4) Conflagration
Drawn With the Night Into the Day - Conflagration
by Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
"All right, the roads and aqueducts are going well."
The hundreds of ponies nodded at the wisdom of their princess.
"They'll really be something if we ever get any carts or water. The Libraries are merely waiting on books, and therefore paper and ink, but I can assure you those are high on my list of priorities. Along with everything else. Suffice it to say that in the eight years I have been your leader, I have never -"
'Wakey, wakey.'
And Luna was yanked out of the moonscape, but slowly enough that she saw the thousands of pony-shaped, dust golems fade into the lunar soil from which they'd been raised. "Buffalo Brownies!" she growled as she found herself back in the throne-room in Canterlot.
Facing Discord.
Everything fell into place. "You did this to me!" she shouted as she stood. "You dare! You will be punished for this offense against the crown! You will be encased in stone and hidden in the deepest caverns to never see the light of day again!"
When Discord wiped the spittle from his face, Luna wiped the foam from her lips. "You do this then dare show your face to me?"
"I think Celestia will be quite interested in your nocturnal activities, of the last few days, and the last few months. Especially since the toy fair."
Luna shied at that and shook her head.
"And to be perfectly honest, I did nothing to you. I set a barrier around a geographical location, the man has suffered enough. It is hardly my fault you blundered into it being where you had no business being," Discord said calmly, "Your sentence there, is a thousand years. I needed to tell you that, so you won't despair that there is no escape. I also made sure you could wake from the dream. After all, the real fun is watching you walk around all day knowing that when sleep comes, so does 985 more years of unrelenting dread. When sleep stops being a rest from the pressures of the day, but a ravenous enemy you cannot escape. And you can feel your sanity drifting away as sleep nibbles bites of it away, day by day, night by night. Then you might understand and ask for pity from your tormentor. Which I will grant, I'm not you. Since you have no decency, and possess no empathy, I had to make you understand in a way your petty, narcissistic, little brain could comprehend. And give you a 'get out of jail free' card your pride would never let you use. Let's go see dear Celestia, see what she says about your terrifying a foal who has the bad luck to love an innocent you are eager to destroy. I'll let you plead your case to her first, just to be extra-specially fair. Do you really think she'll appreciate what you've been doing?"
Luna paled and drew back, then rallied. "What? Have you become the defender of the downtrodden?" Luna laughed, "This is just another game for you to play and grow tired of. You aren't championing them, you just need a reason to harass your first jailers."
She'd expected him to lash out. He looked at her coldly and replied civilly, without raising his voice. "Perhaps. But if you wish to justify your actions by saying 'I'm better than Discord' you deserve neither that throne, nor the powers you have. Nightmare Moon could arguably make the same claim, but she didn't demand that people love her for her scourgings." Discord walked away as the first light of the day began filtering into the throne room.
Luna dragged herself after the draconequus. Her nightlong nightmares of the past few days had left her groggy and unfocused. Not the best frame of mind to argue from, she thought as she followed.
Celestia was understandably concerned about Discord's presence and his humorless mien. Luna took a few moments to properly set the moon, before facing the pair of them. She realized her mistake as Celestia noted it was three antagonists, not the Pony Sisters against Discord.
"Discord said there's something we need to talk about, and has ceded the floor to you," Celestia said and looked at Luna.
Luna sighed and began to explain her dealings with this threat to Equestria, and Discord too.
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Celestia's near legendary tranquility and aplomb had rarely been tested as it had this morning. She had already canceled all her meeting and appointments for the day. She doubted her temper would stand much more.
"Discord," she said sharply, and even the draconequus winced, "What you have done is inexcusable." She noted the smug look from Luna, but ignored it for the moment. "Many ponies depend on Luna and her abilities. Your actions will deny them her skills for quite some time. You will adjust your spell so it only affects Luna for a few minutes at a time, for say five times a night."
Celestia ignored the thump beside her, not caring to see how much and what part of Luna had hit the floor. "You are remanded to Fluttershy's custody, and will remain in her home or in her presence, save when you are preparing a report on not abusing your power, to torment those who haven't harmed you."
Discord at least looked chagrined as he nodded.
"Princess Twilight has much experience preparing excellent reports, you will enlist her aid in preparing said report, which I expect to be complete, written, proofread and ready for presentation in three weeks time. Are we both clear on this?"
"Very clear, your Majesty," Discord said.
"Begone."
And the alicorns were alone.
"My dear sister, it must have been terrible," Celestia said, "Wondering what I'd do when I found out you'd lied to me."
Luna had been approaching, now she backed away.
Celestia examined her hoof, as she spoke, "I do wonder, what else have you lied to me about? How much of my trust have you betrayed?"
"Nothing, Celestia."
"But is that true, or just another lie?" Celestia asked as she looked at Luna. "We did a man a terrible injustice. And when we hemmed in on all sides he who had offered us no threat, he prostrated himself before us and asked simply to be let alone. No threat to expose us, no cry for revenge, just the succor of time and distance to let him heal among his new friends and family. A boon we granted, I granted, and thought you had too. Was not his abject humiliation and acknowledged helplessness before us sufficient for you? Now, how many of your decisions do I have to review to see if you've kept your word to our subjects?"
