• Published 7th Oct 2014
  • 2,662 Views, 149 Comments

Of Wubs and Men - MoltenXKid



My music career is falling. My house is trashed. I'm slowly becoming addicted to a cartoon pony show. And to top it all off, I ordered Vinyl Scratch off the internet from Vogon Biotech.

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Monday's Mishaps

I was asleep in my bed, waiting for my daily alarm to go off. Within my sleeping motions, I rolled over, wrapped my arms around something warm, furry, and soft; and snuggled into it. I happily sighed and went back to sleep. The breathing motions of whatever I hugged were calming. I was becoming one with the warmth beside me. There was only one problem though-I sleep alone.

My eyes flew opened only to be filled with gray fur. Instantly, I knew who was in my bed. Sorta just needed to know why.

“Octavia…why are you in my bed?” I asked out loud, yet received no answer. Shaking her received only a grunt and biting her received a moan…I regretted biting her. I resorted back to shaking until she awoke.

“Is there a reason why you woke me up?” she asked with a yawn, “I was having a good dream.”

“Yeah, why are you in my bed?” I asked again.

“The bed in Vinyl’s room is too small for the both of us, so I opted to sleep in here.”

“Okay…”

It was sort of weird that she had gotten comfortable enough with me to just hop in the bed, but I’m no stranger to waking up with people in my bed. (One would think Vinyl would jump in before Octavia did.) With a sigh, I readjusted my arms around her, snuggled in deeper, and went back to sleep.

“Uh…what are you doing?” she asked.

“You’re soft and warm,” I replied as I squeezed, “Also, this is strictly platonic, so no ideas, Octavia.”

“With you? Ha! Don’t make me laugh.” She shoved her thigh into my crotch, “Well…maybe. Depends on what Vinyl thinks.”

“Invasion of privacy, much?”

She rolled out of my bed and into the cold of the morning air. To my…Not to my surprise, she was naked. I adverted my eyes to give her some privacy. I didn’t know what she was about to do; it was still early in the morning-11 a.m. Maybe she was going to cook some breakfast. (I hoped she did.) She actually just told me to wake up. I replied by yawning and replacing her with a pillow.

She shook her head, walked to the bed, grabbed my leg, and pulled me out. The cold air hit like a kick from Bruce Lee. I cringed on the ground in over exaggerated agony until Octavia picked me up, and slunge me over her shoulder. What was happening, I didn’t know.

“Please tell me you’re not going through heat…” I worriedly said from her shoulders.

“No. Vinyl handled that already.”

“Ew…pony sex.”

“Ew…human sex.”

“Touché. So where are we going?”

“To the basement to practice our instruments.”

“Ugh…put me down…”I began to struggle within her grasp, but no matter what, she wouldn’t let go, “Why are you so strong?!”

“Natural Earth Pony strength. For you information: I’m not letting go.”

“Well, could you at least put on some clothes?”

“No. Those clothes are a hindrance. I just wear them not to cause a disruption in your society, but I’m home, so it doesn’t matter if I wear clothes or not. Your second brain doesn’t seem to mind.”

“It’s early in the morning…that’s it.”

She opened the door to the basement, gracefully walked down the steps, and lowered me into a chair. She then got another chair and sat right across from me-in her full glory. She looked me in the eyes as she slid my trumpet case over. She then located her Cello case, opened it, and got ready to play. Luckily, the instrument hid her more private parts. (Maybe unfortunately.)

She reached back into her case and passed me a piece of sheet music. From the little music I could understand, the sheet seemed out my league; I could probably muddle through it. She looked at her music and began tapping her hoof in a 4/4 beat. I opened my case, put my mouthpiece in my trumpet and got ready to play.

“Vinyl told me you played a little,” Octavia said before playing, “I’d thought we practice together.”

She counted us in; we started to play. Needless to say, she was perfect. Never missed a note, stayed on rhythm, and hit the pitch perfectly. I, on the other hand, was mediocre. Missed a lot of notes, got lost in the music, messed up the rhythm, and didn’t exactly hit every pitch.

