Chapter 3: Hello Teacher Tell Me, What's My Lesson?
Pinkie and Sonata’s Excellent Adventure
Chapter 3: Hello Teacher Tell Me, What's My Lesson?
-ooooooo-
“Mrs. Cheery?”
Ms. Cheerilee groaned quietly to herself and plastered on a fake smile as she turned from the chalk board. She turned and stared at Sonata as her face twitched slightly, her frustration continuing to eat away at her fake enthusiasm. “It’s Miss Cheerilee, and what is it?”
Sonata slowly lowered her hand. “If the Nazis where such a big threat, why didn’t the Mega Rangers take them out?”
A few errant chuckles and laughs escaped the other students.
Pinkie gasped. “I love the Mega Rangers!”
Cheerilee pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out a slow, continuous sigh. “Pinkie, for the last time, if your guest can’t behave herself, I’m going to have to ask her to leave! She’s not even enrolled in this class!”
Pinkie’s eyes widened and she puffed out her lower lip. “But she’s got nowhere else to go!”
Sonata nodded as she shot Cheerilee a pleading look. “It’s true! My friends beat me up and abandoned me!”
The males of the class uttered a few sympathetic sounding “Awwww”s.
Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “They did! They totally did! I saw the whole thing! You wouldn’t want Sonata to die of exposure, would you?!”
Cheerilee folded her arms across her chest. “It’s bright, warm, and sunny outside! And besides, she could still stay in the school if she wanted!”
“But… but… I want to learn!” Sonata cried.
Pinkie motioned to Sonata as she puffed out her lip even further. “Don’t kick her out, Ms. Cheerilee! She just wants a second chance!”
Cheerilee fought the urge to scowl. Many of the students seemed oddly sympathetic towards Sonata despite the fact she had participated in mind-controlling them very recently.
“Mrs. Charlee?”
“Ms. Cheerilee, and what is it?!”
“Is it snack time yet?”
“THERE’S NO SNACK TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL CLASSES!”
Sonata frowned heavily. “Well that’s just lame.”
“I know, right?!” Pinkie cried. “What if we can’t learn good because we’re distracted with hunger?!”
The other students murmured in agreement.
“I DON’T MAKE THE RULES REGARDING SNACKS IN CLASS!” Cheerilee snapped. “Now can I please continue my lesson on World War II?!”
Sonata raised her hand.
Cheerilee sighed. “Yes, Sonata… What is it?”
“How many world wars have there been?”
“TWO!” Cheerilee cried. “How can you not know that?!”
“I’m trying to learn!” Sonata cried. “I thought that’s how you learned stuff, by asking questions!”
“It is!” Pinkie cried. “It’s totally how you learn stuff!”
Cheerilee let out a defeated sounded sigh. “Alright… fine… Just… just let me try to continue this lesson on the Nazi expansion…”
“She’ll be good!” Pinkie insisted. She turned towards Sonata. “Won’t you Sonata?”
“I’ll certainly try my best!” Sonata answered cheerfully.
“And that’s all anyone could ask for!” Pinkie replied.
Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Oh, I can think of a few more things…” she uttered to herself. She turned back to her blackboard and began writing on it. “Now, can anyone guess as to why the Nazis needed to expand their territory as part of the war effort, whereas the Allies did not?”
“Miss Cheerilee?”
Cheerilee fought the urge to turn and angrily scowl at Sonata, taking some solace in the fact that the girl finally got her name right. “Yes, Sonata?” she replied without turning. “What is it?”
“‘Miss’ means you’re not married right?”
“Erm… That’s correct.”
“Are you not married because you’re boring?”
Cheerilee turned around without plastering on a fake smile this time. She shot Sonata a hate-filled gaze as she bit into her lower lip hard. The other students either giggled nervously or scooted their desks a few inches away from Sonata depending on their proximity to her. Even Pinkie’s normally happy face had turned to worry as she stared up at Cheerilee.
Cheerilee breathed in and out deeply as her eye twitched. “Report… due… tomorrow!” Cheerilee exclaimed through clenched teeth.
The groans from the class were almost deafening.
Cheerilee fixed her students with a glare. “Oh don’t give me that! You’ve all had ample time to prepare.”
“I haven’t!” Sonata cried.
“YOU’RE NOT A STUDENT OF MY CLASS!” Cheerilee cried.
