• Published 21st Oct 2014
  • 7,171 Views, 679 Comments

Discord's Discount Disguises - MythrilMoth



Discord opens a costume shop in Ponyville for Nightmare Night. But is he on the up and up?

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Chapter Two: Fine Print

The day of Nightmare Night arrived crisp and cold, with a thin blanket of mist clinging to the ground. Soon the sun would set, and the festivities would begin.

Spike flicked the bright red feather tucked in the leopard-print band of the broad white hat he wore. He was dressed in a purple velvet pinstripe suit with a yellow shirt, a sky blue necktie, and black leather shoes with white spats. A long royal purple velvet cape with faux fur trim was draped over his shoulders. He held a jewel-topped cane in one claw. "Lookin' sharp, Spike," he said to his reflection in the mirror.

"Just what ARE you supposed to be, anyway?" Twilight asked from the doorway.

"I have no idea, but I like it," Spike said. He turned to look at Twilight and jumped back in alarm. "What the heck?!"

Twilight was wearing a dark blue two-piece cheerleader outfit, with tall white socks on her back legs, along with red leg warmers and red and white sneakers. Her hair was tied up in twin ponytails. A plush stuffed pony head hung from her belt; it looked a lot like Flash Sentry, face frozen in an expression of terror. A plastic toy chainsaw was strapped to her back.

"Do you like it?" Twilight asked with a giggle. "Pretty weird, huh?"

"I'll say," Spike said. He examined the plush head hanging from her belt and shuddered. "Do I even wanna know?"

"Come on, let's go down to Ponyville," Twilight said. "I can't wait to see what everypony's wearing."

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash swooped low over Ponyville, a shining silver beacon. Her silver costume fit snugly, she'd dyed her mane and tail silver, and Discord had even given her some special silver dust to coat her wings, turning them speckled, glittery silver. Below, she spotted three familiar fillies. She swooped down to greet them. "Heya squirt!" she said as she landed right behind Scootaloo.

Scootaloo whirled around. "Rainbow...Dash?" Her eyes widened. "Wow. You're...shiny."

"Cool costume, Rainbow Dash!" Apple Bloom said. "What are you, the Tin Woodspony?"

Rainbow recoiled. "No way! I'm the Silver Soarer!"

She was met with confused looks.

"The herald of Stellactus?"

More confusion.

"The coolest comic book character of all time?"

"Sorry, never heard of it," Apple Bloom said.

Rainbow slumped.

"Oh wait! The Silver Soarer!" Scootaloo suddenly cried. "I've heard of that!"

Rainbow brightened.

"My dad used to read that! He has lots of old Silver Soarer comics in a box in the attic! Oh wow, they stopped publishing that before I was even born!"

Rainbow's jaw dropped. "They...they don't publish...?" she sagged to the ground. "Man, that blows." She looked at the girls. "So anyway, what are you three going as?"

Apple Bloom grinned. "You'll see. We're on our way to Rarity's place now to get dressed."

"Okay. Well, see you girls later."

* * * * *

Pinkie bounced downstairs. The Cakes were busy setting out spooky decorations. "Are you sure you don't need me tonight?" she asked.

"We'll be fine, Pinkie dear. Go and enjoy Nightmare Night." Mr. Cake smiled. "Our little party is for the boring older ponies who aren't into the games and candy and stuff, and the parents who just need to rest up while the foals run wild."

A ghost in a bedsheet floated across the room.

"Oooh, neat floating ghostie! I don't even see any wires!" Pinkie said.

Mrs. Cake looked up and rolled her eyes. "That's Pound Cake," she said. "Pound Cake, get down from there. Can you even see where you're going in that?"

Pound landed on the counter. "I ghost Mommy!" he cried cheerfully. "Boo!"

"Yes, dear, it's a very nice ghost costume. You look very spooky." She looked around. "Where's Pumpkin?"

An abnormally large pumpkin with a spooky face carved into it waddled into the room on unsteady hooves.

Pinkie stared at this, then giggled. "Pumpkin is...wearing a pumpkin?"

"Pun'kin!" Pumpkin Cake said, laughing as she listed to the left.

"D'aww," Pinkie cooed.