"Please Celestia," Luna said with tears running down her cheeks.
"No, your Highness, our ponies come first. I love my sister. I had hoped she would understand my disapproval and seek to correct her mistake. But if the Lunar Diarch cannot keep her word, then all we have done is suspect. Our ponies have to trust us, or we cannot help them."
"He's dangerous!" Luna shouted.
"To whom? A maker of toys and a family man?" Celestia replied with equal heat as she walked towards Luna, "To your image that you can do no wrong? To some desire to revenge yourself on one who wounded me? If revenge was to be extracted, it was my right and not yours!" Celestia thundered, "How DARE you attack an innocent in my name! You think I am so weak that I cannot defend myself and my own good name? Then what of your courage? Striking where he cannot hope to strike back, and keeping the excuse of 'I was doing it for Celestia' to deflect any blame! If he is such a threat, have the decency to face him yourself and offer a swift death. To drag it out over weeks and months is sadism, not security. Have the decency to let his family see the blood on your hooves and not make them think his growing madness is their failing." Celestia had backed Luna into a corner and still glared at the quivering mare. "And you dare complain when someone turns the tables on you. Discord did nothing you have not already done. Be glad he withheld his hand further." Celestia stepped back and examined Luna, who shivered at the coldness of the gaze. "Or perhaps he was crueler than I surmise. He left you alone with naught but yourself. A more conniving cellmate I could not imagine. Even an alien who stank of death and terror could not be as foul. In that cell, I had no fear of a knife in the belly in the dead of the night. Be cautious my sister, else she will slip a blade between your ribs and claim it was for my greater glory."
Celestia stormed out, wanting more than anything to vent her full rage at these events. What did Discord say, only the ones you love can make you that mad, she thought, I wonder if he meant angry, or insane?
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"But why is it wrong to drag someone out of their nice, safe, comfortable existence and force them into a situation where they think everything is dangerous, and they think everyone is out to get them?" Discord asked Fluttershy as Twilight 'helped' with his report.
"Oh, it's never all right to do something like that," Fluttershy said.
"But, if you're protecting someone very important to you?" Discord asked.
"Discord," Fluttershy said firmly, "I would never want you to do that for me. I can't think of anyone who would." Fluttershy turned and smiled at Twilight. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"Uh, yeah," Twilight said.
"But what if I'm really, really angry?" Discord asked.
Fluttershy shook her head. "It's no excuse. There is a very big difference between helping a friend and becoming, well, a bully yourself." Fluttershy looked over at Twilight who seemed to be trying to cough up her lungs. "Are you all right?" she asked, patting Twilight on the back.
"Fine," Twilight gasped, and glared at Discord.
"Now I can understand how a child might want something like that, but a grown up would never allow something like that to happen. Even if their best friend in the world had been hurt," Fluttershy scolded Discord, "You understand that, right?"
"Maybe Twilight should explain the, well, scholarly reasons for it. I'm kind of new to the whole 'morality' thing. There must be some books around here on moral philosophy."
Fluttershy smiled. "Yes, that's a good idea. I'm sure there's lots of books on it, and I'm sure Twilight can help you find the relevant philosophers. But I have to get some supplies at the market." Fluttershy nudged Twilight. "Don't have too much fun studying." She looked at Discord. "And you behave. Celestia wants you to treat this seriously."
"Of course, I agree that I went too far, and this will get me back in everyone's good graces," Discord said and rubbed his paws together, "So Twilight, where are your books on why mercilessly torturing someone who hurt your friend is wrong? Then maybe we can go crazy and look up why torturing innocent bystanders is wrong too. Won't that be fun?" Party streamers and confetti showered down on both of them to the accompaniment of kazoos.
Fluttershy grinned as she left, it was good to see her friend take something so seriously.
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Klein looked at the invitation. Fancy danced nervously, she wanted him to come with and be at her side when the dedication occurred. "The new toys are out and we've got all the bugs out of manufacturing. Do you have any problems with it?" she asked.
" 'Assorted workmen'? Not 'work ponies'?" he said, "Odd phrasing from Equestria."
"You're not nitpicking about that are you?" Fancy asked.
"No, of course not," Klein said, "In fact I'd like you to invite them over. If I'm going to be digging beside them, I want them to know I'm not going to go crazy and beat them over the head with a shovel. I'll even ask the Councillor to bring one of his spice cakes, with some of my fudge frosting. At the cost of planting something symbolic in the garden." He leaned down to let Fancy hug him.
"I thought you'd be paranoid about strange Equestrians near you or wandering in our home," Fancy said.
"Considering Discord is coming in day after tomorrow, I doubt we have to worry about agents of your family doing something stupid." He let her go. "But we are going to have to move the piano to get more space in here, and it'll give me an excuse to paint the wall behind it."
"Okay. Just make sure it matches the rest of the wall," Fancy replied.
"It will once it's ready for the piano to go back," Klein said, "I just figured something weird and conversational for when Discord is here."
Fancy rolled her eyes then waddled off to the bathroom again. "I think my bladder is shrinking."
"They just hug it because it's you," he replied.
"HA!" she replied.
