• Member Since 4th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2018

xStellar_Bubbles


A derp trying to make sense of reality.

E

The whole day was going so far so good for Rarity. She had a full stock of dresses that were ready to be sold. But, this "normal" day is going to change when a... "unique" costumer visits the Carousel Boutique.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 49 )

I have no fucking idea what I just read....

Very enjoyable. I especially like the fact that she's some freaky Everfree Alicorn princess and is considered hideous instead of beautiful and heroic like so many wannabe-princess-OC makers would like her to be.
However, you did make a few errors:
*It's spelled "customer", not "costumer". A costumer would be somepony who makes costumes.
*You forgot words here and there:

It had gargantuan and ruffled mane

the princess admired each of the horrendous by stroking

*When the same pony starts a new piece of dialogue, it doesn't have to be a different paragraph entirely. For example:

"Cheese is delicious," Pinkie said.
"But it can be very bad for your health," she continued as she hopped around the room.

That is incorrect. Now, let's look at this:

"Cheese is delicious," Pinkie said. "But it can be bad for your health," she continued as she hopped around the room.

That would be correct.
I'm sorry it was so long. I like giving mini grammar lessons. :derpytongue2:

Actually, disregard that last comment I did. This was purely great, didn't mean to offend Ya.

5300464 Thank you very much! And yeah, I have to admit, I did rush it a bit. :ajsleepy:

5300466 No, everything is fine. :twilightsmile: Also, I think that you may just be the only person who sweared on any of my stories. :derpyderp1:

5300487

Really? I didn't mean to cuss on all honestly, I guess there's a first for everything. Glad to know I didn't hurt Ya! :pinkiehappy:

5300504 Yep. :twilightsmile: Also, thanks for adding this story to your favorites!

5300527 Yay! Thank you very much! :pinkiehappy:

JBL

"Aw, oh well. I'll come back some day to che-"

"No, don't come back! Royalty or not, get out of here!" Rarity urgently headbutted Everblazing out the door, slammed it shut, and hung a sign that said "CLOSED". Rarity slid on the door and crossed her hooves.

"My goodness, such a dreadful pony, I'm just glad that's over..."

I dunno, Rarity, you were the one who threw a perfectly polite customer out the door. Careful, you might end up with a discrimination lawsuit on your hooves. Tsk tsk.

Hmm. That was… odd. I have nothing say about it, honestly. +1 upvote.

5300742 Like I said in the author's note, don't ask.

5300688
Chances are the alicorn OC is also a lawyer and will prosecute Rarity in court.

I also get the feeling that, if she were in court, she would somehow manage to use the word "MOTHERBUCKER" specifically used in caps lock in the middle of the court proceedings and manage to get off scot-free.

5300786
5300688

Hmm, just like how there could be royalty in the Everfree Forest, I guess justice there could be possible as well.

fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/090/d/a/shrugpony_rarity_by_moongazeponies-d3cvk4g.png

Odd. Ever Free has royalty? Either way, I would have gotten rid of those dresses so I would never have to see them again and why she keeps them is beyond me. Why not burn them?

Wonderful story, wonderful job with the story.

Comment posted by xStellar_Bubbles deleted Nov 23rd, 2014

...Well that was interesting. It's a very amusing idea actually. I don't think Rarity would kick a customer out just because she thinks their...uh fashion style, is a bit eccentric and terrible, but it was still entertaining anyway. One small thing though:

In a late afternoon in Ponyville, Rarity was in her house and workplace, the Carousel Boutique, working on the newest stock of purple dresses, particularly on the last dress.

That should be "On", not "In".

5302919 Thank you very much! :twilightsmile: Also, yeah, I still have some grammar trouble for some reason. :twilightoops:

Hah! :rainbowlaugh:

I love the abominations one can come up with in the pony creator app. That was cute, thanks for that.

On a completely different topic, there are two kinds of Alicorn OC's out there right now, the ones made as a joke, and the ones the creator takes seriously. This obviously was the joke kind, and was done well. However I've been doing some thinking on this lately. There is quite a substantial amount of, albeit good and necessary, white propaganda within the fandom against making Alicorn OC's.
No one wants to see our OC reserves become flooded with Alicorn Mary/Gary Stu characters, despite this happening anyway with any other pony race. However I have to wonder if there can be a gray area for one done well.
I know that BronyWriter had moderate success with this, and currently has an Alicorn OC as his main character in a long running AU fanfic of his that has over 1600 Likes and a less than a 6% dislike rating. Granted it took him a few years and numerous chapters to get said OC to where it is now, he certainly put in his time on it, but the fact remains he did it.

