• Published 10th Oct 2014
  • 11,772 Views, 1,116 Comments

On the Corner of Straight and Narrow - Tatsurou



Sam and Max raise a filly Trixie while solving mysteries.

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Sixth Case - Moonwalk

As the Desoto drove onto the surface of the moon, Trixie watched in awe, seeing no reason why a seemingly ordinary car shouldn't be able to drive through space, or in the apparent atmosphere the moon somehow had. The trio hopped easily out of the vehicle.

"Ah!" Sam proclaimed. "Feels good to be back on the moon, doesn't it?"

"We made good time, too!" Max agreed. "We've still got plenty of generic brand powdered orange flavor drink mix left!"

"You always did know how not to infringe on a registered trademark, little buddy," Sam replied.

"Trixie has to pee!" Trixie screamed out, having drunk too much orange mixed drink on the way up. She raced off behind the nearest cover to relieve herself.

"Well, mostly," Sam muttered under his breath.

Max smiled after Trixie. "That's my little girl! Go on! Deface the moon!" He then turned back to Sam. "So what are we doing next?"

"Let's locate the Blister of Tranquility," Sam began, going down a mental checklist, "find out what Hugh Bliss is up to, and arrest his unprincipled magical butt!"

"Yeah!" Trixie proclaimed, coming back from defacing the moon. "Trixie's unprincipled magical butt is the only one allowed to roam free! By the way, is the big, red, curtained door I peed behind the Blister thingy?" She pointed.

"Also, there's a gift shop," she mentioned, pointing.

Curiously, the trio approached the gift shop. As Sam and Max engaged in conversation with the mole man they didn't recognize, Trixie explored the shop. One of the things she came across on display was a 'Spoon Bending Talisman'. Curious, she levitated it off the stand, examining it.

The moment her magical aura reached inside the glass case and touched the Talisman, however, there was a jolt of magical energy. She staggered backwards, the Talisman and display case falling from her magical grip. When she tried to catch it, however, a new spell formula in her mind seized control, and the spoon-shaped talisman twisted itself into a pretzel.

"What have you done?!" the mole - who Trixie overheard introducing himself as Harry Moleman - demanded, rushing forward.

Stepping back in fear from both the mole man and the Talisman, her magic flared through the spell form again. Broken bits of a metal exosuit in a nearby trashcan - all vaguely spoon shaped - yanked themselves free to wrap around Harry Moleman, binding him tight. "Daddy!" Trixie cried out, rushing to hide behind Max.

"Hey, stop scaring my little girl!" Max snapped at Moleman. "That's my job!" Trixie smiled up at Max adoringly.

Agent Superball gasped dryly. "Did...did she just perform the Talisman magic without use of the Talisman?" he asked, his monotone voice somehow exhibiting surprise. "That is quite impossible. Not even a level red prismatologist such as myself can accomplish such feats. Only the Master can do that." He pulled out a spoon. "Show me the magic again."

Smirking, Trixie stepped forward. "Watch and be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs feats of magic beyond your wildest dreams!" she proclaimed, waving her horn at the spoon. The spoon promptly twisted into a corkscrew.

"This is absolutely impossible," Superball said dryly. "You must immediately enter the Blister and see the Master." He opened the door for them.

"Trixie sure makes our cases go faster," Max said happily.

"With luck, her magic will give us an edge against Hugh Bliss," Sam added as the door closed on them.

"Trixie wants to push the buttons!" Trixie proclaimed as they descended into the Moon.


The inside of the Blister defied description.

As they entered, the holographic head of Hugh Bliss descended. "Hi, I'm Hugh Bliss!" it proclaimed.

"Hi Hugh Bliss!" Mr. Pennyworth, Mr. Squishy, and the COPS replied.

"I so hope you're enjoying my Blister of Tranquility," the hologram continued. "You're all making such great progress unlocking the secrets of Prismatology, and I couldn't be more delighted."

"Is he supposed to come across so creepy?" Trixie whimpered.

"I hope so!" Max asserted.

"I have splendid news!" Hugh continued. "My top secret plan to hypnotize the entire world is nearly complete!"

"And you just announced it before the Freelance Police," Trixie pointed out dryly.

"I don't think he can see or hear us," Sam countered.

"Oh but I can!" Hugh replied. "I'm just confident that there's nothing any of you can do to stop me! But if you think you can, feel free to make your way to my inner sanctum! I look forward to watching your abject failure before you, like everyone on Earth, become one of us! There will be no escape!" He laughed wickedly. "It'll be fabulous!"

As those in the chamber applauded, Max whistled. "Well, he sure knows how to work a room, you gotta give him that!"