About halfway through the song, I gave up. Though, Octavia didn’t notice. She kept playing, inside some sort of trance. I didn’t bother, but did slowly get up from my chair and walk to my sound table. I waited for her to stop playing and; when she did I played an applause track. She smiled within her trance before abruptly snapping out of it.

“Excuse me, Mason. I seemed to have gotten entranced in the song,” She apologized.

“It’s no problem, pony,” I said, “Music has that power.”

“Yes it does…”

“Seems like you’re used to the stage light.”

“Of course! All my life I knew I was a pony that everyone should know. As soon as I got my cutie mark, I practiced and practiced until I got a big audition. I got the job and left for Canterlot. My fame grew and so did my hunger for more. Then I began to realize something. Mason, I realized that I didn’t truly want fame…no…I didn’t want what came with the fame. I received no privacy…I had to constantly work to keep my name recent and fresh.”

“So fame wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, huh?”

“No it wasn’t. That’s why I’m happy the incident happened.”

“What incident?”

“Nothing…nothing. I’ll tell you another time.”

She smiled, remembering the past. Though, she shook the memory from her mind and rose up from the chair. She put her cello back in its case and walked towards the exit. She walked up the stairs, her hips swaying and her breast bouncing, free from any clothes.

“Oh, and two things, Mr. Williams. Number one: As perfect as my hind quarters are, you must stop looking…so much.”

“Sorry…”

“Ah, so you were looking. Good to know.” She shook her head while smiling, “And number two: I have a job interview today.”

“You have been here for two days...how the hell did you get an interview so fast?”

She raised her phone from her cello case and spoke, “The power of technology.”


I waited in the living for Ocatvia to put on some clothes, so we can leave to her interview. I noticed Vinyl lay unconscious on the couch, a beer tightly clenched in her hand. She snored loudly, yet still looked peaceful. Though, even with her fur, she seemed to be cold; I walked over to the nearest closet, grabbed a blanket, and put it over her(while taking the can of beer and finishing the rest. ) She snuggled deep into the warmth of the blanket before drifting off into drunken slumber.

“She can hold her liquor; she just takes a long time to get it out her system.” I heard Octavia say from behind me.

“That…and the fact she drunk all my beers…”

“That too…”

We both headed towards the car. I put her cello case in the trunk as she got in. Once I walked around and got into the driver’s seat, Octavia told me the address of the place. I put it in the GPS, and we were off. While we were driving, I noticed Octavia seemed somewhat nervous. She fumbled with her hands or shifted in her seat for no apparent reason. To soothe her, I tuned the radio to something she’d enjoy-classical music. It seemed to do the trick…well until she began to evaluate the music.

“Violins are playing ahead of tempo…trombones aren’t hitting the right pitch…is the director deaf? How can he listen to this train wreck?”

Thank you for listening to L.A’s Fountain Elementary Children’s Symphony on L.A's classical station-98.7

“I bet you feel bad for talking bad about little kid’s music.”

“Not at all. Maybe a bit judgmental but still…they were playing it wrong.”

“Why don’t you go teach them how to play it, master?”

“Why do you think I’m going to this interview?”

“Wait, what?”

“This interview is for the job of director for that Orchestra. The old one is retiring, so I thought to take his position.”

I pulled the car into some school, where the GPS had led me. The pony thanked me for the ride, grabbed her instrument, and hurried off to her interview, leaving me to my own devices. With nothing else to do but wait, I decided to nap. It was still early in the morning, and a growing man like me needed some sleep. Sadly, the universe doesn’t work in my favor.

As I closed my eyes to sleep, a vibration in my pocket startled me. I wanted to ignore it. I really did, but I knew I had to answer it. I reached for my phone to see my producer was calling. With a somewhat annoyed sigh, I answered.

“Mason…please tell me you got a date for that thing you’re doing with that pony,” He said. Even over the phone I could tell he was slightly intoxicated.

“It’s this Saturday…but let’s not make this a big thing.”

“Are you fucking crazy, kid?!” He burped though the phone, “This is the comeback you need…the comeback you want!”

“I know, I know, I’m really digging this quiet life. Look, we can set up some live stream cameras, but other than that, I want this event to stay small and local.”

