal with something like this?

Somewhere in Japan, Yukimura Keiko sneezed.

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