How to Find Missing Persons and Give Yourself Headaches
Trixie was awakened from a sound sleep by banging on the front door early one morning. She groaned, unwilling to get out of bed just yet. She vaguely heard the door open, and heard Sam talking to someone with a gruff voice, then saying something to Max. After a bit, Max was shaking her awake. "Wake up, Trixie," he whispered. "Flint Paper needs our help tracking down Bosco."
"Why are you whispering?" Trixie muttered as she stirred.
"We're being quiet because we don't want to wake you," Max explained reasonably.
Trixie looked at him flat eyed. "Daddy...you're waking Trixie up, but doing it quietly because you don't want to wake Trixie?"
"Yup, that's about right!" Max replied happily.
"And this...doesn't strike you as logically incon-" Trixie cut herself off. "Forgot who Trixie was talking to for a minute." Giggling, she grabbed her hat and cloak. "Is there at least time for breakfast?"
Max handed Trixie a vegetarian hot pocket. "All we've got time for, I'm afraid."
"At least it's warm," Trixie grumbled, holding it in her magic as she devoured it.
Flint was smiling as Max and Trixie joined him and Sam downstairs. "Right. Now, as you may or may not be aware, I've been hired to keep track of Bosco. However, just recently, Bosco went missing-"
"You did it!" Trixie proclaimed, pointing her hoof at Flint accusingly.
Max gasped. "Flint, how could you? I thought you were our friend!"
"Hold up now, little buddies!" Sam cautioned. "Trixie, what makes you think it was Flint?"
"Because he has a name and has appeared in multiple cases recently without contributing much!" Trixie proclaimed. "That means he's the bad guy! Just like Hugh Bliss!"
Sam gasped. Drawing his gun, he pointed it at Flint Paper. "And you were trying to lead us into a clever trap by playing on our friendship and asking us to help you find him! Freelance Police! Flint Paper, you are under arrest!"
"I...I never thought I'd hear that being said!" Max sniffled. "Flint, how could you betray us like that!"
"Now hold on there, fellas!" Flint cautioned. "Take it easy! Don't you think it's a little extreme to take her word? She's not exactly an expert investi-"
"Lies!" Trixie interrupted harshly, leaping into Flint's face. "Trixie is an excellent investigator, and already has nine solved crimes under her belt! A flawless record!"
Flint smirked. "And you're not that bad at film noir style interrogations either! But I gotta ask, what's my motive? What reason could I have for disappearing the guy I've been hired to keep track of?"
"Money!" Trixie proclaimed.
"That's right!" Sam agreed. "If you disappear Bosco, then you're the only one who can find him, and you can extort a great deal more money out of whoever has hired you to track him down! Especially if you still charge expenses and by the day!"
Flint blinked in surprise. "That's...okay, that's a pretty dang good motive."
"And you were the last one to see Bosco before he disappeared," Trixie added, "giving you the perfect opportunity!"
"Two for three ain't bad," Flint said easily, actually enjoying this despite how ridiculous it all seemed. "But how did I do it?"
Trixie turned to Sam and Max. "Any ideas?"
Max shrugged. "I've got nothing."
"It's your arrest here, Trixie," Sam added. "Make your case."
Trixie thought for a time, then gasped. "You hired T-H-E-M to disappear him so you'd keep your hands clean, and you can even keep your hands clean because T-H-E-M uses Time Travel and you haven't hired them yet!"
Flint laughed aloud. "That's totally-"
"Plausible," Max interrupted.
"Yeah, I'd buy it," Sam agreed.
Flint stared in shock. "What, really?"
"Hardly the strangest thing we'd have seen on a case," Sam pointed out.
"Heck, not even the strangest thing I've seen in a mirror," Max added.
Flint scratched his chin. "While I can accept that as a viable conclusion in that case, there's one thing you've overlooked."
"What's that?" Trixie asked.
"If you're right...I haven't committed the crime yet," Flint pointed out. "I haven't betrayed your trust yet, I haven't turned villainous yet...and I'm genuinely trying to recover Bosco, which means this isn't a trap."
Trixie raised a hoof to counter, then paused. "Does that mean we can't arrest him, Uncle Sam?" she asked.
"Can't? No," Sam replied. "Shouldn't? Yes."
Trixie pouted. "Alright. Where are we investigating?"
"Bosco's Inconvenience!" Flint stated. "That's where I last saw him. All we need to do is break in-"
"Bosco gave Trixie a key," Trixie said happily, pulling it out. "He said Trixie's the only one he was certain wasn't out to get him."
Letting themselves into Bosco's Inconvenience, they discovered that there was no trace of Bosco. "See? What did I tell ya boys? Oh, and filly. He's just plain vanished!"
"He's probably in his bunker," Trixie pointed out. "He was going to hide out there from T-H-E-M." Hiding her actions, she went to the keypad behind the counter and punched in 5318008. The lasers blocking the bathroom promptly deactivated.
"You did it, Trixie!" Flint said happily.
"Of course!" Trixie proclaimed, hopping off the counter and heading into the bathroom, Sam and Max trailing behind her while Flint waited out front.
Entering into the bathroom, they discovered that, quite plainly, this was Bosco's secret bunker...and that there was no sign of Bosco. "Well, this is probably where he was taken from," Sam mused.