Pinkie’s hand shot up. “What is she helps me with my report?”
“Yeah!” Sonata said excitedly. “Can I, can I?” Sonata opened her eyes as wide as she could and cupped her arms under her chin. “Puleeeaseeee?”
Cheerilee thought about this briefly. Well… I’d say that’s unfair to the other students… But I’ve barely met the girl and already I can tell her ‘helping’ Pinkie will be a huge disadvantage… Cheerilee suddenly smiled wickedly to herself. And when Pinkie flunks her report I can at least say that Sonata is a horrible influence on her and get her to stay out of my class…
“Well… Normally I’d have to say ‘no’, but in your case I’ll make an exception.”
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged happy glances and cried “Yay!” as they threw their arms up in the air triumphantly.
“Does it have to be this world?” Sonata asked.
“… What?” Cheerilee asked as she tried to process the bizarreness of the question.
“I mean… Could Pinkie and I do a report on my world?”
Cheerilee paused and thought about it. Well… That could be interesting… Of course, I’d have no way to verify if anything they wrote is true or not…
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” Cheerilee said tentatively. “I mean… this is world history as in this world, and—”
Pinkie gasped. “But that’s discrimination against a planet! Planetism!”
Cheerilee tried to protest. “But…”
Sonata gasped. “Maybe speciesist even!”
Pinkie turned to Ms. Cheerilee. “Ms. Cheerilee, are you speciesist against horse people?” Pinkie asked.
“I… WHAT?!” Cheerilee replied. “NO! I didn’t even know they existed until earlier this year!”
“What about fish-horse people?” Sonata asked.
“I…” Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “You’re like a seahorse, then?”
Sonata inhaled a massive amount of air before she brought her hands up to her mouth. Her eyelids began to quiver as tears start to trickle down her eyes. “You… think… you think I’m a seahorse?!”
“Uh… I mean…er… it seemed like the closest comparison…”
“Sniff… choke… I knew it! I knew you hated me because you’re specie-sob-speciesist…”
“No! I’m not—”
Pinkie patted Sonata on the shoulder. “There, there, Sonata… I’m sure Ms. Cheerilee didn’t mean—”
Sonata broke into tears. “WHOOUAAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAA! IT’S TRUE! I’M JUST A USELESS, DUMB OL’ SEAHORSE AND THAT’S ALL I’LL EVER BE! I’M GARBAGE! I CAN JUST GO DIE! WHOOUAAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAA! ”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip as her eyes watered up, she turned and stared at Cheerilee with the grand-high empress of all puppy-dog expressions.
Cheerilee felt her face go hot as she desperately tried to figure out a solution to the problem in front of her. She did a quick check of the students and noticed a fair amount were glaring at her if she had just kicked a puppy while laughing maniacally about it.
“Okay! You can do a report on your world!” Cheerilee said. “Just stop crying!”
Sonata immediately stopped crying as if a switch marked ‘sob hysterically’ had just been switched off. “For realzies?! And when Pinkie and I do a good job you’ll let me stay in the class?”
“Fine, just… Wait, what?”
‘Riiiiiiiiiiiing~!’
The students suddenly got up out of their chairs and started filing for the exit.
“Thanks Ms. Cheerilee!” Pinkie cried as she quickly ran up and hugged Cheerilee. “You’re the best!”
“Yeah!” Sonata cried as she too ran up and hugged Cheerilee. “Thanks Ms. Chimichanga!”
Ms. Cheerilee tried to protest the current events, but she found speaking difficult as Sonata practically crushed her torso as she squeezed with all her might.
“Come on, Sonata!” Pinkie said as she let go of Cheerilee. “We have a report to work on, then you get to stay in class with me forever!”
Sonata let go of Cheerilee and followed Pinkie. “Hurray! Then I can ask all the questions I want!”
Pinkie and Sonata happily bounded for the exit of the class.
“No… Wait…” Ms. Cheerilee pleaded in hoarse voice as oxygen finally entered her lungs.
‘SLAM!’
Ms. Cheerilee stared at the door to her classroom. “What just…. What just happened?”
-o-
“Isn’t it great, Sonata?” Pinkie said as she and Sonata excitedly walked down the hallway. “You get to tell me all about your world and then we get to do a report about it!”
“I know, right?”
