Plague of Flood
Chapter 12 Plague Of Flood!
At the Bottom of the Saddle Lake, the ground start to shaking and split apart in two. Then, there are giant three tentacles come out from the depth.
In the meantime, the water of the Saddle Lake had become more salty and its start to grow larger and larger. The water had start to invading
into the forest and then, Ponyville.
In the Depth of the Saddle Lake...
"ROARRR!"
At the Edge of Canterlot...
"The Blue Serpent has arrive! The end had come! When the monster had its belly full!
Do everypony want it to eat us? Or want it to eat... Princess Twilight?!" asked Prokopion.
"Princess Twilight!" said Everypony.
Meanwhile at the Royal Palace...
"They all are shouting my name Cadance..." said Twilight and she's turn to look at face of her sister-in-law.
"I have to stop this!" said Twilight and she's turn back to walk but her older sister-in-law grab her shoulder.
"Twilight no! I can't let you do this!" said Cadance.
"Sorry Cadance." said Twilight and she's walk out from the balcony.
In the meantime, in the Sky of the Everfree Forest...
"Come on Luna! We have to hurry!" said Celestia.
"I'm right behind you big sis!" said Luna.
Meanwhile in Ponyville...
"The flood has begun!" said Derpy.
"Run for your life!" said Snips.
"Wait for me Snips!" said Snails.
The water start to growing larger and invading into many houses, shops and even the Marketplace of Ponyville.
In the meantime, Cetus, the Blue Serpent is finally reach of the surface of the lake and start to swimming follow
the river to waterfall that come down from Canterlot.
Meanwhile in Canterlot: the Royal Palace...
"Alright! Push!" said Spitfire and she, with the rest of the Wonderbolts, along with some Royal Guards are pushing
the gate to against the mob led by Prokopion from going inside the Royal Palace to kidnap Twilight. But then, the mob win.
Then, Princess Twilight appears out from thin air before all of them.
Later at the Edge of Canterlot...
"WOO-HOO!" shouted Prokopion and his followers as they are holding Princess Twilight in their hands and bring her to the shrine.
"Now... tie her up!" said Prokopion and he's and his followers tie Twilight up and drop her on the shrine.
"Lucifer! We offers you Princess Twilight... to worship you!" said Prokopion.
When the Blue Serpent come very close, its disappear in the depth of the river. Then, a giant tentacle come out
from the river and following by the other tentacles of the Blue Serpent.
"ROARRR!"
The tentacles of the Blue Serpent hit at the walls, the towers and many houses in Canterlot to broken.
Meanwhile at Mount Olympus...
"Equestria had face the Plague of Flood now! Did you feel stronger my brothers?" asked Lucifer and he's walk closer to his three brothers.
"You all believe that Cetus will make the mortals pray for all Olympians. But Cetus is my pet, its helping me only!"Said Lucifer.
"I am the ruler of Olympus! And Hades is your boss!" said Zeus.
"Remember who you are serve at!" said Poseidon.
"NOOO!" shouted Lucifer and he's shoot red beam from his horn to force them to can't stand up from their thrones.
"I'm serving myself only! You! Throw me into the Underworld!" said Lucifer and he's turn to look at Poseidon.
"And you do nothing to help me!" said Lucifer and he's finally turn to look at Hades.
"And you treat me as a slave to do your dirty works!" said Lucifer.
"We all need love of the mortals!" said Zeus.
"No! That are you three and the others need! I live with their fear and pain! The thrones of three
of you had been fallen now! And finally! You three will know the pain I have!" said Lucifer.
"But there still have Olympians live in Equestria, my brother!" said Hades and Lucifer disappears in red smoke.
"Apollonia!" said Zeus.
"Artemis!" said Hades.
In the Sky upon Canterlot...
"Here we are!" said Luna and then, below them both, Lucifer appears in the thin air and flap his wings hard one time
and unleash the Furies out from his wings and send them to go after the first two Princesses of Equestria.
"Sister! Furies! Behind us!" said Luna and she's throw a pouch with head of Medusa to her older sister.
"ROARRR!"
