• Member Since 18th Nov, 2012
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Dan_s Comments


Story teller at heart. I like to examine the unusual. I spend too much time being 'reasonable'. I write to play, and hope others enjoy the results.

T

Shortly before Nightmare Moon's return, a human arrives and sets up in the Minotaur territories. She wears the Ruling Ring she forged and a collection of the other Rings of Power. She is intent on wielding her power for her own goals.

A Dark Lord of the Sith arrives soon after and sets up in the castle of the Pony Sisters. Intent on finding a suitable apprentice. Will they ally themselves with Nightmare Moon and the other enemies of Equestria, or will they seek to clear the board of all opposition and claim the world for themselves?

What will the Elements of Harmony do? What will Celestia do? What will the other nations do? Why is Spike making wagon loads of popcorn?

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 46 )

I have no idea what just happened... Are you high or something..

Teaching/improving them, through being a villain. This should be a very fun read :)

I'm not entirely sure where this is going, but I like it.

Another story posted? I guess it's just another one to add to my reading list. Damn, there goes more time that could have been spent on writing.

I don't know what's going on, but I like it. I think?:rainbowhuh:

5067124
Seems obvious to me. You don't have to be cruel to be evil, and you don't have to be kind to be good. Not to mention the fact that the Jedi were idiots with their "emotions and feelings are all teh EVILZ, hurr hurr hurr" attitude. (Admittedly, the Sith weren't any better, with their Snidely Whiplash attitude towards villainy.)

5067414 Good is Not. Soft, also it's based on various real life philosophies, such as. Buddhism.

Now we have a crossover of another franchise with another franchise crossed over into FIM. Okay then.

5067124 No, this is me stone cold sober, or thoroughly knurd, take you pick. After all the heavier stuff, I had to write something lighter, softer and sillier. I Am Not Spartacus and Cultural Artifacts were going in too dark a direction, so I needed to cleanse my pallet as it were.

5067223 :twilightoops:What! :twilightangry2:Hmm, I get I'll have to put you on the block list then.

5067286 This is me intentionally writing something that deserves the random tag.

5068117 be nice to Top Pop, this was asked right before I submitted chapter two.

so is the story going comedy I say that will be musing

The Sith Master Bates?
...
Yeah, I'd stay an apprentice too with that name.

Interesting chapter...wanting more now. Damn you, sir. Damn you. :moustache:

Aaaaaaand it sounds like some group of someponies are determined to edit History and keep it edited - even if that means a little arson and murder.

Wonder if Celestia knows of this -- or even if she's ordered it?

So far this has been a fun ride all around. I especially like the bits and pieces about how unnerving it is to Celestia that there is a unknown entitiy tapping some serious dark magic without doing anything obvious evil with it. Not something she is used to, considering the usual cast of villains. The reports about Wendy's face-off with Nightmare Moon will result in tea being spit across the room, no doubt about it.
One thing has kept bugging me while reading this. Wendy has revealed that she's not from around there and pretty much on her own to some of the minotaurs. I can understand them getting her age wrong with how mature she acts most of the time. What baffles me is that nobody seems to inquire about her place of residence, not even when she was in protective custody with an officer in the room. They assume her to be a travelling student but even then she'd need a place to sleep, to forward messages to if necessary.
Other than for this one detail the whole story makes for some great reading and I am very much looking forward to whatever happens next.

One question: will Wendy age during her stay in Equestria?

5067883 Yes, I double-crossed you. That's okay, I'm going to double-cross the characters too.

5068131 Yes. Enough to give Discord a headache.

5069190 Working, chapter three is a bit of an experiment, I'm trying to make sure there's enough breadcrumbs someone else can follow it. :twilightblush:

5069699 Then when it comes out, enjoy chapter three as a series of disconnected vignettes and don't try to follow the thread.

5070808 The organized group is the cult of Nightmare Moon. The others will be discussed.

5072711 During her first breakdown, Wendy said she used to be from around there, so they assume she's an adult native. Granny is the one who's beginning to suspect she's not really a transformed adult minotaur. But just what she hasn't figured out.

Considering seasons one through the beginning of the fourth took place in roughly a year, even if she ages, she'll only age a year. (65/66 crazy adventures in 365 days, that more than one a week).

Quit jumping on bad bandwagons, and making them awesome.