“Hey… uh… I’m really sorry about what happened in there.”
“Oh, the no snacks thing?” Sonata asked. “Yeah! What’s even up with that?”
“No! Not that!” Pinkie cried. “You know…” Pinkie said. She leaned in close to Sonata and cupped a hand around her mouth. “When she used the S-H word,” she whispered.
“… Ms. Cheerilee swore?” Sonata said as she stared off into space. “I didn’t notice…”
“Yeah! You know… the… er… fish… er pony… thing…” Pinkie said sheepishly.
Sonata paused for a moment. “Oh right, that!”
“I felt really bad for you!” Pinkie said. “I mean… that must have really hurt even if Ms. Cheerilee probably didn’t mean anything. She’s usually really nice.”
“Uh… Yeah…I was totes insulted back there…. And junk… but erm… we should talk about other things. Like where to get snacks.”
Pinkie grinned. “I’ll get us something out of the vending machines!” she declared. “Wait here, okay!”
“Yay!” Sonata said. She giggled to herself as she watched Pinkie bound off down the hall. “Hehehe… Seahorse… I can’t believe they all bought that…”
-ooo-
“So… Sunset Shimmer…”
“Trying to take notes here, Adagio…” Sunset said in an irritated tone as she continued to scrawl down notes. She sat in the back of the class flanked on either side by Adagio and Aria. Aria seemed the very picture of boredom, shifting constantly in her desk almost as if the thing wasn’t even made for a human to sit in. Adagio seemed a tad more focused, but on Sunset and the other students as opposed to the lesson being taught.
At the front of the class, a man with black hair that was set oddly on top of his head as if it didn’t belong lectured on about chemistry. He wore a brown sweater over a white shirt and tie. Red pants hung somewhat loosely around his legs. He’d occasionally shot an irritated glance off towards the back of the room as he continued his lesson.
Adagio sighed at Sunset. “You’re no fun…”
Aria chimed in. “This whole stupid school thing is no fun!”
Sunset rolled her eyes as she continued to write on the paper in front of her. “Yeah, well you two aren’t making it any easier…”
“Look,” Adagio said, “I just wanted to have a nice, innocent conversation about which students in this class you’d do and how you’d do them.”
Sunset’s face turned bright red and she stopped writing. “Wha… what?”
A sizeable portion of the students around the trio of girls immediately stopped paying attention to the lesson and perked their ears up towards Adagio.
Aria rolled her eyes. “Oh, here we go…”
Adagio pointed out into the class. “That guy with the curly blue hair and tornado on his shirt? I’d get him hyped up on caffeine and then we’d just go at it as weasels.”
“… Not having this conversation,” Sunset said as she raised the fingertips of her free hand to her forehead and clenched her teeth together.
Aria sighed and rested her cheek against her palm. “Doesn’t matter, Adagio’s going to have it anyway.”
Adagio continued, pointing off to another student. “The guy with the green hair and the dreads? He kind of strikes me as the guy who likes to lay back and let the other person do all the work. I’d sit on top of him and ride him until he couldn’t tell up from down. Though… that might not be very long by the looks of him.”
“Still not having this conversation…” Sunset said.
By now almost all the students were listening to Adagio.
Adagio pointed again. “That girl with the long black hair, purple vest, and purple socks? I remember her playing the double bass during the battle of the bands… I bet she has great finger work.”
An excited girl’s voice suddenly rang out from the class. “YEAH! GO TAVI!”
“BE QUIET, VINYL!”
“MS. SHIMMER!” the teacher cried in an angry, harsh tone. “Why did you bring those two trouble makers into my classroom?! They’re not even enrolled!”
Sunset sighed as she looked up from her notes. “They’re not enrolled in any classes, Mr. Donkey, and I’m stuck with them. Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna said I had to make sure they don’t get arrested or anything since they’re technically students, but don’t have guardians… Like me.”
Mr. Donkey glared angrily at Sunset. “I don’t care what your situation is, there is no way—”
Sunset balled her hand and brought it up to her mouth. “Cough—N-methyl-alpha-methylphenethylamine—cough.”
Mr. Donkey’s face turned white as a sheet that had been soaked in bleach for several hours. “—no way I’m allowing two promising minds to go without learning such important information like how many phenyl rings are in triphenylmethanol.”