"Taken by...T-H-E-M?" Max suggested.
"That's our working theory," Sam replied.
"Oh! Volcano!" Trixie shouted happily, pointing at a paper mache volcano sitting on the toilet. "Make it explode!"
Chuckling, Sam went to examine the volcano. "It's already got baking soda in it," he said. Grabbing a nearby bottle of wine that had aged into vinegar, he poured a little into the volcano.
Trixie frowned at the tiny flow of colored faux lava. "Boring! Bigger!"
Grinning, Max grabbed the bottle of vinegar and poured it into a massive barrel of baking soda, after shooting a tiny hole in the top.
A massive explosive surge of foam shot up through the roof. Trixie applauded. A UFO appeared overhead and beamed them up.
"That was different," Sam pointed out.
"Not out of the ordinary," Max added. "Just different."
As they appeared inside the UFO, Bosco's voice greeted them. "Hey guys!"
As they turned to face him, all three screamed.
"Look, I can explain," Bosco began.
"Flint Paper hired T-H-E-M to kidnap you so he could extort more money from whoever hired him to track you down, but never knew they were going to do cruel bovine related genetic experiments on you?" Trixie asked.
"What? No! Flint Paper is working for T-H-E-M!" Bosco interrupted. "They didn't find me until after I told him I was going into hiding!"
"What?" Trixie asked in shock. "But...Flint Paper hires T-H-E-M in the future via Time Travel! We know T-H-E-M has time travel!"
"Oh yeah, they do!" Bosco agreed. "But wait...if Flint hired Them to hide me, and Them hired Flint to find me so they could hide me, but Flint didn't get the job to find me until after I was hidden, then-"
"My brain hurts!" Max proclaimed loudly.
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Flint Paper is arguably the most awesome character in the canon Sam & Max setting. He's very nearly as awesome as Trixie. Maybe she could take him on as her sidekick or something.
Gotta love those mindfucks after presumptuous accusations
5905892
Eeyup.
*******
"Oh I know!" Trixie said as a power save light up went over her head "All we have to do to solve this case is go time traveling until our actions in the past or other people actions make it so Bosco becomes a bovine, then we will know now who did it, how it happened, and then we can find the why!"
"And cure Bosco?" Sam added
"Yeah, why not?" Trixie said
"Makes almost as much sense as the rest of this case." Flint Paper said "But puzzle solving is not my style..."
"You can be the one who beats people up?" Trixie said
"Oh, but I wanted to be the one to beat people up!" Sam whined
"Don't worry daddy, you will probably find out how to turn people into C.O.W.S." Trixie said, carefully to spell up he word to not offend Bosco.
"Tell you want, I will stay here and make sure whatever time travel thing they are using doesn't blow up until after you come back." Flint Paper said
"How do you know it will end blowing up?" Sam asked
"Because you two are in the case, and Trixie loves explosions."
"Can't argue with that logic." Max said. "Lets do this!"
At least it's warn by who? By Max? By Trixie? I need to know!
Somepony's now trope-aware
.
Trixie is now channelling her inner Franziska Von Karma, all she's missing is a whip and a bumbling detective to use said whip on...
.
I can't wait for episode 303 where skunkape steals max's brain and sam and Trixie go norie over everyone's asses.
I always thought they should have named that episode "Sam and Max 303: Sam is fu#king pissed!"
Flint Paper needs out help tracking down Bosco
1. Our.
Yep, the mind is confuzzled.
Celebi put it best in the fanfic Ashes of the Past:
THIS IS MORE CONFUSING THAN DOCTOR WHO TIME TRAVEL! IT HURTS! IT'S MORE DIFFICULT THAN FIGURING OUT THE MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC TIME LINE! TIME TRAVEL IS SO DIFFICULT!
Ah Chariots of the Dogs, where we find out that a JFK is Bosco's biological father.
I'M SO CONFUSED
*Reads chapter*
*grabs chair and tosses it at window to break it before jumping out*
"I REGRET NOTHING!"
5909948 In the words of doctor who, wibbly wobbly timey-wimey...stuff. Its supposed to be confusing. And its time lord logic, ah ain't explaining s***.
5909413 Figuring out the MLP:FIM time line is easy! You just go with headcanon.
5914975 there are three canons and it is HARD!
5915601 Really? Mine are all labeled. There's Canon, Fanon, and lots of different Head-canons.
am i the only one who understood this?
5906522 great. Now I wanna see Tatsurou write a MLD Phoenix Wright crossover......but with whom?........Octy perhaps?
..... Boobies? .... Really?
Um... wait.. what? This time travel hurts my head, sounds like a bootstrap paradox.. but.. *tosses his hands up in frustration*
Oh for the love of... *calls The Doctor* EXPLAIN, NOW!
7315539 As the son of the doctor, I can say with a straight face that it's completely caused by Wobbly Wobbley Timely Wimey stuff.
7683824 7315539
As the ruler of time, I agree. Very complicated
7718016 Oh great clockmaster, i am an embodiment of death, and out of a job. Can I come work for you?
And thus we closed the time loop.
7076916
this is the actual code they have to input in the game believe it or not
6051107
most likely
8024924
No, the time loop has yet to begin! you need to see the actual games man, seriously!
6051107
I did