It messes with my ability to prejudge fics based on the number of cliches in the description. :derpytongue2:

Little old ladies with slideshows of vacations and families.

F***, he's Evil! :)

5076707 Cliches aren't cliches because of the set up, they are cliches because of the delivery.

5077183 :rainbowwild:

5077183 :pinkiecrazy: I don't watch the slide show, I watch the pain of the other people there that ARE watching the slides:trollestia:

I think I prefer the Darth to the Wendy

I had to stop reading, for a minute, when the Ghostbusters showed up. Laughing too hard.

5103158
Well, given that Grogar has probably shown up in the past and will likely appear in the future, wouldn't that make them the Goatbusters? *grin*

I love you. I've now read enough of your work that you'll get a nice review in the next two weeks but know right now that this story makes my love you. I never realized you could do comedy so well. Write on man... Write on...

The idea that every single pony in history has gone through CMFIS during their life is pretty scary. The realization that Princess Celestia has yet to do it is even scarier, considering what happened to Luna. I'm now left wondering if the Cutie Marks themselves are supposed to be a bug...or a feature?

Nice chapter. Seeing the meeting between Bates and Wendy happen so early on was a bit of a surprise but it went down mostly as I had imagined it. All that was missing were tea and biscuits.

Sleeping in that ancient apartment under the cafeteria

Wasn't the apartment in the hidden space just below the roof and thus above the cafetaria?

5104254 It looks like going through at least one mental episode is a common occurence among ponies. It does fit with the mental fragility many of them display, even in day to day life. With Celestia we don't seem to be all that far away if her rant is anything to go by. Luckily with Luna returned she will be there to stabilize her sister.

5087322 Hopefully chapter 4 puts Wendy's 'I am invincible and have fooled these adults' in proper perspective.

5103158 :trollestia: Draws 'Surrender Wendy!' over Labyrinthopolis in rainbows.
Star: Let's show this prehistoric b*cth how we do things downtown!
:twilightblush: Mail from Minotaura? What's in it?
rrbgames.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ghosttrap.jpg
:trollestia: Hello Twilight, I can explain! :facehoof:

5103527 Yes. Yes it would.

5103895 You're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

5104254 5104748 It does explain why ponies are so panicky. If you knew the right emotional upset would turn you from who you are into Hannibal Lector, you'd get frightened of new experiences too. I'm saying feature, with no help file.
You want a scary idea, Celestia's entire 1000 year period alone is her CMFIS period, :rainbowderp: now that Luna's back, Celestia can be 'well'. :twilightoops: She fought a lot of critters back in the day, didn't she?

The store rooms were in the apartments under the roof, the stairwell and apartment were the spaces beneath the cafeteria.

Good story, the only problem I have with it so far is that it's trying to be two things at once. With Darth Bates its more of a comedy that doesn't take it self seriously, with Wendy it's more of a serious story dealing with a child forced to grow up too fast and dealing with it, an the consequences that will happen with what she's trying. They seem more like separate stories that are mashed up into one.

5132654 You have it partially right. But the intent was to compare and contrast the response of a veteran who takes all the events with a flip attitude of someone who's done this a hundred times, with 'a child forced to grow up too fast and dealing with it, and the consequences that will happen with what she's trying'.
Darth Bates treats it all as a game, Wendy doesn't know it's a game. But none of them have considered it might not be their game.

"Darth Bates"? And he's looking for an apprentice, who will have to call him "Master"? Who chose that name?

5463778 His previous master so he'd be content to stay an apprentice.

It seems like, if they really were working with Equestria, they could've passed a message saying to back off of Wendy earlier.

5631086 You are assuming that someone listened to them. The cult of Nightmare may have hired them.

I like this story a lot i hope it still lives and more will come.

Please continue this story, I really enjoy her sections, he is a bit smug.

6994667 7069343 Still working on it, but there's other stories ahead of it in the queue.

There's a reason Anakin prefers to be known as 'Lord' Vader.

Fun story. Hoping it's not dead.

8194061 Glad you're enjoying it. It's not dead, I just had to tone down some things that might be a little too dark. Finding the right balance is a bit troubling.

8194404

I can understand that. As much as I love your writing style, it does seem tend to upset some of the more sensitive readers on this site. :rainbowlaugh:

I honestly really liked where this story was heading, I wonder if this will ever be updated.

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