Sunset smiled and nodded satisfactorily.
His face still white, Mr. Donkey turned and continued his lecture.
Adagio raised an eyebrow at Sunset. “What the heck was that all about?”
Aria looked at Sunset in awe. “Yeah! Was that some sort of magic word to get the teacher to do whatever you say?”
Sunset chuckled. “In a manner of speaking. I told you I used to rule this school. Pretty easy when you know everyone’s dirty secrets.”
“Alright,” Adagio replied, “but what was his secret? I don’t even know what N-methal…alpha… whatever is!”
Sunset shook her head. “Now if I told you, then you might just go blow the secret, then what would I do to get Mr. Donkey to do what I want?”
“At least give us the gist of it,” Aria said. “There’s got to be a story here or something…”
“Let’s just say Mr. Donkey once earned a ton of money for his family through… less than legal means when doctors told him he had incurable cancer.”
Adagio and Aria glanced back up at Mr. Donkey as he continued to rattle on about hydroxyl group bounds. They turned back to Sunset.
“Wait… so… he’s dying?” Aria asked.
Sunset shook his head. “No… turns out what the doctors thought was cancer was just his excess crankiness that had formed some sort of growth.”
“I heard that, Miss Shimmer!” Mr. Donkey said indignantly.
Sunset flashed Mr. Donkey a dazzling ‘What are you going to do about it?’ smile. “Oh, I know.”
-oooooo-
Sunset trudged up towards the massive white horse statue in front of Canterlot High, an orange backpack slung over her shoulder and Adagio and Aria behind her. Students milled about, but almost all in a direction heading away from the school. The ones in danger of getting close to Adagio and Aria would suddenly shift direction to make sure they didn’t cross paths.
As she neared the statue she noticed a familiar cowboy hat sitting on top of a familiar blond girl.
Applejack waved as Sunset approached.
Sunset gave Applejack a small smile and waved back, noting with some extra degree of relief that both Rarity and Fluttershy were also waiting. Though both looked significantly more reluctant to be there than Applejack. Sunset smiled to herself all the same, happy for the extra help.
As Sunset, Adagio, and Aria approached the statue, Adagio and Aria flashed the other girls angry glares, causing Fluttershy to seek shelter behind Rarity. She peeked out from behind Rarity’s hair at the girls with a frightful look.
“Hello Sunset, darling,” Rarity greeted with a sheepish smile as she cast a wary glance at Adagio and Aria. “Applejack told us of your…erm… predicament as it were… and Fluttershy and I wanted to say we’re here to support you… Just so long as we don’t have to touch or talk to those horrible girls.”
Aria glared at Rarity. “The feeling is mutual, prissy!”
Rarity uttered an “Hmph!” and turned her nose up at Aria.
Adagio tilted her head slightly to get a better look at Fluttershy. “Are you sure you won’t be touching us? I wouldn’t mind getting felt up by the shy girl back there.”
Fluttershy uttered a startled squeak before she disappeared almost completely behind Rarity. Only her fingers remained visible, grasping onto Rarity’s shoulders.
“That’s fine!” Sunset said. “You don’t have to touch or talk to them! Just please help me keep them out of too much trouble.”
Applejack shook her head. “Easier said than done.”
“Look! I know this is a pain,” Sunset said, “but just bear with me and I’m sure we can get Twilight to take them off our hands and into her hooves.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Right, Applejack told me about your plan… Are you sure she’ll jump right to helping you? I mean you did draw…”
“I KNOW!” Sunset cried. “Look, I have to try…”
Fluttershy poked her head out from behind Rarity. “Maybe you should apologi—”
“Just let me try asking first, alright?!” Sunset snapped.
Fluttershy let out another startled squeak and hid behind Rarity once more.
Sunset sighed. “Sorry, Fluttershy… I’m just a bit on edge because of these two.”
Adagio raised an eyebrow. “What exactly did you send to—”
“Hey dorks!”
The girls turned as Rainbow Dash approached.
“What’s…” Rainbow Dash caught a glimpse of Adagio and Aria. Her smile and her body immediately turned a 180 and she began running. “Nope!”
Sunset narrowed her eyes as she stared at Rainbow Dash. “Applejack, I will give you five dollars to bring Rainbow Dash back here.”
