• Member Since 20th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen January 18th

Eakin


E

After a fall and a blow to the head, Lyra begins to have hallucinations that she's a young human girl in mental hospital. As she flashes back and forth between the two, medical personnel in each do their best to cure her of her delusions. But as the day wears on Lyra begins to question which world is real and which one is only a mental construction. How can she pick one world, when they both seem so convincing? And what happens if she chooses incorrectly?

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 29 )

Wow, this is amazingly well done. I'm sure it was intentional, but I can't tell if the potion actually worked and she's a pony for real, or she just slipped back into the coma because she liked it better.

You know, you are one of the few people to write a delusion fic and each of them have been mind screws :pinkiecrazy:. Yours is no exception. I like how you kept the ending ambigious (not a fan of ambigious endings except for fics like this); is Lyra a comatose Human? Or is she a mint green unicorn?

Also, is that a Buffy the Vampire Slayer allusion I see?

And Human Lyra's parents are named Celeste and Artemis ---> Celestia and Luna. Hmm. I suspect those names were intentional.

488926

Absolutely intentional. The ambiguity is really the whole point. I'm glad both worlds seemed plausible enough that you didn't feel like one interpretation was the "correct" one, both of them should be narratively satisfying conclusions.

489968
Buffy allusion? What do you mean? I've never seen "Normal Again." Nope, definitely totally unfamiliar with it :derpytongue2: Seriously though, I needed to at least lampshade the fact that the idea had been done before. Of course, the story should still be satisfying even if you've never seen Buffy

You suspect correctly. Their descriptions should evoke the Princesses as well. The breakdown two years ago also corresponds with the run of the show. That would have been clearer if I'd gone into what caused the breakdown originally, which would have involved Artemis leaving Celeste in the past, human child Lyra building him up to be some sort of a terrible inhuman monster to cope with the loss, then having her parents reunite and Lyra being unable to deal with the fact that he was actually a pretty nice guy. It would have paralleled the NMM banishment, return, and redemption via Elements of Harmony from the backstory/pilot. I couldn't find a smooth way to fit it in without bogging down her second trip to the mental institution though.

Also Doctor Heuves sounds sufficiently close to Doctor Hooves

EDIT: Fixed some typos

wow, this is really really good

my left eye is leaking...BRAVO SIR, BRAVO INDEED! :pinkiesad2:

I know it was supposed to be super srs plot development, but when Lyra said that "We need to Kumquat," I laughed so hard. I blame it on "kumquat" being an Inherently Funny Word.

Other than that though, this story was pretty awesome.

824704

Nah, it's funny at that point because the reader's like "ha ha wait what?" Then it becomes more clear that something's wrong and she's in trouble. That's why I picked a funny attention getting word for the first word substitution and non-funny but still clearly incorrect ones for the second line. Obviously it worked.

Bravo!

Before I read I want to answer the question. If you choose incorrectly, Bon-Bon will slap you and tell you to wake the buck up.

My left eye is twitching. Very symbolic wake up calls. Fry your brain or inject the cutiemark, but now I am seeing Earth as a crossroads of sorts. Buffy (note to self, watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Lyra, Mike (SPOILER!!! Drawn to Life human is making up world. He is a minor character too) etc.

I treated another young woman Lyra’s age who believed she was living as some sort of vampire slayer” explained Heuves.

Buffy. I loved that episode and this fic was in the same league. :pinkiehappy:

Delightful little mind-screw fic. It needs more thumbs up.

Wait, if she chose to get back to ponyville, that means she died in the human world, unless the pony world is really the fake one, then she died for real, making her........ :trixieshiftleft:Hold on..............:trixieshiftright:
GAH!:flutterrage: WTF?! THIS IS SOME MIND-SCREWING SHIT! :raritydespair:

:rainbowhuh: I may have skimmed a little, but it seems to me that Lyra abandoned the human world even knowing that:
It was probably the real one
It would permanently scar her sister, parents and immediate acquaintances.
She would spend the rest of her life in a coma living a lie.

At least I should think the human world is the only plausible one since it offers an explanation to why she had to separate identities. Besides even if the human world was the real one and she just happened to be unable to remember anything about it, taking the electroshock treatment couldn't hurt right? I mean fake universe must mean fake treatment she could just take the electroshock treatment and if it doesn't work she can conclude that, it was just a figment of her imagination.

on a side note Equestria must really be a compelling place to make Lyra choose it over a cuddly human littlesister:twilightsmile:.