"That's quite an interesting costume you're wearing," Mr. Cake said, looking Pinkie over. Pinkie was wearing a tight-fitting black leather trenchcoat that covered her entire body, save for her hooves, which were shod in matching black leather. A black hat sat atop her head, which was completely covered—mane and all—in a solid white cloth mask that looked like someone had spilled ink all over the front. There were no holes whatsoever in the mask. Mr. Cake tilted his head. "How can you even see out of that?"

"I have no idea," Pinkie said. "It must be because Discord made it. He does things that don't make sense even to me!" She giggled. "Well, I'm off!"

"Have a good time, dear!"

* * * * *

"Ah don't know if'n Ah want you walkin' 'round town in that, AJ."

"Oh come on, Big Mac! It's all in good fun."

"Yeah, but..."

Applejack wore skintight, shiny black leather stockings on all four legs, as well as a glossy black saddle with cream-colored faux fur trim. She wore her mane loose and had dyed it and her tail pale aqua green. A huge pair of fake bat wings hung at her sides, with a smaller pair mounted on a hairband so that they protruded from the sides of her head, just forward of her ears. A black leather choker around her neck, from which a leash trailed, completed the ensemble.

"But what?" she asked.

Big Macintosh looked away. "Ah just...don't want anypony gettin' th' wrong idea."

Applejack snorted. "C'mon now, Big Mac. It's just a silly costume." She blushed. "Ah mean yeah, okay...Ah might get teased a bit for it, but...th' whole point of Nightmare Night costumes is to be somethin' you ain't an' have fun with it." She looked at her brother, raising an eyebrow. "Ah mean, look at you!"

Big Mac wore a filthy-looking burlap suit and massive leaden platform horseshoes. His mane had been dyed black and shaped into a messy, squared cut. The visible parts of his coat had been slathered with thick layers of greyish-green makeup, with thick dark circles under his eyes. Various scars and stitches and staples criss-crossed his makeup, and a big pair of iron bolts were glued to his neck.

Big Mac snorted. "Alright, fine, just...keep yer tail down, okay? Don't want no stallions gettin' th' wrong ideas..."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Like anypony could even touch me without my say-so..."

* * * * *

"A-are you sure about this costume?" Fluttershy asked, looking at herself in the mirror nervously. "I...I wouldn't want to...to offend or upset Twilight..."

"Why ever would that offend or upset anypony?" Discord asked.

"W-well..." Fluttershy stepped back and studied herself again. A fake unicorn horn, long and tapered, jutted forth from her head, attached with spirit gum. Atop her head sat a glittery silver tiara adorned with pearls and sapphires. She wore a peytral, similar to Princess Celestia's, but in silver, with a pink butterfly-shaped gem in the center. Silver slippers graced her hooves.

"You make a splendid alicorn princess, Fluttershy," Discord said.

Fluttershy looked over at Discord, who was wearing a loud purple jacket over a vest decorated with hearts, clubs, spades, and diamonds, a fancy bow tie, and a top hat made of chocolate. "I just...don't want any of the real princesses to be mad at me..."

Discord waved his lion paw and made a dismissive noise. "P-shaw. It's Nightmare Night! Trust me...they won't mind at all."

"W-well...alright." Fluttershy looked at herself in the mirror again, tilting her head. She smiled. "Being an alicorn...that'd be...kind of nice..."

Out of her line of sight, Discord grinned.

* * * * *

Sweetie Belle gawked at her sister. "Rarity! What happened to your MANE?!"

Rarity turned and regarded her sister through the holes in the grey mask she wore. A black and grey bodysuit covered her entire body, save for her muzzle, ears, and tail. Her long, elegant purple mane was no longer elegant; it had been pulled straight behind her and sprayed into what could only be described as a massive purple porcupine. Her tail had met a similar fate. "I'm simply getting into character, darling," she said. "Spike was kind enough to show me the comic book this character comes from, and this...well...this is what her mane looks like. I know it's ghastly, but really, it's only for one night."

"Are you...are you Badgerella?" Scootaloo asked.

Rarity smiled. "Oh, you recognize it?"

"Hay yeah!" Scootaloo said. "Badgerella and the Z-Mares is one of my favorites!"

"So what about you girls?" Rarity asked. "I haven't even seen Sweetie Belle's costume yet..."

"Actually, I'm gonna need your help with that," Sweetie said. She shuffled her hooves. "I kiiiinda need to dye my mane. And I need to do it super-fast..."

Rarity twitched. "Always waiting until the last second..."

* * * * *

Luna gave Celestia a half-lidded stare. "Sister...you look ridiculous."