“Hot-diggity-dog!” Applejack said as she ran off after Rainbow Dash. “I’m gonna get my lassoing rope and hogtie her! YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!”
“Whatever!” Sunset shouted after her. “Just get her back!”
Adagio smirked. “Rope, huh? Guess your friends like some kinky stuff, too.”
Aria burst out laughing as Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s cheeks turned slightly red. Fluttershy turned and put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle a giggle.
“Look, just shut up!” Sunset cried. “It’s bad enough I have to keep an eye on you two! I don’t need to listen to all your weird innuendos as well! Now if you two can just stop annoying me long enough to write a letter to Princess Twilight, maybe you can go back to Equestria and I can get you out of my hair and everyone will be happy!”
“Alright, alright,” Adagio said as she waved hand about dismissively. “Don’t let us stop you.”
“I won’t,” Sunset said. She pointed off towards the school. “Now go back inside and wait.”
“What?” Adagio said.
“What the heck?!” Aria cried.
“You two know too much about how this all works already!” Sunset cried. “I don’t want you to actually see the magic in action! Who knows what you’d try to do!”
Adagio motioned to herself. “Why Sunset Shimmer, I’m hurt! Whatever did we do to make you think you couldn’t trust us?”
Sunset simply fixed Adagio with a scowl.
Adagio sighed and held up her hands. “Alright, you can’t and shouldn’t trust us. Fine, we’ll just go wait in the school. But where’s that excessively bubbly pink-haired friend of yours? I believe she still has our idiot.”
“Hey!” Aria protested. “That was my line and you stole it!”
Adagio started speaking in her mocking nasally tone, “My name is Aria and I think I’m soooo clever just because I spend all my time picking on a girl who doesn’t know her left from her down as a way to mask my hidden feelings for her!”
“Daaagiiii…” Aria growled out in a warning tone as she balled her hands up into fists.
“Knock it off, you two!” Sunset cried. “You both already beat the snot out of each other today, and I don’t want to have to explain why you took another trip to Nurse Redheart’s to the Principals.” Sunset turned towards her friends. “Has anyone seen Pinkie?”
Fluttershy’s mousy voice came out from behind Rarity. “She said something about doing a history report with Sonata…”
“History report?” Sunset replied as her eyes widened in surprise. “Well… I guess Sonata’s probably been around for a while… but I have trouble believing she’s retained much information.”
Aria shook her head. “Sonata doesn’t even remember what month it is most the time, let alone current events. The only reason she tracks each day is so she knows how far or near the next Taco Tuesday is…”
“Well… whatever…” Sunset said dismissively. “I’m sure they can’t get into too much trouble working on a report.”
Rarity glanced up off into the distance. “Uh… Sunset Shimmer, dear? Applejack is coming back… with erm… Rainbow Dash in tow…”
The other girls looked up. Adagio and Aria immediately began sniggering to themselves as Sunset raised a palm to her face. “Oh Lord…”
“BOY-HOWDY!” Applejack shouted as she walked up, dragging Rainbow Dash behind her by a rope tied around Rainbow’s wrists and ankles. “She sure put up a fight, but I got her in the end.”
Sunset sighed as she reached into her jacket, pulled out a five dollar bill, and handed it to Applejack.
Rainbow Dash looked up slightly to glare at Sunset past her tied up limbs as Applejack dragged her on her side. “What the heck!” she Dash cried. “Why’d you pay Applejack to tie me up?! Is this some weird bondage thing? ‘Cause you know—”
“Rainbow Dash, shut up!” Sunset demanded.
Adagio and Aria started laughing.
Sunset turned and glared at them. “Not one word you two!” Sunset turned back to Rainbow Dash. “Look, you’re my friend, right?”
Rainbow Dash sighed and stared up at the sky. “Yeeeeaaah…” she said begrudgingly.
“And friends help each other, right?”
Rainbow Dash gave a heavier sigh and an even more begrudging and drawn out “Yeeeeaaaah…”
“So just help me keep an eye on these two! All you have to do is keep them from getting arrested… or doing anything that might get you arrested with them…”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “So no beating them up?”
“Hey!” Aria snapped. She slammed her right fist into her left palm. “You ever want to have a go, just let me know.”
“Me too,” Adagio said. “That sounds like it’d be fun to watch… Like watching a T.V. test pattern get it on with a grapesicle.”