I think I get it. I know what is implied by this story. You were drinking one night, and you were watching an episode of Doctor Who titled "Amy's Choice." After it ended, you shouted to everyone who could hear you, "This must exist in pony form, but with no tardis or closure as to whether the correct decision was made! IT'LL BE THE BEST PIECE OF LITERATURE OF ALL TIME!" You then got on your PC and started typing for three hours straight, only looking up to tell someone to get out because you were busy. At 1:00 A.M, you passed out, and woke up at noon with a hangover. You looked at the screen in front of you and saw a touching story, but you had no idea how it had gotten there or who had written it. You did see quite a few errors, though, so you proofread it and decided to upload it in your name.

And that, quite possibly, is how Equestria was made! :pinkiecrazy:

Or, you referenced Buffy the Vampire slayer and applied a creative process to make a very good story with an ending that makes me want to both punch and hug you. I immediately thought of Amy's Choice, though, and how she has to pick between two alternative realities. Unlike DW, though, we don't see wether Lyra made the correct choice (I suppose DW isn't a good reference point as, spoiler alert, Amy had no right choice). That's genius! She could have in a mentally unwell state screwed over a family of which she had no clear memory, or, made a hard choice but correctly deciding that it was more likely she was a magical green unicorn than a human being. I can never know, and that's writing which makes you worthy of a hug. But also, I can never know, and therefore I kind of want you to suffer some sort of ironic punishment. You know, I read this interesting story earlier today...

Nice work. 84 out of 127 random numbers that mean nothing.

Great story, I'm a big Buffy fan so was nice to see it in different media. Great job!

I liked this story. It is a bit sad, a lot I suppose depending on how you view it.

I see the dichotomy presented at the end. In Equestria Lyra has to relax, not focus too hard, and just chill out. Wait for the potion to get ready and when it is she's good. On the other hand the human world requires her to concentrate very hard on something.

In other words, she has to chose a world because the action she takes will destroy the other. If she concentrates hard in the human world, the pony one dies. If she relaxes in the pony world, she'll be lost to the human one. So, depending on how you see "reality" determines the ending. Being an MLP fic I'm going to assume the pony world was real and she came back just fine. But you can easily argue that she succumbed to her delusions and went back into a coma. And, the real great part of the fic, either one looks to be a perfectly valid choice on how to view the fic.

There is a third option, that both were real. That Lyra somehow exists in both realities at the same time and this was a chance where she could have "crossed over" but chose not to.

Still, good fic.

I think this story could have been alot longer than it was:applejackunsure:

Um, uh, wah? I.... I gotta... I think imma lay down now. *thud*

(But seriously, I was up for about four hours last night just thinking about this story.)

3319659 That third one is my preference. Just like in Deep Space Nine, with Sisko's self-AU as a twentieth-century scifi writer who writes the story of the space station Deep Space Nine... the implications are somewhat different here, but no less appealing to me.

These aren't tears of sadness, these are tears of joy that Lyra is back in the pony world. Apart from that, great story.

Woah, this is such a mind-screwer... I personally like to believe the human world was the real one, idk why, but poor human Bon Bon! Excellent story!

490136 Thanks a lot, you!! :flutterrage: :twilightangry2: :trixieshiftleft:
Now I'M wondering if I'm actually a human or just an A.I (kudos if you know what that means, if not, just look up I'm Not An Ailcorn) in a hospital with pony friends and family waiting for me to bump my head and get knocked out to return to them!! :applecry: :rainbowhuh: :raritycry: :raritydespair: :fluttercry: :applejackunsure:
CURSE YOU!!

8008112
Haven't read the thread, but:

I'm Not An Ailcorn

Is that a story? I can't find one by that title with either Fimfiction or Google; or with the spelling changed.

“I think she just moved! Lyra?” she felt a hoof shaking her shoulder. The shock of the sudden contact made her startle and open her eyes. There was Bon Bon studying her for signs of recovery. Lyra smiled at her. The thing that she had been trying so hard to remember, whatever it had been, was gone for good.

Nooo :(

2870502
Remember what the doctor in Ponyville said: a shock to her parietal lobe would fry her brain in pony land. In other words, THAT WORLD told her about the electroshock therapy BEFORE the human world did. And while I do still think the human world is the real one, pony world has a pretty strong claim simply based on that.

Reminds me a lot of "Where the Wild Horses Sleep". Great work with the character work!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!