"Need help with the paino?" Dipper said as she arrived.
"Yep, and it's a piano, just because you don't like your lessons," Klein replied as Dipper made a face at him, "I need to get the wheels under it."
"Now what's the first thing your going to say to Discord when he arrives?" Fancy asked.
"Argumenalate tralfaz," Dipper replied.
There was silence from the bathroom as the pair put the piano on the cart.
"That's probably exactly what you're going to say," Fancy said.
"Like mother like daughter," Klein replied, "You're too nervous about this. If you mess up. What's the worse thing that can happen? Her Highness takes it away from you?"
"She gives me three more," Fancy said as she left the bathroom and saw Klein spattering the wall behind the piano with red paint. "What is that?"
"An artist from my home called Jackson Pollack would spatter a canvas with paint to demonstrate the contrast of color and to let the mind create shapes from the chaos. That's a bit avant garde for work ponies, so I'd try something simpler." Klein grinned at her.
"They're definitely going to think we deserve Discord," Fancy agreed.
Once she was out of sight, Klein poked his finger with a needle and added a few smears of blood to the largest paint splotches.
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The 'workmen' were not all males, but they were all ponies. Big, strapping Earth ponies to a one. A mix of colors of bodies and manes, but most had a construction or gardening cutie marks. Except for the one large, pale mare who seemed to disappear into the background.
"Welcome, I hope the sudden bad weather didn't cause you any problems," Fancy said as Klein took their coats, "There's hot stew and some mulled cider. I thought we should talk about the actual work before we get out there." She headed into the living room where a diagram was laid out.
One of the stallions and two of the mares remained behind to help with the coats. "What is that?" the stallion asked of the design where the piano had been.
"Oh, a little art, I'll paint over it. That's where the piano will go," Klein said as he hung up the coats.
"It doesn't smell like just paint," the smaller mare leaned close and said.
"I don't want to panic my pregnant wife on the day before her big ceremony," Klein said quietly, "But just between us, I don't think they were really Celestia's commandos. She would have sent more than just eight." Klein pointedly ignored the horrified looks among the trio. "Shall we join the party?" he asked with the last of the coats hung up, "With our luck this snow will be freezing rain by morning, and then what are we going to do?"
The trio nodded as they followed him into the living room, but all of them stared at the haphazard red splotches on the wall as they passed. They could hardly tear their eyes away.
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Fancy washed the dishes while Dipper dried. Klein was painting over his 'experiment'. "Did that mare seem awfully concerned about our 'relationship'?" Fancy asked, "I'd forgotten how nosy some ponies can be."
"It's probably how they deal with stress," Klein said as he finished the first coat on the wall. "You saw how she, that stallion and that big mare stayed clumped together. Maybe they were trying to see if we were 'open-minded'."
Fancy glanced at Dipper who was a bit frustrated they were talking over her head again.
"No, there was more to it than that," Fancy said.
"Could be the question of how are you with child? Is parthenogenesis possible or prevalent?" Klein asked as he took up the drop cloth and the other painting gear.
"Not that I've ever heard of. Wait, you're saying they think you aren't the father?" Fancy asked.
"I'm saying they can't figure out how I could be." Klein entered the kitchen and kissed Fancy.
"I can," Dipper said.
"You're smarter than they are," Klein said and kissed her too.
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"Rarity, if it's good enough for ma tree, it's good enough for your dresses," Applejack said as they stood around Discord, ready to 'go express' to Multicursal.
"It's just these are very delicate," Rarity said.
"Then they ain't the right dresses for her Archduchessness," Applejack murmured.
"Are you all ready, it's quite cold there?" Discord said.
"I'm ready," Spike said from inside the borrowed parka.
"Good enough," Discord said and they reappeared in the grounds of the Equestrian Embassy. "Tada." Discord leaned down and rapped on the ground. "That's going to be interesting."
"How the hay are they supposed to plant in this ground?" Applejack asked as she stomped on the ground.
"How are they supposed to see my beautiful dresses in this weather?" Rarity asked as she skittered on the ice.
"How about we discuss this inside?" Spike suggested as his teeth began chattering.
"It'll be warmer when the sun's up," Discord said.
"That pale patch of bright in the clouds?" Applejack asked and pointed.
"Uh, ya," Discord said.
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The first speech was by Blueblood, and managed to get everyone chuckling by his constant references to the vast expanse, immense population and huge resources of this 'new' province. What a grave responsibility and huge administrative effort running it would require. It transitioned into Fancy's history of familial and personal loyalty to Celestia. Which had Fancy chuckling.
Then he stepped aside. Klein pulled a pair of axes out of the barrel of tools he'd brought.
"Oh no, he's seen through your disguise," Discord wailed as he hid behind a particular trio, "I mean he's going to kill us all."
"Discord, everyone knows you use a shotgun on horses, not an axe," Klein said as he dropped the axe in front of the large mare, her two companions were nearly apoplectic, but the mare picked up the ax and chopped through the frozen layer of turf to the softer ground below. She and Klein started on opposite sides and they circled around until they'd cut away a 'lid' that Discord lifted into the air.
"We'll cut a slot for your tree," Discord told Applejack.
