Twilight Manages to Screw Up More Than Usual

by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Interlude: Tea Party

Celestia slowly descended into the depths of the castle dungeons. Her hooves fell heavily on the stone steps, which were shrouded in inky shadows. Sparse torches lining the wall provided the only visible light, save the aura emanating from Celestia’s horn.

In her magical grasp, she carried three things: a teapot — the contents of which sloshed around inside with each step she took — and two teacups.

As she reached the last step, she saw two guards standing in front of a heavy steel door. They had been slouching slightly, but stood at attention when they saw her coming, their armor rattling at the sudden movement.

She nodded at them, not speaking a word as her magic quickly undid the dozen locks that bolted the heavy door shut. It slid open with a hissing creak and she walked through, letting it shut behind her.

The room she had just entered was small, mostly because it was cut in half by a series of iron bars. The side she had just entered was bare except for a single stool in the center. On the other side there was much more to look at.

Sitting towards the back wall was a dark, lanky figure with an ethereal mane. Chains from all sides of the wall wrapped around its body, most coming to rest on the neck and legs. Its horn held three inhibitor rings, each doubly protected by wards Celestia herself had cast on them. Its wings were bound in a straight jacket, and then sealed in again by steel that wrapped around its entire midsection.

Even with all these precautions, Celestia still felt a little anxious as she took the seat opposite of Nightmare Moon and set the tea set down.

“Hello, Celestia.” Nightmare slowly turned, causing dozens of chains to rattle.

“How did you know it was me?”

Nightmare Moon giggled sinisterly. “The dark forces under my command are far more potent than I’ve lead you to believe. Nothing happens in the entire city of Canterlot without me knowing of it.”

Celestia raised a dubious eyebrow. “Really?”

She scowled. “Yes.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just overhear the guards mention it?”

“Yes, I am entirely sure!” Nightmare shouted.

“Mmmhmm.” Celestia’s horn sparked to life and she started pouring two cups of tea. “So I’m sure those ‘dark forces’ of yours told you why I’m here.”

“Of course they did.” Nightmare glanced around the room for a moment. “But… uh, remind me really quick.”

“I was hoping we could talk over some tea.” She levitated one of the full teacups over, but Nightmare Moon only scoffed.

“Tea? Are you insane? I am the Night! The Night does not drink tea.”

Celestia looked to the ground and sighed. “You always used to love our little tea parties, Luna.”

Nightmare Moon went rigid, her slitted pupils shrinking. She shot forward, snarling, her chains catching her before she hit the edge of her cell. “That is not my name.”

Celestia frowned. “It still is… to me. Don’t you remember? We used to get the servants to make us those little blueberry muffins you liked and I would bring my stuffed bear Mr. Fluffles.”

Nightmare scoffed. “I only remember living in your shadow for eons!”

Celestia’s frown deepened. “We’d only been Princesses for ten years.”

“Semantics.” Nightmare Moon whipped her head indignantly. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here; this small talk is like grinding a cheese grater to my ears.”

Great, she’s already delving into figurative language. Celestia cleared her throat. “Well, you’ve been on my mind quite a bit lately.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Nightmare Moon grumbled.

“And when I was raising the moon today I—”

“You were touching my stuff?” The chains rattled as Nightmare Moon lunged at her, the chains jerking her to a stop. “Oh that is just like you! Of course you’d take the moon all for yourself after usurping me!”

She sighed choosing not to dignify that comment. “I realized we had yet to speak about, well… everything.” She levitated one of the teacups into the cell.

“And did it happen to cross you mind that, oh I don’t know, I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU?” Nightmare Moon continued her struggle against the chains, baring her fangs.

Celestia chewed the inside of her cheek, a habit of hers that she had long considered broken but had recently taken up again. “Perhaps this was a mistake.”

“You think?” Nightmare Moon snorted. “Everything you’ve ever done is a mistake, Celestia. Trying to keep a shining star such as myself in your shadow for instance. Or taking in that limp-brained unicorn as your protege.” Celestia’s eyelid twitched as Nightmare laughed. “Though, I suppose her intelligence level matches your own. How else could she have screwed up so badly?”

Breathe Celestia. Just breathe. She shook with constrained anger, her voice struggling to remain level. “Leave Twilight out of this.”

“How can I? She’s the whole reason I’m still here. She was the kingpin of your millenia long scheme to ‘reform’ me, and she failed! Miserably! Oh, the shame you must feel.”

Celestia ground her teeth. “It was not her—” she bit the inside of her cheek, stopping short. “I failed her, not the other way around.”