"Keep up the great work, everyone!" Hugh concluded. "I'm tickled pink!" As he giggled, the head rose into the ceiling.

"So how do we get into the Inner Sanctum?" Trixie asked.

Her goggles beeped. "Analysis of the structure indicates you will need the magic of one more Talisman, bare minimum. It is currently in possession of the COPS."

Heading up to the old arcade machine labeled Bluster Blaster, Trixie smiled widely. "Can Trixie see the Talisman so she can copy its magic?"

"WE NEED IT!" Bluster Blaster proclaimed.

"Open the prize door," Jane commanded.

"BY YOUR COMMAND!" BB replied, the coin compartment swinging open to reveal a large crystal eyeball.

Touching it with her magic, Trixie felt her magic react. "Whoa..." Trixie gasped. "I can see through everything..."

"Trixie's tripping out!" Max proclaimed. "I want some!"

Trixie shook her head. "Okay, Trixie just sees through lead now."

"The elevator to the Inner Sanctum is the rainbow platform in the center of the room," Jane pointed out.

"Rather obvious in hindsight," Sam commented dryly as they boarded the elevator and rose up.


As they reached the barely decorated upper floor, a large intimidating door blocked their progress. Seeing it, Trixie used her new ability to see through it. Spying a switch labeled "Open" beneath a spoon shaped sconce on the wall holding a bowling ball over the switch, she used her magic to press the switch, opening the door.

As the trio stepped through, they saw Hugh Bliss behind a crystalline control panel in the center of the room, surrounded by statues of himself looking up at a large crystal. "There he is!" Max proclaimed.

"The jig is up, Hugh Bliss!" Sam proclaimed. "We've come a long way for this, my friend, so buckle up, 'cause the Freelance Police are taking you downtown!"

"Hi, I'm Hugh Bliss!" Hugh told them. "And you're all just in time for the show! Please, no flash photography." Before anyone could react, he took hold of the microphone and started to speak. "People of Earth! Hi! I'm Hugh Bliss! And now, so are you!"

Hugh teleported into the crystal, and the statues surrounding it poured different colors of light into it from their eyes. The roof opened, and a beam of rainbow colored light shot from the moon to Earth.

Hugh Bliss laughed for a long time before calmly saying, "Okay."

"What have you done?" Sam demanded.

"And why didn't we do it first?" Trixie added.

"She's slowly becoming more you than you are, Max," Sam muttered.

"Daddy's so proud!" Max replied.

"Oh, just enlisted a few billion followers," Hugh replied to Sam's question. "Touch me, and you'll have quite the happy angry mob on your hands!"

"Not if we-" Sam began.

"Reverse the effects of the hypnobeam?" Hugh interrupted. "I don't think so! For in all the universe there is only one force chaotic and destructive enough to stop me now!"

"Do it, Daddy!" Trixie proclaimed.

"Wait, he means me?" Max asked in shock.

"I do!" Hugh replied. "But before you can, I'm going to, drumroll please..." A drumroll came out of nowhere. "Separate your bliss!"

"Wait, what?" Max demanded.

"What does that even mean?" Sam added.

"It means I chop off every bit of you I don't like," Hugh explained. "It's like a circumcision, but double the laughs!"

"You're going to what now?" Trixie demanded in fear.

"Goodbye murderous hand!" Hugh proclaimed.

Max's right hand floated away from him, cleanly separated.

"Goodbye, gluttonous stomach!"

Max's stomach followed suit, leaving a stomach shaped gap on his abdomen.

"Goodbye, slothful tail!"

Max's tail then did the same thing.

"Ow!" Max proclaimed angrily.

"And with those naughty body parts, your vices are purged from your soul!" Hugh proclaimed. "Bye bye!"

A red Max spawned from the hand. "Thanks for the hand, jerkbag!" it proclaimed angrily, pulling out a gun. I'm gonna use it to shoot you all!" It laughed maniacally.

The stomach spawned a green Max. "Oh boy, a stomach!" it proclaimed happily. "Just what I always wanted! Now come here and let me eat you!"

The tail spawned a blue Max. "Great, a tail," it sighed sorrowfully. "I just want to lie in front of a TV till I die in a pool of my own slobber."

"Congratulations Max," Hugh said happily. "I just beat the living vice out of you!"

"I'm pure bliss!" Max said happily, his voice high and squeaky.

"D-Daddy?" Trixie whimpered, staring up at her altered Daddy.

"What can I do for you, my dear Trixie?" Max asked, his voice high and sing song.

Unable to handle it, Trixie sat back onto her haunches and burst into tears. "Da-a-a-a~dy!" she wailed.