As the others spoke, they also scattered seeds or seedlings into the earth. Finally Discord broke up the slab of frozen turf and set it down around the seedlings and over the seeds. Leaving the small apple tree surrounded by smaller plants. The more experienced gardeners provided cover for the plants against the cold.
The rest of the group headed into the Embassy to get out of the cold, and they sought out the small buffet that had been laid out. Applejack, Klein and the large mare were the notables who worked outside with the gardeners.
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It was evening, and Fancy had invited Blueblood, Rarity and Applejack back to their home. Once they were settled in, and Dipper was tucked in, Klein returned to the living room, and saw the letters the Bearers had written.
Neither Rarity nor Applejack were pleased Klein hadn't read them.
"We're not good enough fer ya?" Applejack said.
"There is nothing you had to say that was the least bit interesting to me. Just because someone sends a letter, that doesn't mean you have to read it," Klein replied.
"Tain't polite," Applejack said, and ignored Rarity's soft warning.
"Why? Is it polite to waste my time? I have a family to look after and a business to run. I owe them my time and attention first and foremost. People on another continent I will never visit are possible customers, nothing more."
"The fact we are Twilight's friends has nothing to do with it?" Rarity asked and glared at Applejack to keep her quiet.
"I told their Highnesses, I wanted nothing to do with them, any of them. They agreed." Klein gestured at the letters, "Going around the letter of the agreement to violate the spirit does her cause no favors."
"So you think these are some attempt to explain away what happened?" Rarity asked.
"The other four are," Fancy said, "Yours asks for details. Since I suspected you were coming, I thought it might be a good place to learn." She looked at Klein. "I know your 'contract' with the Princesses was they leave you alone for your silence. But neither Luna nor Twilight has lived up to their end of the agreement."
"There comes a time when these things need to be out in the open," Blueblood added.
Klein sat down in front of the fire, and rearranged the bed of coals before adding another log. That done, and his decision made, he got a mop bucket from the broom closet and returned to the table. "All right. The first time any of you say 'she'd never do that' or some other such nonsense, you, your hat and coat get thrown out into the street. I will admit, I know nothing of their motivations, and could care less. I will tell you what happened to me."
He began, starting with 'I was taken from my home and family without warning', leaving out he was an alien and telling them what happened from there. After a little while, Applejack took full advantage of the bucket. When she was done, Klein dumped it out, then rinsed it out.
"I would have thought it would be one of us," Blueblood said to Rarity.
"It might," Fancy warned, looking as queasy as the others.
Klein continued his tale. While none of them needed to use the bucket again, it was a near thing, even for Fancy. Klein stood near the mantle, staring at the wall while the fire burned merrily in the grate. His tone was emotionless, his descriptions clinical. He was not trying for sympathy, but the ponies were revolted and frightened. He ended his story after the point he woke up in the hospital.
"I took some time to get healthy and do my research. Once I had enough, I tried to escape and I succeeded. I landed in Minotaura, and heard that Multicursal was even farther off the beaten path. So I settled here. The rest you can read in the newspapers."
Applejack reached over to her letter, then flipped it into the fire. "I think I see why Princess Sparkle never talked about it," she said.
"They never tried to apologize?" Rarity asked her head bowed and her ears tight against her head.
"They tried to lure him back to Canterlot with a Royal Commission, so they could explain, but that's hardly an apology," Fancy said, "At least I hope they were trying to explain, they could have wanted to use reform spells on him. Make sure he was no threat to Equestria or Celestia. Another princess has been mucking around his dreams to determine the same thing. It seems they won't take 'yes' for an answer."
None of the Equestrians looked comfortable with that assertion.
"Twilight does get a bit eccentric when Celestia is involved," Rarity said.
"I've read a few of the wilder reports," Klein said as he stepped away from the fireplace, "When even Discord tries to change the subject, you realize they are inaccurate because they cleaned them up." He shrugged. "You asked, now you've heard. Equestria as far as I'm concerned is someone elses' problem. I have customers there. That's all I want. Before you ask, I am not interesting in being friends. They say you can judge someone by their friends and by their enemies. Princesses Twilight and Luna are your friends, Discord is your enemy, that doesn't speak well of you from my point of view."
Klein and Fancy chuckled at Rarity and Applejack's expression.
"You'd trust Discord, before you'd trust Twilight?" Applejack asked. Her tone indicated she thought she was dealing with rampant insanity.
Klein put a finger on his chin. "Trust the one who taught our child about snowflakes."
"Chocolate rain," Fancy added, equally thoughtful.
"The changing of the leaves."
"About microbes and that unseen world."
"About the play of suns and moons and gravity."
"About thinking outside the box."
"Or trust someone who kidnaped me," Klein said.
"Tortured you," Fancy added.
"Poisoned me."
"Sent a false commission to lure you back to her 'tender' care."
"And simultaneously, callously crushed your hopes of a happy return."
"Discord or Twilight?" Fancy asked.
"Discord," the pair said together.
"Given your experiences," Blueblood said, "I can hardly fault your logic. But if you'd met her under better circumstances, you might think differently."