One of the Furies fly out from the pack and take the pouch of head of Medusa out from hands of Princess Celestia.
"Follow that Fury!" said Celestia and she's fly after the Fury that took the pouch away from her with her sister.
"Let me handle this!" said Luna and she's shoot blue beam from her horn to the Fury, killing it and she's take the pouch from its hand.
"Thank you for holding it for a while!" said Luna.
"No time for joking Luna!" said Celestia and she's fly to the place where Twilight is being hold.
The other Furies are flying follow them but Princess Celestia shoot yellow beam to two of them and burn them alive.
"There're only ten of them now!" replied Celestia and then another Fury had come and take the pouch of head of Medusa away again.
"Not again!"Said Luna and she's fly follow the Fury that stole the pouch from her with her sister. Then, they arrive in the Marketplace
and then the Djinns had riding the Scorpiochs with two Griffon brothers are appear and killing all Furies that are follow them.
"Hey Princesses!" said Ozal.
"Hello!" said Kucuk and the Princesses turn to look back at them and see they both and Djinns are enjoying about killing the Furies.
"AAHAHAHAHAAAA!" laughed Ozal and Kucuk.
The Princesses fly out to the river where the Blue Serpent is swinging its tentacles around to destroy everything around it.
The only surviving Fury is still holding a pouch with head of Medusa with it but the Princesses are finally grab it,
zap with their magics and throw it to the pit of fire near the shrine where Twilight being hold.
Then, the Blue Serpent had finally pull it's head out from the water, revealing its cobra-like turtle head that have tentacles around the mouth.
The the rest of body of Cetus has been reveal to the whole entire civilians of Canterlot, even everypony in Ponyville are seeing how the hideous of serpent is.
"ROARRR!"
The Princesses quickly fly to the shrine where Twilight is. Then, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance arrive with four Royal Guards to rescue their little sister.
"You can't come and distrub-" said Prokopion and he was knock out by Princess Cadance.
"That! For kidnapped my little sister-in-law!" said Cadance and Shining Armor orders his guards to take Prokopion to jail.
"Thank you for help." said Celestia and then Cetus show its face to all of them at the shrine and attempt to eat Twilight.
"ROARRR!"
"Oh no! Sister!" said Luna and Celestia quickly gives her younger sister a pouch of head of Medusa.
Princess Luna opens it and show head of Medusa with her eyes open to the Blue Serpent.
"ROARRR!"
Cetus, the Blue Serpent is now slowly becoming a stone statue and died. Then, the whole statue of the Blue Serpent start to cracking
and fall into the river and one of tentacle of Cetus accidentally destroy the shrine and Twilight fall down with it.
"Twily!" said Shining.
"No!" said Cadance when she's see Twilight as in unconsciousness fall down. Then, Sonic Rainboom appear in the sky and come down and take Twilight.
"No worry Twilight! I got you!" said Rainbow Dash and she's fly down before the Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
Then, Discord and all of Twilight friends, along with Sheikh Suleimare appear out from the thin air.
"Princesses!" said Rarity and she's run into the group with her friends.
"Is she okay?" asked Applejack.
"Karukaguma." said Sheikh.
"That which mean he can heal her," said Fluttershy.
"BOOM!"
Lucifer appears out from the thin air with red smoke.
"I am a God! I will live for eternity like you! Children of Zeus!" said Lucifer .
"But not here!" replied Celestia and Luna and they both form a bow and arrow for each of them
and shoot arrows to him and he was being push into the underwater in the river and send back to the Underworld.
"It's over..." said Luna.
"For now." said Celestia.
Later in the evening, under the Waterfall of Canterlot...
"BOOM!"
"Olympus had owe you a lot. Especially you two, my daughters," replied Zeus.
"We don't thinking about that you three will reconsider offer of your father," said Poseidon.
"Well... can I have a moment with Apollonia and Artemis alone?" asked Hades.
"As you wish, my brother," said Zeus and he's walk away with Poseidon and Discord.
"I brought this for you two," said Hades and he's give them a scroll.
"What is it?" asked Celestia and she's open a scroll.
