• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Jay David


Just a guy from Britain who loves MLP.

T

Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle and all their friends go through the often-hectic trials of High-School life, with colleagues and ex-enemies along for the ride.


NSFW side-story

Chapters (304)
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Comments ( 76 )

I literally just sang Under Our Spell, and this gets published. How uncanny is that? Answer: Derpamena! :derpytongue2:+:pinkiecrazy:=:raritystarry:?

I like this. short, sweet, full of hope and uncetainy at the same time. It sums up the Dazzlings situatiouin quite nicely.

There's a Adagio, Aria and Tags now.

Comment posted by Jay David deleted Feb 3rd, 2015

I did notice one small error: it says that Sonata said, "I can't believe we tripped at the finish line!" But the dialogue after that seems to indicate that Aria said it...

This was a REALLY great story!

so the dazzling character tags are finally up, perfect

Hooray for the new tags!!! Reading this later :heart:

An interesting alternate take on the scenario! Mine, yours, in the infinite Ponyverses there's room enough for all possibilities. :derpytongue2:

This story is amazing I'm a big fan of the Dazzlings so this my type of story. Welocome to the Show. We won't be ignored and we will be adored.

Short, sweet, and possibly one of my favorite takes on the Dazzlings yet. Good job! :twilightsmile:

Some interesting ideas in this story, but it all feels too rushed.

Nice story. Overall it was pretty good. :pinkiesmile:

That said, I can't see either Aria or Adagio giving up on their powers and doing this. Neither of them seemed like the type to even console Sonata, let alone sit with their vanquishers at a lunch table.

Here's what I think should have happened:

Aria would probably ditch them and go sulk somewhere, eventually become a loner and drift off when the time came, never to be seen again.

Adagio would spend all of her days attempting to salvage and repair the amulets, either to no avail or so little as to not matter in the long term. She'd eventually try to obtain power in the school by other means, and inevitably fail due to a combination of her already atrocious reputation and the presence of essentially the human Elements of Harmony/Rainbow Power.

And Sonata... would go and find some new friends (Probably the human Mane 5 + Sunset) and live out the school to the best of her ability... so pretty much this story.

All of that said, if this specific scenario did happen, it'd undoubtedly be this strained and awkward. Good job capturing that. And yes, mind-control wuju aside, taking away those harmonies is nothing short of an atrocity. :fluttershysad:

Would it be wrong to want more of this story/have a sequel?

Yeah, the loss of such beautiful voices is almost a crime in itself.

On the other hand, the movie gave the impression that the magical amulets did the singing, not the sirens themselves, and thus the amulets had to go. :applecry:

Nice, man. Very nice.....

5077072
I don't know that Sonata is giving up, persay, it's just clearly not as important to her as it is to the others. I don't think they would necessarily refuse to change, but I do agree that there would probably be a period in between and they probably wouldn't buy the whole forgiveness thing wholesale. Sonata might bite the lure because she's clearly been wanting company for a while. Adagio/Aria would probably spend some time trying to fix the amulets, but at least one of them would probably give in eventually if Sonata was treated well.

5078146
Kind of sad to steal that from them, of course they tried to take Discord's chaos too at some level. I was under the impression that the amulets were a magical focus of some kind that allowed them to use their inherent powers outside of Equestria with negative energy. The more energy they obtained the more effective the amulets became, but they discharged energy when used to do something. In their absence, the Sirens are powerless in the alternate world. They do appear to enhance their singing somehow, but that may just be an ability they have that needs magic to work. It's not clear that any talent from Equestria that was magic based would work. After all there is no Equestrian magic in this alternate universe. Even Princess Twilight was powerless with regard to magic and the elements of harmony seemed to require an alternate activation mechanism, albeit that last one is sort of a plot-driven issue.

** To be honest, no one can stay in high school forever, so the EQG story is kinda limited in it's dimensions.

....you know what? you kinda have a point there.:pinkiesmile:

5080404

But do either of them even seem to be able to tolerate Sonata in RR? I just think they'd fly apart at the seams the moment they had an opportunity, seeing as they seemed to hate each other.

A little rough around the edges. I'd recommend finding an editor and thoroughly sweeping through this story. That said, this was a mostly believable scenario. I'm a bit skeptical on a couple things, but this was solid enough.

But as far as I'm concerned, taking away singing voices as beautiful as the Dazzlings' was just a crime.

Fair point.


5081291

seeing as they seemed to hate each other

I don't see it quite that way. Sure, it might have looked that way. But I'm more inclined to believe that's just the relationship they have with each other. Ya know, "With friends like these, who needs enemies," and all. That sort of thing.

5087782

I'm not convinced. I think they genuinely hated each other quite a bit, as is stated in the opening scene in the movie. Their only bonding force was their plan to take over the human world, and then, possibly Equestria. Also, normal, functioning friendships don't devolve into name-calling and insults 80% of the time, usually. I've heard stories of good friends doing that, but I doubt the Sirens are one of those. Aria and Adagio are consistently at each other's throats about authority, both hate Sonata's aloofness, and Sonata thinks they're mean. None of them have any better ideas than to work together to achieve a common goal, which was lost upon the destruction of their amulets.

