• Published 28th Sep 2014
  • 1,342 Views, 25 Comments

Flash Sentry Blocks Twilight Sparkle's Progress in Every Conceivable Situation - Protopony350



RAINBOW ROCKS SPOILERS! Flash Sentry has been corrupted by Discord! And Nightmare Moon! And..........a fortune cookie? Oh boy here we go.

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Flash Sentry Blocks Twilight Sparkle's Progress in Every Conceivable Situation

One day in the Non magical but still kind of fun world of Canterlot High, something terrible was going down, and it was Effecting the entire town!

Discord, spirit of chaos and all around great voice had decided to pay a visit to the school!

"Oh boy, i can't wait to wreak anarchy and all it brings!" Said Discord with a chuckle

He walked right into the school, disguising himself as a tough but emotionally scarred teenager with everything to prove!

Discord started small. He walked right up to Principal Celestia and turned her into a fully loaded soft serve ice cream machine with 3 flavor options and a bar full of toppings!

The entire school went running toward the sound of the ice cream, and Discord was pleased with the Chaos he was spreading.

Down the hall past the English class to the left of the gym, Sunset Shimmer saw the whole thing!

"This looks like a job for magic ponies" She said. After saying this she stopped and sat down for a few minutes to contemplate the implications of the words that she just spoke.

Sunset Shimmer picked up her magic dimension book and began writing

"Dear Princess Twilight. Help please Celestia is all ice cream -Sunset Shimmer"

Back in Equestria Twilight Sparkle picked up her glowing book and read the words written by her friend and kind of student apparently Sunset Shimmer.

"I'M ON MY WAY!" She said to no one as she jumped through the mirror that turns her into a human instead of just transporting her as a pony for some reason.



Discord was having a blast turning the drinking fountain water slightly colder when he saw a group of students go running towards a radical looking teenage boy.

"FLASH, ARE YOU OK?" Asked a random person

"Yeah, they just let me out of the hospital yesterday" Replied Flash Sentry

Flash Sentry had been hit by a bus while skateboarding to school while simultaneously shredding on his guitar.

"It was really bad, so they had to replace half of my body with robot" He continued

Discord began to smile deviously at this new development.




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Twilight Sparkle arrived at the school with great haste!

"'I've gotta get some of that ice cream!" She said

She was running so fast that she didn't notice the large brick wall appear in front of her. She ran full speed into it.

"Oh come on, what is a wall doing he-" She cut herself off when she noticed the human face sticking out of the wall.

"FLASH?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND WHY ARE YOU A WALL?" She asked

"Oh hey Twilight! I got hit by a bus, yadda yadda, robot body parts, ability to transform and so on" He replied

"Ok I understand that completely, but why are you a wall?" She was understandably confused

"Oh, that new kid, I think his name was Discory. He asked me to 'impede your steps like a brick wall" He smiled at her because he loved her or something

"Well ok, I guess that makes sense. I'm just going to walk around you and go into the school, ok?" Twilight was really taking this well

"Alright Twi, see ya around!"




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Twilight walked into the school, but tripped and fell flat on the cold hard floor.

"What on earth was........oh" She slapped her face in realization

"Hey babe, whats up?" Asked flash, who had taken the form of the entire floor and made a small hole for Twilight to trip on.

"Flash, why are you the floor now? This is really inconvenient" She said with a huff and stomped her foot, accidentally stepping on Flash's face in the process.

"Oh, well, that new kid ran up and said 'Do not let Twilight Sparkle set one foot on school grounds', so I figured it's be ok if I covered the school grounds" He was TRYING to be sweet, but it came off more horrifying than anything.


Twilight laughed a little, completely unintentionally




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Vice Principal Luna saw her opportunity and took it!

"ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS! PRINCIPAL CELESTIA IS ALL ICE CREAM! I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE!" Also for some reason this made her look more evil and turn black.

"Now I must keep that Twilight Sparkle from interfering with my plans to run for mayor!" She said without a hint of foreshadowing.

Principal Nightmare Moon walked up to Flash Sentry, who was back in human form, and began to talk to him.




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"I've gotta get to that ice cream" Twilight really wanted some Ice Cream!

Suddenly Twilight began to slide across the floor, right past the Ice Cream Celestia, and into a wall.

The floor had become ice!

"OH COME ON FLASH WHY ARE YOU ICE NOW?" She was getting mad

"Principal Nightmare Moon told me to 'Slip Twilight Up before she get to the ice cream machine" Replied Flash

"WHAT? NIGHTMARE MOON? I HAVE TO FIND THE OTHERS SO WE CAN STOP HER!"

Twilight started to run, but was blasted in the face with an ice cold substance. She fell again

Flash had become a huge fire extinguisher

"She also told me to 'Extinguish her plans!'"

