_s_o_m_e_w_h_e_r_e__s_o_m_e_t_i_m_e_
On a plateau, somewhere, sometime...
Overlooking the desolate plains of a once fertile land...
She sits, her horn bathed in stars, and other dying things.
There's a ringing in her ears, a voice from long ago.
The light beaming from her horn focuses, bending from several colors into one fixed point. When at last all is clear, she exhales.
Her glowing eyes open, wet with tears.
"You're welcome," she says, folding her wings to the vestiges of eternity. A smile crosses her lavender cheeks, a very warm thing. "And thank you."
On majestic legs, the alicorn stands. She turns around, facing the ever-dimming horizon. When she trots forward, she does so humming.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 11k words · 376 5 · 4.9k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 3.6k words · 544 12 · 7.5k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 7.5k words · 468 6 · 5k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 13k words · 188 3 · 2.7k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 7.4k words · 798 30 · 5.9k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 15k words · 456 6 · 5.9k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 9k words · 577 38 · 7.3k views
- shortskirtsandexplosions · 3.8k words · 219 35 · 3.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.214 seconds
Total duration
696 users online
1,019,193 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I heard a notice, and i saw dear old shortskirtsandexplosions post something, and i kid you not i went "Hargarbargleglarble!
Yes! I LOVE YOU!
"
I didn't entirely follow some of the changes, but this was very sweet and moving.
5093030 I want a recording of that sound.
This was beautiful, it was clever and fantastic and more adjectives.
I do believe I love this, it was very superbly executed, I didn't even notice any changes until the very last part of chapter 2 (which is what I assume you were going for.)
I give this fic the Foxler's Belated and Unexpected Achievement award which it will hold from now until the end of time itself, whereupon whatever great beings left in the universe will look back and say; "That guy once made a really good fic there and then".
I also feel a little ashamed that I immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was a FlutterTwi fic, for that I apologise, and now I'm off to read some FlutterTwi fics...
Stories like this are why I follow you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wow ... that came out creepier then expected.
5093182
billpullman.org/film/spaceballs/S17.jpg
Wow. Like so many of your stories, Grorious Reader, I don't qwuite grasp certain aspects. Is this future Twilight looking on at the end of time? Or at the end of some distant battle?
It doesn't matter. The message of the story rings true. Great job, brother.
Who controls the feature box and why isn't this there?
Very surreal, and drastic on the part of the surprise antagonist. The 'experiment' is really the best possible mindfuck, because it benefits both parties.
A real treat, this. Something to read again when I'm feeling philosophical.
Wow. Just... wow.
I love this.
Dear shortskirstandexplosions: Okay, my last comment wasn't so much a review as it was a loss for words. Here are the ones I've found:
Wow. I cannot say how incredibly moving this piece of writing is. I began it thinking it would be a simple extra timeline/alternate universe fic. I could not have been more wrong. Somehow, in just 18,617 words, you have embodied the entirety of the meaning of My Little Pony, and so much more. It literally brought me to tears. You have caused me to feel the pain the characters felt, as well as the tiny spark of hope, and the sheer elation and love at the very end. I have to admit it changed something in me for the better, and there is a warm feeling in my heavy heart because of it. Thank you so much for this piece of beautiful writing.
Pants.
Man. It feels like you just reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. Then you spritzed it gently with rosewater , tied a Little ribbon around it in a bow, put it back in and sealed the wound with a kiss.
I HAVE FEELS AND THEY ARE COMPLICATED
Stop pretending to being a mediocre writer.
This story spoke to me on a spiritual level. Not many stories, or people for that matter, can do that.
Man this story made me incredibly uncomfortable as I was reading it. You have this delicious ability to stick the knife straight into my heart and twist it. It tastes like iron, but somehow, I crave the taste and seek more.
I figured out what was going on after the second iteration, but it kept getting darker and darker, making the world worse and worse for the absence of each pony.
Thank you for that.
Spoilers for those who haven't read.
Other than minor technical mistakes here or there, this is a great story. As soon as I got to the second chapter and things were going exactly the same, I knew something cool was up and was gripped from start to finish, and watching Twilight's friends go down one by one was quite interesting, and her spiel when things were at their worst was heartwarming.
Yet I had to dislike this story. And I have to apologize for that, this really is a good story. But I'm just so sick of 'Alicorn Twilight outlives her friends' being the basis of stories, and it utterly killed my enjoyment of the fic. Really petty reason, I know, but it is how it is.
5094075
So you're downvoting a story because of other stories?
Isn't that a bit backwards? Downvoting a good story because there are other stories similar to it seems a bit strange; if you felt it was good, why would you downvote it?
One bit of critical feedback:
I noticed in the first chapter that the characters smirked a lot. Like, in 2000 words, we had like, eight smirks. That's a high smirk to word ratio. It ended up pulling on my attention when I was just looking at the first chapter.
