This is very old. This is the remnants of my cringy past - go stalk my Tumblr instead. ;) XPShowHost
Five nights at Pinkie's
Rainbow Dash visits Pinkie Pie after those type of hard work days, Rainbow Dash shows Pinkie Pie a new horror game, but it ends horribly. Mrs. Cake.. what have you done?
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[CANCELLED] This project was cancelled due to the lack of further ideas and lack of people wanting the story to continue, if you would like to continue the story yourself, or really want me to continue, then please comment below!
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Fixed all the paragraph and read-abiltiy.
Looks pretty good, but the chapters are kinda short, being only about 900 words, id combine the two you have right now, to get ris of clutter in the chapters when its finished
5376761 Don't worry, when I finish there will be roughly 8-9 chapters, then I might combine them :)
Today's a new day! And because I didn't upload a chapter yesterday, I will upload 2 today!
Sorry about times!
I'm in UK/Britain, So things may seem like I've been staying up all night to do these!
I check my account here on FIMfiction.net everyday! So if y'all want to ask questions, your always welcome!
Please remember guys, Laura/XP/PinkamenaNderpy/Me is working butts off doing this.. Ugh.. I'm not feeling the best so I'm making the story longer for how long this is taking, I'm thinking around 20 chapters now? And they might be a bit short? Sounds cool.. right?
Before I begin this review.. This type of thing is so overrated by now!
Those type of work days? What type of work days? Periods exist alongside commas... How does one go from playing a game, to waking up in the game? From what I have read so far, I'm confused.
Chapter 1:
You know, there is a button to center all of this.
*kind of
*ya'
*go to
*in fact
------Before I go on! I would just like to point out you merged a lot of words that don't need to be merged. So, I will not list all of them.-----
They never call her Dash, Dashie or Rainbow Dash is fine.
They call her Pinkie or Pinkie Pie, never Pinks.
*Pinkie Pie
Okay, your grammar is kind of off, the problem seems to be with the spelling. I don't like this story at all, and I'd hate to keep reading on. The chapters also seem to be short. ~ Silver Spoon
Wait, wait wait. Whats happening? Could you clarify it a bit? I like the idea in all, but the story is quite confusing, and not very detailed. No offense er anything, just VERY confusing.
5394445 this isn't based on the show, Dash and Pinks*
*this is sometime in the future, explaining the new nicknames.
So this story is confusing? The actual FNAF game is confusing, the next few chapters explain this.
My grammar is bad? Dude, i'm an 11 yr old female from England, i'm not 100% since i'm actually polish.
5408922 FNAF is a confusing game, i'm basing it on that. Soon all will be revealed, oh, and Pinkie's not actually physicslly IN the game, she's in the real place.
Not detailed enough? Let me show you something:
Pinkie grabbed the silver, shining knife and placed it gently on Dash's stomach, then slowly shanked Dash, the moist fleshy meat squelching at the impact. Pinkie stripped it open, the blood oozing on Dash. Pinkie grabbed the caterpiller and put it in between the Liver and ribcage, a loud, squishy noise errrapted from Dash's stomach as the thing started eating the liver, making a carrot eating sound.
Yeah, my friends think it's one of my creepy talents.. i'll soon replacr it with somethinf FAR worse than that.
And sorry it's a weird story.
I'm only 11 (female)
And i'm polish.
Guys, sorry for the wait, this story is on hiatus! (Holiday) For Christmas, sorry for not saying that I've been busy on my youtube channel.
5433581 Hey Derps and Pinkamena what did princess Celestia post that had her comments deleted? Also you skipped a chapter. (chapter 3)
5431510 Um, that means I should report you. You have to be at least 13 years old to sign up.
5527144
Wait, chapter 3 ain't there? Well great...
It has a red circle next to it, hmm...
And I don't know what she wrote ;c
Thanks for enjoying the story and sorry for the haitus, I've been having lots of bullying problems...I even cried after school a few days ago.. My lungs got kicked and I have asthma.. Geez, t'was gasping for breath.
5544656 Shut up it's the internet were on here we all know it's filled with lies porn and more porn. Besides i was 12 years old when i signed up on here. I was also nowhere near my b-day.
5544656
This is a duo account. My friend works with me.
She's 13.
We're both friends.
She's in-charge of making sure the story is interesting and different.
I'm in-charge of the storyline and ideas.
Yes, I have a high imagination disorder.
Oh, and when you say I'm not perfect at grammar, honestly what do you expect? I'm polish! I am still developing English and have the highest school grade in High school [Year 7] in my form. 5C.
Well, then again my form are a bunch of idiots X3
So, if you want the story to be better I suggest you wait for the story to end, it's in early development so when it's done I'll be dusting it and polishing it [Obviously not ACTUALLY polishing my screen] but basically I'll be editing it all, I want the story to be complete first so I can do all my work in 1. I find it easier to do things when they are complete. I'm that kind of a person, don't judge me.
5560646 Excuse me? Rules are motherfucking rules. I understand this is her duo account which means I don't have to report her. But when a user states they are younger than 13, it is bound to attract someone's attention. That someone will possibly take action. So please excuse yourself.
5568819 I will have to agree with you, that person over reacted a bit. But yes.
5568819 Really? A possible 5 year old filly saying that? Someone should report you for being underaged. Also didn't see the duo account part there.
New profile picture!
5575328 No i am not kidding there is a song and play on the internet that shows what it really is for. Here let me show you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV7ou6pl5wU
5575974 Watching this gets me thinking XD
Oh, and look at my newest video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCFAWABkhPk
5576023 Suddenly 20/20/20/20 mode
5576030 Oh dear god...
But anyway, I over reacted about NIGHT 6 XD
5575964 This is a profile picture. Please educate yourself.
5576857 Or is it?
5576857 I have to agree with you.
PinkamenaNDerpy? [AKA XPGamers] It's me, Amethyst.
I was wondering if me and Mikayla, my friend, could do a sort of riff of your story.
5621737
Whaaaaa? Like, what do you mean?
riff?
Oh, and why's your name 'Whitelotus'?
BTW I could've guessed, our profile pic is so guessable XD
Guys! The story is being continued today!! :)
5527144 Hey there, just added a new chapter and am working on another story today :)
Hey! I would like you to know i want you to continue the story. I only saw it had been cancelled now, and also what you said about continuing. I just re-read this chapter, and i want to see what will happen (possibly know what did the voices on her head said, too).
Anyways, i hope you can have new ideas.
6789073
Hi! I just signed in for the first time in years. Sorry, but I will not continue this story as it's really stupid and old, and it makes me cringe. I've grown up a lot from the stories I wrote here and I can write a lot better now. =)
Although I don't have any stories right now, I will one day.
Thanks for liking this old trash pile, though!
7247238
Never.