Twilight frantically started running down the hall, but fell right into huge vat of jello

"Discory told me to 'Put a Jello to her progress!'" Said Flash

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!" Screamed Twilight

Flash started to feel like maybe Twilight wasn't having a good time. He turned back into a human.

"Oh man Twi, I'm sorry, why don't we go grab some lunch and talk things over" Flash was really charming when he wasn't a floor, so they went out to lunch.




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Twilight and Flash decided to go out for Chinese.

"Oh boy that sure was a great meal" Said Flash

"Yeah, but now can you tell me why Celestia is all ice cream?" Twilight asked

"Sure, but first

I have to

OPEN

THIS

FORTUNE COOKIE!" And he opened it.

Flash immediately transformed into a huge dragon and began destroying the building.

Twilight was horrified, but decided to read the fortune.

"Be yourself"

"That doesn't make any sense" She was really confused

She turned the fortune around

"Chinese Dragon" It was the name of the restaurant

"YOU IDIOT, THAT WASN'T PART OF THE FORTUNE!" Twilight screamed

"You mean it didn't say 'Be yourself, Chinese dragon?" Boy was his face red

Twilight's eye began to twitch.




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Back at school Twilight was about to snap.

"FLASH, TURN INTO A BIG ROBOT AND BRING DISCORY AND NIGHTMARE MOON TO ME" She said in a panic

So he did just that

"Oh my, it's Twilight Sparkle, I am SOOOO terrified" Said Discord mockingly

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Screamed Twilight as she pulled the Elements of Harmony out of her backpack and vaporized Discord and Luna.

And that was the end of that!

Twilight walked over and got some ice cream.




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So after calling the police and having Twilight taken to a mental asylum, Sunset Shimmer and her friends used the elements and turned Celestia back into a human.

"Thank you all, that was a pure living hell unlike anything you could possibly imagine. I'm just glad to be back to normal!" Said Celestia.

"So teach, where did all that ice cream come from anyway?" Asked Sunset Shimmer.

"You don't want to know" Replied Celestia and everyone laughed.

"COWABUNGA!" Yelled Flash as he turned into a Dune Buggy and all of the friends jumped in.

They drove off into the sunset, ready for more hilarious adventures.

Celestia quit her job and went slowly insane after the horror she had suffered.

THE END!

Comments ( 25 )

*On the floor laughing* *Gets hit by Flash* Okay okay I'll stop! But you have to admit it was kinda funny.

Flash: Ya good point. Favorite it.

Me: i was planning on it.

Weird thing is, there's at least three parts of this I wouldn't be at all surprised to see in the next movie.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This is everything I wanted, and everything I didn't know I wanted.

I think that means it's everything.

5069989

HOLY CRAP FLASH HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE 4TH WALL AGAIN I'LL ALERT THE MILITARY, YOU CALL CONGRESS!

WE HAVE A WAR ON OUR HANDS!

5071649 YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE! FLASH TO THE PORTAL!

*We both go through the portal to Canterlot High and it closes*

Flash: Ha ha!

This proves that you are indeed a criminal genius. This was not the fic seven people wanted, but it was the fic nine of needed.

Bonus points for writing in a way that felt like Hank Hill was actually reading this out loud. :pinkiecrazy:

5073002

I'm loving the Like/Dislike tug of war. It's like every trollfic writers dream :trixieshiftleft:

I'm sad I didn't see this in my news feed. Would you like an upvote or a down vote? :trollestia:

OR SOME ICECREAM?!?!?!?

5074123

I'VE GOTTA HAVE THAT ICE CREAM! :raritystarry:

5074180

THAT IS NOT SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM DISPENSED FROM PRINCESS CELESTIA! :twilightangry2:

I love the bizarre, overly straightforward and 'boring' narrative style of this story. it adds to the humor immensely.

"radical-looking teenage boy" "Skateboarding and shredding guitar simultaneously." <- :rainbowlaugh:

This is the best story ever written by anyone ever.

6029441 Exactly!:rainbowlaugh: But maybe second... Or third.

6562913

THIS IS CLEARLY THE GREATEST STORY ON THE SITE AND YOU ARE WRONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!

6563301 This is funniest, but not greatest. Yes it is great story, but not the greatest story ever! Well it's my thoughts.

6566355

It is okay you seem like a cool cat

The entire school went running toward the sound of the ice cream,

So.... you can hear ice cream now?

6657115

You CAN'T hear ice cream?

6658327 I'll have to ask alex if he can grant me that power.

...I was looking for a story I think I had a dream about several years ago.
Somehow, I found this.
It didn't help me chase down the dream, but I feel it was worth my time anyway.
I think?

9335052

Oh wow, I never expected anyone to read THIS one again!

Thank you!

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