"The commission came over a year after my escape," Klein said as he sat down beside Fancy. She put her head in his lap and draped her forelegs over his legs. The other three ponies looked on with interest as Klein began scratching her behind the years. "If she couldn't let go in a year, she'll never let go. That's a good indicator I saw her in a typical light. Besides, as I said, other than customers, Equestria has nothing to offer."
"You could go home," Blueblood said.
"This is our home," Fancy said, "Yes, the council is led by a crook, but he's an honest and reliable crook. You pay your taxes and the occasional bribe to get his 'help' and your entire life runs very smoothly. That farce with the charity figurines wouldn't be tolerated. Someponies would be woken in the middle of the night, gathered with their family and given a stern lecture, perhaps followed by a beating. Not the most civilized behavior, but a far cry from ensorceling a trio of fillies, then a whole town, just to make something to report on."
"Twi'd just tangled with Discord," Applejack said, "She weren't all ways right in the head."
"Is that why you raced to her defense, before checking on your own sister?" Fancy asked. She looked up as Klein tickled her ear. He shook his head. "I apologize, that was uncalled for."
"I can see how that might look to an outsider," Rarity said, "But I assure you it was an aberration."
"I think her point was that it's not that great an aberration for Canterlot nobles," Blueblood said, "You've felt it, on several occasions. It is far worse when nobles are playing against each other."
"The point isn't to run down your home," Klein said, "But to point out, it isn't ours. There's no purpose for me ever going there. About the only people who live there we'd want to visit, can come here just as easily. So I don't see any reason to entertain the idea that what the Princesses want is important. To their subjects or in their country, yes. To someone on the far size of the world, no, not at all. If they harbor the idea that if just one person on the planet doesn't trust them, and wouldn't care about them, has to somehow be rectified or all the world is doomed, they've got a bigger problem. I don't hate your friend and your rulers, I am apathetic about them. That they can't or won't reciprocate is not my problem."
"At least you're honest about it," Rarity said quietly, getting a snort of laughter from Applejack. "And you been more than generous to put us up for the night."
"Our pleasure," Klein said.
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Applejack and Rarity had taken an airship, and then a train back to Ponyville, while Spike and Blueblood had been returned days earlier by Discord.
The town had turned out to greet their heroines returning in triumph.
"Now for the superest, most stupendiferous party in pony history," Pinkie shouted as the pair exited the train. The journey had clearly been long and hard on the pair. They seemed very tired.
"Well, did you enjoy yourselves, anything you want to tell us?" Twilight said and grinned.
"Yes, yer Highness," Applejack said quietly, giving Twilight a flat stare.
Twilight winced at the tone and Applejack's piercing gaze.
"But it can wait until after the party, then we are going to have a talk," Rarity said, "About trust."
Twilight fought desperately to remember an appointment, any appointment that would get her out of there.
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Pony hooves and their ability to grip had always amazed Klein. Like being held off the ground by the throat, by his lovely wife.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" she calmly informed him, Minotaura, Griffonstan, and likely most of Equestria.
He would have reminded her to breathe, if he could have himself.
"You've dilated nicely," the doctor crouched below said.
"Even the doctor wants you to die," Fancy said and grinned at him. A grin that would have sent any of the ponies' ancient enemies fleeing for their lives. She released him as another contraction peaked.
He let her lean against him and rubbed her back. "You're doing fine, keep breathing."
"I want them OUT!" she said, ending in an utterly crushing grip on his shoulders.
"One of them heard you," the doctor said, "Just push."
Fancy gnawed the collar of his shirt as she grunted with effort. The sound of Dipper's new little brother sounded through the room, and for a moment Fancy forgot the pain.
But only for a moment. "I'm going to have you fixed!"
Again everyone was glad the nurse in the corner had the only sharp objects in the room as she cut and tied off the cord.
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Shadow Lightning and Buzz paced the floor. Discord was playing cards with Discord and Dipper. A functionary from the embassy awaited word to transmit to the capital.
"I could speed things up," Discord offered.
"That's not how it works," Dipper said, "And quit eating your ante."
Discord set the candies down and stared.
Klein walked out, and everyone stared.
"What happened to you?" Dipper asked with alarm.
Klein, battered, his collar half chewed off, a black eye, and an absolute shit-eating grin knelt to kiss Dipper. "Your little brother and little sisters are fine, as is your mom." He winced slightly as Dipper jumped into his arms. "Easy honey, your mom's awfully strong."
"Now we know why ponies try to talk you out of being in there," Buzz said.
"Wild horses weren't going to keep me out," he replied.
"Can I see them?" Dipper said as she pronked excitedly.
"They're getting cleaned up," Klein said, "We can see them in about 20 minutes, and yes we includes you, Discord. As long as you promise not to go into the nursery. We can look at them through the window."
Klein looked at the functionary as he sat down. "I don't care what their Highnesses hear about them being alicorns, they cannot visit. Period."
"Al - i - corns," the functionary managed before fainting.
"They aren't really?" Dipper asked.
"I never said they were. Why don't we walk over and see?" Klein said.
"DADDY!" Dipper complained, but she relented when she saw how tired he was. "Mommy's okay."
"As tired as I am, but okay," he said as she jumped up on the chair beside him, and hugged him more gently.
