Flash Sentry, a new student at Canterlot High School, must adjust to life in a new town and school, make new friends, battle evil creatures that threaten mankind, and solve the mystery lurking within Canterlot's social media network.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, the horoscope's starting to get sorta... unconvincing, isn't it?
And shortly, we get to see whether it's for the obvious reason or not.
I... actually had wondered how Mac felt about not being capable of taking the reigns of Sweet Apple Acres.
Because the current status quo isn't exactly a good setup, either...
Please excuse me while I clean up a little mess. All that that mention of good homecooked food...
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Huh, I see you're being a little more transparent with the Social Link points now.
That's a matter of opinion.
Not really a viable option.
"Gotta milk 'em all"? Some interesting general tomfoolery. I'm sure that AJ was just pointing out that Pa Apple's medical bills are a financial drain. It's not nice to say, but that makes it no less true. And, unsurprisingly, Twilight loves the smell of bacon.
Next morning, I feel my something wet and warm enveloping my both hands...
Twilight is noming on my right hand. While my left is inside of Pinkie's overalls.
I could never be trusted in a smokehouse. I'm already a carnivorous beast that devours meat relentlessly. Being that close to that much meat? I couldn't control myself.
5936455 You and me both...I'd be eating a smoked ham and cheddar or bacon and cheddar or jerky and cheddar sandwich ever five minutes...or just gorging myself on smoked cheddar...
So Scootaloo... do wanna be the very best, like no one ever was?
Well, nothing bad has happened yet. I know what day to look out for, but I'm still keeping an eye on things.
5936243 Yeah, I'm seriously suspecting these horoscopes too. I don't think Eris/Fluttershy is controlling these horoscopes. She wouldn't have the time. All of this is assuming that Fluttershy is Eris. Which I strongly believe...
Part of me wonders if it isn't Mephistopheles hacking the horoscope now...
NO TWILIGHT! Bad girlfriend! No eating...
Uh, this suddenly became awkward to write.
Yeah, I'm starting to get suspicious about these....
"F'er example, that ol' bag of bones usually shows up 'round this time of year to try and drag me off." Granny reached from behind her to pull out a massive battle axe, notches and grooves telling of long use. "So let's make sure to show him exactly who's in charge here."
You have heart. There's a pretty big difference.
"And don't get me started on the mole-people invasion!"
I've seen enough Horror-films to know where this is going....
Farm work. It's hard, it's necessary, and most people really don't appreciate just how much of it there is. Nice job with this. Tomorrow should be interesting...
5936474
Agreed. Smoked food is best food.
5936680 ESPECIALLY smoked cheddar. God, I love smoked cheddar. But it's prohibitively expensive. If it didn't cost upwards of seven bucks a pound, I'd have it every day with everything.
5936575 Like I just said, I don't think Eris-Shy has been doing these past few horoscopes... I'm afraid Mephistopheles has found out and might be overwriting Eris-Shy's overwrites, trying to not-so-subtly tell Flash to butt out. Of course, I'm not even sure he's still reading them, he's so set in his course to expose Fluttershy as Eris.
5936474
My uncle makes smoked cheese and salmon.
And we get fresh eggs from my grandma's chickens.
Yummy stuff.
Really Moth?
Make me hungry, AGAIN!?
You, are terrible, you know that?
(J.K., love your work man)
God damnit, I just got home, I haven't had much to eat, and now I'm starrrvvvviiinnnnggggg. >:(
5936474 You forgot barbecue. Then again, I am a Deep South boy, so take that as you will.
5937312 I never forget barbecue, trust me. :9
When I saw today's horoscope, I tought of that line from "the wizard of Oz", 'Don't look at the man behind the curtain' or what is was.
5936831 Nope, that's Sunset Shimmer.
5936692 Ha! I live less then 3 miles from a cheese factory! Direct prices! Love the Fancy Jack myself. That's pretty good stuff.
5937993 I'm not a huge fan of jack myself, or white cheeses in general (except swiss if I'm eating turkey and/or ham) except under certain circumstances. I don't outright dislike it, it's just a different flavor from what I like in a cheese. I'm very much a yellow cheeses man, mainly cheddar. The sharper, the better. I have yet to meet a cheddar that's too sharp for me.