“Okay, kid. Yer killing me here, but okay. You know, I’m starting to think those ponies are getting to ya. Anyway, I have to get back to my mid-morning drinks. That’s the only thing keeping me from not killing myself from the new music coming in town.”

“And what about my love for you?”

“It’s sweet, and you have a nice ass, but it’s not enough to keep me from tying the rope. Cya, kid.”

“Cya.”

With nothing else to bother me, I leaned the chair back and went to sleep.


Later, I awoke to the sound of classical music playing around me. With a yawn I woke up and looked around me. All seemed normal, and Octavia was in the passenger’s seat. She seemed to be waiting patiently for me to awake and gave me a nice smile when I did.

“Look who’s finally awake,” She stated.

“How long have I been out?” I said.

“About…an hour and thirty minutes.”

“You could have woken me up?”

“I could have…or could have just let you sleep.”

“True…but-“

In the next instant there was a tap on my window. To my dismay, the tap came from my parole officer; the same one who visited my house just a few days earlier. She wore the annoyed expression with slightly disappointed elements. In the situation, I could only awkwardly smile and roll down the window.

“Mr. Wiiliams…I see you’re having a good time outside your home.”

“Well, officer…”

“Breaking the rules of your house arrest…not a serious charge but it comes with a hefty fine…and more house arrest.”

“Well…”

“And pony…how could you help him get away with it?” said the Officer in a patronizing tone.

Octavia held her head down in shame, yet a sly smile itched at the corners of her mouth.

“Comeon, officer. I was just helping her with a job interview…”

“Sorry…you broke the law, Mr. Williams.”

The gears in my brain began to turn as I thought of a way to weasel my way out of the situation. My record was already spotty, and I didn’t need anything else on it.

“Look, what if I…played at your next event for half-price?” I felt Octavia nudge me from the side, “NO! For free!”

Octavia nudged me again, this time harder than before. I think she may have been worried about bribery or something, but she didn’t need to worry. I had this parole officer multiple time in the past. She plays along nicely.

“Bribery, Mr. Williams. How unbecoming…” The Officer wrote out the citation and handed it to be, yet before I could take it, she snatch it away,

“Well, there is one thing you can do…”

“Anything…”

“I have a nephew whose birthday is coming up tomorrow. Unfortunately, my schedule is too busy, and I can’t make it. Lucky for you, he’s a fan of the wubstep.”

“Actually it’s Dub-“

Octavia nudged me again; I took the hint to shut up.

“If you could make it to his party, and play…for free, this citation may just find its way in a shredder.”

“It’s a deal. Where’s the party?”

“Oklahoma City.”

“That’s so far…”

“Not my problem, Mr. Helix.”

With that, the officer walked away. She climbed in her cruiser, and pulled off. I chuckled a bit as I laid my head on the steering wheel. Octavia gently put her hand on my back and rubbed in small circles. It was calming, I must say, but my situation was dire. More or less.

“So…how did the interview go?” I asked, my head still on steering wheel.

“I got the job,” Octavia said elated, “I start in a year…”

“A year?”

“The old director still has a year left on his contract. After that, he’ll retire and I’ll take his place.”

“Till then you could do some gigs at local clubs. Though, you probably have to go more jazzy than classical.”

“I’d rather just practice and mooch off you for the next year.”

“And here I thought you were the dignified one of the two ponies in my life.”

“Looks can be deceiving, Mason.”

“Well, Octavia, I’ll make sure not to judge a book by its pompous cover.”

“Nor I by its unkempt, unshaven, bachelor, in-need-of-a-wife cover. Oh, and you know you don’t have to call me by my full name. ‘Octy’ will do.”

“Alright, ‘Octy’. I’ll remember that.”

“You better…” She paused from speaking, trying to gather her thoughts, “Sorry about you getting caught.”

“That was no problem. It was bound to happen eventually. Honestly, being caught is the least of my worries.”

“So what’s your main one?”

“How the hell am I going to get to Oklahoma City by tomorrow?”

Author's Note:

Guess who's coming to dinner?