Celestia giggled. "Don't I? But that's part of the fun!" She smiled at Luna. "You should know that. After all, you ARE the expert on Nightmare Night." She tilted her head. "Something about your costume is...familiar, somehow."

Luna rubbed a purple-wrapped hoof against her chest. "And well it should, dear sister!" She pulled the tight-fitting, full-face mask that came with the costume over her head, then donned the broad-brimmed purple hat that completed the ensemble. Eyes concealed behind light blue lenses, she stood tall and proud, her cape and collar flapping in the light evening breeze. "Let us away to Ponyville!"

The two costumed alicorns took wing from the spires of their palace, gliding down to the busy little hamlet below.

* * * * *

"Y'all almost done in there?" Apple Bloom called. "We've only got fifteen minutes till sundown!"

"One minute, girls!" Rarity and Sweetie Belle emerged from the depths of the boutique. Sweetie was wearing a form-fitting black jumpsuit with white boots on all four hooves. Her mane and tail were snow white and styled in a manner that more closely resembled Rainbow Dash's mane.

Apple Bloom giggled. "You look perfect, Sweetie Belle!"

Scootaloo laughed. "Yeah, now I'm glad you talked us into letting you be Filly Phantom!"

Rarity studied the other two Crusaders, who were wearing tan jumpsuits, black hip boots, and bulky black harnesses rigged with huge, chunky gizmos covered in tubes, Tesla coils, and coiled wires, as well as dozens of warning stickers. Low-slung, forward-facing holsters held odd-looking contraptions connected to the harnesses by cables, their handles within easy mouth reach. Night vision goggles were perched on the girls' heads. "Dare I ask what the two of you are supposed to be?"

"We're the Spook Spankers!" Apple Bloom declared proudly, gesturing at the patch on the sleeve of her jumpsuit: it depicted a big, nasty-looking ghost with a red X over it.

"I see," Rarity said neutrally. "Well then, let's be off, shall we?"

* * * * *

Dozens of ponies gathered in Ponyville town square, with dozens more scattered around town in various groups. Adult ponies watched over small herds of foals in costume, ponies gathered around game and concession stalls, and a general festive mood filled the air.

In the town square, Twilight Sparkle and Spike stood alongside Mayor Mare, who was dressed as a luchador. Princesses Luna and Celestia arrived to an enthusiastic greeting—and some confusion, given their costumes. Twilight facehoofed.

"Wow, talk about your blasts from the past," Spike said.

Celestia, clad in a purple bodysuit with a gold neckline and tall black stockings with gold trim at the tops and fetlocks, her mane dyed alternating shades of green, raised her head and called out, "Good evening and happy Nightmare Night, my little ponies! And now, with the lowering of the sun and the raising of the moon..."

Luna picked up where Celestia left off. "Let Nightmare Night...BEGIN!"

High above the crowd, Discord sat on a flying bicycle, eating popcorn shrimp from a litterbox.

Celestia's horn glowed, and the sun dipped below the horizon.

Luna's horn glimmered, and the moon rose high into the sky...

"Hey Twi, when did you get a pimp?" Flash Sentry's voice asked from Twilight's flank. "You're not turning tricks are you? What, did you get tired of giving me head?"

Twilight jerked around and stared at the very real, very gory severed head of Flash Sentry hanging from her belt, looking balefully up at her. Her wings rustled. "Eww, don't be a perv! You're totally creeping me out!"

Mayor Mare pointed a trembling hoof at the talking severed head. "¿Por todos los santos, pero qué es eso?"

"GHOST!" two young voices screamed. Sweetie Belle, eyes glowing, rose up above the crowd; the back half of her body had turned to a wispy mist. Below, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo unholstered their confinement wands and fired dazzling, writhing streams of technomagical energy at the half-ghost unicorn.

"HEY! Watch it!" Sweetie Belle cried. "I'm one of the good guys!"

Up on the ceremonial dais, Celestia's mane began to wriggle and writhe, tendrils spreading out all around her. She looked down upon the crowd with crazed eyes. "Well, well, well...I don't know where I am, but I'm happy to be HAIR!" Her prehensile mane stretched out, lashing out at ponies, who began running and screaming. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're about to have a close SHAVE with doom!"

"Wow, what's HER damage?" Flash's head asked.

"I don't know, but I think she needs a haircut," Twilight said. Her horn glowed, and the sparkly magical chainsaw strapped to her back floated in front of her and roared to life.

