After reading an article about a new team of super powered ponies Masked Matter-Horn and Radiance travel to Derby Heights to learn about a new trio of super powered ponies. After a brief encounter with the city's criminal element they meet the trio and learn something that sends the Masked Matter-Horn into a series of actions she and Radiance never thought the mare would even play at.
This is a one-shot Power Ponies story, feel free to use it as a source for your own projects. I didn't know what other categories to put in, feel free to tell me. The first chapter was now being treated as a test run, things will be expanded in the soon-to-come official chapters. Tags will be added as needed, feel free to tell me what tags are needed in the comments of the chapters. If the story starts getting more gruesome I will be changing the rating.
You'll also notice I added a new genre to the story, that's because after taking a close look at my writing that's what I noticed it was like. While I will admit it does have potential adventure elements I will also point out that when I tried to check off Slice of Life and Adventure the system told me they were conflicting genres and didn't allow it.
With a bit of editing and fleshing out, this has the makings of a good story. You have created good backstories and alter egos for Radiance and Matter-Horn, and I would love to see your takes on the others. If you do, though, as I said earlier, make sure you edit it before you post it.
-Your friendly adventurer of FiMFic,
Shady Canopy
5063727 I'll see what I can do, but the truth is I'm a self-editor and the main reason is I'm not aware of anyone that can look this over and get back to be in an appropriately timely fashion. I know at least one English Major, but the last message I sent him was months ago and I still haven't heard back.
5063784 I could help out. Not all the time, mind you, but occasionally.
5064085 We'll see, I'm currently in the process of writing out the revised version of the story.
5064085 I'm really disappointed that all I have is down votes on this story, I'm going to stick with it though. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in time for Halloween, I'm starting to think of updating schedules for one or 2 stories and I'm thinking after the last chapter I'm working on the story will only be updated during Halloween season (that will give me time to focus on my other stories and allow me to see to a proper editor for the story).
5274784 Quite a bit, I'll see to editing that all later. You'll notice it says that it's "test chapter" a sort of teaser, the story proper does all it can to clarify aspects that are vague.