“You both failed.” Nightmare coyly grinned as she crossed her forelegs, chains rattling.

“Maybe so, but unlike me Twilight might be making progress to fix that. I believe in her, and from her most recent correspondence I know she is on the right path to—”

Nightmare snickered. “Don’t act like you care about her, Celly dear. I saw how disappointed you were. Not like I could blame you either; how she managed to get the wrong Bearers is—” She broke off, devolving into a fit of laughter. “Mother of me, it was absolutely priceless.”

“Shut up.” The words escaped Celestia’s lips far more heated than she meant them to be.

“Oh my, don’t tell me I’ve made you angry.” Nightmare Moon giggled gleefully. Celestia flinched at how utterly Luna it sounded. The laughter faded however, taking the remnant of her sister with it.

Swallowing her anger, Celestia sighed. “Twilight made a mistake, but I do not hate her for it. Just like I don’t hate you for the mistakes you’ve made… Luna.”

Her laughter came to a grinding halt, her eyes boring into Celestia. If looks could kill, the Princess of the Sun would be dead, revived, cloned, and then be forced to watch all of her clones be killed before dying again.

Even so, Celestia didn’t even let her spine shiver with discomfort. She glanced hardly back at her sister — at whatever was left of her sister — undaunted.

“I have made no mistakes,” Nightmare Moon growled lowly.

Celestia’s eyes slowly glanced over the confinements of the room. “Are you sure about that?”

“I have made no mistakes,” she reiterated. She casually picked up the cup, swirling the tea inside as she spoke. “Everything I’ve done has only fueled my burning hatred for you. It has only made me stronger, and more certain than ever that I made the right choice to rebel. And when the time comes that I stand above your beaten, broken body, laughing at the horrors you’ve endured at my hooves, the ashes of your kingdom scattered beneath me, and the divine light of the moon glistening against my armor, you will know that I have made no mistakes.”

Her tirade finished, she took a sip of the tea, only to spit it back out in disgust. “Ack! Bleh! By Starswirl's gnarly beard this tastes awful! Did you make this yourself?”

“Yes,” Celestia admitted, setting her own cup down. “The Royal Tea Procurer had already gone to bed when I decided to visit and I did not wish to wake her, so I made the tea myself. Another one of my mistakes, I guess.”

“Oh Tartarus, there’s an aftertaste.” Nightmare Moon spat, trying in vain to save her taste buds.

A small smile managed to crease Celestia’s face. Some things never change.

“You will rue the day you fed me this wretched tea! I will destroy you!”

The smile faded as reality gave her a solid uppercut. “I doubt it. Twilight is on her way to fixing the Elements… somehow. She’ll save you, Luna, just wait and see.”

“I WILL BRING ABOUT ETERNAL NIGHT!”

Celestia sighed again as she stood from her chair. Nightmare Moon was delving back into another spiteful rant; there would be no talking with her after that.

“THE MOON SHALL REIGN SUPREME. ALL THE PEASANTS SHALL BOW DOWN TO ME AND ME ALONE!”

She’s really far gone, Celestia remarked as she collected the tea supplies and made her way to the exit. Twilight, whatever you’re doing, please do it quickly.

She shut the cell door, cutting off Nightmare Moon’s manic cackling.

Comments

[wlam]

“Tea? Are you insane? I am the Night! The Night does not drink tea.”

Coffee only. Black.

[Sanguine Eyes]

HELLZ YEAHZ. princess derp!! XD

[Mister E]

“Tea? Are you insane? I am the Night! The Night does not drink tea.”

Celestia: Something else then?
Nightmare: 100% Jamarecan coffee! Black as the pits of Tartarus from which my hatred forever burns for thee!
Celestia: Mmm hmm... cream?
Nightmare: Cream made from the milk of the cows grazing upon Hells own half acre, and frothed in the fires of the seventh circle!
Celestia: Riiight... sugar?
Nightmare: Art thou trying to make me FAT?
Celestia:

Also...

“You were touching my stuff?

Priceless.

[Raistlin]

6092745

Bad idea.

1.bp.blogspot.com/-zhVfFJmHwwI/UqoqXzCf12I/AAAAAAABoUY/k3-s4Q50VS0/s1600/BbUI%206LHCEAI2-jv.jpg+large.jpg

[DreadedCandiru2]

Well, once she DOES realize that friendship is magic, Twi's going to open up a file of powerpuff on Black Snooty's skidplate.

