Eons by Michelle Twistaloo
I guess I sort of admired Octavia. Even more so when her skills began growing up, as well as her body. She had a body to kill for, and I was actually sort of jealous. The way she kept it? I’m not sure, probably running around over here and over there, freaking out over a smudge of ink, the usual stuff – It probably burned a lot of calories.
That was eons ago, of course. And Octavia isn’t here to correct me with the correct meaning of Eons, not 10, 20, some years, but millions and millions. I don’t care though, eons ago, ages ago, to me it’s probably going to be the same thing.
Well, Tavi was always a tad odd, really, while we were all freaking out, with the new teachers, new school, new place where to be, she was simply looking, she gave the impression of controlled calm, but not two days later she was having the biggest meltdown since....well, since a big thing melted down, a volcano or something, because she had forgotten her favorite pen.
And then came music class, at the time, of course, as young fillies and colts, none of us could do more than shake the triangles, or drum the bongos, unsure of ourselves, but she picked up the biggest instrument there was, twice her size, a Cello, and she played it.
And here’s the thing about it, even though it was double her size and she had to stand up just to reach it....
She actually played it well!
(...)
Well a snooty, still one colored mane Vinyl, and a young filly, too, named Octavia, I had no musical talent at the time, computers still not hot enough to handle all my heat of music, that was a weird comparison, sorry. And she was....just that, excelled at music, freaked out at everything.
Did I pass the idea that Tavi was a bit of a drama queen?
As her Cello skills developed (no doubt helped out by her body growth) and I discovered the early chip tunes (and now I sound like an old hag), I found myself more and more fascinated by her, and the thing is....
Eons may pass, millions of years (or, just like 10 in my case), but that first kiss with the drama queen you secretly had a crush on since that first day in music class?
Timeless, or at least, to me it is.
I don’t know about the rest of the world.
Well written story, I really liked it!
In all honesty, though, I didn't quite understand what the timeline meant from Vinyl's perspective. Was it 10 years and Octavia was dead or moved on? Was it actual eons and Vinyl was communicating through emotions alone? Was Vinyl grown up and the two had gone their separate ways?
That being said, I'm sure everyone else got it. I am incredibly dense, after all.
5243584 Yeah, you're right.......
Just didn't feel like making them a threesome at the time....
This story was good in terms of plotting and the like, though I had a couple of minor complaints about the grammar. There is some random, entirely unnecessary capitalization of Cello and Eons. Also, when writing prose, the simplest way to cover all of your bases when writing numbers is to spell them all out. You do so with millions, but not ten or twenty.
Then there's that random ellipsis in parentheses. I have no idea what it's for, but it just looks odd.
5244719 Indeed. Maybe moving this to a more Siren-themed collab or even expanding on it and making a story in itself would be a nice idea, but it doesn't fit too well here.
A sufficiently saddening narrative is always wonderful.