Chapter Six: Alright, Who Ordered Zombies?
"What the hay?!"
Zecorpheus cantered away from the grasping hooves of a zombie bursting out of the ground. "Nightmare Moon's Agents are after us!" she declared. She pulled a pair of automatic pistols out of thin air and opened fire; the zombie's skull burst like a ripe melon.
"Agents? These are zombies," the masked mare, Ink Blot, said gruffly. A zombie pony lunged for her; she spun around and bucked its head off. "Hrm. Never fought zombies before. Weird."
"Trust me...they may appear to be zombies, but zombies don't exist! These are Agents! Stay on your guard!"
Four more zombies advanced, moaning raggedly. Grimly, the two mares readied themselves for battle.
* * * * *
Spike finished off his apple brandy and went in search of another bottle. "Dey gotta be summa drink up in here," he muttered.
He found himself in a library. There was a large, glowing mirror set up in the middle of the floor. He took a moment to study himself, adjusting his hat. "Sheeit, got my suit all dirty..."
The mirror rippled, and an amber-coated mare with a poufy red-and-gold mane tumbled out, slamming into him. "Gah! Da fu—"
"Sorry!" the mare said, picking herself up and dusting herself off. Her horn glowed and she set Spike onto his feet. "Spike, is that you? ...what are you wearing? You look like a pimp..."
"Why crazy bitches keep callin' me Spike? I am A PIMP NAMED SCALEBACK! Say it wiff me now!"
"Uhh...okay..." The mare frowned. "So, uhh...is Princess Twilight around? I wanted to give her back these books I borrowed..."
"I ain't seen nobody up in here since I got here," Spike said.
"Well...alright...I guess I'll just...leave these here, and..."
"Hey now, don't rush off!" Spike looked her up and down. "How'd you like to go to work for A Pimp Named Scaleback, sweet thang?"
The mare shuddered. "Yeah. No. Not happening." She frowned. "You're acting...strange."
Spike waved his cane at her. "Don't make me slap you," he said. "Make yourself useful, get me some mo' sip."
The mare groaned in irritation. Her horn glowed, and Spike found himself standing on his head. "Twilight needs to put you in time-out," she said. With a sigh, she added, "Well...as long as I'm in Equestria, I might as well have a look around Ponyville...even if it is night..."
* * * * *
Fluttershy recoiled in terror as six zombies burst out of the ground below her. "This is not okay. This is not okay."
A massive gust of wind swept through the street, sending the zombies flying.
Fluttershy whirled around to see Derpy flying beside her. Only, she looked...strange. For one thing, her eyes were straight. For another, her mane was gone. She was wearing a set of orange robes, and blue arrows had been tattooed from her scalp to the base of her tail (which had been dyed the same shade of blue and pulled straight), and down each leg all the way to her hooves.
"Do you need a hoof here?" Derpy asked. "I mean...I know you've probably got things under control, being a princess and all, but...I'd be happy to help out." She frowned at the crowd of shambling horrors below. "Are those...are those real zombies?"
"I...I think they are, yes. I mean, they came out of the ground, and...I don't think anypony was dressed as a zombie..."
Derpy nodded. "So it's okay if I use firebending on them, right?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
Derpy smiled easily. "Just leave it to me, Your Highness!" She spread her wings and glided down over the crowd. She took a deep breath; flames shot out of her hooves, searing the walking corpses in the streets below.
Fluttershy stared. "Oh...kay then...I'll just...let you handle that."
* * * * *
Bits of zombie flew left and right as Twilight's chainsaw sang. She laughed as she danced through the rain of undead flesh. "Woohoo! Now this is how Nightmare Night is supposed to be!"
Three zombies burst out of a house. She tore into them, reducing them to miscellaneous zombie parts.
Something huge, green, and moaning shambled out of an alley. She readied her chainsaw to attack it...
"Wait!" Flash cried. "I don't think that's a zombie!"
Twilight paused. "Are you sure? It's...it's really grody." She took a second look. "Actually, it's...Flankenstein's monster?" She shrugged. "Eh. Close enough." Her chainsaw roared...
"Twilight, I really don't think you should kill that one," Flash said. "Just...call it a hunch."
Twilight frowned. "Spoilsport."
Flankenstein's monster roared at her, then kicked her across the street. She cried out as she sailed into the side of a building, crashing through the front wall. Twilight groaned as she picked herself up, shaking splinters from her mane. "Okay, that tears it. That green freak is dead! Or deader! Redeaded?" She bolted out the door, chainsaw roaring...
