When her friends leaves her, Rainbowdash meets a unnaturally intelligent humane in a world where humans are still primitive. you play as Rainbowdash and decide what she does on her adventures with Skyler and the interdenomsional Door!
(new) the keeper is now dead
>Comment driven story with only this comment
Well, that didn't work out.
So... it's a door that serves people of multiple religious traditions, then?
First off, don't do your scenes like this, ever. This isn't a script, this is a story.
Second, a possessive requires an apostrophe.
Was it a dedicated ally, someone he had a mutual-defense treaty with? Or was it just a trade-pact kind of ally?
This is a proper name and should be capitalized.
"Rainbow Dash" is two words and "Applejack" is one. You went in exactly the wrong direction on two different names.
Nice jump from first-person narration to second-person there. Do you even read your own stuff before you post it?
This is what's known as being "out of character", or "OOC" for short.
Well, of course she says it like that. I mean, if she said it with a political bias, it would be more like "Please leave, and lower taxes when you go."
...and now we're back to first-person. Good job.
You're kidding, right? "But" is a conjunction; "butt" is another way of referring to your ass.
The word you want is "coordinates". As in... you know what? Forget it...
The word you want is a contraction for "is not" and is written "isn't".
peasant - A member of the lowly social class which toils on the land.
pheasant - A bird of family Phasianidae, often hunted for food.
That's it; I give up.
5088585 sorry, its supposed to be interdiminsonal. my computer has insta spell check. also i used to have editors to check this stuff for me, but none of them ever sent me a fixed chapter so i stopped looking for editors.
Did... did you just link us to an image locally stored on your computer? You need to upload it to a site like Imgur first, dear.
Crack his neck. Check his pockets.
5089612 uhhhh, can i have your reason for a 14 year old child death?
5091324
It sounds like the most reasonable option at this current juncture.
5092298 sense you were the only one to comment a story idea, skyler dies.
Visit the mine and clear out the marauders. Once done, seek a necromancer and try again.
5101031 a necromancer to revive whom?
5105483 Skyler.