Dante grinned widely as he walked up 13th street, the piles of dust that had been demons until they crossed his path littering the street behind him until the wind blew them away. He was right about this being a great party, and he hadn't even made it to the tower yet! With his sword slung over his shoulder and his guns in the back of his red trench coat, he was completely relaxed as he made his way forward. As he saw the statue of the God of Time and Space, he knew he could relax. Hostilities were forbidden within the vicinities of such statues, enforced by the Will of Time and Space, which brooked no opposition and had no mercy...although it did, on occasion, grant gifts of power to those who offered the essence of their fallen foes in tribute.
As he approached the statue, however, he heard the roar of one of the scythe wielding minor demons he had been fighting on his way here. "Huh," he said, grabbing his sword Rebellion by its hilt. "Pretty bold to make trouble this close to the statue." Seeing energy fluctuating around the statue before flowing in the direction of the roar, he sighed, releasing his sword. "And it's being dealt with. Pity, I was looking forward to more fun."
A loud, high pitched whinny caught his attention, followed by a meaty thunk of a heavy impact against flesh. The demon he had heard roaring earlier came flying through a nearby wall in an abandoned one story building to crash into the statue of the God, where it was instantly incinerated. Noise still echoed from inside the building, the sounds of something small scrambling around.
"Well, that could be fun," Dante said with a grin, gripping one of his handguns, Ebony, in one hand as he entered. He didn't think he'd need both. Noticing movement behind a table that had fallen on its side, he rushed over. He kicked the table aside just in time to see the tail end of something scampering into an empty box that had formerly held bottles of beer.
He kept hold of his gun, though he now held it behind his back. While being small didn't mean whatever this was wasn't dangerous, it did imply that it might not be hostile. "Come out, come out, whatever you are," he whispered, approaching the box. Seeing it shake, he kneeled down near it, reaching in with one hand to grab whatever was inside.
Feeling teeth close around his fingers, he yanked his hand out. "Yowch!" he cried out, trying to shake whatever it was off his hand. When the pain persisted, he brought Ebony up to shoot whatever it was off his hand, only for his gun to be kicked from his hand.
Ignoring the pain, he held up his hand near his face to examine whatever had hold of his fingers. When something slammed into his eye, he brought both hands up instinctively to cover his face. However, in doing so he only succeeded in braining himself with the pony latched onto his fingers...although this did have the added bonus of making the tiny creature release his fingers.
As he rubbed his fingers, he heard the creature giggling in amusement, and he turned towards it to examine it. He discovered his first impression - that it was a pony - was mostly accurate, although it was the smallest pony he'd ever seen, about the size of a house cat. The extra large head and hooves relative to the rest of the body told him it was a baby, and something about it looked feminine. She was a bright orange in color, with a blonde mane and tail, both tied in a ponytail style. Her eyes were bright green, and she had white freckles. There was also what appeared to be a branding of three red apples on each side of her rump.
He stared at the creature for a time. "...that's a little pony," he said finally.
The pony in question babbled back at him with nonsense sounds.
He blinked. "That wasn't horse noises. That sounded like baby-babble. So...you aren't an animal of Earth, whatever you are." He scratched his chin. "But you don't appear to be a threat - didn't even damage my fingers - and I'd feel bad about killing a baby in cold blood, so you're free to go wherever. I've got a party to get to." Turning, he swirled his trench coat as he prepared to leave.
As soon as he took a step away, however, the infant pony began to wail, an ungodly noise that grated on Dante's ears.
Spinning, he grabbed Ebony from the ground and pointed it at the foal, holding it millimeters from her face. "Shut up!" he roared, covering one ear with his other hand.
The foal promptly stopped crying and proceeded to nom on the barrel of the gun.
Dante stared for a while, then put his gun away after wiping the barrel. He turned to leave again, but the foal immediately began wailing again. He spun back to face her. "What?" he shouted in exasperation.
She lifted her forehooves towards him, waving them, plainly telling him to pick her up.
He blinked. "Seriously? You want to come with me?" When she nodded eagerly, waving her arms again, he sighed. "Alright. So what's your name?"
"Abaja!" the pony said happily.
"Abaja?" Dante asked, scratching his head. Glancing around, he spotted a discarded bottle which proudly declared its former contents on the label. "Applejack?" he asked.
The foal nodded eagerly, waving her forelegs at him.
"Alright," he said, grabbing a discarded jacket and quickly reworking it into a carry harness. Picking her up, he plopped the foal into it, where she could cling to his back and look over his shoulder. "Just watch the teeth, okay? I'll have enough demons trying to bite me without worrying about you. If you really want something to bite, I'll give you some food."
"Abas! Abas!"
"...apples?" he asked. When she nodded, he sighed. "Alright. I'll see if I can't find you some apples." With any luck, he thought to himself, I'll find someone else to take her or at least somewhere to stash her.