Sunset groaned.
Rarity’s face turned red.
Applejack tilted her hat downwards over her face.
Rainbow Dash looked up in befuddlement.
Fluttershy giggled.
Aria shot an irritated glance at Adagio. “Not what I meant by ‘have a go’, Adagio.”
Rainbow Dash looked up at Adagio then to Sunset. “Is she always like this?”
Sunset sighed. “Unfortunately.”
Rainbow Dash paused for a beat. “I like it.”
Adagio smirked as the other girls groaned.
Aria raised a palm to her head. “Oh, please don’t encourage her… She’s bad enough as it is…”
Sunset shook her head. “Whatever… A.J., untie Rainbow Dash.” Sunset turned towards the Dazzlings. “You two go head back to the school… We’ll reach out to Princess Twilight.”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine… keep the details of how you reach out to the princess secret. We just want to go home.” Adagio motioned for Aria to follow her. “Come on, Aria.”
Sunset waited for Adagio and Aria to enter the school before slinging her backpack in front of her. She pulled out a large, hardbound book with her cutie mark on the front of it and opened it. She flipped past a few pages containing illustrations of butts wearing crowns, dresses, or even with horns and wings and found a blank spot. “Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle…”
-ooo-
Across dimensions a similar book with Celestia’s cutie mark on the front glowed red and vibrated.
‘Buzz… Buzz…’
Spike looked up from a comic he was reading as he sat in his small stone chair. The book had simply been left open and face down on the floor. Much as if it had been angrily thrown.
“Hey, Twilight,” Spike said. “Your book is… er… buzzing…”
Twilight sighed as she stared out an open window in the large council room. “Who cares… It’s probably just more butts…”
Spike set down his comic, hopped up out of his chair, and walked over to the book. He picked it up, chortling to himself as he flipped past a few pages of butts, then came to a page where he watched words slowly appear with a sparkling glow. “She’s writing something…” Spike said. “I think Sunset needs your help.”
“Oh?” Twilight said as a mischievous smirk crossed her face. She turned to Spike. “Give it here… and get me some ink, a quill, and an anatomy book.”
-ooo-
“Hey, she’s writing something back…” Sunset said as a purple glow emanated from her book.
“Oh, well that was fast!” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself. “Not as fast as me though!”
The other girls all turned and shot Rainbow Dash a collection of looks ranging from bemused to mildly-annoyed.
“Dash,” Sunset began, “do you need constant validation to keep yourself from having some sort of depression meltdown?”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “Yes.”
Sunset sighed. “Just… go talk to the counselor or something… Twilight is… she’s… she’s…” Sunset stared down at the book for a second, closed her eyes, then let out a sound as if she was sighing and groaning simultaneously.
“What she writin’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
Sunset simply handed the book to Applejack and began to stomp off.
“Whoa, Nelly!” Applejack cried before covering her eyes.
Sunset walked off onto the lawn of Canterlot High as the other girls circled around Applejack.
Rarity’s face changed from white to bright red. “Oh… oh my…”
“Oh wow, it’s so detailed!” Fluttershy said as she peeked over Rarity’s shoulder.
“And it’s so big!” Rarity cried.
Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side as she stared at the page. “How do you think she’d even fit it all inside her?”
“BUCK!” Sunset screamed at the top of her lungs. “BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
Applejack handed the book to Rarity and walked over towards Sunset. “Well, Ah mean… Did you expect her to just help after you’ve been making fun of her ever since you got that magic book?”
“But it’s so laaaaaaame!” Sunset moaned. “And why am I asking her for friendship advice when she spent most her time here avoiding and acting all awkward around me?!”
“Oh, wow!” Fluttershy uttered as she, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash continued to hover around the book. “Now she’s even labeling everything.”
Applejack shrugged. “A fair point, but now you need for help for something important. Maybe you should write an apolo—”
“UHG!” Sunset groaned out.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “I really think you should apo—”
“UHHHHHG!”
“WHAT YOU NEED TA DO IS SWALLOW YER PRIDE AND—”
“I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO!” Sunset shouted back. “I just don’t want to!” she whined.
Applejack folded her arms across her chest. “It’s either you make-up with Twilight, or yer stuck taking care of them three sirens.”