5094139
Not just other stories: I strongly dislike the premise in the first place. It's a cheap way to go 'oh look in the future Twilight's gonna be sad and alone isn't that terrible don't you feel sad now?' This story used it to more unique effect than others, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable when the plot turns out to be immortality issues.
That plus a personal, unhealthy hatred of Twilicorn led to me not liking this fic in the end.
5094191
i.imgur.com/1YtNPOe.png
...It was herself.
It...was herself.
What the...why would...but I get why she would...
What the fuck!?
5094231
From the last chapter, if I can summarize it right:
An immortal figure stands at odds with time, at the end of everything. A curiosity strikes her, and she begins to question her memories - did she always have that spark that made her who she was all along, or was it something given to her?
At least that's my take of it. Is that why she would?
THE TEARS!!!
Knife in the heart is what this story is.
Nonetheless, you get a thumbs up (would be more if it were possible).
whatever you've submitted here still has everyone waxing poetic.
Good to hear you've still got it in you, skirts.
SO WHENS the end of end of ponies coming
ha~
I may not entirely understand, but then again, I guess that was the point.
I don't know what goes on inside your head, nor can I pretend to. I don't even know what you think about what you've written here, what it means to you.
But I do know this. It means a lot to me. It says a lot about many things. It teaches the importance of the important things, and gives us hope and gratitude for a better, happier future, whatever darkness we may pass through.
I don't understand you man. I don't even know if you consider me a friend. But I consider you one, and would like to meet you one day and thank you for the interesting forms of encouragement you have given me.
Your friend always,
PiercingSight
What if this is a more desolate and dramatic way to say you were displeased at the fact that Twilight became an alicorn, and that this story was the culmination of the fact that Twilight and her friends would eventually drift apart and lose their values, until they separated, and Future Twilight/Lone Star's future came true? (This seems to be the battle going on, but perhaps not the reason, yes, no?)
just another "woe is me, I'm immortal" fic.
5094166
The names are different for two reasons by my reckoning.
Pony names often match their cutie marks, so it stands to reason that if their cutie mark is different then they may have been named differently in the first place.
Also, in the case of Fluttershy, she appears to have willingly changed her name to escape the past.
I'm not sure which category AJ is in; whether her altered life changed her name from birth or if she changed it to fit in better with the Manehattan lifestyle.
5094632 Not just another, the very best.
I want to put a comment here, but it feels empty, as no words are sufficient to describe the experience of reading something so profound.
Damn it SS&E, you magnificent bastard.
Ah, my excellent SS&E, another day, another story, another Triumph! A story about hope, the anathema to life, a rare piece indeed. Truly well done.
5095020 As poetic as that comment was I was distracted by your profile picture.
You have a fetish for looping scenes of mindfuckery, don't you?
5095028
It seems that Twilight Sparkle believes in angels.
P.S. Recognise the Postman? If you are distracted by my avatar but don't recognise the postman I will be very upset.
Full circle.
5094191 It wasn't used "to a more unique effect", dude; it was critical to the story's function.
5094191
You are a bad reader and you do not deserve the use of the like or dislike buttons. You have failed yourself and your fellow readers.
5095060 I do recognise the postman. Vaguely.
I'd imagine that Twilight wouldn't believe in angels, though? Scientific and everything as she is she would just probably try and explain them logically.
5095123 I entirely agree with Aurora Dimmet.
It is clearly Twist.
My understanding: In the very distant future, as entropy comes to its maximum point*, the alicorn, Twilight Sparkle, falls into a depression and begins to doubt the value she embodies: harmony. It feels like it was all for naught. As the depression worsens, she begins to doubt that there was anything special there in the first place, that her beliefs and convictions were not intrinsic, but only due to her friends.
Basically, she's is convinced that she got it wrong.
Bitter, angry, she creates a spell which doctors her past, cruelly removing the core members of her friend group one-by-one and seeing if the harmony dies with them. If her past self becomes miserable and loses the harmony within her, then she will no that it cannot last, that chaos will always reign supreme; but if she retains that spark, then it proves that harmony in something intrinsic and indestructible, which validates her reason to be in a universe gone to chaos.
Pretty standard Skirts' themes, but told well, told powerfully.
If there's an area in need of improvement, it's the first three chapters. Since so much of the narrative is recycled, it grows tiring to read, and I found myself skipping large chunks of it just because I'd read it before. You could try find some way to add a new tilt to it, keep it interesting, but I think it's an unavoidable problem for a story of this form.
On the whole, an interesting, melancholy take on the Princess Twilight shizznit. You capture her spark well, that joy for living, and I find that quite inspiring.
Nice stuff.
* Entropy is the measure of disorder or chaos in a system, which feeds back into what Twilight said about chaos consuming everything.