The monster was gone. "AAARGH! GET BACK HERE, YOU...!"
* * * * *
Immediately upon entering Ponyville proper, Sunset Shimmer knew something was horribly wrong.
For one thing, there were zombie ponies everywhere.
"What the hay...?"
Three zombies staggered toward her. A grey pegasus mare swooped down, blasting them away with a tremendous gust of wind.
A yellow mare landed in front of her, pink mane streaming behind her. "Are you alright?" she asked.
"Y-yes, I..." Sunset Shimmer paused, eyes wide. "Fluttershy?"
"Yes...do I know you?" Fluttershy peered at her. "You...look vaguely familiar..."
Sunset Shimmer stared at Fluttershy—or, more to the point, at the long, tapered horn protruding from her forehead. "Uhh...Fluttershy? When did...when did you become an alicorn? I mean...I'm pretty sure you were supposed to be a pegasus..."
Fluttershy blinked. The light of recognition entered her eyes, and she took a hesitant step back. "You're...you're Sunset Shimmer," she said.
"That's right," Sunset Shimmer said. "I just came through the portal to return some library books to Princess Twilight, and decided to have a look around Ponyville..." She frowned as two more zombies appeared behind Fluttershy. With a burst of her own magic, they were sent flying; the grey pegasus swooped down and burned them to ashes. "What the heck's going ON here? And why are you a princess all of a sudden? Are...are the others...?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "Discord did all this," she said. "He sold everypony enchanted Nightmare Night costumes. It's made almost everypony in Ponyville completely crazy." She looked around at the pieces of zombie littering the ground. "I think he must've summoned these zombies too, just to add to the chaos."
"Discord's loose?!" Sunset Shimmer exclaimed, rearing. "Oh my gosh...this is terrible!"
"Oh, Discord's been free for some time now," Fluttershy said. "He's...he's mostly reformed." She frowned. "And...and I'm sure he really did mean all this to be a harmless Nightmare Night prank. It's just...sometimes, Discord's idea of fun...is a little more than most ponies can handle."
Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow. "Okay..."
"Would...would you mind helping me?" Fluttershy asked. "I'm...kind of trying to...sort of...sort this mess out..." She briefly explained exactly what Discord had done, and the effects she'd witnessed so far.
Sunset Shimmer's eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Wow. That's...and you say he's reformed?!"
"Yes. We're friends." Fluttershy crossed her eyes and peered up at her horn. "My being an alicorn tonight was his idea. I think...I think he knew his prank would get out of hoof, and wanted me to..."
"Yeah, you're obviously the best choice to handle something like this," Sunset Shimmer muttered, shaking her head. She took a deep breath. "Okay. What do you need me to do?"
"Don't forget about me!" the grey pegasus said, landing next to them. "I wanna help too!"
Fluttershy started. "Oh. Umm...okay. You...can help by doing what you're already doing. Deal with this...zombie mess...please?"
"Can do!" the pegasus launched herself into the air, soaring off into town.
"And you...well...for the moment, you can help me track down Applejack. She, umm...apparently, she decided to dress up as a succubus. I think...she's been...doing something bad to stallions..."
Sunset Shimmer's eyes bugged out. "Applejack? A...a succubus?" She doubled over laughing. "Oh Celestia, that's...that's too hilarious!" At Fluttershy's mild glare, she forced herself to sober up. "Ahem. I mean...wow. That's...pretty bad. We should...definitely find her." Snickering, she followed Fluttershy into the heart of Ponyville. "Man, I am so glad I picked tonight of all nights to drop by..."
* * * * *
"The ghost went in here," Apple Bloom said, examining the hoofheld specter scanner she carried.
"Uhh...is it me, or is something...weird about the town?"
"There's been something weird about this place since we got here," Apple Bloom said absently. "All we have to do is spank this spook, and everything'll be..."
The door to the boutique exploded. The ghost they had been tracking flew out, screaming her head off. Three zombies trotted out after her, moaning and groaning.
"THERE SHE IS!" Scootaloo exclaimed, opening fire with her capture streamer.
"Watch out!" Apple Bloom yelled, tackling her out of the way as a zombie tried to grab her.
The ghost's horn glowed, and the zombies were sent flying by a green flash of ecto magic. The ghost's horn glowed more brightly, and several spears of ice lanced out, ripping into zombie flesh.
Apple Bloom sprang to her hooves, capture wand at the ready. "Stay back, ghost!"