[RanmaChaos]

Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.

[honeyhoneyhoney]

The funny thing is that canon actually matches how these sisters speak to one another...

Aha! The jokes on us!

[i_am_the_jam]

And sadly, the alternative is to wait 70-80 years for the current bearers to die, and as each one dies, the Elements would choose new ones from the new generation.

[Fire Gazer the Alchemist]

6093012

How will Twilight become the Princess of Friendship now?

Dealing with that is so far down the road that I wouldn't even begin to worry about it if I were you. Glad you're enjoying it so far, though.

[Nightmare Wolf]

Good chapter. I always thought about NMM as a sarcastic anti villain, tsundere Luna, than some real, evil being, and I see that you make your own somewhere in the middle.
You could lean a bit more towards anti villain you know.

[Fire Gazer the Alchemist]

6093429 Perhaps I shall in some later chapters.

[Sandy Sam]

NMM was funny.

[BlueYoshi]

I guess teas are Nightmare Moon's biggest weakness.

[Seratina]

This chapter was a bit darker than I expected. Not that it's a bad thing, but that was a pretty realistic (IMO) portrayal of what NMM would be like. I'm just imagining one of my brothers saying that to me...

[ShadowLDrago]

Sitting towards the back wall was a dark, lanky figure with an ethereal mane. Chains from all sides of the wall wrapped around its body, most coming to rest on the neck and legs. Its horn held three inhibitor rings, each doubly protected by wards Celestia herself had cast on them. Its wings were bound in a straight jacket, and then sealed in again by steel that wrapped around its entire midsection.

I see you're not taking chances, Celestia.

“Hello, Celestia.” Nightmare slowly turned, causing dozens of chains to rattle.
“How did you know it was me?”
Nightmare Moon giggled sinisterly. “The dark forces under my command are far more potent than I’ve lead you to believe. Nothing happens in the entire city of Canterlot without me knowing of it.”

Oh?

“Are you sure you didn’t just overhear the guards mention it?”
“Yes, I am entirely sure!” Nightmare shouted.

Whatever you say.

“Tea? Are you insane? I am the Night! The Night does not drink tea.”

Don't you now?

Celestia looked to the ground and sighed. “You always used to love our little tea parties, Luna.”
Nightmare Moon went rigid, her slitted pupils shrinking. She shot forward, snarling, her chains catching her before she hit the edge of her cell. “That is not my name.”

Seems you've hit a nerve.

Celestia frowned. “It still is… to me. Don’t you remember? We used to get the servants to make us those little blueberry muffins you liked and I would bring my stuffed bear Mr. Fluffles.”
Nightmare scoffed. “I only remember living in your shadow for eons!”
Celestia’s frown deepened. “We’d only been Princesses for ten years.”

Really?

“Semantics.” Nightmare Moon whipped her head indignantly. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here; this small talk is like grinding a cheese grater to my ears.”

Figurative language, you fiend!

“You were touching my stuff?” The chains rattled as Nightmare Moon lunged at her, the chains jerking her to a stop. “Oh that is just like you! Of course you’d take the moon all for yourself after usurping me!”

She's trying to keep the night and day cycle going.

“And did it happen to cross you mind that, oh I don’t know, I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU?” Nightmare Moon continued her struggle against the chains, baring her fangs.

I guess she doesn't care.

Celestia chewed the inside of her cheek, a habit of hers that she had long considered broken but had recently taken up again. “Perhaps this was a mistake.”

Perhaps.

“You think?” Nightmare Moon snorted. “Everything you’ve ever done is a mistake, Celestia. Trying to keep a shining star such as myself in your shadow for instance. Or taking in that limp-brained unicorn as your protege.” Celestia’s eyelid twitched as Nightmare laughed. “Though, I suppose her intelligence level matches your own. How else could she have screwed up so badly?”

Uh oh.

“How can I? She’s the whole reason I’m still here. She was the kingpin of your millenia long scheme to ‘reform’ me, and she failed! Miserably! Oh, the shame you must feel.”

Yes, piss off the alicorn who currently has all the power here, pure genius.

Celestia ground her teeth. “It was not her—” she bit the inside of her cheek, stopping short. “I failed her, not the other way around.”
“You both failed.” Nightmare coyly grinned as she crossed her forelegs, chains rattling.

Against, don't poke a dragon.