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" 'I don't care what their Highnesses hear about them being alicorns, THEY CANNOT VISIT. PERIOD,' " Luna shrieked as she stomped around the throne room, "How dare he!? How dare he!? HOW DARE HE!?" The walls of the throne room shook with her rage.
WHAM!
"Sigged, foofall miter fink," Luna said as she sagged to the ground.
Discord examined the hunk of wood he'd just clouted Luna with. The 'Clue Bat' passed his inspection, then he hid it behind his back as he looked at Celestia.
She frowned at him. "Normally, I would be incensed by your violence towards my sister." Celestia sighed, "However, are they actually alicorns?"
"No," Discord said, "A unicorn colt and filly, and a pegasus filly."
"I see," Celestia said, she glanced at her scribe, "Take a letter." She glanced at Discord. "Please stay, and I'll let you deliver the letter you just read, to Princess Sparkle."
Discord nodded.
"To Councilor Oleaginous, apply all his ruffles, flourishes and titles. From: Her Highness Princess Celestia. No further titles or flourishes. We wish to celebrate with you the news that the Thunder-Bottle family has grown today. In our joy we would ask a boon."
"Personal favor," Discord said.
"Personal favor?" Celestia asked, and Discord nodded, "Personal favor. Would you be able to arrange diaper service for the family and their three newborns?" She noted Discord's grin and nod, and continued, "For a period of a year and a half, at the crown's expense."
Celestia paused. "Offer of agent, 10%?"
"No, but do arrange a charitable donation to a few of his favorites. Don't link them directly. But have the donations arrive at the same time as the request."
Celestia nodded. "Does Multicursal have a diaper service? The embassy couldn't answer."
"If not, they will soon enough," Discord said, "Well played. I don't think even Klein will refuse this."
"Especially coming through a trusted second-hand as it were," Celestia said and nodded.
Discord vanished.
Luna staggered to her hooves. "What hit me?" she asked and gingerly rubbed the lump on her head.
"Discord," Celestia said, "He was quite sensitive about his pregnancy," Celestia said and looked for the tea tray. When she looked back, Luna was flat on the floor again. She poured herself a cup and enjoyed the warm sweetness.
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5277199 Thanks, I hope the explanation of the curse in Conflagration meets your approval.
had me going there for a bit with the alicorn prank.
heh. "Clue Bat". Gotta love the classics.
And I have a sneaking suspicion Tia will commission one of her own.
Second week in a row that I come back after a long like 5~7 days, read the comments and a story ends up posted a short while later. I should do that more often.
Either way:
First: You have what I'd say is the best written Discord I've seen so far on FiMFiction. I absolutely love him in this story. You've written the serious side of Discord beautifully while giving him shades of personality in between just Serious and Chaotic. He's not just an "On and Off switch" that I usually see.
Second: My first comment on this story and its prequel was saying that I usually avoided HiE stories. I would like to say this story ended up completely destroying the aversion I had to them before after the first chapter and I tend to look at them more often.
Third: I loved seeing Luna get put in her place even if she is my "Best Princess."
Last: I do hope by the end of the story we finally get to see Twilight and Luna offer proper apologies even if he doesn't accept them.
Ow.
Some palpable vengeance at last!
Every word spoken to Luna.
And then Discord played Twilight like a set of bagpipes.
Love it.
Diaper service? Could I get a translation of that into English English?
AHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh Dan, you just...Brighten up my day! HEHEHEHEHE! Thank you. Especially the way you handle Celestia, Luna, Discord, and the Mane 6! Ah Pricesless!
Okay I have to ask, what did Celestia mean by that?
"side".
"interested".
5279072 That Luna is so venomous she'd betray and kill herself.
5279096 Ah, but why did Klein put blood in the paint, wait. I think he did that because he wanted to see if they were working for the royals or not. Or he was paranoid.
5279103
The blood was to attempt to override the smell of the paint.
5279103 At least you have theories. I am completely in the dark as for why he'd ever paint with his own blood, and as such, that was the weakest, most nonsensical part of the chapter for me.
5279136 Point, just curious on the why.
5279142 Perhaps, but he was either paranoid, or wanted to see if they were working with royals, because royal guards can be able to hold their stomach down with ease since they already smell blood.
5279144 As you said, the potential threat that they may have been working for Nobles (particularly Fancy's old family). He doesn't really trust Equestria/Ponies overall except a select few.
5279031 Ok little backstory, back in the day diapers were made of cloth. Unlike disposable diapers of today it wasn't 1 use then done, you actually reused them. Part of that would be washing them and soft bleaching of them to get the stains out. Now commoners would likely do that themselves but in middle class to upper class there would be services that would take used diapers to a laundry facility an clean them for a fee and return them directly to the home once clean. This was especially used at hopsitals that didn't have enough laundry service to take care of both linens and diapers if they didn't have a on site laundry big enough.
This was done quite a lot in Europe and for awhile in the U.S from the 1920's to about the 1970's. You could still theoretically find a service like this, but you only would likely find them in big cities today.