5094191
What? No, this isn't about future Twilight being sad because her friends are gone, and immortality therefore sucking. Pay attention to the story itself, and not just the tropes in it!
In this story we have the future Twilight, having fallen into despair, take her own past and study it as through a prism, splitting splitting her relationships apart one by one, and examining whether or not the glimmer of hope, the spark of friendship in her, is an external thing, something she only had because of her friends. Turns out that it isn't: even when she peels all the friendships away from her past self, losing Spike's support, Rarity's generosity, Dash's loyalty, Pinkie's laughter, Applejack's honesty and Fluttershy's kindness... even then, she retains that spark.
Satisfied that Friendship exists, even with her friends subtracted, Twilight lets her past combine in the full rainbow of Harmony, and in her far distant present, shakes off her despair and begins her journey anew.
5095399
Yep. Interesting and well executed. Trippy as heck, too
5094075 Now, let's put a perspective on what you've done here. Let's say you went into a Romance story. Everyone thinks it was well written, but once you get to the end, they reveal a TwiDash pairing, and since you dislike TwiDash, you down-vote the story. You cometely ignored whether the fic was written well or not, and just downvote it because you don't like a trope used in the story. There's a difference between downvoting a story because it was badly written and downvoting because it didn't fit your headcanon.
so, it's probably the Twilight explanation. At first I didn't think that's what it is, but given the description of the alicorn, it's what makes most sense. So, it is Twilight outliving her friends, exactly as Foxy E is saying. yea, I'm also not huge on that premise. I'd prefer if it was something else. But it's okay, I can live with it.
Something different: let's take a look at the letters.
1: _j_u_s_t__a__s_p_a_r_k_
2: _j_u___t__a__s_p_a_r_k_
3: _j_u___t__a__s_p_a___k_
4: _j_u___t__a____p_a___k_
5: ___u___t__a____p_____k_
6: ___u______a____p_______
7: __________a____________
So, the letters that are erased are
S
R
S
J + A
T + K
U + P
this has to mean something. There is no way SSE does this without a double meaning, he always puts something in his chapter names
Unfortunately, I don't get what it is. At first, I thought it was the first letters of the missing ponies. That'd be
S - Spike
R - Rarity
S - Rainbow Dash
JA - Pinkie Pie
TK - Applejack
UP - Fluttershy
Unfortunately, that stops making sense after the first two. Even if we use the alternate names, it doesn't work. If we flip JA it's AJ, which works for both Applejack and Apple Jewel-- but for the wrong chapter. is it coincidence that it works for the first two? Or is there something else? Anyone got an idea?
Your chapter titles make me really itchy.
Meh. Would have been better as a one shot.
5095128
I'll keep your judgement of my taste in pony fics in mind for the future. Clearly I must seek further enlightenment.
I don't think you're a bad reader for liking something I don't.
5095094
I understand this story wouldn't exist without immortal Twilicorn being upset. But that's not something I understood going in, and reaching the reveal was disappointing.
5095399
I absolutely agree, the theme presented is great, and as I said earlier Twilight's speech about how even still she was happy for what could be was heartwarming. But I dislike the catalyst for the events so much that it ruined the rest of the story for me.
5095454
I believe it's more similar to going into an adventure fic, and right after the climax Twilight and Dash share a passionate kiss and announce their love with no hints of shipping in the tags or prior chapters. It may be well written, but some people dislike shipping (not the ship, just shipping itself) enough that it would damage their enjoyment of the rest of the story enough that they actively dislike it.
5094191 Do you realize that you're basically saying "This is a well written story, but because of my personal bias I MUST down vote it."
Do you have any idea how close-minded that is?
You're denying yourself the enjoyment of something because of a predetermined course of action.
That's like going to a dinner party, enjoying the soup immensely, and then forcing yourself to throw it up because it had onions and you hate onions.
It's a completely mad frame of mind because it not only gives you the unlikeable quality of being unable to compromise, but it also is detrimental to your ability to enjoy life to the fullest!
I HATE certain kinds of music, but I firmly, 100% believe that there are musicians and songs out there that I will absolutely adore because they are done too well to be denied. I still have that general dislike for those kinds of music, but I'd be a fool to throw out the baby with the bathwater and miss out on brilliant music by denying any possibility of an exception to my personal views.
Sweet Celestia...I think I see what you did there. Not gunna lie...but just wow...to actually go that route with Twilight...
Well, either way, well done, well done indeed! Hope things go well for ya, and know this will be on my mind for a while!!
5095850
Let's not forget, that with the downvote it's like sending a consumer report that the soup was terrible. With actually posting about it, it's like arrogantly proclaiming to all other patrons that onions are just the worst thing ever and completely ruined the soup that you just enjoyed - even with the onions that helped you enjoy it.
No rhyme or reason to anything this... person, did.