Sunset turned her palms face up and tensed her fingers into claws as she uttered out something incomprehensible. She followed this up by handing her head and letting out a long, drawn out sigh. “I’ll figure out something… Guess I better go tell those two jerkwads that they’re stuck here a little longer…”
Sunset trudged off towards the school, eventually coming upon the white steps the lead up to the main entrance. She walked up and stepped through one of the glass doors, walking into the foyer where Adagio and Aria where waiting.
“So…” Adagio said as she stared at Sunset with a grumpy expression, “… what did the ‘lame and purple’ Princess of Friendsh—”
“SHE DREW A MASSIVE HORSE C@*%!” Sunset snapped angrily.
Adagio paused mid-sentence and turned to Aria. The two girls tried desperately to keep straight faces, but soon their quivering lips opened wide as laughter poured out of them.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” Sunset said. “But while Princess Twilight would rather send me detailed and labeled pictures of pony anatomy then help me, you two are stuck here!”
Adagio and Aria stopped laughing.
“Unacceptable,” Adagio declared.
Aria nodded. “This place is horrible! You’re horrible!”
“Look, I hate you two as well and I’d like nothing more for you to be shipped off to magical horsey land to learn the true meaning of Christmas or Hearths Warming or whatever! But while Ms. Uptight Princess of Friendship is ticked at me you’re stuck here!”
Adagio and Aria exchanged quick, confused glances.
“Why is she mad at you?” Adagio asked.
“Yeah!” Aria exclaimed. “We thought you two were like… magic rainbow friendship bosom buddies or something…”
Sunset sighed. “Look, mistakes were made, butts were drawn… Can we move on?”
Adagio and Aria exchanged confused glances then looked back at Sunset. “Wait, what?”
Sunset glanced to her side as she crunched her lips up to one side of her mouth. “I may have found the exercise of writing to Twilight for friendship advice from my magic book incredibly pointless so drew a whole bunch of butts instead…”
“Wait…” Adagio said. “You used your magical two-way interdimensional communication book… to draw butts.”
“I said ‘may’. Can we please change the—”
“Wow, Sunset.” Aria said with a surprised look. “You’re a lot cooler than I thought!”
“…Really?” Sunset said as a small smile crossed her face.
Adagio nodded. “I know, right?! She’s so perky and happy-looking when she’s not being annoyed! Who’d have thought she had the guts to prank that purple pony princess.”
Sunset grinned. “Well… You may have noticed I kind of had to bail everyone out from your little attempt to take over the school.”
“Little?!” Adagio and Aria cried.
Sunset continued, “So writing to her for advice always rubbed me the wrong way… Anyway, I’ll smooth things over with Twilight.” She gave Adagio and Aria a stern look. “But you two need to keep out of trouble!”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Sunset, we’re not a couple of preschoolers who need constant supervision! We’re both perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see who's still around that will pay me for the privilege of touching my hot body.” She began to walk off into the school.
One of Sunset’s eyes twitched.
Aria spoke up. “And I’m going to kick things that annoy me… a.k.a. everything!” She also began to walk off into the school.
Sunset’s other eye twitched. She sighed heavily. “Get back here, you two…”
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Well, it's official: sea creatures make the worst students. Need an example besides Sonata? Easy: Spongebob.
On a related note, that was hilarious! Keep it up!
This is the ambrosia of fics I am following on FIMFiction. Please, moar!
Another chapter that's a hoot and a half to read! I just can't stop smiling at the least when the Dazzlings are speaking or Sunset's being evil like the bad girl we all know and love!
Wow. Just wow.
That Breaking Bad reference
Funny and sad
Pinkie and Sonata were so hilarious together pissing Cheerilee off.
My sides hurt from laughing too hard
This whole chapter was just hysterical.
Can't stop laughing! Great work, and I can't wait for more!
This fic is awesome and buckong hilarious!! Keep it up Man, i'm totally folowing this : D
She hogtied Rainbow. I don't LOL covers it but what the heck: LOL!
a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/1441/89/original.jpg?w=480&h
I've been crying with laughter the whole time I've been reading this! The part with Vinyl and Octavia was great too and the Dazzlings personalitys are hilarious.
I just wonder why Adagio wants all the other students.
I thought she thought everyone here was pathetic.
OUCH!
Crystal blue persuasion, ooh-ooooooh...
With Pinkie Pie's help.