First comment? Need to ask new or old Dante? Probably old but the be in nly played the new game.
5133583
Old. Right now it's the start of Devil May Cry 3, and will then go through 4, 1, and 2. The reboot will be ignored.
5133669 It's 3, 1, 4, 2. Trish in 4 was first met in 1. Either way, this definitely has potential.
5133769
Ah. I've never played 4 or seen a playthrough yet, so I only knew 3 was first and 2 was last, chronologically speaking.
Well I must say good sir you have my attention. I'd like to see where this goes. please continue
A loud, high pitched whiney caught his attention
1. Whinny.
I think my brain just can't process, we know it's a pony and Applejack sure but my brain keeps thinking we shouldn't have said it was a pony the first time before he discovered what it was... Though that's just my brain waking up after a two hour nap...
Wait, she has her cutie mark already? Hmm... FortressShy didn't have hers, can't remember Twilight, Pinkies one just started and wasn't mentioned... What sorcery is this?
I...really don't know what to say other than, "Where in Cthulhu's sweet, bulbous, and disproportionate ass crack is this story even going!?"
With all due respect (and by respect I do mean my absolutely low tolerance for disjointed dialogue and writing), I advise you intimately reacquaint yourself with the beautiful, buxom mistress known as grammar.
Please, if you can, try and rewrite this chapter with a few more descriptive points such as: The names of the demons he fights (IE: Hell Prides, Hell Vanguard, Hell Lusts, etc. Wikipedia is your friend), A bit more research on the devil may cry mythos and what a Divinity Statue is (And try to explain in a believable fashion as to why Demons don't gravitates towards those statues and WHY they are suddenly breaking this rule that you set up yourself), and please work on Dante's dialogue. It's just so bland and lacks the personality and snark that oozed from Reuben Langdon's voice.
I sincerely apologize for coming off as a pompous and pretentious dick, but it is my nature.
5134407 As much as it pains me to agree with anyone with this sort of attitude, you make a couple valid points. The grammar and voice do need work. I don't mind the lack of demon names, since Dante's not the type to give a damn about that, but I could see him maybe relaying them to Applejack at some point.
In the end, the main issue this all boils down to in my eyes is haste. I think that Tatsurou is enraptured by the crossover idea suggested to him, and is letting more slide than he normally does in his eagerness to write it. Once he calms down and starts taking his time, his work should reach your "pompous and pretentious" standards.
My apologies if I came off as a dick in return. You just rubbed me the wrong way.
Your concept of putting ponies in violent universes intrigues me. First Fortressshy, then this!? This gun be gud!
5136946
And how about putting Pinkie Pie in God of War?
5137043 Great idea! I heard you're pairing up Dash with Tony Stark. What the heck are you thinking!?
5137049
Having Tony facepalm because Dash insists on saying "It's time to Pony Up!" every time she dons her Iron Mare suit?
5137054 I just realized that the ponies and the universes you sent them to? They're polar opposites. The TF2 Mercs are cruel, I can guess that the truth is hard to swallow in the Dante May universe and the Greece where Kratos lives? Unforgiving. Also, Iron Man doesn't have a sense of loyalty. Then you send Rarity to live with Bruce Wayne and Alfred!? I don't see the connection.
5137134
>mfw a commenter sees depth in my stories I didn't.
>mfw I failed to keep it up in all linked stories.
And I suppose "Sparkle in His Eye" fits because we have the Element of Magic in a world that is heavily science with no magic whatsoever?
5137187 Finally, Twilight is paired up with Ratchet and Clank!? Not my cup of tea, but I'm impressed with the level design and voice acting.
5137231
Yup, that's that one.
5136270
No apologies necessary. I really do appreciate brutal honesty as I feel that it's one of the few icebreakers that can really help writers get their point across with one another. So yeah, perhaps I did come off as extremely nit picky and my attitude was undeservedly condescending, but I just hate seeing a story's potential practically snuffed out within the first chapter.
Also I love your name, you eloquent son of a gundam.
5137349
Truth to tell, it isn't so much rushing that leads to the shortcomings of this chapter.
The fact of the matter is, the timing of this story with the games kind of shoots me in the foot. I only have about 18 years of AJ's life to explore with her being raised by Dante. That's how long from the beginning of DMC 3 to the end of DMC 2, going by the chronological timeline. This means I have to have Dante go through the entirety of DMC 3 with baby AJ strapped to his back, as there's nowhere within the tower he could reasonably find her, but I need her to be with him for a certain part of the tower or I can kiss the entire story goodbye.
As for what you said about the monster names and the details regarding the statue, I'm going just by what is told to the player in the game itself as it is told, because - at least for DMC3 - the story is told from Dante's third person perspective...so any inconsistencies in physics - like how the God Statue works (the game refers to it as "the statue of the God of Time and Space") - is based in Dante's incomplete understanding of things, as he strikes me as the sort to only learn enough to keep from having his fun interrupted by untimely divine intervention.