"An apology that I, too shame to speak to both of you," said Hades while his nieces are reading a scroll.
In the Scroll...
"I have no intention of hurting you two or separate you two apart. When your father Zeus ordered me to
create the Plague of Darkness. I don't know how to do except must set your grandmother, Phoebe free.
And to make sure that she played her part. I destroyed her physical form so she can curse the inhabitants of the Moon
and possessed into the body of Artemis to turn her into a monster. As your uncle, I am very sorry."
Princess Celestia's roll up the scroll and turn to look at Hades in shock with her younger sister, they both are shock from did they just see before them.
"C-Ca-Can you... for-forgive me?!" asked Hades as that he bend down himself to the ground in shame, sadness and the tears are coming out from his eyes.
"Uncle Hades..." said Celestia.
"Please... stand up..." said Luna and Hades stand up as they asking for. They both hugging Hades as comfort and forgiveness.
"We both forgive you uncle." said Celestia.
"BUT! Don't... do... it... ever again!" said Luna.
"I won't do any harm of you ever again my nieces."Said Hades and he's turn to look at Zeus and Poseidon.
"We shall reconsider about not sending the Plagues to Equestria." said Poseidon.
"Thanks..." said Celestia.
"As reward for mine, I will cancelled the law about can't let the others have the contact with you,"Said Zeus.
"Thank you father," said Luna.
"And this is from mine..." said Hades and he's disappear in the black smoke while Poseidon turns into the water and Zeus transform into an eagle and fly away.
Then, there are two glowing light appear nearby. One was turn out to be mother of Discord, Eris. Another one is Leto, mother of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
They all run to hug their mothers for first time in many centuries.
"I'm sorry mom," said Discord.
"I'm glad to see you Discord!" said Eris.
"We both miss you mom!" said Celestia and Luna.
"Me neither, Apollonia... Artemis... my daughters..." said Leto.
They all fly to Canterlot and introduce their mothers to everypony in Canterlot and tell them about their adventure from the desert of Saddle Arabia to the Underworld.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- IceDragonKing · 15k words · 11 18 · 940 views
- IceDragonKing · 8.2k words · 15 7 · 712 views
- IceDragonKing · 6.8k words · 19 8 · 1.8k views
- IceDragonKing · 12k words · 21 12 · 1.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
851 users online
1,250,260 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
5140745 I also wanna ask the same too! Why almost of everybody dislike my story? I am even have plan for a sequel!
5141209
....... Anthro characters? I diddint dislike, but i hit the back button after i read the anthro warning.
That 'anthro warning' is just what I told you guys. You don't have to take seriously!
And I bet that 'back' button' is mean the button with thumb down isn't it?
If you present a description like this:
then you tend to scare people away, or make them dislike the story instandly, by the sheer amount of grammar mistakes.
The first sentence alone doesn't make an ounce of sense in its constellation.
What is the author trying to say here?
"This is the story of the Alicorns," fine so far
"or should be known as the Olympian gods", what does that mean? What is he referring to with 'or'?
A. Does this mean the Alicorns are known as the Olympian Gods?
B. Does this mean the Alicorns are supposed to be known as the Olympian Gods?
C. Is the story of the Alicorns supposed to be known as the story of the Olympian Gods?
The first sentence alone is messed up, but it doesn even end here, as he continues with another 'or':
What? It doesn't make any grammatical sense.
The first information we pick up is, that the gods revealed themselves to the ponies, but then what?
"or they called as the mortal ponies"
What does he even mean here?
A. The gods called for them as mortal ponies and exclaimed their godhood?
B. The ponies called out for the gods, and they reveled themselves as mortals?
C. The gods called for the mortal ponies, and the mortal ponies recognized them?
It just isn't even slightly clear, what information exactly was meant to be transfered, to us readers.
And the grammar mistakes, wrong and missing adjectives and such, go on and on and on.
I'll take a look at his first chapter.
5150817
Answer of the Number 1 is B.
Answer of the Number 2 is A.
But if you want me to fix it. I'll do it.
5140745
Are you kidding me?