"Aw hell no," Spike said. "I ain't hangin' round no crazy bitch with a chainsaw." He tottered off into the increasingly confused, chaotic crowd.

Twilight snorted. "Whatever. Come on, Flash! That reject from a bad dye job has an appointment with her new stylist!"

Meanwhile, on the dais, Luna braced herself, glaring at Celestia. A tendril of hair lashed out, coiling around her leg. Luna lowered her horn and fired a sparkling magical beam which failed to sever the hair, but did make it go limp enough for her to extricate herself. She cantered back three steps, took wing, and plowed into Celestia, knocking her into the crowd below.

As Sweetie Belle dodged and weaved and the other two Crusaders' shots set various Nightmare Night decorations on fire, Big Macintosh lurched erratically through the crowd, grunting and groaning.

The Mayor sank to her knees, threw her head back, and screamed to the sky: "¡Qué locura!"

Fluttershy flew up to where Discord was watching the chaos below, placing her hooves on her hips and glaring at him sternly. "Discord! What. Did. You. DO?!"

Discord chuckled. "Oh, dear Fluttershy...it's merely a harmless Nightmare Night prank!"

Fluttershy gestured down at the bedlam Ponyville had descended into. "This isn't harmless! This is the exact opposite of harmless!"

"Relax," Discord said with a grin. "Absolutely nopony will come to any harm from this. I personally guarantee it!"

"Discooooord..." Fluttershy growled. Her horn began to glow brightly. She fired a beam of magic at Discord which spilled his popcorn shrimp all over Ponyville.

She stopped, blinked, and peered up at her horn with crossed eyes. "H-how did...wh-what was th-that...?"

Discord smiled slowly. "My Nightmare Night costumes are...special. As soon as the moon rose, all the ponies wearing them stopped merely pretending to be what they're dressed up as."

Fluttershy gasped. "We actually...turned into what we're dressed up as?!"

"Precisely!" Discord grinned. "At midnight, the spell will end, and everypony will turn back to normal. They'll remember everything that happens tonight, and they'll understand that it was all meant in good fun."

Fluttershy looked down at the screaming, confused mass below. "I don't think they'll agree with your definition of 'fun'."

"Pshaw!" Discord scoffed, snapping his talons and summoning another order of popcorn shrimp. "If you're so worried about it all, go down there and keep order. I daresay you'll have the assistance of several bonafide superheroes. And, well...there's the little matter of..." He leaned close and whispered into her ear, "For the next five hours, you are an alicorn princess."

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "M-me?! I'm...really an alicorn princess? Oh my goodness..."

"And since your costume is simply what you'd look like as an actual alicorn, well...you're still essentially the same adorable, lovable Fluttershy. Just...with alicorn magic." Discord shrugged. "Now, those ponies down there...depending on the costume, some of them more or less remember who they are. They just...remember who they are a little bit differently. Like your good friend Princess Twilight. Others, well..." He pointed at Celestia the Mane-iac, who was laughing maniacally as she fought off the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, the Silver Soarer, and Badgerella. "...not so much."

"How...how could you do something like this?" Fluttershy whispered.

"Why, I'm simply getting into the spirit of Nightmare Night!" Discord said. "I got dressed up." He indicated his outlandish "costume". "I ate some candy." He popped several pieces of candy corn into his mouth. "I played a prank." He gestured down at the insanity below. "The only thing left is to bob for apples!" A huge washtub full of water appeared in front of him, and he ducked his head in. He came up a moment later with Applejack in his mouth. She batted her eyes seductively at him, the bat wings on her head fluttering.

"Well hello there," Applejack purred. Her fangs glinted in the moonlight. "This could be the luckiest night of your life..."

Discord spat her out. "Sorry, I know better than to dally with a succubus."

Applejack made a noise between a snort and a hiss. "Your loss, big boy." With a powerful flap of her massive bat wings, she glided into the town below.

Fluttershy watched her, eyes wide and cheeks burning. "Oh my..."

"In the end, is that not what Nightmare Night is all about?" Discord asked. "Well, I'm off to enjoy the chaos. Have fun, Princess Fluttershy!" With a final wave, he vanished.

Fluttershy let out a tiny scream of frustration, then descended into Ponyville proper.

Author's Note:

A LOT of you saw this coming. And really, it was kind of obvious. :trollestia: