“How… did you know?…”
LOVE MINE
Zephyrus Scary
Chapter 2:
“How… did you know?…”
By the time I follow Fluttershy around her cottage, I am surprised and worried to find that Ponyville is much closer than I had expected, and that Fluttershy has already disappeared amongst those buildings… But where? Or, more importantly, to whom is she going to? For certainly, if I am to go about disguised as Fluttershy, it would be most helpful to avoid not only her, but anypony she has already run across.
Not only that… but to whom should I go? I consider as I begin down the dirt path, trying not to notice how the range of animals around Fluttershy’s cottage stare—not at all kindly, but thankfully mostly with confusion—at me. The safest choice, obviously, would be somepony with a major role in the show—not that the show is necessarily indicative of this reality… but for now I decide to ignore such impossible questions.
Back to the question at… hoof: Who? As much as Big McIntosh would appear to provide the most love, it’s still only a fanon—even as popular as it is—interpretation. So, one of the other main six… I instantly rule out Twilight and Applejack; they seem to be the two who would most likely be able to see through a Changeling—Especially Twilight I think with a shiver. Pinkie Pie is quickly discarded along with them, as her randomness presents too much of a danger for me to disregard—at the same time, I try to ignore how she may very well appear anywhere at any moment no matter where I go.
Similarly, I have no idea how I might track Rainbow Dash down, considering her ability to be practically anywhere and her apparent habit of not keeping a schedule, which leaves the dependably generous Rarity. Yes… though I have come to her by a process of elimination, she is truly the obvious choice, with just the right mixture of caring for me to feed off of and carelessness that would make her most likely to overlook any “changes” in “Fluttershy” that are not too glaring.
I turn off the path to make a beeline for where my fan-knowledge-turned-helpful points. With that, it isn’t long before the elaborate and unmistakable building of Carousel Boutique comes into my view. I almost skip in happiness and thanks for those brony cartographers, but now with the Boutique in view, and therefore with myself potentially within view of Rarity, I stop myself from taking even one hop. How odd, to have to be “in character” of some-… -pony that should be fictional, in their very own world, which also shouldn’t be real… I think, reminding myself that I would have to use every single bit of fan knowledge I possess, as certainly it would be invaluable in whatever may come, while at the same time I have no idea what would be needed and what I can discard as useless.
At the door, I remember to knock at my quietest, as Fluttershy might; only a second afterwards I almost smack myself across the face with a hoof—This is a boutique! A business! I can’t be screwing up already! I sigh in relief when I hear Rarity’s voice from inside, all singsong and pleasant, though I miss the words over the distraught buzzing in my mind. All the same, I push the door open slowly, more due to my being unsure about if Rarity had actually called me in, or had instead tried to politely send me away.
It turns out I have nothing to worry about, for just as I am pushing my head through the now barely cracked open door Rarity comes into view through another door with a greeting in a high, cheerful tone. “Fluttershy, dear, hello! Come in, come in! I wasn’t expecting to see you until our appointment tomorrow…” She finishes with an obvious drop in tone, though I have no idea why, and I figure if it’s important it will make itself known before too long. This “appointment” I wonder briefly upon—Is it a dress-fitting, or the spa? Or something else?—but I quickly dismiss it as unimportant; I won’t be here that long.
As I step inside and push the door closed with a hindhoof—the act coming to me with surprising naturalness—carefully and without making a sound, Rarity’s eyes grow wide. With a shiver I look back at myself—Are one of my Changeling wings showing or something?—and when I look back, Rarity has stampeded toward me with such speed her muzzle is now not an inch from mine, and I can now easily see the worry in her eyes. “Oh, Fluttershy, what happened?! Where did all these cuts and bruises come from?!”
Ah, right. I mentally calm myself as I look back at myself again, now taking in the fact my transformation has not “covered up” my injuries; no doubt I have a couple scrapes on my face, as well, which is what I suspect is the reason for her falling tone from her welcome. “Oh… well… I…” I’m thankful that my uncertainty can be misinterpreted as Fluttershy’s timidity as I look away through a window and rapidly discard useless excuses until my eyes fall upon a tree and the shadow almost directly under it. “I fell behind on feeding my animals lunch, so I was trying to hurry, and I tripped.”
As soon as I finish I’m ready to dismiss this story as ridiculously unbelievable, so I have to stop myself from sighing in relief when Rarity latches onto it. “Oh, my dear! So you came to me because you need help cleaning and dressing those nasty scrapes?” At first I’m confused—Need help?—but I quickly remember, as if I could forget: Hooves. Of course the ponies had never been shown in situations like this, but it is all the same obvious that ponies—or at least pegasi and earth ponies—can’t take care of their own wounds, especially any on the face.
I nod slowly and affect a wince when the movement pulls a cut on my shoulder. In truth, it barely even registers a light pinch to me, as I had grown up as an average rowdy sports-playing boy who had managed to get himself cut or bruised one way or another every other day, and it had given me a thick skin that has lasted not only into my adulthood, but apparently has remained even after my body had been completely changed. Still, I think it helps, as Rarity gives me an honestly empathetic look before motioning with a hoof for me to follow her.
She looks back at me after only a few steps, or more specifically, she looks at the cut on my shoulder, which I can feel bleeding again from having been pulled open by my nodding. “Fluttershy…” she begins hesitantly after turning around and starting to trot into a hallway, “I know how you care for your animal friends, but the next time this happens, I want you to have somepony take care of your wounds as soon as possible!… Even if that means leaving a few hungry squirrels and birds waiting. Why, letting a cut like that scab over with dirt still in it… You could get an infection!”
I almost freeze as I try to sort out how to respond; thankfully, my legs seem, as before, capable of moving without me. Would Fluttershy agree? Or argue that her animals’ meals are more important as long as a wound gets treated eventually?… However, my thoughts easily derail as I feel again that sandpaper-hunger stronger than ever against my insides. An animal’s meal being more important… What’s to keep me from not doing this? I can still get out and leave Rarity, and everypony else, with their love intact… What’s more important? The answer is easy, shockingly easy: Love is recoverable; Life is not.
Coming back to myself from that short moment of trying to convince myself to go through with this, I manage to stop from bumping into Rarity’s rear, only then realizing she has led me to her bathroom and that she, apparently, isn’t surprised or worried by my silence. I stand there in my best Fluttershy imitation as Rarity uses her magic to pull out various things from drawers and cabinets: cotton balls, gauze, medical tape, and… a brown bottle. I almost snicker at that—It seems there are some unexplainable multi-universal constants.
Silent, yet wondering if Rarity expects conversation, I stand still as I let the unicorn get to work on cleaning my cuts, starting with the shoulder. She surprises me with how gently she lifts away the scab and dirt with deft swipes of a peroxide-damp cotton ball; it reminds me of how my mother had bandaged me in my youth, the last time being something close to twenty years ago, now. The sting of the hydrogen peroxide is not unexpected, yet the… something underneath it is—something barely discernable, but present enough for me to tell it is an entirely new sensation; new in the way my swiveling ears had been, and somewhat still are.
Focusing on it, I become confused as I find it swells even as Rarity moves on to dressing the cut. My eyes go wide at exactly the same time Rarity finishes wrapping medical tape around my shoulder and the unicorn herself pulls her legs slightly closer together as she shivers—Recognizing that the sandpaper-hunger feeling has lessened considerably serves to confirm it. “Fluttershy…” Rarity begins uncertainly, but she doesn’t stop working, now turning her attention to some cut or abrasion on my face. “Do you feel cold at all?
Fighting with my tears and screaming apologies at myself I know I can’t speak aloud—I’m so sorry, Rarity! How did I talk myself into doing this to you!?— lest I reveal myself, I almost neglect to answer. “Um… no?” I venture, after quickly determining that either answer should be safe, so I go with the truth; Still, I have a little shiver of my own from anticipating Rarity’s revelation of what I am.
“Are you sure?” Rarity seems to have noticed my own shaking and takes a step back to look over me. I fight hard to not shiver again, though now that it seems Rarity doesn’t know whatever chill has just run through her means, I feel safer. Still, I wait for her to look me back in the eyes, just to be sure there’s still no hint of even suspicion on her face, before I answer.
“Y-y-yes…” I stutter purposefully, trying to buy a few seconds to think of some explanation. “I-I shivered because… I-”—Think! What would Fluttershy say?—“I’m scared of having peroxide so close to my eyes.” Finishing with a sheepish smile, I barely manage to keep a questioning tone out of the last few words.
Instantly, Rarity looks relieved, and therefore I am relieved. “Oh, Fluttershy, you needn’t worry about such things with me! Why, I don’t make the dresses I do by throwing needles at cloth without care, after all.” She smiles in a way that I suppose is designed to comfort Fluttershy, so I widen my own smile into something a bit more confident, at which Rarity gives the slightest nod.
Her smile doesn’t hold, however, for she looks contemplatively to the floor, and I’m sure she’s thinking again about her shivers, which resume as soon as she nods, along with that newest sensation inside of me, which is now strong enough for me to at least liken—it feels somewhat like standing under running water, yet it flows inside of me and seems to come from no particular direction. Rarity finally looks back at the cut on my face with a thoughtful hum and soft, “I hope I’m not coming down with something…” and begins to wipe away some congealed blood from a cut on my left cheek, letting more blood to trickle out as she cleans out the dirt.
Just as Rarity is lifting up a pad of gauze to protect the cut on my cheek, there’s the sound of a door banging against a wall, followed immediately by Twilight Sparkle’s urgent voice. “Rarity!” Vaguely, I hope my gulp and widened eyes can be mistaken for a less than usual response of Fluttershy’s fear of loud noises. Whether it’s the distraction of Twilight or real misunderstanding, Rarity doesn’t seem to take notice.
“Here, in the bathroom, Twilight! And do be careful with my front door, dear; customers have to come through there!” She calls back with patience and elegance, but sighs with exasperation as she tapes the gauze over the cut. I try to smile in a way to tell Rarity that Twilight only ever means well—something I believe even as I have no doubt she’s here to unmask me—but it doesn’t quite make it onto my face before the sound of Twilight’s galloping stops at the still-open bathroom door.
I keep my back to the door as I watch Rarity lean slightly to the side to look around me. I don’t need to turn around to see what causes Rarity’s eyes to widen slightly and shift swiftly back and forth between my face and the door behind me, for the tiniest gasp of surprise from behind me is unmistakable. I surprise myself by managing to not go into a panic—not being so hungry is probably helping with that—and without having to think over what to do next, something clicks into place—Sorry, Fluttershy…—“Hello, Twiligh-.”
I turn around and fake an astonished gasp of my own that honestly shocks me with how it sounds almost perfectly duplicated to the one Fluttershy has just made. Though I make a great effort to stare at Fluttershy with a look of fear on my face—something that comes to me with a strange naturalness that reminds me of how that first Changeling had copied Rainbow Dash’s movements and expressions—I can’t help but glance at Twilight occasionally, even as Fluttershy doesn’t look away from me.
At first, Twilight's head is pulled back from surprise, from what I hope is my friendly greeting, before copying Rarity in looking between Fluttershy and myself. Even as I hope Twilight, in her infinite capacity for logic, is considering the possibility that the real Fluttershy is the Changeling, I still think to myself more mental apologies. I’m so, so, so sorry, Fluttershy. I wish there was another way, but I need this! I daren’t give her the slightest hint of a pitiful or remorseful look, even as much I wish I could.
Eventually, Twilight is, naturally, the first to recover, settling her look of contempt on me. Before she can say anything, I swiftly stand, turn to face her, and take a step back. “Twilight, wa-wait…” Just like that I renew her pause, and she looks back towards Fluttershy, still beside her, with reluctant suspicion. Yet again, I wish I could speak my apologies aloud, now for making Twilight question her friends—And she knows one has to be real, but even she can’t tell which… What must be going through her mind right now… doubting the strength and depth of her friendship with Fluttershy…
Stepping back further to stand next to Rarity, I can see she has instead settled her eyes on Fluttershy, and behind the confusion is a hint of mistrust towards her. I hope that this suspicion is merely due to the fact Rarity doesn’t want to think that she has just been cleaning and patching the wounds of a Changeling, or at least, if not, that she can move past her misplaced wariness once the truth comes into light, as it almost certainly will—that “almost” being the only thing sustaining me now.
Twilight finally stops looking between Fluttershy and myself to turn to Rarity, and I think she also takes note of Rarity’s cautious stare before speaking. “Rarity… Fluttershy came to me to warn me that she had just seen a Changeling take on her appearance.” Just like that, she turns Rarity’s eyes on me. While she doesn’t give me quite the same look of suspicion, she nevertheless takes a single sidestep away from me.
I whip my head towards her, and while the tears in my eyes are real enough, I hope and wonder if Rarity will misinterpret them as feeling hurt by betrayal instead of the tears of a reluctant betrayer. “Rarity!” I begin a bit too loud, and wince. “Rarity, I-… I don’t know anything about this.” I almost wince again at such a clichéd opening, but push on. “I never saw any Changelings, but…” Truly unable to find the words through my empathetic pain for Fluttershy, I only look towards her, and Twilight and Rarity take it as an accusation.
Fluttershy finally looks away from me upon realizing what’s happening, and begins to tear up herself and her lips quiver as she looks from Twilight’s uncertain expression to Rarity’s. “But-… but-…” Whether she can’t think of what to say either or is merely chocking on her tears, I can’t tell, but the whimper she finishes with as she lifts a forehoof uncertainly nearly makes me reveal myself right there, but I know I need to get out of this bathroom, at least, to have some way of escape before even seriously considering such a thing.
Rarity seems to almost read my mind. “Twilight, why don’t we take this somewhere less… cramped while we think this over?” Twilight only nods, by the second looking less and less sure and more and more confused. Rarity gives Twilight a sympathetic look, but it only lasts a second before she remembers she's in exactly the same position. Stepping past Twilight and Fluttershy, Rarity leads us silently to the front of the shop, taking a short moment to put up a closed sign on one of the front windows and to close the curtains—quick thinking, making sure nopony sees me and starts a panic about Changelings…
We settle into a kind of circle in the middle of the floor, with me being careful to sit closest to the window in case of a need to escape; Fluttershy sits opposite me, but her eyes wander over everything that isn’t me. Why I simply don’t run now is hard for me to even say to myself. While I would like to think it mostly my Changeling instinct to remain in hopes of feeding off more of Rarity’s love, or some insane notion that I could apologize after being revealed—while I certainly could, I know they would never believe me—I all the same can tell that such thoughts aren’t right, or at least that they aren’t the entire explanation.
A moment of awkward silence with Twilight, Rarity, and myself looking between each other, before Twilight clears her throat, clearly casting her thoughts for some way to begin. “Now, even if-” Twilight lifts a forehoof and points at Fluttershy, who’s eyes dart onto Twilight to stare pleadingly. “-this Fluttershy lied to me, the only explanation is that one of you is an imposter, Changeling or otherwise.” Fluttershy drops her head to turn her crestfallen eyes upon the floor. While, as always, I feel sorry for her plight, my urge to defend myself has not faltered, so I focus on Twilight, readying to answer whatever she may ask.
I’m sure Twilight knows every single one of those other possibilities, but I suppose she spares explaining them in favor of starting to determine which is the real Fluttershy. “I think the simplest and quickest way to verify the real Fluttershy’s identity would be with some trivia that an imposter wouldn’t know, or at least have trouble finding out.”—That’s Twilight, considering every possibility.
“Oh!” Rarity almost lights up with her “I-de-a!” face, but the seriousness of the situation must stop her part way there. Still, she announces with some pride and pleasure, “Like how Fluttershy got her Cutie Mark?” Fluttershy turns to Rarity with a hint of a smile behind her still flowing tears; no doubt, being such a quiet pony, Fluttershy has probably told very few others, if any, besides her friends about how she had earned her Cutie Mark.
Twilight seems to have come to the same conclusion, and nods, smiling. “Yes, Rarity. That should work.” She says before looking between Fluttershy and myself. Taking note of how ever-so-slowly Fluttershy is stopping crying and looking more confident, I follow her example. A moment later and Twilight bites her lip. “We’re going to have to do this in turns… and we can’t let who goes second hear the answer of who goes first…” This time, I let myself smile at Twilight’s intelligence and let it be misinterpreted as confidence.
Rarity taps her chin a few time before offering a solution. “Why don’t you take them into my workshop, one at a time?” Twilight frowns, her eyes wandering thoughtfully before her gaze settles on me. When she nods slowly and seriously, I know she’s going to want to talk to me first—the one she thinks is most likely to be the imposter—to get this over with as quickly as possible.
“Yes.” Twilight finishes with a more decisive, almost jerking, nod before standing and pointing a forehoof—Surprise, surprise…—at me. “You come with me.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had snorted with all that aggression in her voice, but she only spins around, turning her head back to keep an eye on me as she leads me into the workshop.
I wonder upon her antagonism as we trot, but my musings don’t last even as long as it takes us to go that short distance to the workshop door in the hallway just opposite the bathroom. Well… Of course Twilight hates Changelings! Not only was she calling Queen Chrysalis evil before she knew completely what she was, but it was her brother that had been nearly sucked dry of love! My smile falters a bit at that late realization—Will I even be able to get away fast enough once she finds out?…—but already we’re out of sight of any windows, and trying to run now would most likely not end well.
Once we’re inside the workshop, Twilight uses her magic to close and lock the door. She doesn’t sit, only tenses her back, obviously readying herself to attack as soon as I answer incorrectly. “Well? You heard Rarity. How did the real Fluttershy get her Cutie Mark?” Even as I have just rationalized her anger, the force of it makes me back up a bit and widen my eyes. Twilight instantly labels this act of mine suspect, if the way she further narrows her eyes is any indication.
With a tiny step back forward, I recall as much as I can of that episode, now thankful that it had been popular, high-rated, and, most of all, memorable. “It happened at Flight Camp-” I start—Or had it been Summer Flight Camp?…—though I can’t quite remember that detail, Twilight all the same looks instantly shocked, eyes shooting from terribly narrowed to unnaturally wide.
Before continuing, I close my eyes, not wanting to see if I can bare the look on Twilight’s face as she shifts her suspicion from me to Fluttershy. “Rainbow Dash had challenged some ponies who had been bullying me to a race. I was standing on a cloud in front of the starting line and holding the starting flag. When I…” and I went on to describe, in as best detail as I could, Fluttershy’s part of that episode as I watched it again on the back of my eyelids, glossing over some things I suspect might have been exaggerated for the show, such as the “I Love Everything” song.
When I stop speaking and open my eyes, I see that Twilight has gone from surprised to regretful with a kind of sad smile. She sighs and pats my shoulder that isn’t bandaged. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” Those three words send an arc of electricity through my brain—She can’t be doing this! She hasn’t questioned Fluttershy yet! No, no, no!… What am I still doing here?—but Twilight brings me out of my shock quickly. “I should have remembered Changelings are more clever than I give them credit for”—Oh, Twilight… You have no idea…
Only then, after being brought out of my shock, does the answer to my question of “why” hit me: As Twilight rubs her hoof against my shoulder, I reluctantly remain still instead of brushing it away or stepping to the side, and that running-water feeling of love nourishing me comes again as I watch Twilight’s shiver and frown slightly. This time, almost subconsciously expecting it, I focus on that feeling for only a second, but what I find makes my decision harder: It is, without contest, the greatest thing I have ever “tasted,” and though that may not be the most accurate word, I don’t think humans have ever experienced anything close to feeding on love—though I think perhaps its “taste” can be most likened to “power.” I also find, with only vaguely felt horror, that it would be almost impossible for me to give up that feeling willingly, or even difficult to force me to give up unwillingly, bar the most extreme circumstance.
Even as I know this is another instinct of my Changeling body, my resolve not only weakens, but shatters. Twilight unlocks the door and leads me back to Rarity and Fluttershy, and when we enter the store floor, her narrowed eyes land on Fluttershy, shocking her and making her cry after a short moment. Even when she sobs out, “How… did you know?…” I am still unmoved, thinking, Maybe… maybe I can do this after all…
Though her face leaves no question, Twilight still answers without shifting her still unusually angry eyes from Fluttershy. “She managed to hit every detail I remember Fluttershy telling us before. So, unless-” My eyes widen—She’s not going to say what I think she’s about to say! She can’t!—yet even as I think such a thing, I don’t even consider stopping her.
“Wait!” Rarity, in rare a moment of discourtesy, does this for me, and stands abruptly as she cuts over Twilight. I have no idea what, if anything, she and Fluttershy may have just spoken about, but simply the fact she’s now defending the real Fluttershy warms my heart, even as it freezes my stomach. “I know what you’re going to say, but as unlikely as it seems, I think, at least you, Twilight, would not leave that possibility unchecked.”
Twilight opens her mouth, but doesn’t speak, instead only closing it as she looks up at the ceiling before eventually nodding. Fluttershy has to wipe her eyes before following Twilight, and I watch them leave, only turning to Rarity, who seems to be carefully not looking at me, once all of Fluttershy’s tail is out of sight. Worried it may blow my cover, but far too curious, I ask, “R-Rarity… why-…?”
She, however, remains turned away from me, staring at the floor behind herself. “I… spoke with Fluttershy for a little bit, and reconsidered things.” A moment after she finishes, she turns back to me with a grim look, making me unsure—What did they speak about? What is she reconsidering?—so that it takes me a moment to process the rest of her sentence; specifically, where she had said “Fluttershy” so assuredly.
For a moment, I battle with myself, scared to ask, yet scared to not ask. Before I can decide, Rarity answers anyway. “I don’t know whether you know this, because she never leaves her cottage without them, but Fluttershy wears-”—it hits me, in those milliseconds between her words, what she’s about to say, and while my mind becomes too cluttered with, OH NO! to recognize such things, I know it must show on my face—“-tail extensions, and I convinced her to take them off for me.” With that, she levitates the key to my identity from behind herself.
Obviously, my Changeling ability has merely copied Fluttershy’s appearance; it can’t conjure up detachable tail hair, or can it? Twisting in on myself with a shaky breath, I grasp my tail and pull desperately, then bite down on another spot and pull again, then the same for yet another clump of tail. I’ve grasped my fourth mouthful of hair when Rarity sighs and says, “Stop…” with the oddest tone, sounding somewhere between exasperated and exhausted, but, at least, she doesn’t sound angry.
With that, she breaks the “thirst” spell—and I hope at least part of it had been some magic that had driven me to such thoughts—and I do as she says and release my tail, but I don’t look back at her; I feel, then, like I never want to look at her again. Still, I turn around after ten deep breaths, and find she doesn’t look angry, either—not in the slightest—I also notice she’d hidden the tail extensions again. “I don’t pretend to know what you or your queen were thinking, trying to replace one of the Elements of Harmony, but-.”
My flailing mind grasps onto something in her sentence, and I blurt out, “I don’t work for Queen Chrysalis!” That I can tell, by her widening eyes and still-open mouth, is something she hadn’t considered. “I’ve never worked for her; I never will. And I didn’t want to replace Fluttershy. I-… I just-… I’m all by myself.” I hang my head as I realize this is the truest thing I’ve said since having “arrived” in Equestria. “I’m… sorry…” I apologize with such a low voice and in something so close to a whimper that I worry it has been rendered unintelligible, but when I look back up, Rarity is biting her lip. I consider simply running—What’s the point in staying now?—but I only ask, “What… happens now?”
Yet again, Rarity is shocked into hanging her mouth open for a few moments—during this time I wonder about what Rarity thinks she’s doing, having not revealed my identity when Twilight and I had returned from the workshop—before she regains herself and answers. “I know how Twilight is with Changelings; that’s the other thing Fluttershy and I spoke about. As scared as she is of you, Fluttershy still cares about you. That’s just how she is… though I’m sure you already know about that?”
Of course I know, but never before have I considered such being extended towards Changelings, especially considering everypony’s “experience” with them. Still, I nod and even manage a tiny smile. “Yes, but-.” Rarity cuts me off with a swiftly raised forehoof, her eyes focusing on something behind me; turning around, I watch a frazzled Twilight and apologetic Fluttershy emerge from the hall. Fluttershy actually gives me a small smile, completely throwing me off—Just what are these mares up to!
Twilight shakes her head at the floor as she sits where she had before. “I… don’t get it. They both told… almost exactly the same story!” She jerks her head back up with a strange look in her eyes. “I thought for sure that nearly nopony besides us knew Fluttershy’s Cutie Mark story! She’s too-…” Twilight drops off, shaking her head again.
Rarity looks like she’s about to say something before Twilight jerks her head up again. “I’m tired of this! I’m tired of Changelings!” She looks between Fluttershy and myself, pausing long enough for me to consider what she’d just said—“Tired” of Changelings?…—before continuing. “Whichever one of you is the real Fluttershy, I’m sorry, but the quickest way to deal with this is the most direct: when a Changeling is hit hard enough, it’ll revert it’s shape!”
Twilight brings her forehooves up and smacks them together with a sound that makes Fluttershy wince. I only blink at her for a moment, before turning to Fluttershy, who is, strangely, not looking at Twilight, but me, then turning to Rarity, who is also staring at me. A little shiver goes through me; despite Rarity’s assurances that Fluttershy cares about me, she hasn’t answered my question, and that unknown bothers me.
“You!” Twilight points at Fluttershy, who lets out a squeak. “Just stand still…” she instructs as she stands, then crouches and points her horn forward, towards Fluttershy, as it begins to glow. Fluttershy stands in shock and lifts a hoof uncertainly, but doesn’t move as she looks between all three of us frantically.
When she finally simply turns her head to the side and scrunches her eyes shut in anticipation, I shout out, “Wait! Twilight!” I bound forward, using my copy of Fluttershy’s wings to help propel me. For some reason, Rarity bounds after me, trying to trip me and leaving the tail extensions out in the open in their obvious pink. That doesn’t matter at the moment, however, as Twilight doesn’t look up or even stop her spell—Can she even stop? I wonder, but can’t recall any point in the show where Twilight had consciously stopped casting a spell half way through.
“What are you all doing?!” Twilight yells at us without lifting her head, but I can still make out her eyes through the growing light of her horn looking “up” at us. I pay no mind to her, wasting no time in shoving Fluttershy—Sorry!—out of the line of fire, back towards where I have just been standing.
Rarity, for her part, persists in pursuing me, yelling, “Stop!” and with another bound makes to shove me out of the way in turn. I twirl around at her yell, however, which gives me time enough to prepare to shove her back. I rear, meeting my forehooves with hers, creating a great clack. Fortunately, with my hind hooves still on the ground compared to Rarity’s bodily leaping, I easily gain the upper hoof, shoving her back just as I see out of the corner of my vision a streak of violet-pink… magic fire out of Twilight’s horn. Within surprisingly slow milliseconds it fills my vision, then my head feels suddenly light, and I black out after one final thought: Rarity is crazy!
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Author's Notes:
Woah… This chapter turned out, as I've said, almost twice as long as I anticipated… Even as you all, I suspect, would like for such a trend to continue, I hope it doesn't! Trying to get this done by the day I told myself I would put it up nearly wore my fingers down! That, and I suspect the editing could still use some work… As I have no betas, I suppose I'll turn to you, my readers, for help. So, please, point out anything you even think you spot.
I LOVED IT
i can beta read for you
yay cant wait for the next one
I like it.
Ouch, this can't end well
I can't wait to see what happend next. MOAR!
I like this. I like it a lot.
507633 Actually, it would be much better if you kept at least a minimum word count of 4k words for each chapter. Having a goal for words can be hard and, at times, really annoying, but it does a lot to improve your style if you really try to meet those demands. As for this story itself, it's pretty average. I knew it was only a matter of time when it came to a species-swap Changeling HiE, and this one pulls it off rather well. Not knowing how to control his powers, let alone how to even eat is a really interesting tone-down for what could have turned into a "lol let's screw with ponyville" story. Those are annoying. However, you've done something pretty neat with the story here: the reluctant villain. Nobody ever writes reluctant villain-heroes anymore, especially in fanfiction, where even if their guys aren't mary-sues, they still want to be portrayed as the hero.
Barring a review longer than your first chapter (which, yes, I have written those before, if very rarely. Fear the review, my friend) which I won't do simply because I'm short on time right now, your story needs a lot of work. I recommend getting a team of volunteer pre-readers and editors together (there's a difference between the two) and firing everything you've got. Most of the general "i will beta read for you" people can't be trusted, by the way, and it's often easier to tell who's criticism is valid simply by looking at how they support their argument of "why" it's good or bad. I recommend looking through some of the various "Editors/Prereaders" groups on fimfic, because there's always some volunteers. Also: use google docs. It can be confusing at times but can be incredibly useful for editing your fic once you get used to the layout. It'll speed up the editing process, trust me, probably by an entire few days. Otherwise I'd be happy to volunteer me services as an editor.
Also, the difference between an editor and a prereader (beta reader, some will say) is that editors are the ones that tell you your writing is garbage and how to fix it, while prereaders tell you you're awesome and if they could preread the next chapter it would be really nice.
In short: Good concept, flaw-ridden writing, needs lots of work, but still promises. Good luck, mate.
Excellent story can't wait for the next chapter.
After slogging through dozens of stories about Changelings or Chrysalis, I have a small pile of three or four worth following. This is certainly one of them; keep up the good work!
I hate stories in present tense form, I prefer past tense but this story plot is so good that even though I hate the style of writing I keep on reading, no ofense or anything
Cliffhanger.
We meet again...
Looking forward to more!
Yes, this is certainly developing in a very interesting direction. Keep it up.
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Now I'm even more sorry I can't get stuff out quicker for you... 
Thank you all so much!
507854
And thank you for your honesty and time!
First, I have always preferred more grey-toned stories, with all characters having good and bad points. It makes the characters more interesting, and as I believe characters are the most important component of prose, more interesting is always better. I'm sure, however, you can already tell this by how much focus I put the main character's thoughts.
Second, word count is something I've learned to ignore, myself. What constitutes a "chapter" is, after all, too plastic and ultimately unimportant. Whether a 75K piece is split into 20 chapters or 50 makes no difference to anything but the metatext. Putting details where they matter and leaving out things that do nothing is much more indicative of skill, I say.
Third, thanks for that advice regarding editors and prereaders as well; I honestly wasn't aware there was even a difference! I may look into those groups, but if you're volunteering, I would at least like to know what you think so far.
While I tried looking into Google Docs, it did, indeed, scare me away. I may try again, but even I'm not sure how seriously I want to take this, at least yet. I only started this story on a whim, everything beyond the most pivotal plot points are very much written by the seat of my pants, and I know it's not my best work—I'm terrible with the first-person—so, given all that, what's happened to this story here is already past my expectations!
508065
Wow! Following something even though you hate the style? I think that says something good about the story!
508076
Oh, what fun would life be without cliffhangers?
I had to read it again a few times to understand what happened exactly.
The only question is whether this is due to your writing style or the fact that English is not my native language ...
All that is left to say is, mach weiter so, ich will mehr!
507710 YOU ARE EVERYWHERE HOW
loved the chapter btw keep it up.
Very good.
508281 is me being everywhere a problem
508412
its your face it scares me
508448 why do you think i picked it im THE DIABOLIC GNOME so i needed a creepy pic
508454
well ill see you.... everywhere i guess
Oooh, If that isn't a way to inspire some slight trust, I'm not sure what is... Although everything before that might sorta detract from that.
Still, great chapter!
508466 i am always watching
always
I beg you, please update faster. THIS IS GREAT and from many stories about changelings, this is one of the best.
awsome and congrats to 109 thumbs up
508735
That's actually the /worst/ thing you could do. Take your time; we can wait!
this is realy good please post next chapter soon
me gusta
There should be a changeling emoticon
I like this story a lot
I am so so hoping for a chapter fast
Good concept
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Thanks!
