• Member Since 14th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Chris


Author, Royal Canterlot Library curator, and the reviewer at One Man's Pony Ramblings.

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Nothing is without a price, as many discover to their sorrow. Few are those who truly know themselves, and fewer still are those who know which prices are worth bearing—and which hide perils threatening that which they most treasure.

*****

My gratitude to all of the participants in the "There Is Magic In Everything" writeoff event, for the comments, reviews, and appreciation which helped bring this to its current form.

Audiobook here, courtesy of Neighrator Pony!

And a second reading here, courtesy of Illya Leonov!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

and each of them new the steps of it like a well-rehearsed dance.

Ya done did goof.

I am thirsty, it is true.

The repetition was great, and really made the ending stick. Great stuff.

5088414

Someday, I will finally submit a story after finding and correcting every spelling error, malapropism, and homonym mix-up. Today is, apparently, not that day.

Thanks for the catch, and I'm glad you felt like the style paid off!

I like your prose. It's sort of old-timey-ish. :D

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I like it more, yet I'm wondering what you changed. :O

It was very interesting to say the least

Very satisfying, and mirrors traditional folk tales very well. I think it could have done without the note at the end, but I don't like the explicit morals at the end of Aesop's fables, so what do I know?

You're a sexy man, Chris.

Like the brothers Grimm, only without the death. Truly a message here to be remembered, wonderful work!

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Thank you all very much!

5088879
Not many big things, but a lot of little things. Other than general cleaning, there was a lot of stuff to make the story more cohesive (the mentions of the honey); some changes to the dialogue to hopefully make it sound more like, well, dialogue, without losing it's fable qualities; changes to Thistletuft's rejections to try and make them more clearly fit the intended theme; and a bit of general smoothing. Probably some other stuff, too; it felt like a lot of work for something that ended up looking remarkably similar, if you compare them side-by-side!

5089435
When I wrote this for the writeoff, I thought the ending would be much less well-received than it was, so I'm not surprised it's not everyone's cup of tea. Sorry that part didn't work for you--if it's any consolation, I don't dislike those explicit Aesopian morals :scootangel:

I remember this from the write-offs. A wonderful little piece, and the edits have improved it.

O Mai God he replied *faints*

Another beautiful piece as always. Bravo and thank you for sharing it.

Very nice.

Darn, My mind has been plowed. O_O

That is all. That needs to be said.:twilightsmile:

That...was.... .beautiful.:pinkiesad2:
It was like MLP mixed with a folktale.
:heart:

I still like this story.

I still feel like it sort of niggles at the "know your place" thing, though.

Still gets a thumbs up.

I do love a good folktale and this fits right in; nicely written and thank you for posting it. :twilightsmile:

Amazing! Fav AND like for that amazing story, this was just like some sort of folk tales. Its very rare for me to like reading folk tales, and this has gotten my attention.:pinkiehappy:

Finally read this revision. Excellent work, as usual, but that third paragraph drove me nuts! Reading "that week as every week" was like hearing someone tear Velcro *shudders*

I have a soft spot for fairytale and folklore, and this story scratched my itch nicely. Great job.

“Princess Celestia is possessed of eternal life, yet her sorrow is unending. All that she loves must pass, even that which she dreamed would be with her for eternity.

Celestia pauses as she reads, "Wait... does everypony think I'm slitting my wrists every night or something? Sheesh!"

:trollestia:

Alas, but some creatures must choose power, knowledge and immortality. For if none did we would have no stories at all.

WEEP FOR THE FATE OF THOSE POOR CHARACTERS COMPELLED BY THEIR SADISTIC AUTHORS!! They must forever dance at the ends of their pupetteers' strings! :raritydespair:

:trollestia:

5096621 These sorts of tales were very useful for keeping the serfs in line. :trixieshiftright:

5089435 The problem with absolute morals at the end of a fairy tale is that they are highly subjectively tied to the story, which itself is fictional, and yet the reader is expected to conclude that the moral is true.

Kind of an obvious logical flaw with that... :raritywink:

I prefer the 'morals' which are more allegorical and general, such as the fox and grapes representing the tendancy of some to reject the desireability of something which appears unobtainable, which a reader can personalize into useful lessons for themselves. One can contrast that with a fable of someone so obsessed with something apparently unobtainable that they waste away in longing, or ignore something else that might have brought them equivalent satisfaction or a more true form of happiness. And from those two extremes one can then define glean a personal balance between desire and satisfaction.

Or go totally nuts and seek the power to rule the omniverse... not that I know anything about that... :trixieshiftleft:

5118873 Actually, I personally would have drunk from all three, but I've seen enough people self-destruct directly because of weatlh/power over-abundance to know that is probably the unwise choice.

5119073 Don't drink from the tar one! It's actually that evil goo puddle from Star Trek: TNG that killed Tasha Yar! :pinkiegasp::fluttershbad:

Hey, I just read this. Hey, I liked it! Hey, you misspelled "mirror" in the seventh paragraph.

Reads like an old fairytale. I definitely loved the style of it.

Full review here, but in brief: maybe not the most Pony of ponyfics, but it does very much have the right feel for a fable, hence the upvote.

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