“Maybe so, but unlike me Twilight might be making progress to fix that. I believe in her, and from her most recent correspondence I know she is on the right path to—”
Nightmare snickered. “Don’t act like you care about her, Celly dear. I saw how disappointed you were. Not like I could blame you either; how she managed to get the wrong Bearers is—” She broke off, devolving into a fit of laughter. “Mother of me, it was absolutely priceless.”

It's easy to forget how cruel Nightmare can be.

“Shut up.” The words escaped Celestia’s lips far more heated than she meant them to be.
“Oh my, don’t tell me I’ve made you angry.” Nightmare Moon giggled gleefully. Celestia flinched at how utterly Luna it sounded. The laughter faded however, taking the remnant of her sister with it.

Guess you have.

Swallowing her anger, Celestia sighed. “Twilight made a mistake, but I do not hate her for it. Just like I don’t hate you for the mistakes you’ve made… Luna.”
Her laughter came to a grinding halt, her eyes boring into Celestia. If looks could kill, the Princess of the Sun would be dead, revived, cloned, and then be forced to watch all of her clones be killed before dying again.

Impressive.

“I have made no mistakes,” Nightmare Moon growled lowly.

Then why are you the one in chains?

“I have made no mistakes,” she reiterated. She casually picked up the cup, swirling the tea inside as she spoke. “Everything I’ve done has only fueled my burning hatred for you. It has only made me stronger, and more certain than ever that I made the right choice to rebel. And when the time comes that I stand above your beaten, broken body, laughing at the horrors you’ve endured at my hooves, the ashes of your kingdom scattered beneath me, and the divine light of the moon glistening against my armor, you will know that I have made no mistakes.”

Whatever you say.

Her tirade finished, she took a sip of the tea, only to spit it back out in disgust. “Ack! Bleh! By Starswirl's gnarly beard this tastes awful! Did you make this yourself?”
“Yes,” Celestia admitted, setting her own cup down. “The Royal Tea Procurer had already gone to bed when I decided to visit and I did not wish to wake her, so I made the tea myself. Another one of my mistakes, I guess.”

I supposes so, yes.

A small smile managed to crease Celestia’s face. Some things never change.

I suppose you have a point.

“I WILL BRING ABOUT ETERNAL NIGHT!”

Of course you will.

Celestia sighed again as she stood from her chair. Nightmare Moon was delving back into another spiteful rant; there would be no talking with her after that.
“THE MOON SHALL REIGN SUPREME. ALL THE PEASANTS SHALL BOW DOWN TO ME AND ME ALONE!”

Whatever you say.

She’s really far gone, Celestia remarked as she collected the tea supplies and made her way to the exit. Twilight, whatever you’re doing, please do it quickly.
She shut the cell door, cutting off Nightmare Moon’s manic cackling.

This is kinda sad actually.

[arancaytar]

“Tea? Are you insane? I am the Night! The Night does not drink tea.”

img07.deviantart.net/5f22/i/2013/024/4/6/stop_touching_me__i_am_the_night__by_alexander93-d5sl144.png

[keaton-furman-prower]

6093235 The alternative alternative is to kill all the current bearers (Both the "Right" ones and the "wrong" ones) so they can get new bearers immediately

[TheGreatEater]

6097632

Nope the true alternate, alternate, is for Derpy to become an avatar of rainbowy destruction and Shoot rainbow lazors out of her wing tips. And summon an army of dinky's to glomp all evil doers (the cute attack would be supper effective. For not even Sombra can resist a Dinky Glomp.)

[Valikdu]

a white unicorn who had some sunglasses resting on the top of her head

Her vision is augmented.

[Valikdu]

6092745

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/1/8/801865__twilight+sparkle_princess+celestia_semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-johnjoseco_princess+molestia_photoshop_i+need+an+adult_star+trek+voyager_sfdebris_kathryn+janeway.jpg

[Star Brush]

6093381 TWILIGHT SHALL BECOME THE PRINCESS OF AQUAINTINCESHIP!

[Dustchu]

AGGHGHGCHSKAGDJSDAHFJ *criez in dark corner* no updates... as of yet!
Awesome job so far on this story man, it is looking great! :D

I can't wait for more.

6141473 Well... that's scary D'=

[DarkPinkie]

Hmmm. Sound to me like the solution here seems to be as simple as a therapist. Maybe some calming pills first though.

Little Lulu just seem to have a inferiority complex and way too much angst. Hormones also seems to be a factor. In other words, Luna (er, Nightmare Moon) is acting like a typical teenager.

[Housecarl of Clan Drops]

6092745

Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than Tartarus itself...

[Rivael]

OMC, chuunibyou Luna!
I love it.