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It's a perfect day in the life of Twilight Sparkle. Ponyville's chief librarian has everything she wants: her books, her studies, a faithful dragon assistant, and the opportunity to go visit Sugarcube Corner on a beautiful afternoon, hanging out with the best friends that a young unicorn could ever ask for.
And yet, in spite of all this, Twilight has the distinct feeling that something is missing...
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I heard a notice, and i saw dear old shortskirtsandexplosions post something, and i kid you not i went "Hargarbargleglarble!
Yes! I LOVE YOU!
"
Alright SS&E,
What in the hell do you have planned this time?
Alright. I see what you're doing here.
Are the title of the chapters reminiscent of the soundtrack for the game Transistor?
I didn't entirely follow some of the changes, but this was very sweet and moving.
5093030 I want a recording of that sound.
What the hell have you done with Spike?!
Huh...
And I was beggining to think that Colt Angle, The Undertrotter was the universal constant.
drinks.seriouseats.com/images/2012/04/20120425lonestarbeer.jpg
This was beautiful, it was clever and fantastic and more adjectives.
I do believe I love this, it was very superbly executed, I didn't even notice any changes until the very last part of chapter 2 (which is what I assume you were going for.)
I give this fic the Foxler's Belated and Unexpected Achievement award which it will hold from now until the end of time itself, whereupon whatever great beings left in the universe will look back and say; "That guy once made a really good fic there and then".
I also feel a little ashamed that I immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was a FlutterTwi fic, for that I apologise, and now I'm off to read some FlutterTwi fics...
Stories like this are why I follow you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wow ... that came out creepier then expected.
This chapter hurt. I realize that if I didn;t have Skype... I probably wouldn't talk to anyone all day.
5093182
billpullman.org/film/spaceballs/S17.jpg
Wow. Like so many of your stories, Grorious Reader, I don't qwuite grasp certain aspects. Is this future Twilight looking on at the end of time? Or at the end of some distant battle?
It doesn't matter. The message of the story rings true. Great job, brother.
I think you mean 'maize' here.
That should be Twilight, not Dash
I see what's happening here. Chilling, yet terribly interesting.
Who controls the feature box and why isn't this there?
Very surreal, and drastic on the part of the surprise antagonist. The 'experiment' is really the best possible mindfuck, because it benefits both parties.
A real treat, this. Something to read again when I'm feeling philosophical.
Wow. Just... wow.
I love this.
Dear shortskirstandexplosions: Okay, my last comment wasn't so much a review as it was a loss for words. Here are the ones I've found:
Wow. I cannot say how incredibly moving this piece of writing is. I began it thinking it would be a simple extra timeline/alternate universe fic. I could not have been more wrong. Somehow, in just 18,617 words, you have embodied the entirety of the meaning of My Little Pony, and so much more. It literally brought me to tears. You have caused me to feel the pain the characters felt, as well as the tiny spark of hope, and the sheer elation and love at the very end. I have to admit it changed something in me for the better, and there is a warm feeling in my heavy heart because of it. Thank you so much for this piece of beautiful writing.
Pants.
Man. It feels like you just reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. Then you spritzed it gently with rosewater , tied a Little ribbon around it in a bow, put it back in and sealed the wound with a kiss.
I HAVE FEELS AND THEY ARE COMPLICATED
Stop pretending to being a mediocre writer.
This story spoke to me on a spiritual level. Not many stories, or people for that matter, can do that.
Man this story made me incredibly uncomfortable as I was reading it. You have this delicious ability to stick the knife straight into my heart and twist it. It tastes like iron, but somehow, I crave the taste and seek more.
I figured out what was going on after the second iteration, but it kept getting darker and darker, making the world worse and worse for the absence of each pony.
Thank you for that.
Spoilers for those who haven't read.
Other than minor technical mistakes here or there, this is a great story. As soon as I got to the second chapter and things were going exactly the same, I knew something cool was up and was gripped from start to finish, and watching Twilight's friends go down one by one was quite interesting, and her spiel when things were at their worst was heartwarming.
Yet I had to dislike this story. And I have to apologize for that, this really is a good story. But I'm just so sick of 'Alicorn Twilight outlives her friends' being the basis of stories, and it utterly killed my enjoyment of the fic. Really petty reason, I know, but it is how it is.
What? Is she...dead? Is that going to be the twist?
God damn it. I was so interested in finding out more about their relations to the diamond dogs.