I frown at my horoscope. It's obvious what's happening here --the hacker must have discovered our plans, and is trying to dissuade us from them. But no matter. We're at a farm, we're miles away from civilization... it's now or never.
Yes, we ARE getting drunk on moonshine and getting each other's names tattooed on our lower back. Hell, Pinkie already did the latter and isn't even drunk yet.
The sight of Rarity screaming and clawing at the ground in her cucumber, tomato, and avocado mascara frightens everyone awake for the rest of the day.
"Hey, at least he's the cock of the walk!"
...Twilight is pulled into the ruckus.
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"Oh look! Birds of a feather really DO flock together!"
"Why, you--!"
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"A chicken period isn't much better!"
Even after Rainbow and Pinkie decide it's "easier" to go skinny dipping in the watering hole behind the farm.
"'Making a list of today's activities', check. 'Reading list aloud', check. 'Assigning items from list', check."
"Um, no, that's actually my last name."
"Your name is Fluttershy Fhffrfy?"
"It's East Czecoltovakian. We we were neighbors with Dr. Hfuhruhurr."
"Way to throw us under the bus, kids."
"Ah may look eighty, but Ah'm only forty nine! This's what housework 'round a farm does to ya!"
"Exactly. You water 'em, we eat 'em."
"We can't plow three hundred hectares without a tractor!"
"Sure ye can! Ah just push th' plow wit' mah head REAL hard!"
"...that explains too many things."
"In Scootaloo's lunchbox! ...what, are we not doing that anymore?"
"'Hang checklist by the door', check!"
"Ewwww..."
"An' we gotta shower wit' lemon juice right after, else it clings t' yer hair somethin' nasty."
"Ewwww!"
"You can paint with all the colors of the wind."
"..."
"BBBFF, you're a dork."
i.imgur.com/hlA4rHy.gif
"Impressive, but I don't see how it helps us paint any faster."
"The handle behind the wheel is the break, the stick next to the seat makes it go, and the pedals handle the windshield wipers. How hard can it be?"
"Was jes' thinkin' we country folk don' really wear no Daisy Duke overalls cut halfway up th' bum or chew on wheat stalks."
"Yeah, Rarity tends to be very passionate about the authenticity of her wardrobe."
"Ye sayin' mah sister ain't pretty?"
"...uh-oh."
"How's that stop ye from havin' a third?"
"Lack of stamina?"
"Not the best answer, Flash."
"Or at least a nudist."
"We're very sophisticated."
"Hey, Flash?"
"Yeah?"
"Mental image too?"
"Yeah..."
"Don't let Big Mac notice."
"Yeah."
It's not even tin, and the cats up here are yowling in pain.
"Don' that chafe sum'thin fierce on sensitive parts?"
"I don't think she'd let that stop her."
"Yes, but the marquee lighting and the velvet curtain would've ripped loose with the first rainstorm."
"That's what the camo-print poncho covering was for!"
"Wellllll... how do you feel about peaches? And mangoes?"
"...Ah dunno what yer nude selfies wit' Flash have to do wit' the sign."
"Just trying to distract you while we bolt out the door."
"Ah, decomposition. Hadn't smelled that since my days in the force."
It's not five minutes before I'm kicked out to the cold for stinking up the tent, and I decide to sleep with the pigs in the nice, cool mud.
"I just wanted to shave off some bacon bits off you!"
"...I feel like I should whap you for that."
"Cows! Love cows! Gotta milk 'em all!"
WHO'S THAT POKEMON? ITS MILTANK-oh god run away, Whitney set it on the loose, run for your lives!
You know...I wouldn't mind a bit of rarimac in this story...
SO glad I finally caught up in only two weeks, and even from the very beginning..
This is a good story and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Shining Armor disturbs me.
~ Wolfram Alpha
5942511 What, for thinking Rarity has a nice ass? It'd be more disturbing if he didn't think that.
5943145 Yep.
5942932 True dat my man, true dat.
I can definitely see Twilight noming on someone who smells like food.
Classic Twilight
Truer words have never been spoken