"Are you KIDDING ME?" the ghost screeched, hooves on her hips. "I just saved your lives! I am NOT a bad ghost! I'm a GOOD ghost!"
"There are good ghosts?" Scootaloo asked, scratching her head.
"Look...just..." the ghost massaged her temples with her hooves. "You see these zombies? Why don't you try using those insanely destructive weapons of yours to set those stupid things on fire, instead of blowing up half the town trying to hit me for no good reason?"
Five more zombies shambled into view from behind the boutique.
The two Spook Spankers looked at one another, shrugged, and opened fire on the zombies. Their temporary ghostly ally joined in.
* * * * *
"Hey there, handso—oh, you're a zombie, nevermind. Ew."
* * * * *
Lucha Mayor glared intently at the horde of shambling undead making their way up the street. "¡Quietos ahí, bola de engendros! Ahí les va lo bueno!" She launched herself at the nearest zombie, seizing it around the neck. "¡Quebradora voladoraaaaa!" Up and over it went, slammed powerfully into the ground; it fell apart with a sad moan. "¡Lárguense de mi pueblo!" she cried as she grabbed another zombie, flinging it into the crowd behind her, where more ponies were tearing apart zombies left and right. It fell victim to the roaring chainsaw of the strangely-dressed mare with the talking severed head hanging from her skirt.
More zombies surrounded her, moaning.
"¡Vénganse, a ver si muy machos!" With a mighty roar, she dove into the mass of zombies, hooves flailing. "¡Feliz día de muertos!"
* * * * *
"Yada yada! Kowai na mon! Kimochi warui!" Octavia ran around in circles, wailing at the top of her lungs.
"Shikkarishite, Seiraa Merodi!" Vinyl yelled as she threw a brace of roses at the zombies, freezing them in their tracks. "Ima da!"
"Hai!" Octavia removed her tiara. "MERODI TIARA BUUMERAN!" Her attack tore through several zombies, reducing them to ashes.
* * * * *
Badgerella shredded another zombie. A tendril of Mane-iac's mane snaked around her leg, hauling her up. "Hey! Do you mind? I kinda got my hooves full here! I'll kick your hairy hinny hiney later!"
"OhohohoOOOOOHOOOOHOOOHAAAHAAHAAAAA! But if I let these disgusting undead things SNIP those beastly claws of yours, you'll be out of my HAIR for good!"
Badgerella swung around and severed the hair holding her with her claws, then launched herself at the Mane-iac. "Listen, bub," she snarled as she pressed her claws against the Mane-iac's throat, "you've got two choices: you can either help us deal with this zombie mess, or I can perform a tracheotomy you probably won't live through."
Mane-iac swallowed nervously. "E-even if I...would ever help...a hero...there's no way I'm getting zombie guts in my glorious mane..."
"So don't use your mane! You've got a horn, don'tcha?"
"Wh-what are you talking about?"
Badgerella snarled and levitated a mirror out of her utility belt, holding it up so the Mane-iac could see. "That right there! Did you forget you had it under that mess of ugly you call hair?"
Mane-iac blinked. "I...what?"
A tentative burst of magic sent Badgerella flying.
Mane-iac stood, peering up at her long, sharp horn. She turned to her side, examining her flanks...and the enormous, feathery wings that hung there. "Oh my. This is more invigorating than a new herbal conditioner..."
She looked all around herself at the chaos of ponies fighting zombies. Her horn lit up.
A blinding golden beam of light lanced out, splitting into dozens of beams, which sliced through every zombie present, setting them ablaze.
Mane-iac threw her head back and let out a long, loud, whooping laugh. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LISTEN UP, PATHETIC PONY PEONS! LOOK UPON YOUR NEW SUPREME RULER! LOOK UPON THE ALL-POWERFUL QUEEN MANE-IAC!! BOW BEFORE ME, OR YOU WILL HAVE A BRUSH WITH DOOM!!"
All around the square, various ponies cowered, shuffled their hooves, or screamed.
Mare-Do-Well trotted up to Badgerella and punched her in the face. "You idiot," she rasped.
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Awesome job with the chapter, can't wait for the next one!
Princess Fluttershy, I think you might need to find a way to knock Cele- I mean, 'Mane-iac', unconscious
Oh dear...that's going to backfire rather horribly now...
Until someone points out to Mare-do-Well that she is also an alicorn.
...actually, considering Mare-do-Well was seen flying and using magic when she first debued, Mare-do-Well being an alicorn is canon to her story. So Luna/Mare-do-Well should be aware of her alicorn status.