Oh.
Oh.
So that's whats going on...So she is actually dead, and Luna has apparently decided to torture her? Or something?
5094075
So you're downvoting a story because of other stories?
Isn't that a bit backwards? Downvoting a good story because there are other stories similar to it seems a bit strange; if you felt it was good, why would you downvote it?
Alright, why the hell is Luna so focused on ruining the Diamond Dog relations, and/or making sure Twilight isn't happy?
Edit: Oh shit. Without Rarity they never used the Elements of Harmony.
One bit of critical feedback:
I noticed in the first chapter that the characters smirked a lot. Like, in 2000 words, we had like, eight smirks. That's a high smirk to word ratio. It ended up pulling on my attention when I was just looking at the first chapter.
Ah. And now that Rainbow Dash is gone, they never got their specific cutie marks.
Though apparently more is being changed. I don't see how Rainbow Dash not existing would change almost all of their names.
5094139
Not just other stories: I strongly dislike the premise in the first place. It's a cheap way to go 'oh look in the future Twilight's gonna be sad and alone isn't that terrible don't you feel sad now?' This story used it to more unique effect than others, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable when the plot turns out to be immortality issues.
That plus a personal, unhealthy hatred of Twilicorn led to me not liking this fic in the end.
...Really?
Luna did all of this just to...oh wow. I think I actually hate this version of Luna.
5094191
i.imgur.com/1YtNPOe.png
...It was herself.
It...was herself.
What the...why would...but I get why she would...
What the fuck!?
"Don't... d-dp not confuse these tears for sorrow." - little typo there
Really great stuff here skirts. I miss your sadness, it's the only kind that brings me close to tears.
5094231
From the last chapter, if I can summarize it right:
An immortal figure stands at odds with time, at the end of everything. A curiosity strikes her, and she begins to question her memories - did she always have that spark that made her who she was all along, or was it something given to her?
At least that's my take of it. Is that why she would?
THE TEARS!!!
Knife in the heart is what this story is.
Nonetheless, you get a thumbs up (would be more if it were possible).
whatever you've submitted here still has everyone waxing poetic.
Good to hear you've still got it in you, skirts.
SO WHENS the end of end of ponies coming
ha~
I may not entirely understand, but then again, I guess that was the point.
I don't know what goes on inside your head, nor can I pretend to. I don't even know what you think about what you've written here, what it means to you.
But I do know this. It means a lot to me. It says a lot about many things. It teaches the importance of the important things, and gives us hope and gratitude for a better, happier future, whatever darkness we may pass through.
I don't understand you man. I don't even know if you consider me a friend. But I consider you one, and would like to meet you one day and thank you for the interesting forms of encouragement you have given me.
Your friend always,
PiercingSight
5094166 Well, if you had paid attention, Pinkamena said somrthing along the lines of "at least I didn't have to change my name to be accepted". As you should know, a common theory in the fandom is that ponies change their names to better match their cutie marks.
What if this is a more desolate and dramatic way to say you were displeased at the fact that Twilight became an alicorn, and that this story was the culmination of the fact that Twilight and her friends would eventually drift apart and lose their values, until they separated, and Future Twilight/Lone Star's future came true? (This seems to be the battle going on, but perhaps not the reason, yes, no?)
just another "woe is me, I'm immortal" fic.
5094166
The names are different for two reasons by my reckoning.
Pony names often match their cutie marks, so it stands to reason that if their cutie mark is different then they may have been named differently in the first place.
Also, in the case of Fluttershy, she appears to have willingly changed her name to escape the past.
I'm not sure which category AJ is in; whether her altered life changed her name from birth or if she changed it to fit in better with the Manehattan lifestyle.
5094632 Not just another, the very best.
Twilight's home life is miserable, Rarity's workload increases, the diamond dogs are still hostile....showing consequences (or rather, less fortunate states of affairs) for each missing character is a fine way to show their positive contributions to society. It's like Groundhog Day and a slightly more subtle It's a Wonderful Life smacked together.
Oh, and Applejack likes wrestling.
There goes the big one.
I want to put a comment here, but it feels empty, as no words are sufficient to describe the experience of reading something so profound.
Damn it SS&E, you magnificent bastard.
Ah, my excellent SS&E, another day, another story, another Triumph! A story about hope, the anathema to life, a rare piece indeed. Truly well done.
5095020 As poetic as that comment was I was distracted by your profile picture.