Rainbow Dash was expecting for the day to be a boring visit with her parents then a short snack and a ride back to where things make sense. Things do not turn out quite that way, Rainbow Dash bumps in to somepony, and the results change both of them.
Cover Art by Silcy
Edited by RockMonster6
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great story. I loved the character development of Blueblood. I do want one thing though.
A SEQUEL!!!!
I want Rainbow and Blue to get together. That would be awesome.
God luck with future stories.
That word... it does not mean what you think it means. Not even remotely close. A geas is in no way related to the illusion school. A geas is either mind magic or binding magic depending on the source material.
...
What? I'm not going to point out the grammatical errors, there are far too fucking many. If a mistake exists in the English language then you made it, repeatedly.
Rainbow + blueblood? A new ship has appeared! Awesome story. Well written but with some pretty minor grammar mistakes, didn't really mess with the flow too badly. You have received an EPIC 9/10 + the BADASS seal of approval. I must request a sequil
This is what we need. More fanfic's that don't show Blueblood as a doughe bag and more of the mean stallion with a noble heart.
I love finding positive blueblood fics but its truly a strawberry to the cake when people include the fact that being prince even if its with an ego like his doesn't mean he has zero responsibility other then being there to look good and be bossy.Most of the time when hes confronted and usually over aggressively on what's his purpose or point to his title by others,they make him answer with nothing or never provide him with any actual occupation to make his challenger more right. I like that you both displayed him doing a job that wasn't simply shallow judging of things. He seems naive but not heartless to those around him or the struggles of others which would be a great canon concept for the show if they ever decide to make him appear again and give him more background.
The idea here is fine, but the execution could use some work. First, you should get an editor and clean up all of the typos and grammatical errors.
Then, I think you should take a look at what you're doing with Blueblood. I get what you're trying to do, but I honestly think that he might be acting too nice for most of the story, especially since he starts off the story in 100% jerk mode, but then quickly loses it all once he's on the train.
And then one final thing that really bothered me is that you seem to think that Ponyville and Canterlot are separate countries or something.
(at the end of the party scene)
Random Mare: (disappointed) "So he wasn't here for Primae noctis?"
5135322
Only one mare comes to mind so far...
Still thinking of that same mare...
Umm, Blueblood? The mare that you are looking for is sitting right next to you!
This needs a sequel! I want to see how Rainbow's and Blueblood's new friendship progresses.