Oh, Badgerella... What have you done?
Not only does the maniac have magic now, but she has an army of flaming zombie minions!
5193438 Mare-Do-Well already knows she's an alicorn. However, her powers are limited to what's known of Mare-Do-Well. For the most part.
Great, now Maniac has cosmic powers.
We are in agreement.
The.... References......what.....
The buck.
This is too much.
*click* BANG
Sorry about that... Needed to deal with one of those damn zomponies.... They keep crawling through the rift.....
Hold on..... WHAP BANG KAKRASH
Ok, I stopped them.
Now as I was saying....
This is too much. It is overload on me. Christ man. I know a lot of these characters, but some are new to me.
Also, the choices of who is who?
Zecora as Morpheus?
Twi as lollipop chainsaw... With flash head?
Alicorn flutters?
I'm guessing Danny phantom sweetie?
And more!
Derry as freakin Aang......
What.
I'll get back to you when my mind stops blue screening, and finishes processing this.
I wonder if the story's aftermath is going to have a scene where it jump cuts to the Crystal Empire with Flash waking up and complaining about a weird dream where he was a severed head tied to Twilight's hip.
Wha... Wait... Applejack... she's... Hm. Interesting.
In other news, my reaction to the rest of this story is somewhere along the lines of
"Oh gawd my mind! I can not cope with the awesome!"
I am looking forward to some more mind melting chapters from this story. I just hope i can pore my brains back in my ears from where they leaked out.
Now we have a magical prodigy almost at Twilight Sparkle's level pre-ascension on the scene in Sunset Shimmer. One who is NOT part of the growing chaos but who is enjoying it.
Just a bit of a question: are the zamponies just creations of Chaos, or something more... unsettling?
5193480
this is one of the funniest fics i have ever read.
I LOVE IT! *thumbs up*
5193488 Yeah. Now it's time for the MANE event!
Anyone else start fantasizing about getting powers from whatever you dress up as to kill a never ending hoarde of zombies with your freinds?
Because I am now, and let me tell you,
It.
Is.
Beautiful
5193834 The zombies are just "party favors" Discord conjured up.
5193662 don't forget Octavia as the japanese Sailor moon and Vinyl Scratch as the japanese Tuxedo Mask and Applebloom and Scootaloo are 2 of the 4 Ghostbusters
i eagerly await your next chapter this is a really funny story
This story is so funny XD!
Oh dear god... now we REALLY have supervillain Tyrantlestia!
Discord... YOU DONE BUCKED UP!!
5194065
Covenant!? Daleks!?
How can I forget!
And the PAC mule..... Wow.
Just....
Never mind.
You know what I really want to see?
Shining as master chief.
Lyra.... That would be obvious..... But how would she look? That scares me to no end....
Cadence as Tomb Raider?
For some reason I wanna see someone as Prophet from Crysis..... Just me perhaps.
If you already have thoughts on how to end this, or to include these to include these, why not make a sequel with the crystal kingdom and changeling hive!
Chrysalis as spider man.....
Changelings as various super villans from marvel....CAPCOM.... The works.
When I think crystal ponies, I think weeping angels..... Or maybe goombas?
Yearling as azhuitol, and vica versa......
Sombra as sand man form Spider-Man....
Jeez I went on a huge rant here......
Well, at least you got ideas to use!..... Wait, would you need my permission to use my ideas in your story? I'd happily give you it if so!
Anyways,
Hope you like my thoughts on this!
I had to stop reading just to comment on how much I love the fact that Derpy is the Avatar.
This can only end in pain... and a bad haircut.
I think it would make an interesting story where, after this story is finished, we're presented with an alternate timeline where Discord screwed up and the transformations accidentally become their natural state rather than reverting when Nightmare Night is over.
5194689
THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!!!
LET'S DO IT.
5194793
That a compliment?
A thousand huzzah's for Sunset Shimmer!
5194879
PROBABLY?
And still, I see more evidence that this is a really, really, bizarre and roundabout way to help ponies out.
I mean, look at Mayor Mare. She's mayor of a small town where a Princess lives. She probably feels pretty useless on a good day. Mayor Mare is but a mere pony, but on Nightmare Night? ¡Alcalde Luchamare al rescate! ¡Aya! For a change, she gets to be the hero, and more importantly, everyone is going to remember how she heroically chokeslammed zombies for Ponyville. She could make it her campaign slogan: "Chokeslamming zombies for your protection!" Who would dare vote against her? (Not me, I can tell you!)