I read the first chapter and what do I find in the first line of the story itself, describing the setting?
2 mistakes in one sentence.
"at Tautarus" is plain wrong. Not even mentioning that setting the stage with such a short introduction is lazy, besides Tartarus was written Tautarus.
"The Underworld: Domain of Tartarus"
There much better.
But it doesn't stop, next error already comes 4 lines further ahead.
He mixes present "asks" with the pasts' "had", not to mention the 's' after 'ask' was unnecessary since more then a few people were questioned, which means it's plural.
Correction:
"Zeus had asked us to do"
Those are 4 grave errors in just 5 lines since the beginning of the first chapter.
But the next error is right ahead!
Lucifer's refers to a possession/belonging of a subject that follows, like "Lucifer's baseball" or "Lucifer's book"
It's his "book" and his "baseball", but not his "disappear" since that is an adjective. Additionally 'disappear' is written in the wrong time yet again, it should have been 'past tense'.
Correction:
"Lucifer disappeared from the throne room (<needs to be lower case), in a cloud of smoke."
Additionally another mistake was made in the description of the room.
When he made clear that the setting is the Tartarus in the Underworld, he didn't even mention the room.
So for the first sentence of this entire story, it may be better to write:
"Location: Tartarus in the Underworld, the Throne Room."
To clarify that it takes place in that specific room.
Then again, I don't even think Tartarus has a throone room, since it's supposed to be a certain section of the underworld, which is a prison/dungeon for the most vile of creatures...
And the mistakes go on and on, even in the next sentence after the last one:
"Hades don't you think Zeus has gone too much far?"
It's supposed to be "gone much too far"!
And the sentence after that:
...Wrong! It's supposed to be "Without the ponies praying for the Olympians, we will all die. And everything that we have done, all what we have created, will be gone as well."
And it doesn't stop there, so 5140745 what you said is just not true.
There are masses and masses of errors in this story. The Narrator is filled with mistakes and the dialogs are as well.
5150893
And you want me to fix it right? At first, I was just do at what I am understand. I don't even know that it is wrong!
5150844 The way I see it, you would need a proofreader with a lot of time to fix this, and I mean the entirety of all the chapters.
5150911 I done my best now. It may be not good enough. But hope that you and the other guys that I accidentally scare away will understand me. I am good about speaking in English but typing and writing are on the other hand. I can't do without the examples.
All I wanted is just being awesome. If you guys are go no mercy on me, I don't care about that. At least I am done my best now.
OK, I am removing this story because it breaks the rules of Canon Alternative Universes. That section is for crossovers between Canon universes (e.g, Equestria Girls and Power Ponies), not crossovers with something else.
5176782
Sorry. I'm kinda mistaken about it. I just wanna it can get along with the canon with no problem. It's just that. Nothing more.
5176791 Yes--it belongs in a Crossovers Group, but not in Canon AU, which is strictly for Canon AUs.
5141209 I know why.
5219172
Know what?
5220902 Why it's bad.
5222397
Of course! Tell me! Please!
5222444 Well, that's the thing... The list is too long, basically, you need a editor!
5222446
A list? As in... the detail?
5222470 Yeaaaaa... You REALLY need a editor.
5222487
Have nothing to do with the body of the story right?
5222494 That sentence makes no sense.
5222500
I done my best. That's all what I can do. I need the characters to be recognize that this is the character that talking this sentence!
5222504 That comment had things wrong with it.
5222594
What now?!
5222637 I done my best? No, it's I did my best.
That's all what I could do? No, it's That's all that I could do.
I need the characters to be recognise? No, it's I need characters to be recongnised
That this is the character that talking this sentence? No, it's so that people know that they were the characters who were speaking.
And that's just your comment! A lot of bad things with your story if this is the amount of stuff wrong with JUST a comment.
whew finally made it to the beginning seriously your page said you have 15 stories are all of them sequels!?!?!?!?
7382983
I wanted to made a trilogy with massive stories.
Is this story related to the Percy Jackson series? I haven't read it yet, but I would like to know. If not, then can you do a crossover of Percy Jackson and MLP?