OH MY GOD
Here, have some corrections! You love corrections, right?
Nazis were
Delete 'The' and start the sentence with 'A'.
continuous
things
Nazis
scooted
speciesist
- were
- "a fair amount" and "almost all" are conflicting expressions; pick one or the other.
"hallway" should not be capitalized.
Missing quote mark.
they
Missing period. (Just like Adagio...
)
free hand
continued
double bass
rang out
trudged
girls
- Comma after 'glares'
- Delete 'from'
peeked
Frightful, frightened, or terrified.
"fingers" maybe?
apologi—
each other
tilted
^out
crowns
peeked
'Apology' only has one P.
Missing period. Again, rather like Adagio.
I love how you give characters such cynicism. XD
Highlights:
Classic
my mind went here:
img0.joyreactor.cc/pics/post/full/my-little-pony-%D1%84%D1%8D%D0%BD%D0%B4%D0%BE%D0%BC%D1%8B-mlp-art-baking-bad-800195.jpeg
Also concerning Adagio and Aria: Honestly I thought it'd be best if you two just kissed and got it over with
I love your crazy and twisted mind. It comes up with the best ideas. Adagio is my favorite character.
That whole chapter was funny.
And Aria's kicking thing is a habit and not just a one-off joke, excellent. It's not only a call-back, it's consistent characterization.
You mean, NO?
You mean Adagio?
Overall, this chapter is hilarious!
Keep it up!
5264242
"not any" would also be acceptable.
5263543
5264242
Got these! Thanks you!
She was quiet the whole movie. Let the girl talk.
Loving this story, it's just so silly and random, like Pinkie Pie and Sonata are.
I DEMAND TO SEE MORE OF THIS PIECE OF HEAVENLY SLATE!!!
huh twilight does the same thing i do whenever someone annoys me with stupid pictures
Dis is bootiful.
*cries tears of joy*
Just when I was least expecting a Breaking Bad reference...
I get a horse cock. Awesome!
Also, I'm getting the impression that Sonata might just be the most evil out of all of them, and I'm not entirely sure that the stupid is just an act or not.
This is roll on the floor funny
Lol, Great chapter author!
I wish I attended that school. Me, Pinkie Pie and Sonata would be the perfect trio. We'd be the 3 stooges.
I love that Fluttershy has a filthy sense of humor. I hope Sunset hoses Adagio down or something.
Oh and the SH word? Only Sirens can use it, it's their word!
Welp, now that it was said time for something really bad to happen
Well, pride goeth before a headache. Sorry, Sunset, but part of being one of the good guys is accepting the consequences of your actions and even learning from them.
Cranky as Walter White? Yeah, I can see it. I do like Sunset dusting off her blackmail repository.
And Sonata doing a report on Equestria... oh, that should be very interesting. Technically, Cheerilee does have a means to confirm it, but that would require flipping past the highly detailed anatomy illustration to get to a blank page in the quantum journal.
Looking forward to more.
...
5263521 Hey, she might not find those bald apes attractive, but she has certain needs to fulfill, if you know what I mean
5275919 Yeah, I get it!
... Why, Twilight? Why must you sink to lower than what Sunset's done?
And yep, The Dazzlings are literally too stupid to live, and Pinkie and Sonata plan to head to Equestria, which can only end in tacos. Can't wait for more!
Wow, Adagio seems pretty horny.
... I LOVE IT!
Huh. Guess we don't give her enough credit.
5285237
Serious fan-fiction? That doesn't exist. By nature, it is impossible for fan-fiction to be serious, and any that tries to fails.
I can't. I literally can't. It is no longer possible for me to can. I'm not even able to EVEN anymore!
Reading these chapters after The Dazzlings Are Insane, I have to say, this all kindof sets the scene.
I'd like to think that somewhere out there in the vast and unreachable end of reality my sides still exist somewhere, but in all likelihood this story probably drove them to complete nonexistence a while ago.
Ouch.
MY SIDES!
Oh dear...
Neat.
Best horse.
Wise move.
HEH!
Dark.
Oh my.
Baking Bad, eh.
static.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1234/Deadpool-Thumbs-up_3346593.jpg
That, sir, was spectacular.
This fic is gold!
This fic is beyond awesome. I really had to laugh almost the entire time
He was so cranky he went Breaking Bad. KEKW