Featured on Equestria Daily.
Review by PaulAsaran
Review by Cerulean Voice
Review by Titanium Dragon
While visiting Twilight Sparkle, Rarity stumbles across an old book that, upon first glance, seems to provide a detailed insight into time-worn customs on the preservation of beauty and grace. Eager to expand upon her knowledge, she takes the book home with her.
She soon discovers that the book offers more than she ever could have imagined, and its secrets can be hers...
...if she's willing to pay the price.
Prompt and editing provided by Cold in Gardez
Additional editing provided by Themaskedferret
Chapters (1)
I love this fic. It manages to teach a very good moral while having some excellent characterisation between Twilight and Rarity near the end - not to mention the immense struggle that we can empathise Rarity with as she gets caught into the book's grip.
Garez has done a bloody good job editing and helping Slorg with Allure, and it shows.
Oh, and this fic really gives off an Inspiration Manifestation vibe; just with a deeper and more mature plot line, and a moral with more potential and subtle implications. That gets you an A in my book.
5622839 Uh oh. Something derped (probably me) during the submission process. I was certain I'd marked this as complete, as it's a one-shot.
Sorry about any confusion!
I'll be sure to read once I get back within internet range.
See you at Seaponies Paradise!
5622891 I changed it the moment I saw your comment. The fault was mine.
Thank you for reading!
So what happens if a person casts the spell twenty times but only has ten years to live? Do they just fall over and die with empty promises? But in all reality, great story, Slorg. I really enjoyed the characterization and the end/lesson of the story overall. I hope to see more from you in the near future!
--Stahl
The best Aesop.
I shall have to check out the rest of your work for similar good stuff.
I'm guessing if she cast the spell, she would have cast it so many times she would have died then and there, since it's A Lure, it would be luring people in, then the mahic would cause them to cast5 it as much as they can.
5623387 I didn't understand what the spell really would do for her. So, it would give her ten years to live or something but she'd never age? What?
I'm a friggin' retard so I really don't understand the book.
Then again it's called A Lure, so maybe it's trying to lure me into a state of confusion.
Anyways good story.
5626558 It makes sense if you think about it. Rarity would still age, but she'd never lose her beauty. She'd stay forever young in her looks, but not in her actual age.
5627015 Ah okay then, that DOES make more sense.
I was expecting something a bit...darker. Especially since she was calling herself a monster and all that.
5627037 Well, in a way, it is rather dark. The dark magic would want her to cast it over and over and over again, so if she did it once, she'd probably do it again. In my personal theory, she'd do it so many times that she'd eventually just fall over and die due to her doing it so much. It'd be suicide.
5627071 Is it me, or does Rarity have serious vanity issues?
In the end, Rarity proved that she'd be truly beautiful for all eternity.
Well done.
Is the price worth it when you don't know exactly when your fate is sealed? Nope, not worth it at all. She showed good judgment avoiding that lure.
Really good fic! Reminds me of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_1aF54DO60
Just one little thing that kind of bugs me:
Rarity's mascara would probably be the problem, not the eye shadow. Eye shadow tends to clump in your crease, it would not run down your cheek, as eye shadow is applied on your upper eyelid which is not affected by tears. Trust me on that one
5633496 Ooh, thanks for the tip. Mascara was actually what I was going for but, wouldn't you know it, eye shadow ended up on the page.
Will change that right now.
5633507 Happy to help!
I had to read the line twice because for some reason I thought that said crayons on canyons and couldn't understand why she'd have a book about crayons. xD
5634391 That'd certainly give new context to the quote.
I love this. People spend so much time nowadays chasing fleeting things, such as beauty, when they should be focused on the long term.
Great read!
5627071 It's a perfect spell for removing those who express far too much vanity!
I'm sure similar spells exist for wrath, sloth, envy, greed, lust... you get the idea.
And after all those imperfect ponies have offed themselves, you are left with a world of perfect harmony!
You see, the most ethical traps allow the victims to kill themselves. After all, no one forced them to do it... >:}
(A rather devious method of achieving harmony, for those who are fond of such things, eh?)
5637551 Yeaaah. See, you got it. What kind of monster would come up with such a spell? One with good intentions.
5637566 It's akin to a story I wrote years ago called "The Peaceful Way", in which a pacifist alien race offers humanity all manner of wonders, lays out a few subtle clues of a superweapon they fear to ever construct, let the info 'accidentally' slip, beg humanity not to build it...
.. and of course it turns out to be a device that once constructed autoactivates and nullifies the gravitational force of the entire planet, causing it to instantly fly apart.
A sort of space-age cataclysmic Pandora's Box.
It's how the aliens get rid of aggressive advanced races without firing a shot.
I'm working on a prototype as we speak!
(Such a method is used either by those with the sinister ends of good intentions... or, as in Alondro's case, by someone who's just bat-shit nuts.)