That's my spin on it, at least. :twilightsheepish:

I thought every part of the story was believable and touching! :twilightsmile: Great job. I want to point out a few typos you made, though:

Just be thankful they haven't cast us intro the streets or something.

Into the streets.

They knew it immediately as the sound of someone signing.

Singing, not signing.

In the past, the Dazzlings had access to a trio of magical amulets, which not only enabled them to feed of the magic produced by hate and strife, but also enhanced their singing considerably.

"Feed of" should be "feed off".

Nopoy there would have seen it's effects as anything good, but it was theirs, and it was precious to them.

However, Rainbow's expression lost some of it's anger as a hand was placed on her shoulder.

You misspelled "no pony", and you misspelled "its" as "it's" twice.

We're not her to make fun of you or insult you.

That should be "here", not "her".

5081291
They are totally tolerating her the whole time. Keep in mind that there isn't any point where they really are not together. At least not that I recall. I didn't see any hate. Adagio being frustrated that Sonata's motivations don't have the same center yes, but hate, not so much. It's obvious they don't always get along, but they sing as a trio.

5090649

Well, I don't think this debate is going to change either of our minds, but thanks for the food for thought! :pinkiehappy:

5091067
For what it's worth, these aren't just any three girls with a plan to take over the world. Sure, they look like that, but it seems that they are still magical creatures trapped in a world without magic. I also got the impression that they were 'The Sirens', not 3 separate sirens. Some of their comments could be explained by the emotional states brought on by being kicked out of the world that was your home and having most of your identity taken away. At least I see it that way.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I appreciate the central idea at play here, and the character interactions felt genuine, but your writing is very telly and ultimately detracted from the piece.

Would love to see a sequel to this!
So much potential for great drama and story! :eeyup:

I want to do a dramatic reading of this story. Would you allow me to do so?

Comment posted by Jay David deleted Feb 3rd, 2015

5134802 I shall. It will have character voices as well in it. (most if not all done by me).It will be a great reading trust me. :)

5134802 would u mind putting a link to the readig in the story description?

Comment posted by Jay David deleted Feb 3rd, 2015

5142954 I would like to be refered to by my YouTube name please. Rarityfangirl31 VA

Comment posted by Jay David deleted Feb 3rd, 2015

I love this story! c: :twilightsmile:

Author's Note:
Yeah, I know, defeat the bad guys and take away their source of dark power. I get it. But as far as I'm concerned, taking away singing voices as beautiful as the Dazzlings' was just a crime.

As a singer myself, I have to agree. Those minor chords they sang towards the end before blasting the Rainbooms over were some of the most hauntingly beautiful sounds I've heard in quite some time.

5156772
They were pretty damn good. Couldn't they have just stripped the mind controlly magicness from it?

Sequel. NOW. Please? :pinkiesad2:

Y'know, I still haven't seen Rainbow Rocks, but I've pretty much been unable to avoid spoilers, so I don't mind reading stories like this.

And this was pretty good. Definitely on par with the rest of your works.

Good story. I enjoyed. I agree with you about how it was sad they seemingly lost their voices completely. In all honesty, I enjoyed their songs more than I did the Rainbooms. It is also nice see another story feeding my appetite for more Dazzlings after Rainbow Rocks. I remember I went through something similar with Sunset Shimmer after the first movie. Still do in some ways.

I thought you did a great job of catching their characters. They felt like the Dazzlings and Sunset felt like Sunset. Rainbow acted as Rainbow would act. Like I said it was a good story.

This was really good. Sequel? Plz?!

This is a good story. There were some errors though, but the rest was good.

Sunset, hearing all of this, simply took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Baby steps, Sunset. Baby steps."

I totally imagined the calming technique Cadence taught Twilight. :rainbowlaugh:
I enjoyed this very much. I want to keep quoting things back to you, but I'd end up just pointing up to the text itself. I really like this story line... is it wrong to want the EqG family to keep growing as it collects past villains? Esp sexy, talented ones?
I headcannon that the Siren's singing isn't lost exactly, just their ability to magic through it... and with practice they can sing just as beautifully as ever... as long as they're not trying to use the magic.

Yeah, I know, defeat the bad guys and take away their source of dark power. I get it. But as far as I'm concerned, taking away singing voices as beautiful as the Dazzlings' was just a crime.

Me too! :pinkiehappy:The Dazzlings' songs were the best MLP songs to me!:scootangel: I still have them in my iPod!:scootangel:

I can't believe I'm only now reading this because of your latest blog post. I'd say it's among the better stories in this continuity. :ajsmug:

"Baby steps, Sunset. Baby steps."

That’s right Sunset...baby steps:ajsmug:.

I’m definitely tracking this continuity:twilightsmile:. I admit, I wasn’t really all that interested in the EG version of MLP, but after reading a few stories and watching a few movies based on it...I guess I just got curious:applejackunsure:. Also, by the looks of it, there’s more ahead...a lot more:rainbowdetermined2:!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Why-slash-how did you add 300 chapters to this? @_@ I can't even find my review of the first one! I'm not reading this!

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