I'm a young writer (elementary school) who enjoys singing, and writing mlp fanfics. I enjoy comedy and romance fics the most, and I mostly only read and write fics about Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash goes to Twilight's library to borrow the new Daring Do book, but while Dash was there, she found a book with the name of "My Little Dashie". Rainbow is confused on why the hay was there a book with her name on it. Of course, Dash reads it.
It's not what she expected.
There will soon be a sequel to this called: The Search For My Dad.
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This is a pretty original idea so I commend you for that also your writings good to.
I think it would have been interesting to see how Rainbow would have reacted to other emotional parts of the story but overall this is a good story. I'll stick around to see where this goes. Good luck with this story.
OH GOD FEEL ATTACK!!! i will stay alive long enough to read this tho. Its even worse now that ive finally read MLD, but just like i said they'd some how reunite.
Eh, the concept is alright. It's a lot better than most of the other My Little Dashie spinoffs that show up. But the execution is lacking.
First of all, a grammar point:
Don't put the dialogue tags on their own paragraph.
Second, the way you're writing Rainbow Dash is off. You're writing her as if she's dumb:
Rainbow Dash is not stupid.
Third--and this one kinda ties in with the second--Rainbow Dash is written to be way too credulous:
Really? She's just going to assume the book is factual just because it says "A true story" on the cover? She's not going to assume it's a weird prank? She's not going to look for evidence that it happened?
I think the story would be a lot stronger if Rainbow Dash starts out denying the book, only to eventually learn somehow that it's true. As it stands, though, the story doesn't really evoke any emotions. It just careens from "Dash reads a book" to "and now Dash is having existential angst." She may as well have read the Necronomicon, if you're going to go with this story structure.
Great story, but it needs a bit more polishing. The past and present tenses are mixed up, there are a few grammar errors, and it could use just the tiniest bit more detail. Other than that, it's perfect.
*gets to letter*
NOPE. I'm done. Can't do it. The feels are too much.
i.imgur.com/UHNBdN9.jpg
5102981 I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!
I'm loving it so far! Another chapter, please!
The feels
It's not good.
ITS AMAZING JGgRrIkKJjHHHHhHh
All these feels
5103390 Eeyup
5102790 Thanks for the adivce, I'm glad you liked it!
5102718 I didn't say Rainbow Dash is dumb, because I agree. She isn't. I said that she forgot that Twilight could fly. Also, it said "true story" on the back, not the front. I like your idea with Rainbow denying the book, and I have editted it. Thank you for that
I will use your advice for future fanfics 
Thanks again!
I would like to point out she can never be with her father again.
Remember? The timelines?
2 days in Equestria = 15 Years Earth?
Unless... time was screwed up in the process of Twilight and co. getting RD back-
AUTHOR I BEG YOU PLEASE! PLEASE MAKE THIS POSSIBLE!
[EDIT] Um... not to bother you author, but you didn't use any tabs in the beginning of your paragraphs.
[Second edit] RD: YOU TORE ME AWAY FROM THE PERSON THAT LOVED, FED, AND SHELTERED ME FOR 15 YEARS.
Flutter: But... we're sorry.
RD: I FORGIVE YOU ALL!
-_-
5104675 actually it was 2 months=15 years
5102981 i agree the feels are off the charts
5104675 She wanted to forgive them. I guess she was just moslty angry at Twilight. Thanks for the comment, though.
5104675 Omg I actually forgot about that!!
Thanks for reminding me
5105157 How do you...
Forget it. Your welcome
Why is Dash talking about a portal? She got sent there by a cloud bursting spell that went haywire, not a portal...
Anyway, this has potential, get an editor!
~Lonelydarkness
P.S. If you need an editor, I'm available-- just P.M. me.
Why did Twilight have the book and how did it become a book in the first place? She cant see her farther again because of the time differences he will be long dead.
OH GOD THE FEELS!!!! Great story though
5105224 Lol I know, I have a horrible memory
I haven't read MLD in a while, but I still should've rememberd.
5105275 In the story it says that the book tellaported into Twilight's house. She decided to keep it there because if it goes anywhere else, Dash might end up finding it. The book wrote itself because it's magic. Also, in the story, since the ponies went to the world, it connected the two worlds and made the times the same. Hope this helped!
Excellente!
(No, I ain't mexican, foo'!)
(Nor am I african american, good sir.)
(AND I AIN'T BRITISH!)
Anyways...
The reason someone would dislike this is beyond me...
5105396 ok then why didnt Twilight destroy the book. It doesn't make sense that it would just be sitting there
Nice story.
The pacing could be better, and some things are unexplained.
For example, why wouldn't purple smart just BURN the book?
Second of all, its said that no one knows who wrote the book. It was obviously someone who was there and watching them, therefore it was either her dad, dashie herself, or celestia, because sunbutt is always watching.
Anyway, its a good story, and I like it.
Keep it up!
OUT OF TEN CELESTIAS…
I GIVE YOU 7 CELESTIAS AND A SPIKE
5106014
My Little Dashie hater?
5102718 Ahthe Necronomicon, an excellent source of knowledge kn my opinion. One of my favourite books
5106403 ...Hater...?
...Of MLD...
DID YOU JUST CALL ME A HATER OF THE SADDEST STORY OF MLP EXISTENCE I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I LI-
"Sorry, this is GMD, you just met angry GMD. And no, we are not a hater of the story, matter of fact, we're a huge fan! Why would you ever thi- OH CRAP HE'S BACK!"
BLAH BLAH RAMBLE RAMBLE RAGE
5106414
No, I was giving an answer to the statement above.
I for one found that while the concept of MLD was somewhat depressing, it wasn't enough to tug my heartstrings. As much as I hate mentioning popular stories, I'd have to say that Fallout: Equestria was far sadder/funnier/exciting, but that was a MUCH larger story than MLD.
On another note, I believe that I have been seeing much more of you recently, even outside of our little conversations. Seems we have similar tastes in literature.
5106520 Indeed, in every story I've went to, I see you in the comment section. (Alongside The Slending Angel.)
5106524
Yu seem to like commenting on me as well. Brings bake memories.... and sometimes confusion.
5106597
" Ain't I a stinker?"
~Bugs GMD
5106600 Aw. You deleted the comment of me.
I FELT SO LOVED
5107028 TRELELELLEELLELLElleleleee...eh... I'm doing it wrong, ain't I...?
5107123 There there, whose a good GMC?
5107315 Ummm... you? Cause I'm a good GMD, you're a good GMC. (GM Cheesy)
FINISH THE STORY!!!
That is... If you want to
Judging by the description itself, this story is just littered in typos. My assumptions were proven correct upon moving onward.
It was an ok story buuuut......proof reading and grammar checks are greatly needed here
Well, it's a bit rushed, if I can say so. Some of the characters are a bit OOC. Also, the ending just feels awkward, as if it's unfinished. But still, it's not bad.
interesting.... could improve with grammar but i shall track this!
5108668 It is unfinished
5108984 Yes, but it seems like you left out a bit. The chapter ends too abruptly is what I'm getting at.
5111789 Yeah, I guess it is. Thanks for your opinion. :)
Im just pasting this to check my icon
cant wait to read the story im intrigued.