5637593 That's actually pretty darn clever.
5637606 I can send you the story if you wish. It's a short-story, only about 1,000 words long. Hmmm... now I can't recall if that one made it into a convention magazine... I submitted 4 stories that year. Tons of inspiration back then and time to really focus on developing the concepts. Some of my little stories end up being re-written 6 times before I'm happy with them.
Kinda why I'm going with silly stories. Less pressure to deliver a rock-solid plot, so long as it brings the laughs... and then I realize ho hard it is to carry a comedy long-term...
Anyway, back to my Doomsday Device!
5637593 I see someone out there besides me read Blue Beetle.
5637551 You, my friend, are a genius.
5641846 That's the purpose of communism after all.
We let the idiots who can't figure out it's the worst system imaginable destroy themselves with it.
Soon, our Master Plan shall be complete!
June is coming... (best conspiracy ever!)
A very short but profound look at existence, beauty and temptation. Thank you for writing it.
Admitting this tale into The Club
i.imgur.com/BF6x9JM.png
5659470 Honored, thank you.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
5702375 Thank you kindly.
I, too, gave this a review.
)
(Actually I did it first
It can be found here.
5703643 Much appreciated. I'm glad I didn't goof this one up.
Not bad. It didn't quite go how I expected; I really anticipated Rarity casting the spell at least once before deciding to do away with the book. I think most writers wouldn't have had her resist the temptation, so I applaud you for resisting temptation. It was certainly interesting to get Rarity's thoughts on the fleeting nature of beauty, although I find it curious to think that the fickle nature of the concept of beauty never came up.
5759826 Thank you!
It was tempting to have her give it a go at least once, but then that wouldn't really be Rarity. Or would it?
What if Rarity lied to Twilight about burning the pages containing the spell? I know how I personally interpret the ending, but it's intentionally open for speculation for anyone else.
In the end, it was a lot of fun to have a good, hard look at how Rarity might respond to something like Allure, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
5759843
I didn't see the ending as open-ended at all, but when you put it that way... why would Rarity just burn that one page? Why not the whole book, just to be safe? Curious.
This was one absolutely perfect Rarity story.
A true slice of life masterpiece.
You expertly explored how deep Rarity's understanding of beauty truly is. You showed in the most wonderful way that Rarity is anything BUT superficial in her search for beauty and her picture of herself as beautiful.
Again, a wonderful yet melancholic story.
Added to 'Golden Slice', Fav'd and liked.
5759826 Oh I join in into the applause. That was the cherry on the cake!
5769651 Thank you for the kind words.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
You can has review.
5802642 Thank you, good sir.
5802708
You are more than welcome, sir.
Who the heck names a trapped book "A Lure"? It's like making a hidden floor trap tile and then posting a sign on top of it saying "Trap here!" with an arrow pointing straight down.
6074047 Someone who is targeting the species that the 'mistranslated' text is for.
Hmm. I'm not sure I buy the moral of this story. Suppose she'd cast it. Why is that so terrible?
"The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long."
Is that so terrible? Is exchanging length of life for quality of life really so terrible? Will someday a wrinkled Rarity stare at the ceiling over her bed thinking back on this chance, wishing eagerly to trade another year of dreariness for even merely a day of her former beauty? Watching herself in the mirror as Twilight and Celestia remain ever youthful?
She made her choice. So be it. But had she decided the other way, it would be only her for to decide if it was the right choice.
6416716 It would be a very difficult choice to make, as we see through Rarity's eyes. What use are the final few years of life if they're just spent wishing you were young again?
The lure, however, was the fact that Rarity would be tempted to cast it far more than just once, or even twice. As some of the other readers worked out, she might end up casting it twenty times or more. If she only had twenty years left to live anyway, that means instant suicide.
6416801
She would have to be an idiot to cast them all at once though.
Using it 20 times isn't necessarily a problem. Let's say her natural lifespan is only 60 years, and she's 20 when she starts. She dies at age 40, but every year from 20 to 40 she remains equally young and beautiful as she is when she starts.
Or, take another case: that her natural lifespan is only to 40, and she's willing to cast it those same 20 times. So at age 20 she casts it once, and her lifespan is reduced to 39. In a year she casts again, lifespan reduced to 38. At age 30, still looking 20, she casts it again, that pushes her over and to her great surprise she dies immediately, having never even completed the full 20 spellcasts she ultimately would have been willing to perform.
But every year she get to make that decision.
There's no reason for her to cast all 20 times immediately.
6416808 There are tons of ways it could play out.
I think that's one of the reasons it was so fun to write. There isn't necessarily a right or wrong answer to what she should have done or not done. Some people will decide she should have gone through with it, others will decide it's too risky. It gets you thinking, and that's always a good thing.
Hmph