I think that if one wanted to, while you'd most certainly have to play the "long game" as it were, one could make a viable Alicorn OC and not get destroyed for doing it. This is just me ranting about nothing, and I am in no way suggesting you attempt making an Alicorn OC. Anyway, thanks for your story, a fun read as always! :pinkiehappy:

5304792 Woah, nice recommendation you have there! Also, to be honest, your rambling perplexed me. The thing is with Alicorn OC's (Which you may already know but I'm telling you anyways) is that alicorns are supposed to be rare. So, I actually don't get how Alicorn OC's can actually have praise, the matter of fact. :derpyderp2:

fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/271/d/b/rarity_clap_by_mihaaaa-d4b7kr9.gif
Sounds like my first OC. :facehoof:
Once again, another clever short story from Stellar. As Shakespeare said, "brevity is the soul of wit", and it is true in this case as well.
Rarity does seem a bit ooc, getting rude very quickly. I would imagine that her personality would lean more towards her trying to get Everblazing to leave in a more discreet manner. On the other hand, Rarity probably would get to that point gradually under more provocation, but here, Everblazing is only being mildly annoying, and Rarity goes from "confused" to "raging" in the span of half a line. Despite what I said about brevity earlier, this could easily be fixed by making the interaction a bit longer or by having Rarity start to get more angry earlier on.
Keep in mind I'm a nitpicker by nature, and this is nonetheless an excellent little story.

5322278 Honestly, now that I think about it, I did just kinda went out of hand with Rarity's characterization. :twilightsheepish:

I enjoyed this:rainbowlaugh:! Glad to see those abominations have some use in fics after all!:rainbowwild:

5454639 Yep, indeed! :rainbowwild: Even though there are OC's that may be worse than what I made here, I did my best at making the worst. :rainbowkiss:

I love this. :rainbowkiss: Now those dresses from "Suited for Success" won't be wasted. Plus it must have taken some audacity to take a shot at bad OCs like that, I avoid almost all thing satirical for fear of getting ranted at in the comments. :derpytongue2:

*reads comments*

Wait...you got a positive review from DerpyMuffin7? :pinkiegasp: Somebody give this chick an award!

5996447 Well, this fanfiction is meant to parody and play with the use of bad OC's, so that may be a reason to your confusion. :twilightsmile:

Cookies are just fine. :rainbowkiss::rainbowwild:

5996477 Oh, I'm not confused. :twilightsmile: I knew the purpose of your story was to parody bad OCs, but people who actually have bad OCs will be pissed off that they're being parodied.

5996553 Oh. Well, I'm glad the people who have read my stories don't have bad OC's. :rainbowlaugh:

Finally got around to reading this...

BWA HA HA HA HA HA! :rainbowlaugh:

6517501 I take it that you like it? :ajsmug:

6518559 very much so! :twilightsmile:

Also I realize it now but with all her miss-matched parts Everblazing could totally be shipped with Discord :derpytongue2:

6519199 I might just write about that. :pinkiecrazy:

6519611 Uh-oh what have I done? :rainbowderp:

6519627 Just kidding. I would never do such a thing. :rainbowwild:

6519641 I don't know, you are the spawn of satan after all... :rainbowlaugh:

6519657 So you want me to write the fic? :ajsmug:

6519660 Hmm... If you have the time then sure, why not?

6519712 Too busy bursting through doors? :raritywink:

6519746 Well have fun with your "redrum" :pinkiecrazy:

6519784 Murder backwards. It's from the movie

Just thought I'd check out some of your other stories. Now this sure got quite a good amount of laughs out of me! :rainbowlaugh: Great work!

6773280 Thanks! :rainbowkiss: Got a bunch more comedy stories for you to check out as well.

Well. . . Now that was interesting. XD
Princess Luna is going to have a busy night! (Because Rarity just saw the stuff of her nightmares)

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