Meanwhile, the CMC are no doubt going to recall exactly how much damage they caused, and this will hopefully inspire them to reign in their crusading a bit.
Ostensibly, I think the real reason Discord suggested that Fluttershy masquerade as an alicorn was for exactly this kind of situation; in the event Celestia or Luna or Twilight realized they were likewise an alicorn and got out of hand.
Really, this seems like the norm for Discord. He doesn't actually think out the consequences of his actions; he just acts, but is such a talented spin doctor, that whenever someone tries to call him out on his shenanigans, he able to convince them that everything played out exactly as he expected, the resolution actually benefits everyone, and that was his plan all along.
With some prep time, he could probably beat Celestia in an election (which, given this is Equestria, would be a lot like beating Jesus in a wine-making contest. With a little prep time, he could probably do that too)
5193939
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/148738/malideus
I know just the guy you need. He has started a trend.
As a villain, but there are some nice guys in the multiverse.
5194065 Don't forget "the rookie" that you play as in the game. (The devs said that it could have been a movie.)
5193939 Mind if I join join you in the purge? img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120703071738/warhammer40k/images/thumb/e/e0/Blood_Angel_DW_Devastator_Brother2.png/250px-Blood_Angel_DW_Devastator_Brother2.png
Celestia with Mane-iac powers. Discord will regret letting that possibility exist once it back fires on him.
5195364 You mean Mane-iac with Celestia powers.
5195350 blood for the blood god skulls for the skull throne
5195401 No I was right the first time, if putting a pun into just about every one of her sentences is one of Mane-iac's powers, then Celestia could probably weaponise it as payback for this.
Also, having ethereal hair with flair could be interesting in everyday life.
One last thing. Would it be possible for Princess Fluttershy to cast a spell that would bring the real pony back, but keep the powers until midnight? Or something like that?
I don't know who said that, but I totally lost it.
5195576 This very thing is addressed in the next chapter.
5195627 Applejack. Thought it'd be obvious, since she's going around screwing every halfway-sane stallion in Ponyville.
5195627 I'm willing to bet that was AJ.
HOLD UP HOLD UP. How does Fluttershy know how Sunset Shimmer looks like? Have they met before?
5196217 Remember when Sunset Shimmer stole the crown? Twilight wasn't the only one chasing her through the palace. All her friends were there too. Including Fluttershy.
5196260 Wasn't she wearing a hood?
5196406 They did see her clearly before she went back into the mirror.
5196415 Ah. Well that's the end of that! Nice talking to ya.
Avatar Derpy. I hereby declare that Avatar Derpy is to be spread about the internet in any and every way possible! I don't care what it takes, it has to happen, STAT! Also, enter Sunset Shimmer.
Here's a thought. A pimp ain't no pimp without his ladies, so what if Spike discovers he's a magic pimp that can turn others into his ladies? That, or Discord grants him that due to noticing he's a pimp without ladies and wants to make things more chaotic. XD
Oh, another reason for him to have the ability to turn others into 'hoes'... is because a pimp ain't a pimp without them. XD Plus, I wonder whom and where those twin hoes went to. I'm guessing they were Lotus and Aloe?
Oh, and speaking of, that could likely cause problems Discord hadn't foresaw. After all, thanks to him, there are additional issues going about.
For instance, when the spell runs out, AJ likely would still have all the magic she stole, and no, has no idea how to control it.
And if Spike, as Scaleback, transformed others, there'd be additional consequences due to them not being transformed back, cause it was the costumes that wear off, not additional changes. Heh, imagine Spike snapping out of it, only to have a horde of hoes in love with him. Awkward, yet something he would hate at all. XD Heck, they might even be TOO forward with him, but Spike being noble enough that he tries to learn more about the 'hoes' first... causing them to actually start to care about him due to him caring about them, and then not wanting to be cured due to this. XD
And that's just some examples of how things could go horribly wrong in ways that Discord did not anticipate. XD To put simply... Discord, you darn messed up, foo'l. XD
Oh, and if(key word being 'if', since it's your story) you did do that with Spike being able to turn others into hoes(knowing Discord's gifts, there wouldn't be a limit as to whom he could transform with such), I could soooo see Spike saying: "A pimp ain't a pimp without his hoes, yo." XD
5197032 You are expending a LOT of time and energy on a bad idea that isn't going anywhere near this story.
5195791 yeah, but it could've been twilight too. I'm assuming it was AJ, but, you know...