5279157 And who could blame him? I rather have paranoid instincts than trust anything Equestrian at first.
5279142
Klein is making the workponies think that eight home invaders recently got splattered against the wall. Red paint to cover the imaginary mess, and blood for the realistic smell.
Just in case this group means to harm his family, he's giving them a reason to think twice.
5278977 Rest assured, this Luna isn't canon Luna, your Luna. If you want to see a story where she's best princess (although she's fighting kinda hard with Celestia for the title) in regards to a battered, tortured and generally mistreated human being, I can give you a link.
I love Princess Luna, and I think adding her own sister's rage to such a torture is extreme, but deserved. I hope to see the kind of apology Klein deserves offered either in this story or a later installment, and if that happens then I hope the man is honestly man enough to accept. They don't have to be friends even then.
Okay, I HAVE to hear the "Talk" that Twi and her friends have. I suspect winning will happen.
Also, Celestia's words are perhaps the finest "You have fucked up" speech I have heard in fiction, because it hits ALL the best points as to why someone should feel bad.
In addition, the thing "Discord Vs. Twilight" in Klein's and Fancy's eyes? Priceless.
... I suspect I might be taking a tad too much pleasure from the suffering of the Alicorns. It's probably not healthy. SCREW IT, NEITHER IS KFC AND I EAT IT ANYWAY.
Not my favorite part of the chapter (It was the beginning parts easily), but damn if I didn't love it.
5279228
Celestia's anger is because she is wearing her 'Princess Crown' during that conversation. The covert agreement from the Toy Fair was if the Equestrian Princesses would leave him alone, Klein would keep his mouth shut about what Luna and Twilight Sparkle did to him.
And Luna's actions were violating that agreement. It was an issue of trust, in effect Luna was going being Celestia's back and violating a diplomatic agreement out of rampant paranoia. The potential consequences, here and if Luna was doing it elsewhere meant it didn't just involve two sisters. It had the potential to drag all of Equestria in after Luna.
Think the US President finding the Vice President or Speaker of the House was running his own foreign 'black operations' project. Besides that neither should be able to order such, anyone that finds out will assume the President (or Celestia in this case) had signed off on it.
5278913 5279014 Got Luna, and will presumably get Twilight as spun up. Of course when Luna spreads the word that Discord is pregnant, that will make things interesting. She might have agreed with the necessity, but no one hurts Celestia's family without consequences.
5279183 Correct, except he suspected some of the 'workmen' might not be who they seem, especially the big, white mare who seems to disappear into the background. 'I don't think they were really Celestia's commandos. She would have sent more than just eight.' Klein knew exactly who he was talking to.
5278961 She strikes me more a bow and arrow type, a cupid's bow only causing enlightenment. Scratch that, she'd need a GAU-8.
5278964 Luna will adjust. Besides, Nightmare wouldn't touch her in her current state.
5278977 Thanks, I try to write Discord's primary motivation as boredom, not evil. Keep him entertained, or better yet a little off balance, and you have him.
HiE can be badly done, but when done well they are very satisfying. I'm glad you consider this work on e of the satisfying ones.
Celestia tried to get Luna and Twilight to realize their error, finally she put the screws to them.
Not likely, 5279228 The agreement Celestia made is to leave him alone. She's going to insist on that. This chapter ends over three years after the opening of Drawn With the Night. If they haven't apologized yet, to do it later is meaningless. Klein's moved on, it would be a waste of time from his point of view. If they do apologize, it's just reopening old wounds.
5278979 She's been avoiding telling them for years, imagine how Applejack and Rarity felt.
5278995 Not vengeance, forcing the lesson down their throats.
5279014 Glad you enjoyed it.
5279072 5279096 And say she was doing it 'for Celestia' and is thus blameless.
5279031 5279161 Exactly.
5279252 I'm not sure I could do it justice, which is why I left it out. I suspect that Applejack and Rarity just repeated what Klein said. I don't know if Twilight would just get more morose, or leap to the defense of her actions.
As for the suffering of the alicorns, Celestia at least offers a real peace offering. Since her sister and student haven't apologized, she's offering some acknowledgement that a debt is owed.
5279352 Klein doesn't like remembering it. He doesn't want interruptions.
I'd just like to say that I don't know why, but I do like your abstract-succinct, but limited writing style. You do not go into a lot of details, aside from certain points here and there, leaving the reader to sort of piece together what's going on, although you make it somewhat difficult with how a number of characters, especially the main cast, talk in roundabout-like ways. And I really like it for whatever reason. I suppose it gives a sense of mystery as to what's going on at times, like looking out from a foggy window, able to see shapes and actions, but not seeing them in totality. It allows the readers to fill in the blanks. At least that's my opinion, I hope I'm not wrong.
Also, keep up the good work.
I would not want to be on the receiving end of Applejack's anger. To me it is worst than Celestia's, because since she is the Element of Honesty, it would be impossible to rationalize my way out of it, since she could easily break it down, and it would only make her mad. To me, getting chewed out by Applejack is a fitting punishment for her.
5279600 Ah.
5279499 I am aware, but thank you.
5279600 Closure can be a long time in coming, and his attitude shows he has clearly not "moved on" terribly well, not that he can be blamed for that. Blaming both Applejack and Rarity for the actions of their friend when it is obvious they were not aware is questionable, though not entirely unjustifiable.
