• Member Since 6th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2012

Pretzhog


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After being fed up with her sister's confining rules and demanding attitude, Sweetie Belle leaves the comforts of her home and Ponyville with her friend Cloudchaser to explore and find their place among Equestria. (NOTE: Rating might be tuned up a notch as the story goes on) [EDIT: I'm NOT updating here anymore, go to my fanfiction.net account. I'm updating there]

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 79 )

what you have so far is quite good, I'm now interested in reading what else you have in store for this story :twilightsmile:

486247

Thanks! I feel a bit more confident now, I hope I can stick to this fanfic until it's done. I have a nasty habit of just giving up partial or halfway. :fluttershyouch:

Tracking, gonna read when I have time. Looks good. :raritywink:

Tracking! This looks pretty good so far :raritystarry:

... Now THIS is a concept I've never seen before, and I LIKE it. I didn't even see any grammar errors, also a big plus. Tracking. I hope to see more! :pinkiehappy:

hmm i never seen something like this before and i could never fathom this in real life it slightly sad sweetie became a punk, i will track it for now but i am still skeptical on how much i will like it. but so far you told it very well and i think it will be a fine story.

Did Sweetie Belle get puberty problems?:unsuresweetie: Good story so far.

Trying to find a diamond of sorts?:unsuresweetie:

it is interesting. I'll give it that for now. i will watch and see how it turns out.

oh snap Sweetie Belle, she's gonna get Pinkie to go Cupcake-wild on you :pinkiehappy:

Oh snap Sweetie Belle, I already know somethin good is gonna happen. Let's watch and find out.

Good stuff so far

psssh, let her stay at the farm hahahahahaha! Wait, Applejack can beat the crap out of her when she acts up then..... do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it

505153

I didn't picture THAT strong of punishment, Just something around the lines of hard work and loss of privileges if she disobeyed, if it gets there that is...

505187 yeah, that's what would happen on the show. But we all know how the Apple family disciplines... no, i wasn't actually expecting anything that extreme though.

hmm, maybe this should've been in the first comment but great story so far.

"An attention horse" *Buh-Dum-Tss* :rainbowlaugh: Love it!

505891

Keeping the language G-rated while still being edgy as nails.

What a fun read! Tracking :ajsmug:

Featherweight's documentary would make for a great Brick Joke. (Don't know what that is? Look it up.)

I don't have anything to say but I wanna comment so: meow

Hmm,the story is currently... idk double party cannon, side of nachos and an oversized paddle ball on the Pinkie scale.

So the reason why Sweetie Belle rebels is because of her growing tired of waiting for her Cutie Mark. Applebloom and Scootaloo getting theirs, whiles poor Sweetie felt truly alone. Added with Rarity's demanding nature, it's no wonder why she turned into a true Goth.

579206

No-no, Sweetie Belle has her Cutie Mark, trust me, I still have to reference at it apparently, silly me.

579235

Though she does get it last out of all the CMC's, that's for sure, you're just gonna have to wait and see how she gets it later in the story.

Id rather wait weeks for a good update than a few days for tidbit.:rainbowhuh:

Either way, I quite like this story.

581850

I usually do it in bits n' pieces or else nothing gets done, trust me.

i Wonder, is sweete belle a fan of Motley Crue?:yay:

584271

You mean Motley Clop, right?

Loving it so far, keep it up :pinkiehappy:

FIRST THUMBS DOWN HOLY HORSE CRAP!

...I mean, oh, okay.

So... The mane six.

612772

They're still alive and kickin'.

I kinda feel sorry for Sweetie Belle... her friends Scoots and Applebloom not being there for her anymore...

:twilightangry2: I always read the chapter when it's first up and it says that this is just the bit that you have right now, then I forget to read the rest of the chapter until you've posted a new one... I need to keep track of this better.


This is a great look into everypony's feelings, age screws up so many things, doesn't it?

623592

It's mostly going to revolve around Sweetie Belle and Rarity, with a few appearances of the mane cast here and there.

A generally good idea is to wait until you're done with a chapter before posting it. It prevents, well...
623592
This.

It's entirely up to you how you choose to update, but keep this in mind. It's how pretty much everyone else posts.

But if you wanna be hipster, I'm not stopping you.:twistnerd:

627401

One thing's for certain, you never stated your opinion about the fanfic yet...

627401 I don't know why but being put as an example like that makes me sad :fluttershysad: It's not in a bad way but it's just like an, "awwwwwwwwwww look, that person just tripped over their own feet" moment. Oh well. BACK TO THE INTERNETS!!!!!

628902 Oh SNAP!!!!!!

628902
629046

Ehehe, sorry.:twilightblush:

Anyway, it is an interesting fic, and definitely holds my attention just to see what happens to Sweetie. I really hope Apple Bloom and Scootaloo make an appearance. The only problem I can find is how you update the story, hence me bringing it up. It is actually a problem I've had in the past, until I decided to put off reading it until each chapter's word count is around how long you've been making them.

The one problem I have with Applejack working Sweetie on the farm is that sometimes, punishments like that make things even worse, as it can make the child think that their parents/guardians think they're just work tools. Honestly, I think Rarity will notice that... At least, I hope so. I doubt labor would help at all if Sweetie comes back. That, and Applejack seems like a bit of a bitch when it comes to work. The best course of action at this point would be to take Rarity to Sweetie (When they find out where she is, IF they do) and just have them talk it out.

630904

How about I make a journal update tagging the story when a chapter is finished, will that work? :moustache:

As for the other CMC's, they'll have references mentioned through recalled memories and dreams, as for physical appearances, you might want to keep your hooves crossed on that.

631481

I take it you haven't seen the show "World's Strictest Parents" where unruly kids get sent off to strict families, but they're not all hard as nails, they want the kids to benefit through hard work and show them that the parents care about where they're at in life and what they're doing to themselves. It teaches the kids self control and self respect. You'd have to watch a few episodes... But this comment doesn't mean the fanfic's gonna go towards that, I was just referencing possibilities. Don't get your hopes up about that, hahaha.

631549
The journal thing works great, but, uhh... *Looks down*

I have claws, not hooves.
(Feel free to guess what I am.)

631595

Hahaha, you made no mention of that before.

634007

Well you have no bio on your profile.

631549

Right. That was more or less going off of my own feelings, and what I presume would happen to Sweetie if she were sent off like that. You see, if my parents were to do that to me, I'd run from the strict parents, and resent my own parents for pretty much the rest of my life. You just don't do that unless it is an absolute last resort. I think it's kinda twisted to make other, more strict parents teach your kids lessons YOU should teach them yourself. But that's just my opinion.

635058

Now you have something to do!

636221

Yeaaah, Just enjoy where the story's going now, hahahaha.

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