Also, the only reason I even MENTIONED the statue was as a way that those playing the game would know where it was without saying "the room before you fight Cerberus", because Dante doesn't know he's going to fight Cerberus in the next room. For the rest of the story, Game Physics will be almost completely ignored.
5137373
I see. Well, finding out now that Dante's going to be raising AJ really does give me some hope.
Seeing how 10 years later DMC1 happens then 5 years later is DMC4, leaving 3 more years until DMC2
5137396
Yes. That's what this story is mainly about: Dante raising AJ. There will be quite a bit between games - both demon hunting and otherwise - as they interact. DMC 3 itself in this case is more about setting the stage for the story than anything else.
There are...three points in the game that are important to address as far as this story. Unfortunately, I have to get through the rest of it to get to them as one is a quarter of the way through, one is half way through, and one is at the end.
5137373 Of course, you COULD also deal with the anime, but then that opens up a whole OTHER can of worms.
Have a favorite, by the way, and a request for more.
5137445
The primary thing in the anime, according to my research, is the father-daughter like relationship between Dante and the Anime-unique girl he's hired to be the bodyguard of. That would interfere with the father-daughter relationship with AJ.
5137349 Thanks! You wouldn't believe how surprised I was that this name wasn't already taken.
5137373 Apologies for the assumption, it was a concern I had when I saw this and "You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter" posted on the same day. It sort of reminded me of how the first Thor movie wound up subpar because Marvel was pushing so hard to get everything ready for Avengers. Having just typed that, it occurred to me the potential epicness of this concept!
5137479
Actually, there is a little bit of rush as I want all the stories to pass moderation and be available for me to work on. That way I can write whichever one I find inspiration for at any given time.
5137487 Makes perfect sense to me. Good luck, and I look forward to this amazing ride.
Damn it Tatsu! Already another story you put out?! You're making me look like a lazy fuck for fuck's sake!
Now I HAVE to make time to update our story and my own stories! As if I didn't have enough bullshit to deal with!
I'm pulling your leg as always, my friend. I'm glad you put it out looks like your plans are coming to fruition. That leaves two stories to make, no? I gotta make it a point to read them as soon as I get some breathing room, but rest assured, they will be read and I will be commenting on them as well.
5139270
Yay!
Looking forward to your feedback.
Dante raising AJ! Dante raising AJ!....Okay knowing that Dante has to get paid by killing demons, he can't take AJ with him so he's going to need someone to babysit I would suggest getting that little girl from the animated series to watch her. Also, you need to take some time and PLAAAAANNNNNN this out and try your best, and HEY you should have this be set in the DEVIL MAY Cry animated series verse because it can provide some "pointers on how to develop Dante's character. I mean in the animated series his actions cost him his pay with his destructive actions. Oh and I don't think it would be a good idea to have AJ when she's grown up accompany Dante when he goes to "work".
5133669 Thank God; I don't like the reboot. This was such a funny and adorable start though I didn't expect her to have her cutie mark from the get-go. Meh, I'm not worried
...I can only imagine if this story would tie in with your FortressShy story
5140246
While those suggestions are interesting, by the time I reach the end of DMC 3 (the game), you will see that they are all invalid.
So, why did you even take her with you?
"Her name is Applejack, it's hilarious!"
Make another one, please?
I can already see Applejack cowering in fear the first time she meets Vergil, and by the end of it able to stare him down and buck him right in the groin.
I wonder if Devilled Apple tastes good. We supposedly have Defilled Ham and Defilled Eggs, but I've never tried them before so I don't rightfully know. Hmm...
Looks interesting. I will follow this.
Side note: why does evryone hate the reboot? If it wasent for the reboot i woldent even be here.
You know Vergil did the one thing Dante never could in canon.
5206145
And what's that?
5206148 Get laid, in the light novel Vergil had a one night stand with a prostitute on Fortuna, his son is the main protagonist of DMC4 Nero.
5206175
Ah.
Having AJ along may change that for Dante...
After all, an adorable pony calling you Daddy is a chick magnet.
5206183 As proven by fortresshy.
When can we expect MORE?!? I am extremely excited to see where this goes, if you couldn't tell by the previous sentence.
Leave it to you Tatsurou to parody stories like My Little Dashie with superheroes and video games lol
THIS NEEDS UPDATES!
Oh man such a funny story. Balls is all the weapon says
funnymama.com/store/130813/204215_v0_600x.jpg
Applejack, vampire hunter!
I have yet to find a good Dmc Mlp crossover... You have until Dante meets up with Vergil for me to decide if I'll keep reading or not... Mainly because I want to see Vergil's reaction xD
Is this the old DMC or the reboot?
5912302
Covering 1-4 in chronological order (3, 1, 4, 2), and ignoring the reboot save for a couple of jokes.
Old Dante or the reboot version?Really hope its not the reboot version that was a piece of shit supposedly...