In all, a well done chapter, and I hope to see more before long.
5279600
Implying that Discord would not only not take rumors that he's "Pregnant" in stride, but not go around for nine months with a gigantically overinflated belly, pretending to have massive mood swings, demanding insanely bizarre foods ("Where is my Tuna and Saurkraut Sundae!"), before eventually giving "Birth" to a half-draconequus, half Celestia creature.
Also, I like the thought that the argument between Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack got heated, and they forbid their sisters from being around Twilight for a while. Not out of meanness, but just seems like a reasonable thing to tell one's kid sister.
5279600
Don't put yourself down. You certainly wrote Celestia tastefully, you can certainly write the eventual "Twilight gets chewed out by her friends scene."
5279600
I wondered if that was a disguised Princess, or just a big solar herring.
5279691
Equine, so Discord can probably milk it for eleven months, or even more for 'the baby is late'.
5279765
Ooooh, and anytime the Mane Six show up anywhere he'll start hollering at Celestia and Luna that "This is all THEIR fault," and "When are you going to take responsibility for what you've done?"
Also, is Dan implying that one of the workers was Celestia herself? I couldn't tell.
5279787
With Celestia playing along?
As for the bit about the workers:
5279886
So was he implying that or wasn't he? I was not sure. I would like a yes or no answer, sorry if I sound short.
I personally thought that this was one of Celestia's Royal Guards who was trained in infiltration. I have heard far stranger ideas.
You know, I wondered why Rarity and Applejack never chewed Twilight out for mindraping their little sisters.
The fact they haven't addressed it just makes me feel they're falling into the 6th Geek Social Fallacy. Hell, I believe even Celestia is guilty of this to some degree, both in and out this fic.
If it was any other character I would assume this was a mistake, but with him I'm not sure.
A question: Is Discord a citizen of Equestria? I mean if he was, then Celestia has some legal power over him and can order him around. But if he isn't and he moved to another nation. That nation now has power rivalling the alicorns now, wouldn't they. And Discord would enjoy getting back at those who turned him to stone in subtle ways. So much so, that Celestia might have to send a group of famous ponies to stop him. And if those ponies were discovered attacking and abducting a prominent citizen of another country, who knows what diplomatic shitstorm might occur next.
Now I may be thinking too hard on this but hopefully it is just a hypothetical situation that might happen. Wouldn't it?
5279136 No, the paint already resembled blood. The blood Klein added made the resemblance so close, so realistic, it would unsettle the ponies and remind them of things they'd prefer to forget.
5279600
I'm not sure that exact punishment Luna was given by Discord is a right thing here (not that she does not deserve it) Punishment here is exactly what Discord said: a big stick. It does not teach a lesson on its own, unfortunately, only discourage unwanted behavior. While it is not Discord's duty to teach her, somebody has to. Somehow. So, I expect a bit more on this subject.
Unlike Luna's part, this is glorious. It looks more like punishment to Twilight than Discord. Celestia just gave excuse to chew Twilight to the person who has really much experience in making people feel uncomfortable and is not tied to Twilight with emotional bonds. A very elegant solution for her to ensure that Twilight will think through everything, Discord could learn the trick. Also, did Fluttershy got that too, or is she indeed so naive?
Also, nice break from usual bashing Blueblood. Maybe he can become a friendly acquaintance to Klein ? At least they know each other, and Klein needs trusted distributor in Equestria.
All around very good chapter. So was the large white mare in the background an agent of Celestia or really the princess herself in a disguise so thin it was almost transparent? There are plenty of arguments for either so there's no obvious answer.
And the usual:
Alright, I missed something big time.
How far after the first one is this one?
Because I'm pretty sure I missed something.
5280842 Use Dipper as your 'yardstick'. She's a babe in arms when introduced in DWtN, she's still in diapers and barely talking in the first chapter of Into the Day (about 18 months old). She's vocal in chapter 3, and even doing piano lessons in chapter 4. Fancy's pregnant in 3 and gives birth in 4 (11 month span). The Fall Toy Fair is roughly a year after Klein meets Fancy and Dipper.
5280895 Alright, thanks for that. I knew I missed something.
You are one of if not the best HIE writer on this entire site whenever this or Cultural artifacts updates i always feel likes Christmas has come early.
If the kids had been alicorns (another Discord gift) that would have been great.
Why weren't they human-pony hybrids or something? Loved that now Twilight has to spend happy-fun learning time teaching Discord why torture is wrong.
5279600 At least she is doing something. Discord's punishment could easily qualify as torture, and allowing it to continue, when the victim is her own sibling, is rather sick on certain levels.
I know Luna needs a kick in the teeth, but I can see this biting Celestia on the flank as well. The same low skills in the social arena which caused Luna to do as she did may cause her to take Celestia's actions very poorly, an incredibly dangerous situation which may cost the Solar Diarch her good relations with her sibling.
5281220
Ahem. What Luna did in this story is *not* low social skills. It is more about when to treat people "decent, unless proven otherwise" and when "whatever is worse, unless proven otherwise" and if one is allowed to ignore own promises.