Fighting with the inner darkness inside his heart, Sora starts to wonder if he is really fit to be called a keyblade wielder.
Well this all comes into question when he wakes up in a strange new world, filled with people that he has never met before, and with signs of evil planning to attack Sora has little time to think. Will Sora become the hero of light and stop this evil from taking over, or will he cave in to the darkness that resides in his own heart?
Everyone's a human. Unicorns can use magic. Pegasi have wings.
Green means play. Red means stop.
Chapters (26)
Excellent beginning.
This chapter is great.
Ok, this story is great. I really like your rewrite of Hakuna Matata and I enjoyed the interaction between Sora, Pinkie, and Rarity. You get a fav and a like. I hope the next chapter comes soon.
I'm only on the prologue and I'm already excited
I had a little trouble with the dialogue. When a new person speaks, you need to make a new line of text. Otherwise, it's hard to tell who is talking.
Other than that, I like this concept.
This looks like it could be a very good story, i hope you make every chapter as long as this one, please take your time for it, it feels more satisfying to read such a big chapter.
I don´t know if i would enjoy Pinkie or Rarity as his girlfriend, while i don´t like Rarity X Spike, i still ask myself, if i would enjoy Pinkie X Sora a little bit more.
Can he still summon a few friends? Like Genie? (i just aks, if it is possible if he should fight against Discord or something like that)
Please don´t let all of them fall in Love with Sora, sometimes it looks weird if hundred woman suddenly love that one guy, that is new in the world. I guess you could say it would not be anything near special if more should start to like him,.....well maybe another one, but not all of the main six again.
I ship Sora x Fluttershy so much!!! Loved how those two got "A whole new world" song!! I love it! Oh I can't wait to see the day Fluttershy uses the summon charm!
So Rarity, possibly Pinkie Pie, and now Fluttershy have a crush on Sora. I'm glad that Roxas appeared again, as those two fighting Heartless was awesome. The scene about which of the girls would take Sora to their house was hilarious and I enjoyed the way Sora comforted Fluttershy via flying carpet and the Aladdin Song (RIP Robin Williams). Thanks for the amazing chapter.
That was a nice chapter, i would not mind if he, and Fluttershy would be together in a while, if Roxas is able to exist now, then i would say he could get a girl too.
I already looked for it again, but are they normal Human, or are they anthros? I just saw that you made them to be Humans, with horns/wings.
I still hope you don´t start to let Applejack,Twilight, and Rainbow Dash fall in love with him too, it is probably going to be bad if all of them fall in love with him. I can believe that everyone wants to be his friend, but that all of them want to be his girlfriend would be a bit to much.
i want to see sora hang out with rarity next and share a duet with her since he did it with pinkie and fluttershy
5838686 they are humans but the ones that are pegasi as ponies are humans with wings and the humans who are unicorns in the show just have magic period I don't like the idea of a human having a horn coming out of their head.
5839031 good, to be honest i don´t get the point of the Humans having a horn too, i mean anthros or Human with a horn, i don´t think there is much of a difference.
Longs story short, i don´t like it either.
Nice cover picture.
5844685 Did i say, i just dislike you story? of course no. i don't dislike you. just, the way of story is getting hit the nervous. so i will stop this chapter.
P.S: keep it up with you story.
Edit: are you kidding me? you delete my comments?
Really enjoyed watching Rarity play Sora like a fiddle and Roxas' bonding with Sunset.
Welcome to getting your tail served 101. You professor is Roxas. Let the teaching begin! XD
Okay i guess how Sora is acting aroung Rarity is more or less normal for him, but i hope that i remember it right, and he liked Fluttershy.
Honestly i would have liked Roxas for Rarity, because he is more mature, and well sometimes i just don´t want Rarity to get nothing.
However, nice Roxas Chapter, he seems to be my favourite whenever i see him.
I love KH and this story is a pretty good read so far. 358/2 days has been one of the games I have had the most fun playing and seeing oblivion brought back the memory of that final mission and the feels. Love it, keep goin.
love this story and looking forward to the next chapter hope you update soon
I feel like the pacing is all kinds of weird. You need to slow down more and establish the scene better. IT feels weird seeing it kind of jump from place to place so quickly.
You also need to work on your dialogue. Not to be rude, but it can come off as linear and I'm sure you're better than that. Also stop making new quotes for the same person when there's a period in there words. IT's really flow breaking when you do this and also incorrect.
For example:
Not sure if the same diamond dog is talking or not. And if it is than you don't need to beak the dialogue into two parts. Now don't get me wrong, this chapter has far less of these types of mistakes compared to the first three, with chapter 4 being slightly less developed than this one.
Also Roxas's return from last chapter was WAY too sudden of an appearance. It had no build-up whatsoever and I feel jarred immensely by that. You need to have spent more time hinting at his possible revival during the previous chapters before his return so it evens out somewhat.
It just feels like Roxas was just BAM right there out of nowhere and in written literature it takes far more effort for such an appearance to happen without some explanation.
I enjoyed the girls' reaction to Sora's Wisdom Form. The battle with the Dogs was well-written. Keep up the good job.
Yes I've been waiting for this chapter. Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come.
to be honesti forgot if they are anthros, real Human, or the normal Roxas, and Ponys.
okay i know at least that they are nott ponys.
Nice chapter, i think i really start to like everything right now.
5993739 thanks for the feedback
I caught the dragon Ball z refrence
5996073 ☺☺I knew someone was gonna get eventually
This is an AWESOME improvement to your writing. I'm proud to say that this chapter is of high quality
We some chapter. I liked how Sora is willing to face Cerberus and the scene with Shy is adorable.
I'm really liking the story so far, keep it up. Sora egging Cerberus on was pretty funny. Happy Birthday and stuff, well wishes and things.
Happy birthday, i really hope Fluttershy get´s lucky, and hopefully long befor the story is going to end.
Happy belated birthday!
6054143 Thanks everybody!!!
hey did anyone see the new KH3 trailer it looks awesome and looking forward to the next chapter hope you update soon but no rush
Wonderful chapter. The fight with Cerberus was entertaining and it was pretty sweet watching Fluttershy sing and give the Wayfinder to sora (and trying to be on the same tent as him prior to that). Thanks for the chapter. Hope to see the next one soon.
I am suprised that she thinks of Spike as able to fight good enough, but i don´t remember if he got some sudden training that made him stronger in a few seconds, like in another fanfiction. Honestly i hope he wasn´t able to got stronger because of some simple training, but i think i have the wrong fanfiction right now.
Honestly i skipped the singing part a bit, i mean i like it, but i usually skipp it in a story, but i made sure not to miss anything important, and it was a nice chapter.
at 2:04 sora meter.
Nice to see this story again. The appearance and taming of the mythological dogs was amazing and it's nice to see Roxas and Sora develop the need to protect Sunset and Fluttershy. Keep up the good job.
Pretty good, though there were a few spelling mistakes here and there, for the most part it was pretty self-contained. Though I felt like the fight between Roxas and the mystical dogs was WAY to shortly described. Like come on man, expand it like maybe 500 words more for that fight.
nicely done
Yes a very good opening grabber with the opening theme.
This will be a good read.
This is great like what you are doing.
Yes I like where this story is going, you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work.
So... human (but not EqG human) versions of the Mane 6 and Spike for this, huh? All right.
Genie and Discord (IF he's going to part of this story) in a scene together. I CAN'T BE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT?!?!?
Cliff hangers coat hangers blimp hangers goddammit
Excellent cliffhanger and it was nice to see Sora and Roxas bond with Fluttershy and Sunset. Great chapter, as usual.