Thank you, everyone! I really do wish I could get more out faster
508504
Pesky morals; why do they have to be so complicated?
508814
I hope so! I don't want to lose my wonderful audience
509032
That, or a Chrysalis. Or both!
I WANT MOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
you has earned a favorite!
you dont have to worry about loosing your audience cause the audience knows who has swag and who doesnt
509117 509198
Yay! The kind of reaction a summery should hope for!
Your story has me hanging over every word and anticipating the next chapter so much that I'm checking just about every day for an update.
Thank you for the amazing story!
"you or your queen we’re thinking"
Should be "were".
I enjoyed it, it was well written and the scenes are played out nicely. Though it was rather disconcerting to be honest. I realized one of the stories I am writing, while having nothing to do with a human in Equestria, manages to look take on much the same elements of your story; i.e. mistrust, confusion, hiding amongst the ponies, feeding off love, ect...
Hopefully I won't have to change it too much to avoid it being a "copy" of your story.
508241 Ah, yes. On the note of word count, I personally believe that the word count matters to the reader as far as the time it takes to read and, to a point, it reflects how much effort the author either chooses to put into the story, or is forced to due to conditions otherwise, but mostly just general choice is perceived. Many busy fanfic authors have chosen to release longer wordcount chapters, even if it takes a bit more time. That's just opinion on my side, mostly, but it's from an educated observation as far as I can see - but then again, I'm me, so... ah, I digress.
Google docs mostly just really speeds up editing time. If there was another, quicker way to contact you, I'd be happy to give you a brief run-down of how to set up an editable story on there. As for the volunteering thing, I'll definitely put some more input in, but as of right now I've little time to devote to major reviews, not like I usually do at least. Finals and all. I'd be happy to do it whenever I can, though.
509931
Besides, more goes into a story than themes. Characters, delivery, tone... if enough of those a different to create a unique reading experience, then I don't have a problem! 
Thank you, but there's no need for that; favoriting a story will tell you when it updates. That, and it will be a while before the next chapter.
510055
Thanks for catching that!
510060
Thank you!... And it's not like there has never been fan fiction pieces that are basically carbon copies of each other, right?
510288
Indeed. I just thought I would mention it; I don't want to be called a... "Changeling", if you catch my drift.
510576
Oh, that's a good one!
I had the same idea to write a HiE fanfic where the guy gets turned into a changeling. However before I was going to work on it anymore I searched the site to see if it had been done yet, and I see someone was way ahead of me.
But your story is really well done and I can't wait to read more of it.
Ye seem ta have gotten this a lot, but...
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
In fact, I reckon ye'll get yer storee featured on tha' shinee box a' the mast o' the ship ta starboard quicker than ye can sing "This Day Aria" in its entiritee. Insert obligatoree ARRGH 'ere. </talk_like_a_pirate>
ANYHOW, for those who don't take MOAR for an answer, I love this story and I dearly wish to see more! This has been tracked and given a thumbs up.
512478
You should totally write your own story. There can never be enough fictions and everyone should be able to express their own ideas without the fear of "copying" someone else just because there may be similarities.
Also, I'm bored and want to read more "human gets turned into changeling"-stories. ... I demand MOAR!
511177
I demand MOAR from you too! But I already wrote that earlier.. Yesterday..
512478
but I really doubt it. Thank you anyway, for the track and thumbs up, too!
As DergrößteBrony said, you should go on ahead with yours anyway, and as I've said to Basilisk Hack, especially if it has a completely different tone.
516299
Nice sentiment,
dude make like 1000 or 1400 words not 5000 then we wait longer sure not big but hey its faster ('
');
moar
I really like the premise for the story. My only gripe is that there are a lot of grammar mistakes; mostly misused verb forms. If you want a pre-reader/editor, I'd be happy to help out!
This story isn't bad! Though, it's a little amazing how many views and likes it's got. With only 2 chapters! Just goes to show how much an original idea is appreciated. Good luck with the story.! Oh, and update now!
Or, you know, when the chapters ready. Either one's fine.
I sense Twilight having a bit of a crisis. A random changeling out of nowhere just displayed more concern for her friends' well-being than she did by stopping her from hurting one of them.
Great story so far.
Also, looking forward to seeing how he'll explain his knowledge. "Changeling Sense" would be very simple and very frustrating to Twilight.
523764
That's what I'm thinking! I didn't expect to even reach 100 favorites!
And I'm working on it! Really, literally writing right now.
523856
Perhaps... there is always more than one way to interpret an action...
While I think that idea would be fun, that's probably more fit for a normal, comedy, and/or random story... of which this is none.